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[Traditional Enneagram] holy shiz i really am a 9 :/

Lady_X

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[MENTION=5418]Lady_X[/MENTION]
if you are a 9, you are likely Sx/So as opposed to Sx/Sp. Social 9s are the most upbeat and active of the 9s (Chestnut gives them the theme of Participation) and can look a lot like 7s.

congratulations on finding your type (I have been reconsidering my own 7 status, so it seems I'm not alone :alltongue: ). what cued you off to make the switch?

ughh...boyfriend issues yet again...his type 4 shit is a lot. so i was reading about it and holy shit it was accurate. completely inconsistent emotionally. ughh


then i read mine...or 7 and was like this one sucks so much. how is this one so poorly written when his was spot on.

and...decided...maybe it's because it just doesn't really fit.

so i read 9...and really all was able to see how it was a closer fit....i relate to aspects of both but if i am a 7 i'd be like on health level one and have always been pretty healthy...but when reading 9 i could see that i'm often very healthy but could also relate to the lower levels of health...or realize how things could end up that way if i weren't careful. which to me makes more sense that one should be able to relate to all of it....

and....i do feel very happy most times...but it is more sort of serene then elated.
i do feel like i merge with people...a lot.. i felt that was just sxness..
i don't get bored with people any more than i get bored with myself...because people become parts of me...

i don't feel like i bend to people but maybe i do?? if i really look at it...maybe i really fucking do??
 

Lady_X

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The way I've been experiencing this site lately...it makes perfect sense that X is a mistyped 7. Congrats on 9 X. I'm glad you found your correct type.

what does that mean??
 

Lady_X

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I wouldn't think of you as unhealthy-conflict-avoidant, but you have a way to reducing conflict in the pocket around you just by being there. I don't even know how I could fight with you about something, even if I wanted to! :blush: You just kind of naturally defang conflict and reduce tension by who you are.

aww thankya that's a really interesting way to put it...like maybe I'm not even aware that I'm affecting conflict by the way i behave...interesting
 

Lady_X

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So when will we be hearing on whether it's a wing 1 or wing 8? :smile:

Haha this i don't know yet...I'm not even cozy with 9 yet...feels weird.
 

Lady_X

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Oh! Congrats [MENTION=5418]Lady_X[/MENTION], I think it's awesome that you had that realization! I love that you said "...I've avoided type 9 forever because I didn't feel conflict avoidant...", forgive me but that's hilarious and awesome confirmation IMO. :D

One of the "aha" keys I've found with people accurately typing as 9's is realizing why they avoid conflict-- to avoid separation. If 7's avoid conflict, it's because they don't want to examine their own thoughts and feelings.

I've also found a really random common thread with 9's IRL, that they fear being perceived as annoying or obnoxious. I'm just wrapping up a photo/interview project and both of my 9's (interviewed separately) said something about that-- one said, "the last thing I would ever want is to be annoying". Just out of curiosity, do you resonate with that?
Haha that is funny and the wording was not intentional haha

And yeah i think i do...i remember saying on here once that i think i became a mellow enfp because i could sense my hyperactivity or enthusiasm was annoying to people sometimes...like a long time ago when i was a kid
 

Starry

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what does that mean??

When I first came here...I typed myself (based on the results of some random online enneagram test) as ENFP 4w5. Later, after learning about and instantly relating to counterphobia I imagined I must be a 6w7 <-and typed that way for a while but...like I've described many times on this site...it always felt as if I was trying to cram myself into "too tight" clothing. Like I kept thinking... I'm really not that cautious. I'm not that realistic. I have no desire to sift through the details of daily life...not at all. Everything is on this grander scale and yet...?

And I would read your posts and think... why is everything this person says something I would say? Granted I had some members on the side insisting I was a 7...but I know I am a 7 in large part because of you.

I have been feeling so disoriented on this site lately...having lost so many friends. And so my statement was merely to say "of course Lady X is a 9."


I don't think you are a 9 though X. But I love you and will stand behind whatever type you choose for yourself.
 

Lady_X

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When I firsjust t came here...I typed myself (based on the results of some random online enneagram test) as ENFP 4w5. Later, after learning about and instantly relating to counterphobia I imagined I must be a 6w7 <-and typed that way for while but...like I've described many times on this site...it always felt as if I was trying to cram myself into "too tight" clothing. Like I kept thinking... I'm really not that cautious. I'm not that realistic. I have no desire to sift through the details of daily life...not at all. Everything is on this grander scale and yet...?

And I would read your posts and think... why is everything this person says something I would say? Granted I had some members on the side insisting I was a 7...but I know I am a 7 in large part because of you.

