á´…eparted
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- Joined
- Jan 25, 2014
- Messages
- 8,265
So first, hi. I've been away for a few weeks.
During my little break, I took the official paid enneagram test out of boredom. These are the results:
Oddly, it lead to me reading descrptions for 1, 3, and 6. From it... it seems like 6 fits better than 1, which bothers the CRAP out of me. Instead of rewriting my thoughts (cause I honestly can't gather them right now). I'll simply post what I wrote at the time and stored until I got back:
So I decided to take the official enneagram test (the paid one, $12) largely out of objective boredom late at night. As anyone would expect, it came out as type 1. The second highest was 8, followed by 6. From here I read about all three of those types as it recommended, and something interesting happened.
...I realized I might be a 6. Why? Because reading the description a lot of it seemed dead on for me, I'll make some quotes from various sections that are absolutely core tennants for who I am:
Before that though, all the below are quotes taken from this page: https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/personality-type-six-the-loyalist/The page on 1's can be found here, though I don't reference anything from it until the end: https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/personality-type-one-the-reformer/
I do not reference it, but here is the 1 vs. 6 page: https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/misidentifying-1-and-6/
"They often get others to like them by joking around and bantering, and through other forms of physical and social bonding. They want to find things about people that are familiar and that they can relate to—looking for common interests and experiences that would be the basis of trust. They tend to get nervous in situations in which they do not know where others stand—where there are too many unknowns, too many unfamiliar elements." -I get REALLY bothered by people where I don't know where they stand. People who purposefully hid their opinions/feelings and positions on issues? I can not get close with them. It renders me unable to read them, and I don't know how to approach or deal with them. I value openness too much.
"Sixes seem like highly organized and responsible people and can often resemble Ones. But the hidden problem is that Sixes are trying to calm their inner anxieties by trying to make their external world trouble-free and predictable." we have a winner. Nearly the entire point of me doing the things I do, is to indeed make the external world predictable, consistent, and problem free. It honestly strikes me as the simply rational thing to do, and it allows me to navigate the world. There isn't really a grand purpose. I mean, it's the right thing to do sure, but I don't get some sort of deep satifaction out of doing "the right thing" in this regard. That's simply what would be expected of me.
"Sixes can be confusing to others (and themselves) in relationships because they seem so changeable and unpredictable." I've been called confusing like this before, because my mood seems to turn on a dime. My mother used to say "there is a Hard-1 and a Hard-2, and it seems like every day it's a wild guess who will be there". Growing up, many teachers said this about me as well.
"In short, Sixes are seeking what psychologists call “optimal distance.†They want to keep their loved ones close enough so that they will not feel abandoned but not so close that they feel engulfed by the other person." - This has been a consistent theme with all of my close friendships. The thing is though, this is just confusing to me. I don't understand why I am this way. It just kinda is.
"Thus, Sixes are habitually on the lookout for potential disasters with the result that their minds are constantly agitated. Ultimately, this can leave them less prepared to deal with real problems because they are making themselves fearful imagining what could go wrong." - Basically yeah. My drive to stop all kinds of stuff is born of a "oh god this could go wrong I must put in all effort to make sure the outcome is good. MUST FIX. MUST BE DONE RIGHT.
"Sixes seldom trust their own minds, their own capacity to know, when they are in the grip of doubt." - Yes. I stop trusting my ability to figure things out when I feel things are no longer in my control or my ability to direct something. Thus, in the desparate desire to know and control, I appeal to something external to myself (often in a collective sense) because that is MUCH less likely to screw up.
"They do not want to be disturbed or bothered by loved ones—they feel that they have been working hard and they experience virtually any kind of interaction as another source of pressure. They will be pleasant one moment, but can suddenly become stubbornly resistant and shut down in the next if they feel that others are demanding something of them. At such times, Sixes become unavailable and passive-aggressive, not wanting to respond to others or to move out of comforting but numbing routines." - Yes, I do this flip-snap things easily. It's very "restrained", but nevertheless there. Auto-piloting helps me a ton.
"They seek consensus before moving ahead with their agendas and they want to feel that others are “with them,†backing them up." - I don't need to explain this. Like, yeah you all know.
"When more insecure, their suspiciousness may lead them to form in-groups and out-groups in the workplace or in other social or societal areas." YUP.
So yeah there you have it.The thing is, if I get right down to it, I do NOT want to be a 6. Period. Just as I do not want to be a 4. Just... no, ew, to both of them. I wonder if I have been blinded to 6 for so long because I just did not want to see myself as one.
The difficulity of all of this, is that when I read through 6, I was like "you know, I really don't think I have issues with trust, security, and all that stuff. The bulk buzzwords and condendsed descriptions just don't quite fit. Maybe I am not being honest though? Perhaps I am just not framed correctly on what security and trust is. Trust is something that is so implicit to me. I can figure out very quickly if I can trust someone or not. That's always been trivial. I also don't obsess over security, at least I don't think. That said, I tend to get needlessly paranoid over what people think of me and if they like me or not. Particularly if I can not tell/read what they are thinking with strong certainty or some sort of objective verification. I get bent out of shape if I can't. Ultimately, 6 sounds much more Fe/Ti, and sounds a lot like inferior Ti.
