[Traditional Enneagram] When did you experience your wing?

[Evo]

I have heard that your enneagram wing develops in your early to late 20's.

Is this true for you?

(I personally have experienced being 100% E6, and about 97% E7 my whole life. I think I'm just starting to consciously accept my 7 wing. But I have always been counter-gluttony.)

 

[Chad of the OttomanEmpire]

I've not heard that. Where'd you hear it??

I can tell you that I believe the theory that our core type is determined by the interplay between our two wings--I've seen this pattern since I was about 4 years old. When I'm alone, I see the two of them in me about equally. I'm actually not sure which I present more.

I have noticed that, once fully in charge of my own life (when I moved out of the house at a age 23), my movements through life have been increasingly motivated by/fearful of one wing. Whether this is because my wing "developed" or because it simply became more apparent with no one to keep it in check, I cannot affirm. It'll be interesting to see where the next decade takes me.

 

[WhoCares]

In my youger years my 4 wing was raging, I didnt give much weight to my fears of the world until after my 30's. My 20's was all about confidence in my abilities but not necessary much sense of self value. But once I experienced the listlessness which became my life from my 30's onwards. I developed a pervading sense of both apathy and fear of the world and my ability to survive within it, then the 6 really took hold.

 

[WALMART]

If that's true, me being 8w9 would work. I think I'm probably split between both.

The more I realized my heedless tendency caused dissonance within the more I sought to alter my behavior.

 

[Stansmith]

I'm a 6w7, and while I'm still only 19 years old, I can't picture myself ever becoming 7-ish. I'm slowly becoming more 9-ish, if anything, which makes sense.

 

[ndovjtjcaqidthi]

Where exactly did you read this?

 

[Noll]

From since I learned about my real Enneagram-type. I was always mistyped as either 6w7 or 9w1, I didn't feel that was quite it and I got frustrated and hated 'personality-pseudoscience-crap', when I scored 4w5 so/sp and also read about it I've never been as sure of my type. Friends said it was very likely too. 3-wing, no matter how much I'd like it, just isn't me. However me being ISFP and Social-dom can make me seem like a 3 or 7 or something in a completely healthy state sometimes, if with friends. I would like the counter-shame to appear way more often.

 

[five sounds]

As much as I can remember experiencing e7, I think it's always been in a 6-colored way. I've always been dreamy, nervous, and loyal despite my 7-ish drive for gluttony. I have memories of being that way as a young child. It feels essential to who I am.

 

[hjgbujhghg]

What :O This is a big suprise, I remember that I strived for popularity and being noticed/liked, or appreciated by others even earlier than I strived for being original, or true to myself... I remember when I was like 10 my teacher asked me what do you want from life and I told her I want to be a famous singer . I had this amazing idea of being famous and living my life in Los Angeles, or Hollywood and I really believed this when I was like 5-13... Then I changed and became totally 4ish. But this dream and need for fame/popularity actually leads the actions in my life, why I choose what I choose...it's like the biggest wish, the goal that gives the meaning to my life.

 

[Such Irony]

As a kid, I think I was mostly 6 wing. As a teen and in my adulthood, I'd say my wings are closely balanced, leaning slightly towards 6.

 

[Evo]

I'm a 6w7, and while I'm still only 19 years old, I can't picture myself ever becoming 7-ish. I'm slowly becoming more 9-ish, if anything, which makes sense.

Yea that's what I would have thought. But I really act a lot like a 7 surprisingly to me.
[MENTION=15318]Nights and Days[/MENTION] and [MENTION=18576]Sanjuro[/MENTION] I can't find where I read it!!!

 

[ndovjtjcaqidthi]

[MENTION=15318]Nights and Days[/MENTION] and [MENTION=18576]Sanjuro[/MENTION] I can't find where I read it!!!

Hmm. Anyways, to answer your question, I've always felt 5ish.

 

[Amargith]

I was encouraged to be w5 and discouraged to be w3, hence my own preference of w5. I probably use both though. And yeah, the strucgle between the two started early twenties as i finally had the freedom to discover what being me really was like as i moved out.

 

[small.wonder]

I was not aware of Enneagram at all until about two years ago, but as soon as I started reading about my type (after the test results) I strongly identified with 4. I often encourage people to learn about all of the types (to aid them relationally, but also to fully visit all of the possibilities for themselves) and as I did so, I saw myself quite a bit in 5 as well. I tend to identify my wing as "heavy", I even have a friend who swears that I am really 5w4. I definitely relate to what [MENTION=20005]Noll[/MENTION] said about not really feeling 3 at all-- in fact, it's one of the Enneatypes I have the hardest time getting along with. That said, I do have tiny moments I call "weak wing" blips, that are very small 3 moments. An example: I went out to a nice dinner with my Mom a couple weeks ago and as as the waitress handed us our menus my Mom exclaimed, "Oh, new menus!" because the design had changed. I noticed a hesitation from the waitress before she smiled and left us, and inferred that the menus actually hadn't changed for awhile. Feeling a bit embarrassed, I said to my Mom, "way to let her know how long it's been since we've eaten here!" I'm usually the last person in the world to care about measures of status like that! That is a weak wing blip. It happens pretty rarely, though I don't try to prevent it really.

The only other 4 I know is 4w3 and we relate to some extent. I really should get to know him better to explore the 4w3 side of things.

 

[badger055]

It's definitely true for me my personality started changing around that time. I remember one my friends saying "rob doesn't take shit from anyone" and something about how i should care about feelings more. I became a lot more hostile.

 

[TheCheeseBurgerKing]

When I started getting older and having more responsibility I become less willing to deal with bullshit.

 

[EJCC]

I think my 2 wing was actually much, MUCH more active when I was a teenager. Nowadays, at age 23, I can see a lot more wing balance going on. Still a clear 1w2, but also 9-ishly drawn towards "going with the flow" and forsaking the self in order to see all sides, in some interpersonal situations.

 

[Showbread]

I really think I feel both of my wings quite a bit. I think I have more 1 tendencies though. I am very particular about things that are important to me. I always feel like I have to justify things to myself before I make a decision.

 

[á´…eparted]

9 is consistently my second lowest or lowest enneagram, and the type identify with the least. As such I am a 2 wing by default. It's been like that going way way back.

 

[Galena]

I typed as a five wing for a long time, but that ultimately didn't fit for reasons similar to why threes who become isolated by workaholism can see themselves in the five defense mechanism of isolation. My withdrawl was not about information or knowledge outside of what was necessary for my projects - in fact, I feel ignorant sometimes because I spent such a huge essential chunk of my life laser-focused on producing without stopping to really absorb the wisdom of others. It was about creating my legitimacy.