General symptoms of an unhealthy person?

[Thalassa]

Right. Good people who have their shit together tend to have a "vibe" about them. A vibe of innocence.

My ex used to tell me I was too "inexperienced." I think it was a clever way of saying I made her feel like some oldhag. She had really low self esteem and self worth.

What? People who are inexperienced are inexperienced and it can be annoying to people who have had a lot of life experience. I doubt it meant it made her feel like an old hag.

It gives them a vibe of innocence?

I'm starting to see what your problem is.

Are you getting involved with older women? If so, please stop, because calling your ex an "old hag" really doesn't bode well, whether it's your perception or how she saw herself.

 

[Azure Flame]

lol, I AM playing "captain save-a-ho" lol! But the reason I do that is because I feel like women are talking to me as if I can, if that makes sense. Its as if they're the ones telling me I can and I just say, "oh... well ok then lez do this." I don't actively seek out needy women so I can feel good about myself, I just go about my day and they seem to come to me with their sob stories. I've only in recent years started to think I should start saying no.

 

[Newbyagain]

Edit:

What are the signs a personality is healthy? Assuming you meet someone for the first time and you want to find out if they're emotionally healthy or not without any knowledge of enneagram, how do you tell?

Desperation seems key to me. I have seen the term false consolation used when talking about the Enneagram. It looks different in all types, but supposedly it has some benefits, due to the fact that sometimes we need to face a period of desperation to make it to the other side. Now whether the false consolation has come from a lack of maturity, such as a personality disorder, or a crisis is probably more important in determining how careful you need to be around this person.

 

[Newbyagain]

Edit:

What are the signs a personality is healthy? Assuming you meet someone for the first time and you want to find out if they're emotionally healthy or not without any knowledge of enneagram, how do you tell?

Oh and I saw the part you had taken out but somebody quoted it. I can't help but to want to tell you, I completely know where you are coming from. I have felt this way about Eights and I think we are both polar types of personalities in that we are usually extreme about everything, so we can have a lot of conflict. I think if one or both of us are immature, not unhealthy, but immature, we can wind up causing a spiraling effect on each other. In retrospect, the Eight I told you about, I can now see how immature he was. I think you just need to keep looking for a mature Four. It can be hard to find, but that goes for any type. A Four who does the desperate push pull thing needs maturity. I have a tendency to do that inside, but maturity tells me to stop dead in my tracks and do what I need to with the relationship to make it wholesome and not demand that the relationship itself is supposed to magically meet all of these "perfect" ideals or unrealistic emotional thoughts, feelings, or fantasies. For me that means starting the relationship off right and if anything goes not as planned, then do what I need to go from there. I think an immature Four is too subjective to their feelings about the relationship rather than distancing their selves and thinking about what they need and what causes them to go back and forth. I don't know if that helps.

As far as us having moods, people call us moody as if the mood just comes from nowhere. That isn't the case, it always comes from something, it's just that we are hypersensitive about it. That's just us, as long as we aren't inviting unwilling people in to be a part of it, I don't see it a problem.

 

[Silveresque]

I think a person's level of psychological health can be assessed without knowing their enneagram type. Poor health would show itself through a number of behavioral, cognitive, emotional, social, and occupational problems or disruptions.

The Global Assessment of Functioning Scale used by clinical psychologists might be relevant:

The Global Assessment of Functioning (GAF) is a numeric scale (0 through 100) used by mental health clinicians and physicians to rate subjectively the social, occupational, and psychological functioning of adults, e.g., how well or adaptively one is meeting various problems-in-living. The scale is presented and described in the DSM-IV-TR on page 34. The score is often given as a range.

Scale

91 - 100 No symptoms. Superior functioning in a wide range of activities, life's problems never seem to get out of hand, is sought out by others because of his or her many positive qualities.
81 - 90 Absent or minimal symptoms (e.g., mild anxiety before an exam), good functioning in all areas, interested and involved in a wide range of activities, socially effective, generally satisfied with life, no more than everyday problems or concerns (e.g., an occasional argument with family members).
71 - 80 If symptoms are present, they are transient and expectable reactions to psychosocial stressors (e.g., difficulty concentrating after family argument); no more than slight impairment in social, occupational, or school functioning (e.g., temporarily falling behind in schoolwork).
61 - 70 Some mild symptoms (e.g., depressed mood and mild insomnia) or some difficulty in social, occupational, or school functioning (e.g., occasional truancy, or theft within the household), but generally functioning pretty well, has some meaningful interpersonal relationships.
51 - 60 Moderate symptoms (e.g., flat affect and circumstantial speech, occasional panic attacks) or moderate difficulty in social, occupational, or school functioning (e.g., few friends, conflicts with peers or co-workers).
41 - 50 Serious symptoms (e.g., suicidal ideation, severe obsessional rituals, frequent shoplifting) or any serious impairment in social, occupational, or school functioning (e.g., no friends, unable to keep a job).
31 - 40 Some impairment in reality testing or communication (e.g., speech is at times illogical, obscure, or irrelevant) or major impairment in several areas, such as work or school, family relations, judgment, thinking, or mood (e.g., depressed adult avoids friends, neglects family, and is unable to work; child frequently beats up younger children, is defiant at home, and is failing at school).
21 - 30 Behavior is considerably influenced by delusions or hallucinations or serious impairment, in communication or judgment (e.g., sometimes incoherent, acts grossly inappropriately, suicidal preoccupation) or inability to function in almost all areas (e.g., stays in bed all day, no job, home, or friends)
11 - 20 Some danger of hurting self or others (e.g., suicide attempts without clear expectation of death; frequently violent; manic excitement) or occasionally fails to maintain minimal personal hygiene (e.g., smears feces) or gross impairment in communication (e.g., largely incoherent or mute).
1 - 10 Persistent danger of severely hurting self or others (e.g., recurrent violence) or persistent inability to maintain minimal personal hygiene or serious suicidal act with clear expectation of death.

(Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Global_Assessment_of_Functioning)