[Traditional Enneagram] Things you'd like to say to most people of type __

[OrangeAppled]

I said this to my e9 friend once, not realizing it was eye-opening for her:

"Peace without any sense of personal fulfillment means little. I'd rather have some anxiety and strife, but have meaning and purpose in life."

Her eyes got really wide....it never occurred to me this could be profound to her. Funny how simple things others realize easily can seem so novel and perspective-changing for us at times. People have told me very simple things that really shook me up for the better.

One of these was: "You have the power to make others feel significant".
That was really powerful in helping me open up and reach out to others more, as I tended to see myself as something insignificant and perhaps unpleasant even, a burden... but in avoiding people, I was actually making them feel that way too, like they weren't cool/good/important enough for me to bother with.

 

[1487610420]

 

[LonestarCowgirl]

1 You set the standard, pushed me to prudence, and prepared me for real life. It's impossible not to respect and admire you.

4 You have a one-of-a-kind gift of deep. You understand me when no one else can.

6 You saved the day! Your devotion to a project and supportive insight are much appreciated.

7 Please come back. We need you to diffuse the negative energy here.

 

[iHeartCats]

3's:Relax, the world does not so much care for the individual that their eyes may focus solely upon your achievements nor your failed attempts. Perhaps try to keep it natural sometimes.
8's:To me you recall the Lion King and I know why yet not really.
5's:I have no idea why I have crossed paths with not one of you in real life but I would like to perhaps change that being that you seem to be mobile libraries and that seems almost unutterably intriuging.

As a vain type 3, of course I only care about how you described my type.
358
A self-absorbed mobile library Lion King
Sounds kind of badass. :>
*Reminds me of Tywin Lannister....Could it be? :')

 

[Glint]

Dear nines... you are wonderful people and I enjoy being around you, but PLEASE take a moment to observe and think for yourself about what and why you're doing with your life... things may seem like they are in a comforting rhythm now, but do you honestly think this will last forever? You need a contingency plan!

 

[NK258]

Dear 8's.

You're the one type that excels the most in helping me feel safe. And you're the one type who doesn't like me most as a Sx Dom 6(cp reactive) because you misperceive me terribly.

And while I've met a few of you(or rather 9w8's who think they're 8's) and those people's 2-faced duplicity, by and large, I love 8's.

I want to make you sandwiches with the crust cut off or in triangle shapes with a Gatorade and fruit snacks for your lunch or bake you cookies and stuff and suff. But you guys don't like me much. Because when I get scared I act out and I'm spazzy and it irritates you because you think I'm challenging you.

That's all.

 

[NK258]

Dear 4's

You guys are kinda mean. You're not very nice and don't think of other people as they are. Only in how you want to see them for you. and yet, you think you see people.

And. You're massochistic to a crazy degree sometimes. Please. PLEASE don't create scenarios where you put other people in the seat of sadism to get your jollies off. It's not fair. Not everyone gets off in being involved in toxic or shitty relationships.

P.S. My closest friend is a 4. You guys have amazing qualities and are amazing people. Of course AFTER you get over yourselves and accept that people like you as you are, and not how you want to see yourself. See the theme there?

Yes. I know. You all hate me now. My apologies if you feel that way.

 

[Qlip]

Dear INFJ 6w7's,

We kinda know that about ourselves.

No worries.

Q.

 

[Pionart]

I said this to my e9 friend once, not realizing it was eye-opening for her:

"Peace without any sense of personal fulfillment means little. I'd rather have some anxiety and strife, but have meaning and purpose in life."

I once said "Life is conflict. War is the way, peace is an illusion."

I wonder what this means for me as a 9...

 

[OrangeAppled]

I once said "Life is conflict. War is the way, peace is an illusion."

I wonder what this means for me as a 9...

But I think viewing life in terms of that dichotomy - peace or war - is the problem. Lack of "peace" or stillness is not necessarily "war". Viewing it in terms of the dichotomy is what can make 9s go still, so to speak, thinking that is the way to peace and fulfillment, as if anything else would be "war".