When I read about 1's, all of the details. It all seemed so Te/Fi, which I just couldn't relate to. Seeing the world and people as morally corrupt? Eh, I can't do anything about that. It's too large of an issue. The bulk statements and coverage of 1's fit me, but the details' less so. A lot of the 1 drives seem to elude to this sort of deep seeded gut emotion or feeling to "do right". I honestly don't have that. My drive to "do right" is basically an axiom. It's a core statement that I have taken, require of myself, because reasons. There isn't anything deep beyond it other than it's "right" and I will simply obey it. It's kinda robotic really. Granted, I do get upset and bent out of shape when things go wrong.
But when I read the 1 page (I don't wanna quote it all), when I look at the breif statement: "In brief, Ones want to be right, to strive higher and improve everything, to be consistent with their ideals, to justify themselves, and to be beyond criticism so as not to be condemned by anyone. Ones do not want to be proven wrong, to make mistakes, to allow sloppiness, to be with people they perceive as lazy or not serious, to be in chaos or in situations that seem out of control, or to be embarrassed by emotional display." That is me DEAD ON. The overview descriptions of 1's are right. The trouble is... my reasons of why that is dead on doesn't seem to come from the deep seated motivations of 1's.
In essence, I'm stuck between 6 and 1, because in different ways they both equally fit, I think. I'm arguing more for 6 here because everyone here already knows about how I see myself as a 1, so spending a lot of time on that is rather wasteful. It seems that I have much more neurotic behaviors of a 6, than I do as a 1, and enneagram appears to be more behavior based.
I ask for your feedback. I would like to settle this. Thanks!
And in some more irony... the reason I don't want to be a 6 is because to me, that feels like I am just a more broken, less desirable, less interesting, and just "worse".
But the bold DEAD on, if not moreso: "In brief, Sixes want to have security, to feel supported by others, to have certitude and reassurance, to test the attitudes of others toward them, to fight against anxiety and insecurity, and to have everything be predictable as a way of defending the self from threats from the environment. Sixes do not want to feel abandoned, to have uncertainty, to have contradictory expectations placed on them, to feel pressured, to have to accept new ideas rapidly, to work with people who they feel are not carrying their weight, or to have their security systems and beliefs questioned, especially by anyone they see as an outsider."
-----------------------------------
Any thoughts would be appreciated. [MENTION=4945]EJCC[/MENTION] per me mentioning I would make a thread on this.
During my little break, I took the official paid enneagram test out of boredom. These are the results:
Oddly, it lead to me reading descrptions for 1, 3, and 6. From it... it seems like 6 fits better than 1, which bothers the CRAP out of me. Instead of rewriting my thoughts (cause I honestly can't gather them right now). I'll simply post what I wrote at the time and stored until I got back:
So I decided to take the official enneagram test (the paid one, $12) largely out of objective boredom late at night. As anyone would expect, it came out as type 1. The second highest was 8, followed by 6. From here I read about all three of those types as it recommended, and something interesting happened.
...I realized I might be a 6. Why? Because reading the description a lot of it seemed dead on for me, I'll make some quotes from various sections that are absolutely core tennants for who I am:
Before that though, all the below are quotes taken from this page: https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/personality-type-six-the-loyalist/The page on 1's can be found here, though I don't reference anything from it until the end: https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/personality-type-one-the-reformer/
I do not reference it, but here is the 1 vs. 6 page: https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/misidentifying-1-and-6/
"They often get others to like them by joking around and bantering, and through other forms of physical and social bonding. They want to find things about people that are familiar and that they can relate to—looking for common interests and experiences that would be the basis of trust. They tend to get nervous in situations in which they do not know where others stand—where there are too many unknowns, too many unfamiliar elements." -I get REALLY bothered by people where I don't know where they stand. People who purposefully hid their opinions/feelings and positions on issues? I can not get close with them. It renders me unable to read them, and I don't know how to approach or deal with them. I value openness too much.
"Sixes seem like highly organized and responsible people and can often resemble Ones. But the hidden problem is that Sixes are trying to calm their inner anxieties by trying to make their external world trouble-free and predictable." we have a winner. Nearly the entire point of me doing the things I do, is to indeed make the external world predictable, consistent, and problem free. It honestly strikes me as the simply rational thing to do, and it allows me to navigate the world. There isn't really a grand purpose. I mean, it's the right thing to do sure, but I don't get some sort of deep satifaction out of doing "the right thing" in this regard. That's simply what would be expected of me.
"Sixes can be confusing to others (and themselves) in relationships because they seem so changeable and unpredictable." I've been called confusing like this before, because my mood seems to turn on a dime. My mother used to say "there is a Hard-1 and a Hard-2, and it seems like every day it's a wild guess who will be there". Growing up, many teachers said this about me as well.
