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[Traditional Enneagram] Enneagram 8's and being afraid of their own power?

kyuuei

Emperor/Dictator
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Cant say I am.

I do get worried I step on other peoples' toes frequently. And sometimes I over-estimate my abilities, and get really frustrated when I fail miserably as a result.
 

Noll

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What's that supposed to mean? Are you a world leader or something? You don't have any power.
 
L

LadyLazarus

Guest
Oh yeah. It's 'cause I'm such a freaking bad ass and I feel the need to tell everyone every second of the day in case they forget, because that obviously doesn't look desperate/ fake. I just feel the need to prove myself to the world for some reason but it's ok 'cause I have so much power over everything. I control how red I dye my hair and what brand of oatmeal I eat; POWEEEEEER(omg so scary!)!!
 

Animal

So carnal it's spiritual
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Not afraid of my own power. MOre afraid of the power others have over me if I care about them. If I cared for no one, then nobody would have power over me. Nobody else would have the power to take them away from me. Nobody would have the power to hurt me by leaving me, or by being hurt themselves. Nobody would have the power to upset me because of their own problems.

Attachment to others is one of the few things that leave me with less power. I'm not afraid of physical harm. Absolute autonomy leaves me with all of my power. But it is an empty life and it is not what I want.

Some people want to affect others but do not want to be affected. Personally I want to be affected. Masochism? I enjoy losing power, and overcoming hardship - it makes me stronger. Surviving vulnerability makes me stronger.

What scares me regarding my own power, is the extent of my power to detach. The most frightening thing in the world is apathy. I'd rather be crying, miserable, even die of a broken heart, rather than be 'undead' like I used to be. Detached, autonomous, powerful, but dead inside, thirsting for my next feed. Surviving, but not living. I wish I did not have the power to assume this state, but alas, I do, and that scares me. Although it is also the reason I know I am strong enough to be vulnerable, and have attachments, and allow people to truly matter - because regardless what happens, I will not crumble, ultimately.


4-8-7
 

Hive

hypersane
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Not afraid of my own power. MOre afraid of the power others have over me if I care about them.
Right, this is what I was gonna ask. Isn't it other people's power 8's are afraid of, thus exerting their own on their environment to remain autonomous?
 

Animal

So carnal it's spiritual
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Right, this is what I was gonna ask. Isn't it other people's power 8's are afraid of, thus exerting their own on their environment to remain autonomous?
I think so?

I am only an 8 fixer, so I can't use myself as an example of core 8. But the way I see it, this is why core 8s test people to see if they're strong enough to be vulnerable to. It's a way of retaining autonomy which I can relate to. I don't get attached to people anymore if I feel that they are "voluntarily weak" because I don't want to have to fight their battles for them, as that would leave me more powerless. If someone is strong, but truly vulnerable and needs me, I love to be there for them. But I used to let more people matter to me, until I got burned one too many times.
 
S

Stansmith

Guest
So if I'm getting this correctly, you fear some theoretical/mentally-fabricated point in the distant future where you'll essentially lose control of yourself? What's triggered this fear that you're currently feeling - was it something tangible? Is it safe to say that you're over-thinking things?
 

Elfboy

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8w7: hello no
8w9: on rare occasion
9w8: yes, definitely
 
N

ndovjtjcaqidthi

Guest
I am, but as a six who has an eight fix. I think this thread is more sixish than eightish..
 

Hive

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I am, but as a six who has an eight fix. I think this thread is more sixish than eightish..
In what way? I mean, what kinda power is it and what do you fear you will do?
 
N

ndovjtjcaqidthi

Guest
In what way? I mean, what kinda power is it and what do you fear you will do?

Well stressing out/getting anxious over some "theoretical" non existent point in the future is definitely a six thing.

The power I'm talking about is like.. a power that I feel within, I guess.

I feel like I can do anything I want to in this life, no matter how unlikely it may seem, and guide my own fate to get there. I also feel like nothing can stop me except for me.

It's debilitating because I don't really know what I should do, if anything (as in, what's the point?).

I'm also very lazy.

I'm like mired in indecision and endless contemplation.
 

Hive

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I think so?

I am only an 8 fixer, so I can't use myself as an example of core 8. But the way I see it, this is why core 8s test people to see if they're strong enough to be vulnerable to. It's a way of retaining autonomy which I can relate to. I don't get attached to people anymore if I feel that they are "voluntarily weak" because I don't want to have to fight their battles for them, as that would leave me more powerless. If someone is strong, but truly vulnerable and needs me, I love to be there for them. But I used to let more people matter to me, until I got burned one too many times.
I can relate, I think. At least with the part that you don't wanna fight other people's battles. I don't test people, I just... Spend time with them, try to figure out what kinda person they are, and then decide if I can open up? Like I said, I don't test people, but on the other hand it's pretty easy for me to sever my bonds if people become a burden or if I opened up and later realize it was a mistake. I guess that's another defense mechanism to protect your sense of autonomy, but in more in a 7(w8) fashion.

I also wonder: Maybe this is something 8's ask themselves when they're in a particularly vulnerable position, kicking their psychological defenses into overdrive, feeling like they're gonna lash out with more force than usual?
 

Hive

hypersane
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Well stressing out/getting anxious over some "theoretical" non existent point in the future is definitely a six thing.

The power I'm talking about is like.. a power that I feel within, I guess.

I feel like I can do anything I want to in this life, no matter how unlikely, and guide my own fate to get there. I also feel like nothing can stop me except for me.

It's debilitating because I don't really know what I should do with it, if anything (as in, what's the point?).

I'm also very lazy.
Do you think it is this something real to be legitimately afraid of (have you ever exerted this power before), or is it more like something intangible, slumbering within but has never expressed itself, maybe even being just a product of your imagination? I mean, I reckon it's pretty common for Sixes to imagine themselves strong and forceful or fantasizing about power, but feeling less confident actually navigating trough the real world.

What, more concretely, is it that you fear you will do? Crush other people in your path? Leaving them scarred? Lose your empathy or sense of self? Is there no way of getting where you want without being afraid of what you might do?
 
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