[Traditional Enneagram] holy shiz i really am a 9 :/

[Kasper]

weird...i totally don't feel angry at all. i think it usually registers as mildly annoyed.

i don't think i'm social first tho....i'll look into how it plays out in 9's tho...but still think not...i'd still guess maybe sx/so if it's not still sx/sp...i feel very sx...and feel passionate and intense...and if 9 isn't that it would have to be the sxness.

but i thought i was distracting when i was stressed but really i do think it's more of a standing still daydreaming...or escaping into my own world of ideas.

Pay attention to the annoyance, does it result in resentment and resistance? If so ponder if you feel dismissed as those are things that for a 9 come from anger. I've never met a 9 who did not at some point claim to not feel angry, I've also not met a 9 who does not experience anger.

I would suspect Sx/So as well, fwiw. Whatever the case I would think Sp last.

 

[Lady_X]

Pay attention to the annoyance, does it result in resentment and resistance? If so ponder if you feel dismissed as those are things that for a 9 come from anger. I've never met a 9 who did not at some point claim to not feel angry, I've also not met a 9 who does not experience anger.

I would suspect Sx/So as well, fwiw. Whatever the case I would think Sp last.

yeah it does...it doesn't happen often but man dating a super freakin independent type 4 who doesn't always check in with me about shit...annoys the shit out of me haha and yes i get pissy and just push him away when he doesn't do it right. omg haha

however...i don't feeeel angry...much haha

 

[Starry]

no really...my thoughts forever were like....do i even have a 9 fix??? because i am not someone without a clear identity. i know who the hell i am!! like deep passionate knowing...right? and...i'm no doormat...i confront issues! i don't care so much about keeping the peace that i'll not speak up!

^^I relate to all of the above. I'll add though that 9 sx are not "conflict avoidant" either. <-But I'll add to that add that many 7w6s are conflict avoidant. So this is all not helpful Starry.

but...reading that that i read the other night...i was like holy freakin hell...i do just go numb...i do become immobilized...i do become one with things...the environment...music...the ambiance of an experience...i do most often feel serene...i do let everyone be exactly who they are...i can put up with peoples difficult personality quirks. i will...and so often do put everyone first...why do i do this?? idk... it feels like because i just don't care...or...it's fine...i'm fine..

^^I relate to all of the above here as well. I could easily attribute most of it to sx-merging as opposed to 9-merging but I'm keeping an open mind. For me I actually prefer difficult people...challenging people. I love quirks. I see quirks as interesting so that to me is 7...but with challenging people comes a level of honesty and authenticity that I greatly appreciate but it's practical in my life as well. I'm enjoying the experience man. And I don't want to worry about trying to read social shit...being put into a position where I need to try and guess if someone's mad or hurt or disappointed. When I'm around someone that will just say outright to me...what they want...how they feel it is calming to me.

And at the same exact time I'm super flexible and in this way it is easy for me to put others first. I'm going to have just as much fun at the laundry mat as I am at the house party so...what do you want to do?

disintegrating to 6 makes sense ...even integrating to 3 makes sense..

This I don't get though. I mean, I get relating to 6 (6 will become exaggerated under stress for a 7w6.) But what do you relate to with regards to 3?

i do not seek out activity and experience after experience...i do not feel the least bit materialistic...i do not feel the least bit selfish or egotistical...i don't feel as tho i'm one who talks all the time about all the cool things i'm doing and am a shit listener...i actually do not talk much at all. i don't like to. i stumble over my words....and get bored of hearing myself talk...i try to condense my words so i don't have to bend peoples ear too long. i hate being in the spotlight conversationally...hate for people to ask me lots of questions...i very often want to be left alone. i like asking people about themselves...i like engaging with others...but it doesn't need to be mutual in terms of attention...i prefer it not to be...i don't like being sought out....i resent it sort of...after too much.

just...there's a lot...help me hash it out?

Okay I relate to all of the above here as well...which is all 7 sx in my mind. We're more introverted you know right? We escape in our minds. And this is why we don't experience boredom. With regards to the other post I saw...I am literally never bored. Pretty much everything is interesting to me. I sometimes just completely zone out and am having a very nice time haha.

 

[Lady_X]

you're so not helping!!!!

 

[uumlau]

Kasper has an important point there about the annoyance. It goes way deeper and more resentful than you might think, and will erupt from you without warning at the absolute worst time. I was with a type 4 for several years, and I really hadn't realized how much resentment I'd built up: I was happy, and I wanted to stay happy, so I ignored the resentment. I suspect that resentment was in part responsible for our break-up. In part what I needed to do was draw stronger boundaries and not let the other person get away with particular behaviors, and if that resulted in arguments and if that resulted in a break-up sooner, that would actually be for the good. Why? Because if a type 9 is standing up for boundaries at all, then they are very likely extremely reasonable boundaries with a lot of thought behind them, because the 9 had to develop the courage to confront about them in the first place. And if those boundaries are too much for the other person, then it really isn't going to work out, and you're just finding out sooner, is all.

 

[Lady_X]

oh also...type 3 shit...just...professionally with work stuffs i'm like hell yeah i'm going to rock this shit! i don't know man...i get very motivated...haha

i can't get the words out anymore...i should be asleep already.

 

[BlackCat]

yes...i stress less about money or any sort of major life component than anyone else i know. and reading that 9's sort of have this magical type thinking like it will all just work out...that just resonates...i do just do what i can and not stress much about the things that i can't fix yet.

not sure about instincts yet but are you saying you think i'm sx/so?

