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Which type do you not get?

Chloe

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May 1, 2009
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My sister's a 3, so I think I understand 3s quite well. It's all about feeling worthy, and if 3s feel that if they're not smart/beautiful/rich/benevolent (or whatever quality they choose to view as 'successful'), they aren't 'worthy' of love. The society the Three lives in will probably determine what the Three does to get "love" (acceptance). Deep down, however, they just want to lie in bed and be completely useless and still have people give them a hug and tell them it's okay to be who they are even when they don't do anything. :hug:)

yeah, we want to be loved for who we are and not for what we do, but since we believe that's impossible we keep doing stuff, like learning 5 languages :mellow:
 

21%

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Happiness is alert to you that something is missing? :happy2:
Heh. Not always, but happiness to me is just one of the emotions -- so I find sadness and happiness equally satisfying in their intensity, if you know what I mean. I thrive on intense feelings because they make me feel alive and acutely aware of my 'self'. If I don't feel anything for a long time, it's like I'm not really living :blush:

It's weird, but I don't feel 'happy' much. The extreme kind of happiness is realizing what I have and feeling the fleetingness (and therefore beauty) of it, so it eventually gets mixed with sadness anyway (But it's still a transcendentally gooood feeling).

yeah, we want to be loved for who we are and not for what we do, but since we believe that's impossible we keep doing stuff, like learning 5 languages :mellow:
Exactly! You get more hugs for that :hug: :hug: :hug:
 

SilkRoad

Lay the coin on my tongue
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Thanks for the input from/about the 3s. I feel like I have a little more understanding already. :)

For those confused about type 6: I don't live my life in a constant state of fear and anxiety, which I think is sometimes the perception of 6. But I question a lot, I tend to see what can go wrong, I tend to say "yeah, but what about..." when someone puts forth an idea. And I worry about security and would like to find more of it - particularly emotional security. I look for friends and relationships where the person is going to be like a rock. And most people aren't.
 

21%

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For those confused about type 6: I don't live my life in a constant state of fear and anxiety, which I think is sometimes the perception of 6. But I question a lot, I tend to see what can go wrong, I tend to say "yeah, but what about..." when someone puts forth an idea. And I worry about security and would like to find more of it - particularly emotional security. I look for friends and relationships where the person is going to be like a rock. And most people aren't.
Hmmm... so the anxiety stems from the potential of harm? What would be the ideal life situation for you? To live in a secure environment with a group of people you trust? (Just guessing here) :blush:

And, doesn't that sound too safe and normal (and a bit boring)? :alttongue:
 

SilkRoad

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Hmmm... so the anxiety stems from the potential of harm? What would be the ideal life situation for you? To live in a secure environment with a group of people you trust? (Just guessing here) :blush:

And, doesn't that sound too safe and normal (and a bit boring)? :alttongue:

More or less accurate. I don't like it when people are inconsistent or likely to pull the carpet from under my feet. And I like it when people respect my independence and autonomy, but also want to help and (to a certain extent) protect me. I probably give off somewhat mixed messages in that regard.

As far as things being too safe/normal/boring - the way I see it, when you have certain fundamentals that you can rely upon, that allows more space for things to be fun and exciting. (boasting coming up, sorry) I've travelled to many continents and have friends all over the world, I've had rich and exciting cultural and other experiences that most people I know haven't had, etc - and I like it when surprises come up under those circumstances, but only if they're pleasant surprises and certain things are in place! Ie. while I love travelling, I'd rather go visit my friends in a foreign country, or even if I travel on my own, have a hotel booked for part of the trip, or something... Setting off into the unknown with an element of adventure and unpredictability is one thing but I don't feel comfortable doing it with only five dollars and nowhere to stay for the night.

I can be pretty fun and crazy (so I'm told) but only if certain secure elements are in place. If I'm with other people, they should be people I trust. If I'm alone, I should know where I'm staying that night or at least that I have an airport floor to sit on. Etc.

In some ways I trust myself (and certain fundamental things that I've incorporated, like my faith) more than I trust others. So I'd rather travel alone than with people who are going to be unpleasant, a pain, unpredictable, etc. However, I'd rather travel with people who are going to be both reliable and fun, than alone. Romantically I would love to be with someone who would lead me into fun adventures, but he would protect me and be "safe" both emotionally and physically. Since I am good at finding my own forms of fun and entertainment, I'd probably rather be with someone who was (slightly!) on the boring side but reliable and trustworthy and solid, than someone dangerous and fun but unreliable, not trustworthy, etc.

