[Traditional Enneagram] 1's and Anger

[great_bay]

Angry type 1s get excessively hypocritical.

 

[great_bay]

Does anybody not like type 3s? They sound completely selfish to me wanting achievements for the sole reason to make themselves valuable which sounds corrupted.

 

[á´…eparted]

Angry type 1s get excessively hypocritical.

It definitely happens, but it doesn't always happen when they're angry. There's lots of ways it can manifest. I have moments where I am able to see and watch myself being hypocritical as it happens. It can be very hard to stop. Sometimes, because care for it just isn't there. When angry, there is just this burning urge to get it all out and get all down, and trying to avoid hypocriticalness "gets in the way" and slows it all down. There's the sense that everyone should just accept what is being said and done, and sometimes it's actually (stupidly) assumed it will happen.

Does anybody not like type 3s? They sound completely selfish to me wanting achievements for the sole reason to make themselves valuable which sounds corrupted.

I have a rather strong 3 fix which is quite "hidden" from others, for the reason as it feels "corrupted" and I keep it out of public view because I regard it as completely unvirtuous. That said, it's not inheriently bad. If so then you'd see 3's as a lot being bad people and that's certainly not the case.

 

[OrderOfTheCaelifera]

"Anyway, for other 1's, what's your relationship with anger, how do you experience it/release it?"



My anger for others is typically expressed externally, it's similar to a wave washing over me & causing me to feel stressed out at others rather than enraged. It's almost always faded by the next morning unless somebody escalates the issue that caused said anger.

The other half of my anger is much more intense, it's an internalized feeling of self rage. At it's worst it shreds my esteem, leaves me emotionally numbed & causes me to withdraw if I've hurt others.

I let my anger for others go quickly, but I bury my self anger deep inside until I've time to replay things that caused it.
Then I think about my anger, let myself really feel it & process the circumstances pertaining to it. It's easiest to release anger in bursts of rage while I'm working out, but otherwise it's vented in small bundles over time.

 

[Virtual ghost]

I'm starting to notice that I am not all that self aware of my anger, and convince myself that emotions I feel aren't that but instead are annoyance, frustration, irritation, or all kinds of other descriptors that are like anger, but don't carry that label. It's often said that despite feeling angry frequently, 1's suppress this as they regard it as a reprehensible thing to express and therefore makes the individual "bad" to do so. While I don't actively think this, I am noticing that I suppress anger releases against my own will, even when I want to let it out in full force pretty badly. It still comes out, but it's always a controlled leak and ultimately not satisfying and if anything makes things worse.

Does this mean that all those emotions are just a variation of anger ? I mean this is by definition or you made this connection/interpretation yourself ?

I am not asking purely because of my curiosity but because of my 1 fix.

 

[pinkgraffiti]

This is barely even tangentially on topic, and I can't even begin to follow whateverthehell you're trying to say. But, yeah don't bother trying to reexplain it.

LOL

Ps. Im just here for the popcorn...

 

[pinkgraffiti]

Firstly, I'd like to say that I'm glad you've learned to see this aspect of yourself instead of denying it. Much healthier in the long run. (Also makes it less likely that people will tell you you're not a 1. )

Now to move on to the questions in the OP:

What's your relationship with anger?

Love-hate.

Love:
- It fuels me and helps me stay motivated to accomplish my goals. I don't really know how I'd function without it.
- Righteous anger makes doing the right thing feel AMAZING. Best I can describe it is like the difference between how pizza tastes when you're sober and how pizza tastes when you're drunk.

Hate:
- Too much anger is toxic, and a lot of things can anger me -- so out of necessity, I've had to learn how to pick and choose what I allow myself to be angry about. Anything else, I either try to detach from, ignore, or defuse with humor.
- People tend to make me feel guilty whenever I actually release my anger around them. That is rarely, if ever, their intention, but I'm a people-pleaser, and I'm not completely oblivious, so I learned quickly that what the general public wants out of me is emotional consistency and predictability.
- I have been known to act immaturely in situations when anger catches me off guard -- especially situations where I'm unexpectedly and publicly embarrassed, e.g. if I'm doing a group activity and doing poorly at it, or if I am corrected on something I remembered/argued incorrectly in a group -- and reacting to embarrassment by embarrassing myself kind of feels like kicking myself when I'm down.
- Related to the previous point: I am so easily angered by people whose opinions are wrong, that I usually have to be one of the first people to drop out of a debate. Again, not wanting to embarrass myself by throwing a tantrum and saying something like "Well you're a BAD PERSON and should be ASHAMED"...
- If I embrace my anger too much, it turns inward, and I go full 4. Enough said, lol.

