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[Traditional Enneagram] Bad Peacemaking 9s?

Hawthorne

corona
Joined
Jan 8, 2015
Messages
1,946
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
So I’m starting to realize and accept that I’m a 9 but there are some things holding me back.

I don’t see myself as necessarily conflict avoidant or the sort of person who would sacrifice something of my own to maintain the peace of environment. In fact, I sometimes do the opposite but usually not without a purpose. I’m also not naturally harmonious, etc, etc and basically, I get the impression that Nines are typically F types which I don’t think I am. I’m hoping those are just broad generalizations and not core aspects of the type though.

Even though my epiphany is fairly recent, looking back I can see a lot of the lines to Six and Three (which I believe is in my tritype) that would seem to confirm that 9 is a good fit for me.
So I guess what I’m asking is, why do all the signs point to Nine and yet, when I go and look up more information about it, I don’t really “see” myself in those descriptions? What nuance might being a 9w8 (or w1. Still not 100% sure but leaning towards 8) with possible 5 and 3 fixes bring to that? How uncommon are sexual first, social last Nines and could that also be contributing to my inability to relate?

Basically, if someone could explain the flavor of this combination to me that would probably help me get over the last hurdle for accepting this typing.

Preemptive thanks much.
 

PeaceBaby

reborn
Joined
Jan 7, 2009
Messages
5,950
MBTI Type
N/A
Enneagram
N/A
[MENTION=4324]Kasper[/MENTION] is an ENTP e9. Perhaps that perspective will be helpful? Also, [MENTION=9310]uumlau[/MENTION] is an INTJ e9.

Also, and there are many INTP e9's here, hoping some of them can jump in and help you out. I can check who's active atm and call a few in if there's not a lot of activity in thread soon.
 

Hawthorne

corona
Joined
Jan 8, 2015
Messages
1,946
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
[MENTION=4324]Kasper[/MENTION] is an ENTP e9. Perhaps that perspective will be helpful? Also, [MENTION=9310]uumlau[/MENTION] is an INTJ e9.

Also, and there are many INTP e9's here, hoping some of them can jump in and help you out. I can check who's active atm and call a few in if there's not a lot of activity in thread soon.

That would be cool. Unfortunately, Google failed to return many links on NT 9s. I did find this interesting article on the oceanmoonshine9 wordpress blog:

Sexual/Self-pres

The energy of the sexual instinct is at odds with the dominant type Nine energy and makes for a conflicted subtype. These Nines can appear to have a stronger connection to Three, for this reason. The assertive fiery energy engages in a constant push-pull with the calm peace-seeking energy of the Nine. This subtype can have an intense relationship with their environment. They are often drawn to solo sports or to an active engagement with nature that involves some risk and exertion. These Nines are drawn to peak experiences. They might enjoy outdoor solo sports or engaging in nature by way of hiking, rock climbing etc.

With the social instinct last in the stacking, there can be an on/off quality when it comes to relating and these Nines are often somewhat moodier than the other subtypes. As with the self-pres/sexual, this subtype might not engage socially with the same smoothness as other subtypes of Nine. They seem to go towards others in a staccato fashion – they connect in bursts, then withdraw.

When it comes to intimate relationships, this subtype can be needy. The merging of the Nine combines with the intensity of the sexual instinct to create a subtype that will always be in danger of losing themselves in a relationship. Their boundaries for themselves and their partner can become blurred which can lead to conflicts. This subtype might have a hard time judging clearly the degree to which they have merged.

I don't think I'm the "fiery" assertive kind of guy. I also don't relate to most of the physicality in the first paragraph but the rest of it is decent and the second is spot on. I don't have a reference point for the third.
 

Hawthorne

corona
Joined
Jan 8, 2015
Messages
1,946
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
Ah, where's a credit funded automated bump when you need one...
 

Frosty

Poking the poodle
Joined
Apr 6, 2015
Messages
12,667
Instinctual Variant
sp
I believe that I am 953 (9w1 5w6 3w2, really not sure on that though), and while I am for the most part not overly fond of conflict, I have found that it sort of is dependent on a few factors, one most pominent, the level of intensity. I am, in a conflict situation, generally consistently weighing the positives and negatives for continuing, what could possibly be gained, is it likely to be worth it, all of that. I will go through some discomfort during a conflict situation if it is something that I really want to explore, and I can get frusterated if the level of heat in a discussion overpowers the meaning of what is being discussed. It is pretty much, if I can have a discussion with someone, and I like to term them discussions not arguments-there is a distinction to me, that does challenge the opponent in a very emotionally uninvolved way then I have no issue with doing so.

I guess it is all a measure of intensity, and to what extent the 9 is willing to sacrifice their level of peacefulness to explore sort of repressed alternatives. And I do suggest that this is very situational for any merging 9.
 

prplchknz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2007
Messages
34,397
MBTI Type
yupp
i keep reading the title of this thread as bad pacemaking 9's which i mean unless you're a biomedical engineer i wouldn't expect you to be good at it. but you are a 9 so you should keep hearts good with your energy in a metaphorical sense, but that's metaphorical and not physical. so though i know this is about peacemaking, i just wanted to tell you that it's ok that you suck at pacemaking don't feel bad about that.
 
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