Hope that gives you a bit more of an idea... :)


Heh. Not always, but happiness to me is just one of the emotions -- so I find sadness and happiness equally satisfying in their intensity, if you know what I mean. I thrive on intense feelings because they make me feel alive and acutely aware of my 'self'. If I don't feel anything for a long time, it's like I'm not really living :blush:

Oh, and this is one of the key reasons why I knew I'm not a 4. :D I can kind of understand why 4s are like that, but it sort of...annoys me too, I admit. I confess to having a bit of a "get over it/yourself!" reaction to the chasing after intense feelings. Not that I don't love intensity, and have experience of sadness and depression, but I'd rather get out of it sooner than later... I kind of feel that the arts are a "safe" way of releasing and dealing with intense emotions and turning them into something amazing and transformative.
 

21%

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More or less accurate. I don't like it when people are inconsistent or likely to pull the carpet from under my feet. And I like it when people respect my independence and autonomy, but also want to help and (to a certain extent) protect me. I probably give off somewhat mixed messages in that regard.

As far as things being too safe/normal/boring - the way I see it, when you have certain fundamentals that you can rely upon, that allows more space for things to be fun and exciting. (boasting coming up, sorry) I've travelled to many continents and have friends all over the world, I've had rich and exciting cultural and other experiences that most people I know haven't had, etc - and I like it when surprises come up under those circumstances, but only if they're pleasant surprises and certain things are in place! Ie. while I love travelling, I'd rather go visit my friends in a foreign country, or even if I travel on my own, have a hotel booked for part of the trip, or something... Setting off into the unknown with an element of adventure and unpredictability is one thing but I don't feel comfortable doing it with only five dollars and nowhere to stay for the night.

I can be pretty fun and crazy (so I'm told) but only if certain secure elements are in place. If I'm with other people, they should be people I trust. If I'm alone, I should know where I'm staying that night or at least that I have an airport floor to sit on. Etc.

In some ways I trust myself (and certain fundamental things that I've incorporated, like my faith) more than I trust others. So I'd rather travel alone than with people who are going to be unpleasant, a pain, unpredictable, etc. However, I'd rather travel with people who are going to be both reliable and fun, than alone. Romantically I would love to be with someone who would lead me into fun adventures, but he would protect me and be "safe" both emotionally and physically. Since I am good at finding my own forms of fun and entertainment, I'd probably rather be with someone who was (slightly!) on the boring side but reliable and trustworthy and solid, than someone dangerous and fun but unreliable, not trustworthy, etc.

Hope that gives you a bit more of an idea... :)
Thanks for explaining! Yeah, I can relate to a certain extent, perhaps because of my sp instinct. It's extremely important for me to be safe and to have a plan (and an emergency plan), but that's still by no means my main focus. I don't really worry about it that much. I guess in the same way, a 6 probably won't find it so important to be concerned with their own uniqueness like a 4 does :D

Once I try thinking about Types 3-6-9 (acceptance-seeking) as the same thing but with different approaches, it seems to make more sense. 3s seek it aggressively, by achieving and 'proving' to people that they are worthy to be loved. 6s seek it embracingly, by going into the world and becoming part of it. 9s seek it by withdrawing and making peace with themselves. I think it's about fitting in and being loved.

Doesn't make perfect sense yet, but I'm understanding more :blush:

Oh, and this is one of the key reasons why I knew I'm not a 4. :D I can kind of understand why 4s are like that, but it sort of...annoys me too, I admit. I confess to having a bit of a "get over it/yourself!" reaction to the chasing after intense feelings. Not that I don't love intensity, and have experience of sadness and depression, but I'd rather get out of it sooner than later... I kind of feel that the arts are a "safe" way of releasing and dealing with intense emotions and turning them into something amazing and transformative.
I know. I tend to get annoyed by whiny 4s too. If I whine I whine quietly and only to myself. :smile:

I guess everyone can relate to a certain degree to each type's motivation, but has their own priorities.
 

lunalum

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I find it difficult to understand Types 6, 7, 8. I can understand the descriptions, but I just can't seem to relate much to the motivations. (Type 7 needs to be 'happy'? As a 4, I don't feel any real need to be happy. Like, who needs happiness when you can sulk and think about depressing stuff all day? :D)

You see this is why I don't understand type 4s :laugh:

I kind of think of it like, other types get addicted to things, and 7s get addicted to addiction. We are happiness junkies.... to not try to get ourselves back to happiness immediately is to be captured in sadness and all the terrifying things it brings up. And with enthusiasm as one of our main powers, to expose ourselves to this strange scariness without that is equivalent to giving up on living. Or something like that.