I have been feeling so disoriented on this site lately...having lost so many friends. And so my statement was merely to say "of course Lady X is a 9."


I don't think you are a 9 though X. But I love you and will stand behind whatever type you choose for yourself.

No this is serious business starry!! i need to know!! i mean i knew i was a 7...i had my moments...like two or three times where i was like but wait...I'm no robin Williams and wth am i so freakin mellow if I'm an e and a 7?!

but have you read type 7 in that book? And how much do you relate to it?

have you ever seen the video i posted here? I'm like way mellow right?? my vibe seems way more 9 i think

plus...im often far away...disassociated

don't ya think it's possible I'm just 972
 

Lady_X

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actually [MENTION=5684]Elfboy[/MENTION] if you still have my video will you post it? i can't my laptop and my Mac are broken
 

Qlip

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I buy it, Lady. I am not well versed in enneagram, but you have never rung as a 7 to me, and I've known more than a few 7s. Supposedly 9's are supposed to be good matches for 4s, I'm not sure if this means they have an affinity for each other, for better or for worse. There's a good chance my ex was a 9, IxFP... :/ weird.
 

Lady_X

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I buy it, Lady. I am not well versed in enneagram, but you have never rung as a 7 to me, and I've known more than a few 7s. Supposedly 9's are supposed to be good matches for 4s, I'm not sure if this means they have an affinity for each other, for better or for worse. There's a good chance my ex was a 9, IxFP... :/ weird.

really?? see and we've talked about relationship stuffs so you've got valuable insight there too

why didn't you say anything!!!?? Haha
 

Qlip

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really?? see and we've talked about relationship stuffs so you've got valuable insight there too

why didn't you say anything!!!?? Haha

I didn't know!!! I have a terrible time typing people that I'm close to, so it's taken me a while to figure this out. The 9 fell into place for my ex while talking to another ENFP 4 and their relationship with a 9.

9s tend to be conflict avoidant, especially when unhealthy. I can't imagine how much I trampled over my 9 in the early days when I was very unhealthy myself. It eventually broke down because she ended up being more comfortable with not talking about anything after my bs over the years and pretending there were no problems, when I was actually ready to try to straighten things out for the first time. By then, communication had totally broken down and it was too late.
 

Lady_X

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I didn't know!!! I have a terrible time typing people that I'm close to, so it's taken me a while to figure this out. The 9 fell into place for my ex while talking to another ENFP 4 and their relationship with a 9.

9s tend to be conflict avoidant, especially when unhealthy. I can't imagine how much I trampled over my 9 in the early days when I was very unhealthy myself. It eventually broke down because she ended up being more comfortable with not talking about anything after my bs over the years and pretending there were no problems, when I was actually ready to try to straighten things out for the first time. By then, communication had totally broken down and it was too late.


but wasn't she isfp or something? i like to resolve stuff and can't function well when my relationship is off.
 

Qlip

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but wasn't she isfp or something? i like to resolve stuff and can't function well when my relationship is off.

Yeah, she was, it'd probably be a different animal all together. But, I don't know, you just seem very earthy for a 7, even in vids I've seen you in. Hmmmm.. :/ I know 9s feel an amazing amount of stress when conflicting demands are put on them form different sources... do you identify with that at all?

EDIT:

Actually, the real question is, when conflict comes up, is your first instinct to do busy work that's unrelated to it?
 

HongDou

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actually [MENTION=5684]Elfboy[/MENTION] if you still have my video will you post it? i can't my laptop and my Mac are broken

I wanna see!!
 

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that's what I've typed as for forever

Then I am confused, since by definition a 792 tritype will be quite conflict-averse anyway. Let's look at wings for type 9 - do you identify more with 9w1 or 9w8? You don't seem to vibe with either of those influences to me, but does either feel right to you? I should find the really good e9 link too ... see what you think of that.
 

Elfboy

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actually [MENTION=5684]Elfboy[/MENTION] if you still have my video will you post it? i can't my laptop and my Mac are broken

I don't have it, but I do remember you coming across very Sx/Sp-ish (even though I think you're Sx/So)
 

Lady_X

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Yeah, she was, it'd probably be a different animal all together. But, I don't know, you just seem very earthy for a 7, even in vids I've seen you in. Hmmmm.. :/ I know 9s feel an amazing amount of stress when conflicting demands are put on them form different sources... do you identify with that at all?

EDIT:

Actually, the real question is, when conflict comes up, is your first instinct to do busy work that's unrelated to it?

like get up and clean my house when I'm mad?
 
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