How do you experience anger / release it?

It's pretty much always there in some form. If I'm feeling irritated, wary, judgmental, bitter, etc, that all connects to anger. It doesn't feel like a looming cloud, or anything ominous like that. I am aware most of the time that mild irritation, or similar feelings, could magnify exponentially at the drop of a hat, but that doesn't worry me.

I release more mild levels of anger with humor and laughter, most of the time. Medium and high levels, I'll either listen to really loud music, or completely isolate myself from outside noise and stimuli. I might try to reason with myself, or I might take deep breaths and meditate for a couple of minutes, depending on whether I'm angry for good reason, or whether I'm angry because I have a bad attitude and need to put things in perspective.

I made a kind of silly post about my "anger levels" a bit ago, and will re-post it here when I find it.

Wow what an interesting post. I felt I could totally relate up to the point where you say you get anger from embarassment, or doing something wrong. I dont. For me it's not a question of right and wrong, but of fair/unfair, of someone trying to limit my freedom, or somehow not respecting me.
I also couldnt relate when you said that you are always mildly irritated. Im either pensive, or happy, or feeling melancholic. I do feel though when my anger is rising, and usually i give one warning to the person causing it. If they continue, then i lash out in full force. I guess this is the difference between anger in type 1 and (sub)type 8.
Also like you, i see positive things about my anger, like being able to focus. And i was also made to feel embarassed by it. It's in fact the part of my personality i most try to hide and for instance no friend of mine has seen it. I'm afraid of what they would think of me if theydid.

 

[pinkgraffiti]

To me, I find it absolutely mindboggling that people aren't like this. I'm very very moralistic.

Such as today. Several of my friends were hanging out, and they wanted to go to 7-eleven to get free slurpees since today was a promotion they were doing. After going to one, one of my friends suggested "I wonder if there is another 7-eleven we could go to", to which I replied "Nooooo, that's not right. That's extortion. You shouldn't go to another store just to get another free item. That's taking unfair advantage of the promotion, and is effectively stealing if you get right down to it". They pointed out that there was no rule that said you couldn't get another one at another store. To me, I feel that it's obvious you shouldn't. I pay careful attention to unspoken rules, and loathe taking advantage of loopholes. Yet, on we went and they got another slurpee, to which I shook my head over (I didn't get a slurpee at either store).

That to me is funny considering you are an Fe-dom (i'm also surprised to see an Fe-dom type1).
Anyway, to me it that situation you would have irritated me, because it's a rigid rule with no sense that limits the group's fun and freedom. You could have a point, but it's a very superficial outlook, in that by deciding that repeating the promotion is not right, you're not thinking of why it's not right. Meaning: We are probably talking of a medium to large shop that doesnt need your money (capitalism). Plus, that stuff is basically water. So your actions are detrimental to absolutely no one. So it's false moralism. And god i hate those.
[MENTION=6561]OrangeAppled[/MENTION] yes, you are right to point out that the vices of each type lie underneath the surface. Op had actually said it earlier (although you were more eloquent) when Op said he felt constantly in a state of mild irritation, which i found very interesting because id never thought about it in connection to type 1.
Also, do you have a 1 in your tritype? Because i get a different vibe from you than other infps. Ive told you once that i feel intimidated by you. I see you tend to comment on posts as if you are the voice of truth or something, it kinda seems 1ish to me(just an observation, no negative value attached)

 

[á´…eparted]