To the rest of you: I think you only think you understand sevens ;) We're complex too even if it is accompanied by winking faces and dancing bananas sometimes :banana:
 

Orangey

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3, 6, 9 damn you fine, move it to me, sock it to me one mor' time
Get Low Get Low Get Low Get Low Get Low Get Low Get Low

To seriously answer the OP, I understand all of the types, but I sometimes have difficulty imagining what it'd feel like to be a 4. I can't imagine myself behaving in so foreign a way.
 

Turtledove

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The types that don't get me. *irony*
 

OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
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4s if you're so focused on being unique, authentic and special, why do you hate yourself so much? why do you feel so much shame and negative emotions? why do you try so hard to be yourself in the first place? isn't it more authentic to do something that you feel like than something that is deliberately against what other people are doing?

I think this is a misconception...at least for me. I have to TRY to relate to others, try to NOT see myself as different, try to be content with being average/typical. That is what takes effort. Being "authentic" or going against the grain comes naturally enough that I have to try to go against it sometimes & not let it sabotage me. If it's natural for me to do what is typical, then I don't sweat it.

So I don't think 4s deliberately try to be unique or make any effort to stay authentic. It's not that conscious; it's a deeply rooted drive we're talking about here.
Rather, 4s automatically hone in on natural traits of theirs that truly are different from others & see that as their identity. This is why 4s may not even appear unique to others. They just need to feel unique, so they focus on what is different about themselves. Often, this results in someone who does appear unusual because they unconsciously choose to nurture those aspects of themselves over other aspects, simply because they DO see that as being true to themselves, as their identity rests on those traits. They may resist things which seem to force them to go against that identity (ie. the 4 who won't work anywhere that makes them wear a uniform, or whatever). They're not going to resist something they genuinely want to do just because it's normal, it's more that they seem to not want to do the typical ever, just naturally. Maybe it looks deliberate, but it's automatic.

In a similar vein, 3s note what gets them accolades or success & amplify that to achieve more and 2s note what makes them appreciated/needed and they pursue that to get more of it. The image triad is not about putting on an act, but creating an identity around the qualities you genuinely possess in order to fulfill your core need. This noting is an automatic, unconscious thing also. It's not a rationally thought out plan.
 

Elusivity

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Oct 19, 2011
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I can understand all types, including 3 since as 9 I both integrate to it, as well as having it in my tritype.

9s don't necessarily consciously have low self-esteem (this has to do with mental/emotional health levels rather than E-type; all E-types can feel bad abt themselves in their own way). Rather, other people seem to have firmer preferences where we do not, and we're so focused on others that, when we're around them, we want them to be happy and relaxed so they do not reject us to our face AND so they'll leave us alone from their demands and conflicts. The less healthy the 9, the more they will focus on maintaining surface (even false) harmony, to the point of numbing themselves. As I become healthier, I tend to actively seek conflict if the result is genuine harmony down the line.

E3 for me is simply an intuitive awareness of how others perceive me, and knowing how to dress /behave /etc so that they perceive me in a particular way. I never confuse real me with the image, which can be tweaked to fit in with whichever crowd while I am the real person, observing and often enjoying my "performance". Since I'm sx-dom, my E3 aspect is in sx-realm as well, not so much focused on work as, how good am I at flirting, getting attention whenever I'm interested, call-backs, etc, but still focused on "results, skills, and competence". I am so happy it's not my dominant type ;) as it can really be a lot of work, and the sense of failure you feel when you "didn't achieve the objective" orz
 

ESFP

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I don't get 1s (my mother) and 7s (my father).
 