Yes you come off very much sx/so from this. I am sx/sp and I worry a lot about physical things and money, but it's not my main motivator for sure. I very much hold a similar viewpoint though! I don't worry about things I can't fix, because it creates too much negativity in my life. I tend to get these gut feelings that things will work out and then they do... but I am always motivated by some force that feels like it's outside of me. And things tend to go okay. If that makes sense.

 

[Lady_X]

Kasper has an important point there about the annoyance. It goes way deeper and more resentful than you might think, and will erupt from you without warning at the absolute worst time. I was with a type 4 for several years, and I really hadn't realized how much resentment I'd built up: I was happy, and I wanted to stay happy, so I ignored the resentment. I suspect that resentment was in part responsible for our break-up. In part what I needed to do was draw stronger boundaries and not let the other person get away with particular behaviors, and if that resulted in arguments and if that resulted in a break-up sooner, that would actually be for the good. Why? Because if a type 9 is standing up for boundaries at all, then they are very likely extremely reasonable boundaries with a lot of thought behind them, because the 9 had to develop the courage to confront about them in the first place. And if those boundaries are too much for the other person, then it really isn't going to work out, and you're just finding out sooner, is all.

yes you're right...i know you're right. fuck 4s man haha no i'm jk for real but really...yeah total waste of everyones time otherwise. i'm with ya

 

[Lady_X]

Yes you come off very much sx/so from this. I am sx/sp and I worry a lot about physical things and money, but it's not my main motivator for sure. I very much hold a similar viewpoint though! I don't worry about things I can't fix, because it creates too much negativity in my life. I tend to get these gut feelings that things will work out and then they do... but I am always motivated by some force that feels like it's outside of me. And things tend to go okay. If that makes sense.

okay...interesting...i am totally down with possibly being 9 sx so...so on it's own didn't feel right but maybe the 9 style would...does?? idk thankya

 

[Starry]

you're so not helping!!!!

haha. This might though as I just thought of this.

I was just writing in a different thread that I do relate to Clementine (Eternal Sunshine Clementine) when she says in that movie that she feels like she's "coming out of her skin." I can get agitated like that. It's not boredom though...in fact it's the opposite of boredom. It's like too much static or something idk. I'm off my flow and yes I am wanting something to shift so I can go back to feeling life's joy and meaning again.

 

[Starry]

Yes you come off very much sx/so from this. I am sx/sp and I worry a lot about physical things and money...

Oh what? Blackcat..do I seem sx/sp? I don't feel like I worry enough about physical things. I would do anything it seems if I could just get myself to care about money and material items.

 

[Lady_X]

sure i relate to that too...it's a restlessness. i get that way too...sort of just wanting or craving something new in my life...some new adventure or twist in the path...yes...i do...but as often as a core 7...i'm not sure. it feels as tho it takes quite awhile to get there...maybe...perhaps..

 

[Lady_X]

Oh what? Blackcat..do I seem sx/sp? I don't feel like I worry enough about physical things. I would do anything it seems if I could just get myself to care about money and material items.

that type 7 description i read was just all about being a materialistic sensation experience junky person when in moderate to low health levels.

 

[Starry]

that type 7 description i read was just all about being a materialistic sensation experience junky person when in moderate to low health levels.

That's Riso & Hudson right? Not a fan of theirs really. Tom Condon gives the title of "Bohemian" (<-that is not spelled correctly is it...) to the 7w6 sx.

 

[BlackCat]

Oh what? Blackcat..do I seem sx/sp? I don't feel like I worry enough about physical things. I would do anything it seems if I could just get myself to care about money and material items.

Well that is ultimately up to you to decide... Maybe it could be sensotardation or maybe it could be sp last. You know you better than I do if you consider yourself a 9, maybe open yourself to the possibility of being sx/so? I think some people get so fixated on being "antisocial" or not really being a social butterfly that they don't consider that they could be anything other than social last.

 

[Thalassa]

but wasn't she isfp or something? i like to resolve stuff and can't function well when my relationship is off.

9s avoid avoid avoid...even if it's by distracting. When I used to argue with a certain 9w1 he would basically try to change the subject even if he had.been really petty or mean he did NOT want to talk it out but rather, let us just go back to normal...he was an Si dom and I think blithely shifting back to normal or routine might be the case there. I remember being flabbergasted by it, him wanting to still talk to me, but changing the subject like nothing happened. He also utilized things like cold stubbornness or pretending to just not care.

You could be a nine though. You seem really "nice."

 

[Starry]

Well that is ultimately up to you to decide... Maybe it could be sensotardation or maybe it could be sp last. You know you better than I do if you consider yourself a 9, maybe open yourself to the possibility of being sx/so? I think some people get so fixated on being "antisocial" or not really being a social butterfly that they don't consider that they could be anything other than social last.

Yah thank you Blackcat. I don't consider myself antisocial when it comes to individuals but I lose my mind when it comes to unwarranted power, misused authority, absurd social structures and of course bullshit haha. I don't think I'm a 9. And I am definitely a full-sensotard. I don't really know what I'm saying here but I will put more thought into what you have said.

 

[Starry]

Marms here

 

[Thalassa]

Not that I wouldn't welcome you to the 9-camp. But anger has to really paralyze you interiorly, be the hardest thing to express externally.

Like the fucking icecapades!

I do think the "nice "'or mediation thing is overplayed, because that's only healthy or mature 9s. Immature or unhealthy 9s shut down, avoid, escape, become stubborn and passive aggressive, a one wing can lead to nitpicking, an eight wing to outbursts...

 

[Riva]

There are so many hahas in this thread.

If i had asperges i'd be so confused right now trying to figure out what's so funny.