 

[Chad of the OttomanEmpire]

Her eyes got really wide....it never occurred to me this could be profound to her. Funny how simple things others realize easily can seem so novel and perspective-changing for us at times. People have told me very simple things that really shook me up for the better.

This is really good. For all we talk about "Lines of Integration" in enneagram theory, I think the larger idea--and one that no one ever mentions--is that each type contributes something. We all have lessons to learn from each other.

In my own case, some of the best lessons about life I've taken from a 6. Eye opening perspectives, even if it's my head-fix.

 

[Raffaella]

Nines: Release your anger as it comes, you'll be surprised how great it feels. You'll also come to realise that passivity is overrated. Deal with it, NOW. There really is a elegant simplicity to you but that doesn't encompass your ability to avoid conflicts.

 

[EJCC]

Dear 1s : Are you sure you always do the right thing? Never do the wrong thing? Do you realise giving people harsh critics is the wrong thing? It's okay to tell someone if they make mistake and criticise 'em, but please never give 'em harsh critics. Give 'em constructive critics instead cz not all people can handle critics. There are ppl who is too sensitive with criticism. Give critics softly and warmly if you wanna give criticism for people. For example start with "You did an almost good job, but (point their mistakes softly and warmly). We're only human, and humans sometimes do the wrong thing, whether they realise it or not. I didn't tell you to stop criticize people, because criticism is still good for people to help 'em improve. I just tell you to change your way to criticise people. You can be role model for people because of your desire to do the right thing. That's what I like from you. But all people make mistakes, includes you and me. Nobody's perfect.

Plenty of 1s already follow your advice. Sounds like you've had a bad experience with one or two 1s in particular, who aren't representative of the general whole.

1's: I fall on the other side of truth from you and sometimes it's frustrating-- I value the authentic, you value the correct, and oh what a sea lies between the two. You could do so much good if you could only get your hands dirty, and see clearly in the mirror. The most painful irony with you, is that you think discernment is turning a blind eye to your own filth. In reality, true discernment requires first to see one's own mess.

Healthy 1s are a lot less hypocritical, IME, in that they actually DO turn their perfectionism inward. Problem is, the focus is still on making things perfect, or as perfect as possible. No way to avoid that except to acknowledge that the best you can do is ALMOST meet your mark -- ALMOST be perfect. Since perfection is impossible (and boring).

1 - I get terrified when I see your type repress their anger. It's like a ticking time bomb where the time changes in accordance to your ability to control your anger at that moment. Scary shit, yo. At least with the 8s, you know when they'll blow up, with you, it's a mystery. I don't know whether to run or continue.

Not sure how 1s would fix that. Best I can say is what [MENTION=20829]Hard[/MENTION] said, i.e. that most likely you'll never see us actually blow up. Most you'll likely see is maybe one shouted phrase (followed by an apology), or a really heated discussion/argument about something impersonal.

1's:Your quest for righteousness is an admirable one, and in some ways I can understand. However, fear of failure is a failure in itself in that it impedes upon improvement. Don't be so hard on yourself, failures are stepping stones.

This is really nice -- like the verbal equivalent of a back massage.

 

[Raffaella]

Not sure how 1s would fix that. Best I can say is what [MENTION=20829]Hard[/MENTION] said, i.e. that most likely you'll never see us actually blow up. Most you'll likely see is maybe one shouted phrase (followed by an apology), or a really heated discussion/argument about something impersonal.

It's very bizarre to me because unlike, 8s and 9s, who express their anger during times of stress, you can see 1s physically repress theirs. Fascinating, it really shows how self-controlled you are (or at least, try to be).

 

[EJCC]

It's very bizarre to me because unlike, 8s and 9s, who express their anger during times of stress, you can see 1s physically repress theirs. Fascinating, it really shows how self-controlled you are (or at least, try to be).

Yeah exactly. If we were experts at self-control, then no one would ever know that dirty little secret.

 

[Haven]

Hey 9s... hey

hey.. *poke*



hey *pokepoke*


HEY