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[Traditional Enneagram] 5, how do you deal with your emotions

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Aug 25, 2014
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This question has intrigued me, how do 5s generally experience and reflect on their emotions? I have this odd habit of rationalizing them, then analyzing them by "dissecting" to understand their origin (linked with the idea of detachment in 5s). Although I think it doesn't enable me to fully experience them.

Looking forward to replies with enthusiasm :)
 
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Coriolis

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This question has intrigued me, how do 5s generally experience and reflect on their emotions? I have this odd habit of rationalizing them, then analyzing them by "dissecting" to understand their origin (linked with the idea of detachment in 5s). Although I think it doesn't enable me to fully experience them.
I try to run them to ground also, by figuring out the cause. This is usually enough to diffuse them. I probably don't experience them fully, but just as well. The alternative has always seemed far worse.
 

tanstaafl28

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This question has intrigued me, how do 5s generally experience and reflect on their emotions? I have this odd habit of rationalizing them, then analyzing them by "dissecting" to understand their origin (linked with the idea of detachment in 5s). Although I think it doesn't enable me to fully experience them.

Looking forward to replies with enthusiasm :)


I've pretty much gotten to the point where I am not entirely sure I remember what emotions feel like. I seem to recall as a child having some sort of sensations in the pit of my stomach that I don't appear to experience anymore. I'm pretty sure that they "sneak up on me" at times, but on a regular day-to-day basis, I honestly don't notice any physiological indications that I am feeling much of anything. That sort of makes me wonder how it would feel to be constantly flooded with emotions all the time.
 

Glint

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I definitely analyze my emotions. I never act on them without first trying to understand what brought about my current feeling(s), and any conclusions/implications I can draw from them. If it seems illogical or I don't like where they're coming from (lol), then I ignore them.
 

brainheart

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This question has intrigued me, how do 5s generally experience and reflect on their emotions? I have this odd habit of rationalizing them, then analyzing them by "dissecting" to understand their origin (linked with the idea of detachment in 5s). Although I think it doesn't enable me to fully experience them.

At my core, I'm a very emotional type. But I find myself doing this 5 dissection/detachment pretty soon after my emotions start to feel 'strong.' It frustrates the hell out of me because I often feel like I've defused them before I can use them to create art. By the time I've externalized them, it often comes out like, "Well, I was feeling this due to this and this, etc" which makes for a pretty dry presentation. Arg. (That's why it's often better for me to express my feelings in visual art over my natural inclination toward language because it's less rational that way.)
 

AphroditeGoneAwry

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yo. not sure i'm a 5 but i just tested highly for it on that enneagram test post.

can you help me figure it out?

i usually notice i am feeling icky in my stomach when something hurtful/bad has happened. i remember always doing this, even as a child. after i notice the yucky feeling has been around for, say, 5 to 15 minutes usually, i then think to myself, "self, what happened 5 to 15 minutes ago to bother me?" and i can then trace it back to the said event.

then i can start processing the event. i usually somehow externalize this part of it. when i was little, i would talk out loud to myself to work it out. now i usually engage a friend to help me. this part of the process takes about 15 to 30 mins for a minor trigger/issue, and up to days or weeks for bigger issues.

any feedback?
 

Mal12345

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It depends on the emotion. I allow myself to feel positive emotions, but I don't act on them. Negative ones I am forced to feel, but I express them only in imagination and then I analyze them. I think the latter is a mistake because it doesn't resolve any emotions but keeps them pent up. None of the answers to either problem (not expressing positive emotions, or keeping negative emotions pent up) is to be found in JCF or MBTI or any other typology.
 

Rambling

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It depends on the emotion. I allow myself to feel positive emotions, but I don't act on them. Negative ones I am forced to feel, but I express them only in imagination and then I analyze them. I think the latter is a mistake because it doesn't resolve any emotions but keeps them pent up. None of the answers to either problem (not expressing positive emotions, or keeping negative emotions pent up) is to be found in JCF or MBTI or any other typology.

I'm reading a great book by Pennebaker called Opening Up: the healing power of expressing emotions. He has so much useful stuff about processing emotions and in particular traumatic events such as bereavement or traumas. Basically talking or writing about traumas makes a person feel worse at the time but makes them measurably healthier six months down the line; bottling things up is bad for your health. And the best processing occurs where emotions and events are both discussed as this makes cross links in the brain. I've not finished reading it but it's great so far.

What would acting on positive emotions look like, to you?
 

