[Traditional Enneagram] What's so hard about being your type?

[Galena]

The human basics you cannot take for granted - like finding love, having what it takes to survive, being a good person, the ability to be a parent, the capability to love, that peace is within reach, that you'll find your niche in the workplace, that you're doing X right. The shock at discovering how many people just assume that these things apply/will apply to themselves. The realization that for all the disappointment and ruin those risk, there is a converse strength that comes of their lack of doubt, a strength that will serve them even if their expectations do not come true. They never doubt that they are the way they were supposed to be, or that they are surrounded by peers.

(more likely to describe a subset of types that includes mine, than just mine)

 

[Yama]

For e1:

It's like having someone constantly shouting in your ear that you could do more, be more, ALWAYS be better, because it's my way or the highway, and my way is absolute FLAWLESSNESS, accepting no substitutes for RIGHT and JUST and PERFECT. Imagine that the yelling guy is like a drill sergeant, or a football coach. Never able to see anything you do as anything other than "okay" or "terrible" -- no middle ground, and no "good" or "perfect", ever. Constantly drilling, drilling, drilling.

It's like having that experience 24/7 for so long, that you realize that you're turning into that person. Not only do you now believe everything they say, but you want to shout down literally everyone and everything in your life, in exactly the same way. But you never do, because part of you knows that it's unfair. That that person is unfair and abusive and awful. But you can't face that, because if they're awful, then so are you.

My 1 wing's been a big pain in the booty recently, so I can relate to this. How does a 1 core survive?!?! You brave souls.

 

[Galena]

CP6.

Before I found out I was a CP6, I always felt like I was internally screaming with energy, frustration, annoyance...never knowing where to put it. Dealing with the dichotomy of never caring *truly* but feeling forced with a churning drive to not stop moving at the risk of becoming ordinary, lazy, complacent.

Ennegram has been crucial to me chilling the f*ck out. Learning what and how to tap into my 9 fix. Realizing self-sabotage and reaction.

I'm not a shark that needs to keep moving to not drown...I just need to face the waves and there will always be water to move through my gills.

I relate to this one quite a bit, too. The bolded is on the nail.

 

[miss fortune]

8

everyone's expectations on typology websites that I'm some sort of brute who's going to club them for doing anything... oh wait... that one is kind of amusing

the fact that wild horses could not drag an admission of weakness or any possible vulnerability from me in real life and it's pretty fucking hard to do even here where I can't see you guys? that one isn't the most fun particularly and has involved therapy sessions that primarily involved me staring at the floor and mumbling monosyllabic answers unless I really put in an uncomfortable effort. I have issues that way and there are plenty of people of the same type who have worked past that

for the whole tritype I suppose there's the whole "let us never speak of this terrible thing again" issue... and inability to express negative emotions other than occasional anger in the presence of others and if you've ever seen me tear up I swear to god I'll rip out your tongue if you even mention it to ME, let alone to anyone else, so back out of the room slowly and erase your mind

I have control issues it appears

 

[á´…eparted]

My 1 wing's been a big pain in the booty recently, so I can relate to this. How does a 1 core survive?!?! You brave souls.

It is exausting. The whole issue of "this could be better!" drives ones to keep running until they crash and burn.

It's actually a decent parallel to 8's desire to not show weakness.

 

[Coriolis]

• never getting enough quiet, uninterrupted alone time
• always feeling the weight of how many things I don't know, but want to know
• seeing all the stupid choices people make around me, and the inevitable consequences
• having a default state of detachment, which makes it almost impossible to live in the moment most of the time
• having little energy or motivation to make connections with people, other than professionally
• not being bothered by most of the above

There is probably more.

 

[Galena]

Theory of type hardness:

Every type has their self-fulfilling prophecies. You think you are eX, so you make choices like eX, incurring eX-colored life outcomes. Once one becomes freer of the type's image, many of those lifestyles produced while entranced are changeable with work.

But some of them aren't, because life is increasingly finite. Some windows of choice are only open for so long, or in certain stages. If you're past one of those windows and weren't in the right mind while passing through it...too bad. The type was a mindset then, what you thought you were but didn't have to be. Today, you are free to think whatever you please, but in a few practical ways, you are now that eX. Use what you've created for good.

 

[Luke O]

5w4?

Halfway between this world and my own, both as big as the other, but so different. And I never stop thinking, analysing, creating, I distract myself too much sometimes.

 

[Pionart]

Number 9 calling out loudest.

I take it as lacking a solid sense of self, so that a false self is manufactured from energy which is or has (or will?) contact. Result, not knowing quite what I value myself, so not knowing quite when someone is leading me towards or away from who I am. Some sense of affection and general liking of others, perhaps indicating what I am not seeing of myself, but this point confuses.

Values taken by fitting all information together to determine the most likely truth and hence course of action, yet entire structure hinges on small pieces that can easily switch. Lacking a solid foundational base to determine action, action rarely becomes from self, and rather is manipulated by environmental factors, taken out to sea, and feeling every wave and current.

General struggle in determing own wants, as the True Good is intimately linked to this; as conscious being, absoluteness comes from the centre, or no, or yes? Yes.

