[Traditional Enneagram] 1 vs 3

[thoughtlost]

Typical 3 twisting failures into successes

I agree with this. 3s an turn their negatives into positives. 1s tend to acknowledge their faults and attempt to fix them. 1s have tendency to "fix" themselves whereas 3s want to be "above" their faults in order to keep up their self-image.
With 3s, it's really hard these days because their image can be being a good person (go running everyday, have a career that maintains their self-image or whatever) ...3s can look like 1s sometimes.

with a one wing, it's less about maintaining an image and more about really trying to do what it is right. I have a 2w1 friend who will point out bad behaviors in others. I am not sure if a 3 would do that because it is more self-focused. If they point out bad behaviors in others, then it's only to make themselves look better than their "competition". Like 2w3 is a more "selfish" version of the 2???

Edit:: Also, I am glad there is another thread discussion on 3s. It's talked about a lot less than the other types.

 

[Tilt]

I agree with this. 3s an turn their negatives into positives. 1s tend to acknowledge their faults and attempt to fix them. 1s have tendency to "fix" themselves whereas 3s want to be "above" their faults in order to keep up their self-image.
With 3s, it's really hard these days because their image can be being a good person (go running everyday, have a career that maintains their self-image or whatever) ...3s can look like 1s sometimes.

with a one wing, it's less about maintaining an image and more about really trying to do what it is right. I have a 2w1 friend who will point out bad behaviors in others. I am not sure if a 3 would do that because it is more self-focused. If they point out bad behaviors in others, then it's only to make themselves look better than their "competition". Like 2w3 is a more "selfish" version of the 2???

Edit:: Also, I am glad there is another thread discussion on 3s. It's talked about a lot less than the other types.

That is quite true but if a 3 wants their image to be of honesty, directness, self-improvement, etc, then they will emphasize those traits. Figure out what platform the 3 is trying to idealize and the blindspots will be quite visible. FWIW, I have been told I am quite critical if it gets in the way of me accomplishing my goals.

 

[Bush]

I agree with this. 3s an turn their negatives into positives. 1s tend to acknowledge their faults and attempt to fix them. 1s have tendency to "fix" themselves whereas 3s want to be "above" their faults in order to keep up their self-image.

Pretty much. Where a 3 may brush off or deny some fault, a 1 might grind on it to the point of self-flaggelation.

And then, hopefully, they both face reality and adjust their respective approaches into something that's actually workable.

With 3s, it's really hard these days because their image can be being a good person (go running everyday, have a career that maintains their self-image or whatever) ...3s can look like 1s sometimes.

I'd differentiate as follows -- 3s want to be valuable (which may involve e.g. running every day, having that desirable career). 1s want to be right(eous) and good while also putting a good solid order to the world around them.

For a 3, the veneer is the only thing the outside world sees. So, hey, masks become pretty good shortcuts to establishing value! But we all know that a construct lies upon lies upon lies is just a house of cards that's asking for a slight poke from actual truth.

Contrast to a 1. Their thoughts and behavior are often well-intentioned, though perhaps overboard and rigid.

Mash the two together. Value and virtue do overlap. A lot. And, hey; virtues in and of themselves are seen as valuable. To be seen as good is, usually, to also be seen as valuable. So 3s and 1s can get confused that way.

(I have a love-hate relationship with what's right or virtuous, often wondering whether it ought to be pursued for its own sake. I do question it.)

with a one wing, it's less about maintaining an image and more about really trying to do what it is right. I have a 2w1 friend who will point out bad behaviors in others. I am not sure if a 3 would do that because it is more self-focused. If they point out bad behaviors in others, then it's only to make themselves look better than their "competition". Like 2w3 is a more "selfish" version of the 2???

This goes back to 1's well-intentioned qi, totally. Your basic model 3 wouldn't care as much. I'd agree about those wings.

 

[Bush]

One 3-flavored version of actually self-improvement might involve -- exaggerating certain traits (virtue, charisma, expertise, etc.), but then working to fill in the gap between where they are and where they've placed that yardstick. Reach that yardstick, rinse and repeat; or simply keep moving that yardstick to the right. Because what better way to project charisma than to actually be at least a little bit charismatic? Whether or not it's a conscious effort, it's a workable approach. It's what I do.

I've talked before about 'visulazation' as a tactic. Like, facing a freethrow and imagining yourself getting that ball into the hoop. Imagine yourself being totally awesome enough to sink that basket -- an example of visualization in the short term. Think of the internal confidence boost an actual hit would give you.

Speaking of basketball..

https://www.quora.com/Why-could-Dennis-Rodman-get-so-many-rebounds-when-he-was-just-6-feet-7-inches

Early in his career, Rodman was focused on being the greatest 1-on-1 defender in NBA history. That was all he did, and I've never seen anyone like him. The Dennis Rodman who played for the Bulls wasn't even close to being as good a defender as the one that played for the Bad Boys championship teams. He was still better than 99% of the NBA, but he wasn't as good.

That's because, by that point, he had switched his focus to rebounding. It cost him a little bit defensively, but no one had ever worked harder on rebounding than Worm. He knew how every offensive player blocked out. He knew how every shot from every angle was going to bounce off the rim and where he needed to be to grab it. He knew precisely which way to tip a ball so that he would be in position to run it down.

Dennis, obviously, is wired a little differently than the rest of us. Early in his career, he was terrified of being in the spotlight, so he was happy to do the grunt work - rebounding and defense - on a team that rewarded that. This was the guy who was unable to speak at the Pistons' championship rallies, or when he got the Defensive Player of the Year awards. He just wept uncontrollably when he was handed the microphone.

Later on, he found a coping mechanism that allowed him to deal with public attention - he created a persona that was the exact opposite of the real person. The guy with the purple hair and the wedding dresses isn't Dennis Rodman any more than "Prime Time" is the real Deion Sanders.

Luckily for NBA fans, especially in Detroit and Chicago, Dennis Rodman the basketball player was formed before he discovered that coping strategy. That's how he turned himself into an almost unique player in basketball history.

Yeah, even that first bolded described me.

"Ya had it in ya all along, man!"

 

[Tilt]

One 3-flavored version of actually self-improvement might involve -- exaggerating certain traits (virtue, charisma, expertise, etc.), but then working to fill in the gap between where they are and where they've placed that yardstick. Reach that yardstick, rinse and repeat; or simply keep moving that yardstick to the right. Because what better way to project charisma than to actually be at least a little bit charismatic? Whether or not it's a conscious effort, it's a workable approach. It's what I do.

I've talked before about 'visulazation' as a tactic. Like, facing a freethrow and imagining yourself getting that ball into the hoop. Imagine yourself being totally awesome enough to sink that basket -- an example of visualization in the short term. Think of the internal confidence boost an actual hit would give you.

I don't know if this is another twisted version of this flavor of 3 but I think I secretly get off on people underestimating me so I can try to get to the yardstick within my own timeframe and project whatever influence I have when I really need to or want to. I will unconsciously emphasize certain truths/traits about myself so that people will draw random conclusions based on their own projections... It's ironically usually other 3s who call me out on this. It's not that I am trying to be manipulative, it's just that I am rather private but also want to connect with others.