[Traditional Enneagram] Enneagram type 3?

[hjgbujhghg]

I've been stuck in the idea of being an enneagram type 4 for such a long time I now think it might have led to misconceptions. I was doing some introspection and the possibility of me being a 3 as my core type seems more and more likely.
I know I am not the typical e3, but which INFP would be? I also know 3 is rare for INFPs, but still not impossible at all.

So anyone who care to give it a thought and do a bit psychological brainstorming with me is welcome in this thread.

 

[Ghost]

I don't have anything to say yet, except that this is an interesting thought. It's incredibly easy for INFPs to mistype themselves as 4.

I think that INFP 3, while uncommon, would be more common than 1 and 8. So I think there must be INFP 3s floating around.

 

[hjgbujhghg]

I don't have anything to say yet, except that this is an interesting thought. It's incredibly easy for INFPs to mistype themselves as 4.

I think that INFP 3, while uncommon, would be more common than 1 and 8. So I think there must be INFP 3s floating around.

I've seen INFPs who type as 1s, probably because of the ethical and moral righteousness of the type.

 

[Captain_Invincible]

For ages, I thought I was a 7w8, but now 8w9 fits a lot better after doing some digging.
[Well, 8 in general, but I lean towards the 9 wing over the 7].
Just pick whatever enneagram types fits you the best.
Don't worry if it 'aligns' with your type or not.
Some anonymous nut job typed themselves as INFP 8 here once.
If it goes, it goes. Who cares? This is why so many people are mistyped anyway.
Because they tend to believe the stereotypes. And not what actually suits them best.

 

[Tilt]

[MENTION=18559]Inis Mona[/MENTION]: Looking at your pictures.... I see more 4w3.Your outward image is art.

 

[hjgbujhghg]

[MENTION=18559]Inis Mona[/MENTION]: Looking at your pictures.... I see more 4w3.Your outward image is art.

3w4s can be artistic too can't they?

 

[Tilt]

3w4s can be artistic too can't they?

Yes. For sure. However, the manifestation is different.
My best friend is 4w3 and I am 3w4. Her outward appearance/image is a huge canvas for her self-expression. Her style is HER own unique brand. i use my appearance to project a certain image for a goal. My style is more toned down with pops of color. My friend will go all out.

Also, she's much more open in expressing and experiencing darker, negative emotions while I will tend to supress them and fixate on minor details related to my goals and work in an attempt to run from my vulnerabilities or I will make vague references to them.

 

[fetus]

I would need a little more information to really put forth any substantial insights. But I would say to look into the core motivations and fears of the types. That's honestly where it lies. Descriptions are guides, but Enneagram isn't really about descriptions.

I typed as a 4w3 for the longest time because I wasn't looking at the pure rawness of the Enneagram. I was description-typing, which is the most common (and inaccurate) way to self-type. When I realized that my deepest desire to be loved and wanted actually aligned with 2, I started to accept it.

I will remind you of something you wrote in a thread I started on different "flavors" of INFPs.

INFP 3 - This combination is hard... This INFP would probably feels in a conflict with their own persona, their own desire and needs. An introverted achiever, who can be competitive while staying sympathetic and emotional. This INFP would probably learn well how to put their feelings aside, when a job needs to be done. Tough and focused, while staying sentimental. I can imagine such INFP would have to fight with their introversion and feel at the conflict between their need of being alone and being appreciated. Sometimes they might experience outbursts of extraverted energy. I can imagine this INFP would be highly motivated to achieve something great, to change society or to become a famous artist. There is a risk of emotional troubles and turbulence when such INFP forgets about their feelings completely or try to ignore them. I think they would be very likeable and charming beings, naturally shy but very charismatic and skilled with social contact, they'd use their Fi+Ne to not only understand and sympathize with people, but also to win them over and to become the sweethearts of the group. They'd probably come across more as J types, or ENFPs.

The thing with Enneagram descriptions is that they start to wander into MBTI territory. The 2 descriptions are basically the same as the ESFJ profiles. 3 descriptions seem ExTJ to me, but motivations could definitely be feasible for an INFP.

I wouldn't worry about correlation between the two typology systems that much...try to see how they influence each other. How could being an INFP 3 make you seem like a 4? I always knew I was Fi > Fe, but I display Fe because of 2w3. Think about it that way.

I didn't mean to make this all about me. I just thought that my example would be relevant here.

 

[magpie]

You've confused me about whether I'm 4w3 or 4w5. I think it's certainly possible you're 3w4. You do seem to have more image focus, I guess, than I see in myself. But that doesn't necessarily mean that you're a 3, or anything at all, really.

 

[thoughtlost]

Oh interesting.

Well, the difference between a 3w4 and a 4w3 doesn't have to be about which type is more artistic. I think both types can be "artistic".