That to me is funny considering you are an Fe-dom (i'm also surprised to see an Fe-dom type1).
Anyway, to me it that situation you would have irritated me, because it's a rigid rule with no sense that limits the group's fun and freedom. You could have a point, but it's a very superficial outlook, in that by deciding that repeating the promotion is not right, you're not thinking of why it's not right. Meaning: We are probably talking of a medium to large shop that doesnt need your money (capitalism). Plus, that stuff is basically water. So your actions are detrimental to absolutely no one. So it's false moralism. And god i hate those.
[MENTION=6561]OrangeAppled[/MENTION] yes, you are right to point out that the vices of each type lie underneath the surface. Op had actually said it earlier (although you were more eloquent) when Op said he felt constantly in a state of mild irritation, which i found very interesting because id never thought about it in connection to type 1.
Also, do you have a 1 in your tritype? Because i get a different vibe from you than other infps. Ive told you once that i feel intimidated by you. I see you tend to comment on posts as if you are the voice of truth or something, it kinda seems 1ish to me(just an observation, no negative value attached)

Yeah and I'd probably get just as pissed off at you. I'm not thinking? Yeah ok. I don't have the ability or desire to argue right now though since I don't have my computer for a week. Simply put though, you don't understand and I doubt you ever will, whatever. This sounds incredibly patronizing and acusatory in tone though, and is pretty darn unbecoming.

 

[pinkgraffiti]

Yeah and I'd probably get just as pissed off at you. I'm not thinking? Yeah ok. I don't have the ability or desire to argue right now though since I don't have my computer for a week. Simply put though, you don't understand and I doubt you ever will, whatever. This sounds incredibly patronizing and acusatory in tone though, and is pretty darn unbecoming.

There's no need to be defensive, im not attacking you and didnt mean to patronise. Im discussing ideas, they're devoid of feelings for me. Hey, im an ENFP. Relax. We can cut the convo here if youd like. Peace.

 

[á´…eparted]

There's no need to be defensive, im not attacking you and didnt mean to patronise. Im discussing ideas, they're devoid of feelings for me. Hey, im an ENFP. Relax. We can cut the convo here if youd like. Peace.

Fair enough. That's how it came across to me since it's strongly worded with very definitive/terminal statements, but this would not be the first time I misunderstood an Ne dom. No hard feelings.

 

[EJCC]

Wow what an interesting post. I felt I could totally relate up to the point where you say you get anger from embarassment, or doing something wrong. I dont. For me it's not a question of right and wrong, but of fair/unfair, of someone trying to limit my freedom, or somehow not respecting me.
I also couldnt relate when you said that you are always mildly irritated. Im either pensive, or happy, or feeling melancholic. I do feel though when my anger is rising, and usually i give one warning to the person causing it. If they continue, then i lash out in full force. I guess this is the difference between anger in type 1 and (sub)type 8.
Also like you, i see positive things about my anger, like being able to focus. And i was also made to feel embarassed by it. It's in fact the part of my personality i most try to hide and for instance no friend of mine has seen it. I'm afraid of what they would think of me if theydid.

Interesting that you related so much to it. I suppose it makes sense -- my head fix is 7, and it's very strong, to the point that people IRL have typed me as 7 initially, before they got to know me.

The right/wrong vs. fair/unfair sounds REALLY 8-fix, too.

 

[pinkgraffiti]

Fair enough. That's how it came across to me since it's strongly worded with very definitive/terminal statements, but this would not be the first time I misunderstood an Ne dom. No hard feelings.

Yeah i think im not very good at expressing myself. I had even been subtly welcoming and positive about you twice in this thread so i though you'd have noticed that i meant no harm, but i guess i was too subtle. Im either too subtle or too aggressive lol

 

[Virtual ghost]

The reason why I have resurrected this thread is because I am digging through my gut fix since it is the only pary of myself that is not quite clear to me.

Interesting that you related so much to it. I suppose it makes sense -- my head fix is 7, and it's very strong, to the point that people IRL have typed me as 7 initially, before they got to know me.

The right/wrong vs. fair/unfair sounds REALLY 8-fix, too.

You mean right/wrong is version of the story that fits e1 ?