"In short, Sixes are seeking what psychologists call “optimal distance.†They want to keep their loved ones close enough so that they will not feel abandoned but not so close that they feel engulfed by the other person." - This has been a consistent theme with all of my close friendships. The thing is though, this is just confusing to me. I don't understand why I am this way. It just kinda is.
"Thus, Sixes are habitually on the lookout for potential disasters with the result that their minds are constantly agitated. Ultimately, this can leave them less prepared to deal with real problems because they are making themselves fearful imagining what could go wrong." - Basically yeah. My drive to stop all kinds of stuff is born of a "oh god this could go wrong I must put in all effort to make sure the outcome is good. MUST FIX. MUST BE DONE RIGHT.
"Sixes seldom trust their own minds, their own capacity to know, when they are in the grip of doubt." - Yes. I stop trusting my ability to figure things out when I feel things are no longer in my control or my ability to direct something. Thus, in the desparate desire to know and control, I appeal to something external to myself (often in a collective sense) because that is MUCH less likely to screw up.
"They do not want to be disturbed or bothered by loved ones—they feel that they have been working hard and they experience virtually any kind of interaction as another source of pressure. They will be pleasant one moment, but can suddenly become stubbornly resistant and shut down in the next if they feel that others are demanding something of them. At such times, Sixes become unavailable and passive-aggressive, not wanting to respond to others or to move out of comforting but numbing routines." - Yes, I do this flip-snap things easily. It's very "restrained", but nevertheless there. Auto-piloting helps me a ton.
"They seek consensus before moving ahead with their agendas and they want to feel that others are “with them,†backing them up." - I don't need to explain this. Like, yeah you all know.
"When more insecure, their suspiciousness may lead them to form in-groups and out-groups in the workplace or in other social or societal areas." YUP.
So yeah there you have it.The thing is, if I get right down to it, I do NOT want to be a 6. Period. Just as I do not want to be a 4. Just... no, ew, to both of them. I wonder if I have been blinded to 6 for so long because I just did not want to see myself as one.
The difficulity of all of this, is that when I read through 6, I was like "you know, I really don't think I have issues with trust, security, and all that stuff. The bulk buzzwords and condendsed descriptions just don't quite fit. Maybe I am not being honest though? Perhaps I am just not framed correctly on what security and trust is. Trust is something that is so implicit to me. I can figure out very quickly if I can trust someone or not. That's always been trivial. I also don't obsess over security, at least I don't think. That said, I tend to get needlessly paranoid over what people think of me and if they like me or not. Particularly if I can not tell/read what they are thinking with strong certainty or some sort of objective verification. I get bent out of shape if I can't. Ultimately, 6 sounds much more Fe/Ti, and sounds a lot like inferior Ti.
When I read about 1's, all of the details. It all seemed so Te/Fi, which I just couldn't relate to. Seeing the world and people as morally corrupt? Eh, I can't do anything about that. It's too large of an issue. The bulk statements and coverage of 1's fit me, but the details' less so. A lot of the 1 drives seem to elude to this sort of deep seeded gut emotion or feeling to "do right". I honestly don't have that. My drive to "do right" is basically an axiom. It's a core statement that I have taken, require of myself, because reasons. There isn't anything deep beyond it other than it's "right" and I will simply obey it. It's kinda robotic really. Granted, I do get upset and bent out of shape when things go wrong.
But when I read the 1 page (I don't wanna quote it all), when I look at the breif statement: "In brief, Ones want to be right, to strive higher and improve everything, to be consistent with their ideals, to justify themselves, and to be beyond criticism so as not to be condemned by anyone. Ones do not want to be proven wrong, to make mistakes, to allow sloppiness, to be with people they perceive as lazy or not serious, to be in chaos or in situations that seem out of control, or to be embarrassed by emotional display." That is me DEAD ON. The overview descriptions of 1's are right. The trouble is... my reasons of why that is dead on doesn't seem to come from the deep seated motivations of 1's.
In essence, I'm stuck between 6 and 1, because in different ways they both equally fit, I think. I'm arguing more for 6 here because everyone here already knows about how I see myself as a 1, so spending a lot of time on that is rather wasteful. It seems that I have much more neurotic behaviors of a 6, than I do as a 1, and enneagram appears to be more behavior based.
I ask for your feedback. I would like to settle this. Thanks!
And in some more irony... the reason I don't want to be a 6 is because to me, that feels like I am just a more broken, less desirable, less interesting, and just "worse".
But the bold DEAD on, if not moreso: "In brief, Sixes want to have security, to feel supported by others, to have certitude and reassurance, to test the attitudes of others toward them, to fight against anxiety and insecurity, and to have everything be predictable as a way of defending the self from threats from the environment. Sixes do not want to feel abandoned, to have uncertainty, to have contradictory expectations placed on them, to feel pressured, to have to accept new ideas rapidly, to work with people who they feel are not carrying their weight, or to have their security systems and beliefs questioned, especially by anyone they see as an outsider."
-----------------------------------
Any thoughts would be appreciated. [MENTION=4945]EJCC[/MENTION] per me mentioning I would make a thread on this.
As a 4, I can tell you - this is a 4 stress point if I ever saw one 