I am not really sure about this distinction, but a core 3 is someone who strives to be something to feel secure in who they are. Think Oprah, in a sense. She is different from you in the sense that she is an ENFJ, but she is always thinking about finding her truth and is successful because she focuses on the expression of the self (something that no other television personality person was doing before her). At first, it was hard to see her as a 3, because they are usually described as someone trying to looking to social norms to feel secure in themselves. But she is clearly a three because although she is more in-tune with her emotions and has a stronger hold on who she is as an individual and enjoys exploring her individuality like a 4 would be, as a teenager, she always noted about how she would try to keep up with her richer classmates and lie/steal from her mom and get into intense romantic relationships with older boys (basically, seeking validation in a chaotic way).

 

[thoughtlost]

You've confused me about whether I'm 4w3 or 4w5. I think it's certainly possible you're 3w4. You do seem to have more image focus, I guess, than I see in myself. But that doesn't necessarily mean that you're a 3, or anything at all, really.

I couldn't find the like button on your post, so I am just going to quote it and tell the world why I liked the post.

Sometimes, it can be a waste of time putting number to a personality. I mean, I think it's much more beautiful to just understand yourself without any kind of system. [MENTION=18559]Inis Mona[/MENTION] may be more image focused and could potentially be a 3, but at the end of the day the numbers don't paint a the beautiful picture that she is.

...this is not to discourage anyone from finding a type (because it is useful in a way) ...this is just me learning about how "ugly" the typing system is.

 

[hjgbujhghg]

It might be just like [MENTION=24479]themightyfetus[/MENTION] said, I relate a lot to the core values and motivations of enneagram type 3 but less to their description, but I think it might be because most of the descriptions work with the fact that 3s are extroverted and often use more judging than perceiving. So I don't fall into the typical ExxJ idea of an enneagram 3.
The truth however is, I do relate to the core values of ennea 4 too, it is very important for me to find myself and be true to my identity, be unique and original which are all typical 4ish desires.

The reasons why I relate to ennea 3:
- I am very success driven, but not in a typical way. I have my own range of things I find as being important for me and I can be very competitive and perfectionistic while doing them.
- I've always wanted to achieve some level of fame and recognition in society and all my actions through life have been influenced by this one desire
- Even though I am an introvert I very much enjoy being at the spotlight, being on stage, to perform or to give speeches. Even as a little kid my teachers made me enter different competitions in recitation, I attended drama club and loved to perform on a stage.
- I care very much about about image and looking good and making sure I give out a clear message of who I am to people is very important
- I believe everyone is a marketing product in a sense and making sure you're a good one is important
- I care alot about what other people think of me, how they perceive me and I very often adapt my behavior to make it fit to other people
- I need affirmation and reaction from other people
- I like to make people react on me, notice me

 

[Tilt]

It might be just like [MENTION=24479]themightyfetus[/MENTION] said, I relate a lot to the core values and motivations of enneagram type 3 but less to their description, but I think it might be because most of the descriptions work with the fact that 3s are extroverted and often use more judging than perceiving. So I don't fall into the typical ExxJ idea of an enneagram 3.
The truth however is, I do relate to the core values of ennea 4 too, it is very important for me to find myself and be true to my identity, be unique and original which are all typical 4ish desires.

The reasons why I relate to ennea 3:
- I am very success driven, but not in a typical way. I have my own range of things I find as being important for me and I can be very competitive and perfectionistic while doing them.
- I've always wanted to achieve some level of fame and recognition in society and all my actions through life has been influenced by this one desire
- Even though I am an introvert I very much enjoy being at the spotlight, being on stage, to perform or to give speeches. Even as a little kid my teachers made me enter different competitions in recitation, I attended drama club and loved to perform on a stage.
- I care very much about much about image and looking good and making sure I give out a clear message of who I am to people is very important
- I believe everyone is a marketing product in a sense and making sure you're a good one is important
- I care alot about what other people think of me, how they perceive me and I very often adapt my behavior to make it fit to other people
- I need affirmation and reaction from other people
- I like to make people react on me, notice me

This all really screams 4 to me. My ISFP 4w3 friend sounds soooo much like you. Her image is an art form. She loves when people acknowledge and compliment when she changes her look or does something uniquely her...she is her own brand: perfectionistic, competitive, masters her work and IMAGE. Remember, 4w3 is "The Performance Artist" while the 3w4 is "The Professional". 4w3s tend to let themselves all out to be true to their identity while 3w4s tend to keep a more contained, polished image in favor of whatever goal, achievement they want to pursue. 4's tend to embrace and explore the darker side of life to be true to their identity while 3's tend to downplay or ignore it until they are forced to deal with it. In general, 4s are very in touch with their identity/emotions, 3s are usually more out of touch with their identity/emotions and try to adapt in order to fulfill whatever role they think is needed to get the job done.

It's not about whether either is successful or artistic but about why and how the behavior manifests.

I relate a lot to the 4s desire for individuality but I have never put a big emphasis on keeping true to my identity because it's always changing and doesn't define me.

 

[fetus]

It might be just like [MENTION=24479]themightyfetus[/MENTION] said, I relate a lot to the core values and motivations of enneagram type 3 but less to their description, but I think it might be because most of the descriptions work with the fact that 3s are extroverted and often use more judging than perceiving. So I don't fall into the typical ExxJ idea of an enneagram 3.
The truth however is, I do relate to the core values of ennea 4 too, it is very important for me to find myself and be true to my identity, be unique and original which are all typical 4ish desires.