Mal12345

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I'm reading a great book by Pennebaker called Opening Up: the healing power of expressing emotions. He has so much useful stuff about processing emotions and in particular traumatic events such as bereavement or traumas. Basically talking or writing about traumas makes a person feel worse at the time but makes them measurably healthier six months down the line; bottling things up is bad for your health. And the best processing occurs where emotions and events are both discussed as this makes cross links in the brain. I've not finished reading it but it's great so far.

What would acting on positive emotions look like, to you?

I don't know, but I'll certainly think about it.
 

Rambling

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I don't know, but I'll certainly think about it.

I try to smile a lot, laugh a lot, that kind of thing. Saying thank you to people for any small thing is also a good way of drip feeding positive emotions out. Or describing why I like something or when something works well, that kind of thing.
For the negative ones, I will often attach the negative emotion to a more trivial 'carrier' reason, so I might get openly cross with the photocopier machine at work but underneath I'm expressing an anger about some other issue. Or if I'm sad or distracted I will let myself be that way, within reason, rather than forcing myself to look happy and jolly other people along.
 

Mal12345

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I try to smile a lot, laugh a lot, that kind of thing. Saying thank you to people for any small thing is also a good way of drip feeding positive emotions out. Or describing why I like something or when something works well, that kind of thing.
For the negative ones, I will often attach the negative emotion to a more trivial 'carrier' reason, so I might get openly cross with the photocopier machine at work but underneath I'm expressing an anger about some other issue. Or if I'm sad or distracted I will let myself be that way, within reason, rather than forcing myself to look happy and jolly other people along.

Is Happiness the only positive emotion? How about Sympathy or Empathy?
 

indra

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[MENTION=16139]Honor[/MENTION] thinks I use sex and videogames as a means of escapism from how my mind works.
 

Rambling

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Is Happiness the only positive emotion? How about Sympathy or Empathy?

Empathy via Fi is whatever emotion the other person is emitting. Can be painful and is usually intense for me. I don't get a choice on what that is, it's intuitive. Sympathy is Fe I think, I can say the right things without intuitive Fe but from social skills, but again it's usually more difficult situations which draw those out.

Positive emotions: happiness, joy, passion, enthusiasm, cheerfulness, singing along to music, gratitude for a gift, thankfulness, appreciation of beauty feeling cherished or loved, hugging, optimism, relief, there are loads of them I think...
 

Mal12345

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Empathy via Fi is whatever emotion the other person is emitting. Can be painful and is usually intense for me. I don't get a choice on what that is, it's intuitive. Sympathy is Fe I think, I can say the right things without intuitive Fe but from social skills, but again it's usually more difficult situations which draw those out.

Positive emotions: happiness, joy, passion, enthusiasm, cheerfulness, singing along to music, gratitude for a gift, thankfulness, appreciation of beauty feeling cherished or loved, hugging, optimism, relief, there are loads of them I think...

Can crying be caused by a positive emotion?
 

Honor

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[MENTION=16139]Honor[/MENTION] thinks I use sex and videogames as a means of escapism from how my mind works.

And from unsettling questions about the functioning of the universe, boredom on the job, the stress of trying not to punch people, and various other forms of turbulence in life. :hug:
 

Rambling

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Can crying be caused by a positive emotion?

Tears of joy for a notification on TypC? Of course someone can cry when overwhelmed with happiness or a positive event such as a baby's birth or a win in a competition or a game. Or when someone understands you, or trusts you or opens up to you or cares for you or for someone who is important to you ...yeah, all kinds of things can be positive but make people cry. Sure. But I'm Fi and I don't express feelings like crying much, so I could be crying for joy inside me and yet it wouldn't be visible.
 

Mal12345

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Tears of joy for a notification on TypC? Of course someone can cry when overwhelmed with happiness or a positive event such as a baby's birth or a win in a competition or a game. Or when someone understands you, or trusts you or opens up to you or cares for you or for someone who is important to you ...yeah, all kinds of things can be positive but make people cry. Sure. But I'm Fi and I don't express feelings like crying much, so I could be crying for joy inside me and yet it wouldn't be visible.

Did you mean to say you're Fi or Ni?
 

Rambling

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Did you mean to say you're Fi or Ni?

I meant Fi, as it's my tertiary function and introverted feeling doesn't express itself openly, being tied to the self innerly.
 

Rambling

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Only if you want so

You are ESTP which is Se Ti Fe Ni. Therefore your cognitive functions are different from mine as an INTJ. Mine are Ni Te Fi Se.

The difficulty I have with expressing feelings openly would perhaps be similar to the difficulty a Ti user has in explaining every step of their thinking process, as I understand how the cognitive functions work.
 
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