 

[Galaxy Gazer]

1. I'm really awkward and I never know which direction to step when I almost run into someone.
2. I literally can't think while speaking.
3. I'm extremely critical of everything and everyone.
4. Because I have Ne, I'm prone to really, really wanting to live in a completely different world or century, and knowing it can never happen is painful.
5. I suck at comforting people, even though I genuinely want to help.
6. Prolonged affection (more than 2 minutes) makes me feel like I'm locked inside a box.
7. I procrastinate. A lot.
8. I have the desire to write (it's part of my Ne) but not the Fi or Ni needed to be good at it
9. I struggle a lot with my identity. It's not always there

 

[EJCC]

My 1 wing's been a big pain in the booty recently, so I can relate to this. How does a 1 core survive?!?! You brave souls.

We get used to it.

And write lots of emo poetry.

It is exausting. The whole issue of "this could be better!" drives ones to keep running until they crash and burn.

I see the "being me is exhausting" thing all over the forum, from folks of all types. Sometimes we all wish we could have a break from ourselves, I think.

It's actually a decent parallel to 8's desire to not show weakness.

^ I almost always test as 8 when I take Enneagram tests -- lots of overlap between "always act the right way" and "always be strong", and sometimes "always dominate the situation".

 

[Duffy]

I have 'social last' problems.

-I have difficulty forming meaningful relations. It's not difficult to arouse wonder and interests, but as soon as they get close, they come to realize of an invisible divide.
-Perception of self is incongrous with reality because the lack of external feedback. It's like going into a dungeon with no mirrors. You leave at some time, unaware how much time has passed, and begin to realize the mental image of you is soo... different.

Some 4-ish or 5-ish stuff.

-Frequently mentally preoccupied, which results in negligence of bodily needs and a lack of grounding presence. This gives people the impression I'm emotionally unavailable or unfeeling (only true ~50% of the time). I also misplace things.
-Probably ties in more with social last. I feel like stupid people have it easier when it comes to forming relations, but I know the problem is me. I don't know where to pin point my exact issue other then perhaps my personality is suck.
-I feel like I'm missing out on important experiences others are acquiring.

 

[Hank]

Both as an ENFP and a 749, I like learning about new things/ideas and getting to know people. I'm pretty upbeat about it, actually. And I like it when people are nice to each other and respect what each other has to say, so I don't typically start (or join) discussions about controversial topics of any variety unless I know the other person/people well and can feel like no one (including myself) is going to feel personally attacked by the discussion. This means that there are several people that I never talk about certain subjects with, because we never approach an environment in our relationship that I feel comfortable exposing my thoughts in. (Does that make me a bad Fi user? Defending my opinion isn't worth ruining the peace most of the time for me, honestly.)

This gets me a lot of accusations of being politically correct. It also earns me a lot of condescending comments like "you'll grow out of this when you get older"/"I used to worry about not offending anyone when I was your age, but eventually I learned better," etc. Which honestly just makes me angry, because I don't appreciate being told indirectly that there is some inherently naive flaw in my personality that needs to be improved upon. I have no issue with self-improvement, and I am in no way perfect--but I am the way that I am because I am trying to be polite. It's not my issue that you got bitter and closed-minded when you got older. Grr.

 

[Evo]

• never getting enough quiet, uninterrupted alone time
• always feeling the weight of how many things I don't know, but want to know
• having a default state of detachment, which makes it almost impossible to live in the moment most of the time

• 
  
  I relate, especially the first one.

 

[Rambling]

Every type has its woes. Enneagram seems to focus on the negative rather than the positive (and I rather appreciate it, actually). So, what's so hard about being type X? Be as melodramatic as your heart feels it necessary.

I wrote on my outside blog (it's in my signature) about love. Here, I am connecting it to being a 2.

This is what's so hard about being a 2, and quite likely aux Fe. I entitled it, A Full Heart Aches.

A hurting heart is most often associated with emptiness; it aches because it knows well the pangs of hunger. For me, however, I don’t feel emptiness. I feel full, so very full, with a heart that loves and feels with unparalleled passion.

My heart hurts because I have too much love. I have love for causes, for humanity, and above all, for the ones whom I personally know. Sometimes I simply overflow. With new information and input coming at me constantly, I scarcely have the time to process it or the space in my mental chamber to store it. So all the fresh love and fresh information dribbles out of me, like mashed food from the mouth of a baby who is no longer hungry. Come to think of it, that’s who I am – a child who’s too full. I’m too full.

To me, releasing love isn’t just second-nature; it’s vital. I want to pour it out. What is normal for me, however, is overwhelming for others. People don’t always like to be bombarded with I-love-yous and appreciation. It’s uncomfortable, and I have largely learned to deal with it, but sometimes I just can’t help myself. My heart aches to love, and to be loved in return. When I don’t receive love for my love efforts, I feel dejected. A big heart pours out and needs more to be filled up again, but most people do not love so much. Sometimes I feel like that’s how I live – always looking to pour out my full heart, then seeking tirelessly, though passively, for love with which to pacify it once more. So, then, I suppose I have contradicted myself. I do feel empty, but never without feeling full. I am a living embodiment of two extremes.

What is it like to have a moderate heart – a heart that doesn’t crave to empty and refill? What is it like to not feel so bloated by passion? A sliver of me wants to experience this lukewarm contentment, but then again, I would never want to be half-hearted.

There's nothing I really dislike about being a 548 - I like being me. And when I read about the tritype I like myself even more...

 

[entropie]

There's nothing I really dislike about being a 548 - I like being me. And when I read about the tritype I like myself even more...

I liked that but the smiley at the end made it seem sarcastical. That made me confused

 

[1487610420]

ze pness

 

[entropie]

ze pness

ah c'mon dont be such an omega

 

[1487610420]

ah c'mon dont be such an omega

 

[entropie]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aALUh8SxNUg