Santosha

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yeah, we want to be loved for who we are and not for what we do, but since we believe that's impossible we keep doing stuff, like learning 5 languages :mellow:

Obviously, I relate. However, I will add that being in relationships has really helped me alot with this. Oh I don't wan't to come off as all needy and co-dependent, but I will admit that when I've been in HEALTHY relationships with people that I really admire, I have flourished a great deal and been able to get much more in touch with the inner self. It has worked backwards as well, and relationship failures (once I've really opened up to someone) are especially painful. The funny thing is that I often couldn't understand WHY I would feel so terrible about the end of relations.. even when on my terms, even when we were clearly incompatible or the other person was simply a douche. I eventually started to understand a pattern (in my feelings). I would take the failure of a relation as a very personal failure and rejection, a symbol that all my fears were true, unloveable, unworthy and no amount of doing could change it. I guess in a way the hurt still spawned growth and realization.

After reading over the comments in this thread I take the stand that 3's can really be difficult to even pick out. To do it you'd have to get close enough to see what that particular 3's flavor is. People think emotionless-ladder climbing-ball breaking-corporate bitches - and it's just not accurate. THe one thing that I really love about 3's is an absolutely un-yielding determination to improve on anything they deem necessary. SO, if a 3 is lucky enough to take interest in self actualizing, psychology, meditation, and getting "in touch" I think they may even have a bit of an edge. Yet there-in lies the catch. 3, 6 and 9 all have only two movements of integration. Yet being the farthest removed the fixations are stronger and harder to break. It fascinates and scares me.

Of all e-types I struggle to understand 9's the most. Go figure.
 

Morpeko

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Attachment types make the least sense to me, especially 9. I can sympathize with them, and I generally enjoy talking to them, but I don't understand their core fear and desire.

6s are a mixed bag for me. I get some of them, but 6s that are either extremely phobic or counterphobic confuse the hell out of me. I understand the desire to feel security, but extreme 6s seem to be doing things that are the vast opposite of allowing them any semblance of safety.
 

neko 4

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2. I've never ever needed to be needed. That's why I have a cat and no kids or dogs.
 

Doctor Cringelord

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ESTP. They’ll bludgeon you with the facts and even whip out their swinging Fe to justify why those facts or their reasoning is good for everyone else, but if I try to go conceptual or get them to consider the overarching reasons for why I think they’re wrong, or try to look at long term effects of what they think is a good enough idea, they give me the side eye and more loudly double down on why they’re right. They can come across as bullies in this regard, and it’s even worse when they have a group of people standing there in agreement with them. ExTJs sometimes do this, but to a much lesser degree, and they overall tend to be more willing to listen to me on why I might disagree.
 

RadicalDoubt

Alongside Questionable Clarity
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Probably the id types in general, most prominently 8 and 7 (less so 3 purely because I've had more time to research and break that down). I generally have difficulty understanding others who (strongly) value their own desires above those of others and struggle to control their urges, but also the ability to plow through life and have the confidence and presence to push things in their direction without thought. I've never really got lack of patience either.

On the mbti end, I really struggle understanding high Se, especially ESFP. High Se in general is really mystifying to me in it's ability to be present and cognizant of the moment, being able to move without thinking. Quite literally without thinking, as I've heard a lot of high Se users discuss how they don't really have an internal monologue, which is entirely foreign to me.
 

Pessimistic Hippie

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sx/so
2. I've never ever needed to be needed. That's why I have a cat and no kids or dogs.

I feel bad saying this but, same. And that's not to say that I don't understand their usefulness (the 2s I've KNOWN were 2s fuckin' rocked)...I just don't understand how it works. xD
 

Morpeko

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Attachment types make the least sense to me, especially 9. I can sympathize with them, and I generally enjoy talking to them, but I don't understand their core fear and desire.

6s are a mixed bag for me. I get some of them, but 6s that are either extremely phobic or counterphobic confuse the hell out of me. I understand the desire to feel security, but extreme 6s seem to be doing things that are the vast opposite of allowing them any semblance of safety.

Since people have brought up MBTI, I might as well do it too.

I don't really have anything in common with Fe-doms and Ne-doms. However, I think I understand them, though I'd never act similarly.

I guess I have a hard time understanding ISxJs most. Si as a dominant function seems very strange to me and I can't imagine processing things primarily through subjective sensing.
 

chickpea

perfect person
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Ni and Ti are probably the most foreign functions to me. i know i don’t use Fe or Se either but i at least have a basic understanding of how they operate. Ni and Ti have me like:


besides that, probably 2s, 3s, and so-doms. xxFP so-doms always really throw me for a loop too because their Fi presents itself very differently than i’m used to. i get them easily confused with Fe-users.
 
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