As for your first claim: As a confirmed 1 do you think that a 1 can live their life as some different type since that feels more right to him, while he keeps most of his true self to himself and "special occations" ? (especially if there is a 3 fix)





Also am I wondering if anybody knows why exacty is Te associated with type 1 ? I came across this information a number of times but it seems I am often picturing 1 as a more friendly/emotional type than others do. For example in the case of Hard people say that ENFJ 1 is somewhat unnatural combination while to me this combination is pretty normal/natural. What am I missing here ?
The reason why I have kept my gut fix as a 8w9 for so long is because I saw myself as too unfriendly for anything 1 related.

 

[EJCC]

[MENTION=4347]Virtual ghost[/MENTION]

1) Yes

2) Yes (given a 3 fix)

3) I know about equal numbers of Fe and Te 1s, so I'm not sure.

 

[Redbone]

Interesting thread. My daughter is an INFJ 1. She tends to fixate on poetic justice. She can be really super angry and claim "I'm just frustrated and people aren't getting what they deserve! They are getting away with it! Nothing is being fixed or done right!" She wants to see some punishment dished out and hard at times...impatient..."I want this to happen NOW!!!!" And she becomes even more frustrated with having to work within proper channels or by a process to get these things done...oh, sorry...I am referring to some personal difficulties we/she are facing. But the reminder of having to do things this way only adds fuel to her anger.

I'm just glad that girl doesn't have a bucket of thunderbolts.

 

[EJCC]

Interesting thread. My daughter is an INFJ 1. She tends to fixate on poetic justice. She can be really super angry and claim "I'm just frustrated and people aren't getting what they deserve! They are getting away with it! Nothing is being fixed or done right!" She wants to see some punishment dished out and hard at times...impatient..."I want this to happen NOW!!!!" And she becomes even more frustrated with having to work within proper channels or by a process to get these things done...oh, sorry...I am referring to some personal difficulties we/she are facing. But the reminder of having to do things this way only adds fuel to her anger.

I'm just glad that girl doesn't have a bucket of thunderbolts.

This sounds EXACTLY like my INFJ 1 mom. Especially the bolded.

 

[Virtual ghost]

The reason why I have resurrected this thread is because I am digging through my gut fix since it is the only pary of myself that is not quite clear to me.

Lately I did a lot of soul searching and I think that I will call off the whole 1w9 fix experiment for me and return to 8w9 fix. The truth is that I became 1w9 but that was not natural.
The fact is that lately education has forced me to become more "correct" since I did not have a room for mistakes. Also I was loosing grades purely because of my bluntness (and 5-8-3 types are kings of bluntness) and therefore it seems that my 3 fix decided to override certain parts of me. (after all I do believe in the end justifies the means). The whole problem got even more serious since feelers around me like me more as a 1 than 8 since they do not appreciate my direct unfeeling verbalisations. Plus since I am trying to develop relations with opposite gender I have accepted the game.


However the whole deal is killing me litteraly. My core is 5 for sure and it needs to steam off through the integration to 8. However if that pipe gets closed due to repression of energy/anger my core has nowhere to go and I am often stressed for no good reason or I verbalize what I am actually thinking even less. Because of this my creativity is also dropping and I am starting to act as a mindless bureaucrat that is inventing rules for the sake of rules ... and because of that I am sinking into OCD waters.



Therefore I will just kill the whole thing in the root and be myself again and if someone asks what happned to my tritype here is the answer.

 

[Redbone]

This sounds EXACTLY like my INFJ 1 mom. Especially the bolded.

How often do the two of you see eye-to-eye about things?

I admit that I'm often in agreement with her on things but just not so...so...hard. She's still very young--a teen, so maybe she will soften with age and experience. I'm probably too eager to make exceptions for people and she's probably too unwilling to do the same but we still often feel the same distress. 1 and 4 reflecting the other.

 

[Mal12345]

Does this mean that all those emotions are just a variation of anger ? I mean this is by definition or you made this connection/interpretation yourself ?

I am not asking purely because of my curiosity but because of my 1 fix.

You've posted your tritype as 583, no 1 fix there.