The reasons why I relate to ennea 3:
- I am very success driven, but not in a typical way. I have my own range of things I find as being important for me and I can be very competitive and perfectionistic while doing them.
- I've always wanted to achieve some level of fame and recognition in society and all my actions through life has been influenced by this one desire
- Even though I am an introvert I very much enjoy being at the spotlight, being on stage, to perform or to give speeches. Even as a little kid my teachers made me enter different competitions in recitation, I attended drama club and loved to perform on a stage.
- I care very much about much about image and looking good and making sure I give out a clear message of who I am to people is very important
- I believe everyone is a marketing product in a sense and making sure you're a good one is important
- I care alot about what other people think of me, how they perceive me and I very often adapt my behavior to make it fit to other people
- I need affirmation and reaction from other people
- I like to make people react on me, notice me

I think having a 3 wing is very distinct, but not necessarily core 3. I relate to a great deal of what you mentioned, and I have a 3 wing as well. And maybe some of this is Heart center stuff? None of this really discounts 4, IMO.

 

[Virtual ghost]

I don't really know you but your forum persona is much more 4 than 3. (your avatars for example)
3s are very goal driven and I don't sense that in you. 3s even when they are depressed they are good at hidding that. While you on the other hand are pretty "authentic".


Btw. is it truly more likely that you are a 3 or it is more likely that you want to be a 3 ?

I think having a 3 wing is very distinct, but not necessarily core 3. I relate to a great deal of what you mentioned, and I have a 3 wing as well. And maybe some of this is Heart center stuff? None of this really discounts 4, IMO.

This.

 

[hjgbujhghg]

I don't really know you but your forum persona is much more 4 than 3. (your avatars for example)
3s are very goal driven and I don't sense that in you. 3s even when they are depressed they are good at hidding that. While you on the other hand are pretty "authentic".


Btw. is it truly more likely that you are a 3 or it is more likely that you want to be a 3 ?





This.

I was really thinking of being an e 3, but it was more of a playful idea than anything I'd be deeply sure about. I do relate a lot to some of the 3s tendencies, but perhaps it's just the wing. Probably it is.

 

[Virtual ghost]

I was really thinking of being an e 3, but it was more of a playful idea than anything I'd be deeply sure about. I do relate a lot to some of the 3s tendencies, but perhaps it's just the wing. Probably it is.

Well, from what you are showing you have w3, you are So/Sx, feeling dominant (Fi) and you have e7 fix. It would be quite a surprise that you don't relate to e3 at all. (but that does not make you e3)

Just saying.

 

[Bush]

Type 3 - The Achiever
Type Threes work hard to achieve their goals and success. They are good at seeing what's possible and figuring out how to get the job done. They value and know how to make a good impression. Emotionally, Threes contain their feelings and offer a friendly and optimistic face to the world. They have difficulty acknowledging their deeper feelings, and they can overlook the emotional needs of others. Three's absorption in their own pursuits can lead them to overtax themselves and the people around them.

INFP
INFP's are quietly idealistic and interested in being of service to others. They are creative, have quick minds, and are able to see possibilities. They are contemplative and have a well-developed set of principles by which they live. They are loyal and compassionate, but need lots of time alone. They are modest to the point of being self-critical and are sensitive to feeling rejected. They do well when they are acknowledged for their depth of feelings and ideas.​

As a Three, I'd say that the Three description is pretty good. Overtaxing others does happen, and it's not something that most descriptions address. When the Three picks up the workahol, the people around him have to pick up the slack in every other area of life. Bravo for addressing that.

Intuitively, we'd think that an INFP / 3 combination is pretty much impossible. But taking a look at the descriptions, there's no reason why both can't fit at the same time to some degree. Both hate being rejected and want to be accepted, and they're both sensitive in that way. And, as your descriptions say, both see can see possibilities and act upon them.

The only problem in combining these two types is that we're stating that the participant can't find his feelings and that, at the same time, he wants his feelings to be acknowledged.

Here's how I'd reconciled an INFP / E3 result so that it was "not entirely impossible"

Not that it's necessarily true, but

 

[Hawthorne]

I see w3 flamboyance as a mask for 4's deep-seated insecurities. The achievement drive is used as a tool to satisfy a "Tortured Poet" or "Avant Garde Artist" or similar self-perception with w3 taking 4's "I feel/think differently" and adding a "So let me use that to build my identity and stand out" flair.

A 3 core replaces 4's inherent negativity with a neutral "empty" default. Value is derived from action (and the resulting attention) so a 3w2 may try to create that by fostering a "Hate me or love me, but we both know you need me" dependency in others while 3w4 is more likely to take a "I'm the best at what I do. That makes me irreplaceable" untouchable status. It's the spotlight that's the goal and the 4 just changes the way 3 goes about getting and keeping it.

My impression is that identity preoccupies you a little more than status and attention. So I would say 4w3 > 3w4.