• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

The perfect compliment

Sunny Ghost

New member
Joined
May 28, 2010
Messages
2,396
There was a thread before about what enneagram 4's DON'T want to hear. And last night I heard what enneagram 4's most ideally want to hear. I was complimented as being interesting, thoughtful, and beautiful. And I thought to myself... so perfectly what I've always wanted to hear... so perfectly 4w5.

It got me wondering, what are the perfect compliments for each enneagram? Do some enneagrams not care to be complimented at all?

My rough estimate for say... a type 5 would be... you're incredibly intelligent. For a 9... you're so calm and serene...

IDK. I'm curious to hear what you guys have to say. Maybe we're all interested in hearing the same compliments.
 

Charnette

New member
Joined
Dec 8, 2010
Messages
19
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4
Instinctual Variant
sx
To me, as a 4w5 too, are the perfect compliments these:

I have never met a person like you. You are truly unique.
You are so insightful (It's probably a trait of my 5 wing).
You have a soul of artist, you are so creative.
You have really original view of world.

I love compliments :D
 
Last edited:

Fan.of.Devin

New member
Joined
Jul 12, 2010
Messages
292
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
4w5
Nothing flatters me more than when I am asked a question (ostensibly out of genuine interest or even just curiosity) about myself or a topic I'm intimately familiar with and/or passionate about... I melt, and, frequently, get carried away with the answer.
 

rav3n

.
Joined
Aug 6, 2010
Messages
11,655
Are you sure that the perfect compliment is driven by enneagram types? Moreso, wouldn't this be the underlying valuations of what the individual believes to be their positive traits?
 

Sunny Ghost

New member
Joined
May 28, 2010
Messages
2,396
Well, that was what I was curious to find out. To me, being called interesting, beautiful and thoughtful seemed perfectly fit to what a 4w5 would want to hear. But then again, maybe it's what we all want to hear.
 

Starry

Active member
Joined
May 22, 2010
Messages
6,103
Well, that was what I was curious to find out. To me, being called interesting, beautiful and thoughtful seemed perfectly fit to what a 4w5 would want to hear. But then again, maybe it's what we all want to hear.

I think you are on to something Indy. For example...if someone called me thoughtful I would kinda be thinking ???

But if someone said to me...I love being with you. We might be doing the most routine of things, yet you make everything so fun...I would be :wubbie:
 

Forever_Jung

Active member
Joined
May 23, 2009
Messages
2,644
MBTI Type
ESFJ
Perfect compliment for a six: Assuring them of your love during and after a freak out. That earns a lot of trust and prevents future freak outs, because usually the episode is testing your loyalty in the first place, even if it feels like an attack or breakdown to you.
 

highlander

Administrator
Staff member
Joined
Dec 23, 2009
Messages
26,562
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I don't know what the perfect compliment for an 8 would be but someone once said I was "passionate" and "compassionate". It is probably the best compliment I've had. I still remember them speaking the words and that was about 7 years ago.
 

Arclight

Permabanned
Joined
Nov 5, 2009
Messages
3,177
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
6w5
Perfect compliment for a six: Assuring them of your love during and after a freak out. That earns a lot of trust and prevents future freak outs, because usually the episode is testing your loyalty in the first place, even if it feels like an attack or breakdown to you.

Give the man a cigar!!!!!!!
 

Engineer

Dependable Skeleton
Joined
Feb 1, 2011
Messages
625
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Perfect compliment for a six: Assuring them of your love during and after a freak out. That earns a lot of trust and prevents future freak outs, because usually the episode is testing your loyalty in the first place, even if it feels like an attack or breakdown to you.

Bingo! (hands over a cigar)
 

Tabula

New member
Joined
Jun 16, 2010
Messages
302
MBTI Type
IxFx
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
What about being complimented for how you when you're at/do something when at your best - some mixture of your own positive traits and those of the type you integrate to?

For instance, a compliment about my "serenity" or "peacefulness" sounds more like an acknowledgment of obvious traits versus a compliment. But if, when I'm in my zone, stepping out on a limb, taking some risks, and feeling great about it, someone were to compliment my motivation or achievements, it would seriously mean a lot. A mixture of both of those'd make me :wubbie:

But maybe this is precisely what makes me a 9.
 

Sunny Ghost

New member
Joined
May 28, 2010
Messages
2,396
Perfect compliment for a six: Assuring them of your love during and after a freak out. That earns a lot of trust and prevents future freak outs, because usually the episode is testing your loyalty in the first place, even if it feels like an attack or breakdown to you.
What about in cases of friendships with a 6? Assuring that no matter what, you're there for them?

I think you are on to something Indy. For example...if someone called me thoughtful I would kinda be thinking ???

But if someone said to me...I love being with you. We might be doing the most routine of things, yet you make everything so fun...I would be :wubbie:
And though I might find a compliment like that sweet... it wouldn't really do it for me. I'd feel as though they were missing some bigger picture of me.

I don't know what the perfect compliment for an 8 would be but someone once said I was "passionate" and "compassionate". It is probably the best compliment I've had. I still remember them speaking the words and that was about 7 years ago.
I could see that for an 8.


What about being complimented for how you when you're at/do something when at your best - some mixture of your own positive traits and those of the type you integrate to?

For instance, a compliment about my "serenity" or "peacefulness" sounds more like an acknowledgment of obvious traits versus a compliment. But if, when I'm in my zone, stepping out on a limb, taking some risks, and feeling great about it, someone were to compliment my motivation or achievements, it would seriously mean a lot. A mixture of both of those'd make me :wubbie:

But maybe this is precisely what makes me a 9.
So, as a 9, you'd like to be recognized for stepping outside of your typical boundaries? I suppose the 4 equivalent of a 9 being called "calm" would be someone calling me sensitive. Well, duh! Leave me alone about it! :cry:
 

Tabula

New member
Joined
Jun 16, 2010
Messages
302
MBTI Type
IxFx
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
So, as a 9, you'd like to be recognized for stepping outside of your typical boundaries? I suppose the 4 equivalent of a 9 being called "calm" would be someone calling me sensitive. Well, duh! Leave me alone about it! :cry:

Exactly.


Maybe I'm wrong, though. Your ideal compliments don't sound especially 1ish, and other fours have echoed that here as well. (But maybe, just BEING a four, your ideal compliments would necessarily be unique to each of you - even if you are all fours. :laugh:)

But this:
I don't know what the perfect compliment for an 8 would be but someone once said I was "passionate" and "compassionate". It is probably the best compliment I've had. I still remember them speaking the words and that was about 7 years ago.

8-->2. That's what it sounds like to me.

I'd be interested to know if this has already been covered somewhere in enneagram literature. Admittedly, I don't know much about it, but this seems like something that'd be sort of obvious.
 

wolfy

awsm
Joined
Jun 30, 2008
Messages
12,251
I think coming from a nine angle I like compliments about how my nature affects the emotional atmosphere. Calm and active. There are others I like but they seem more Se/Fi.
 

SilkRoad

Lay the coin on my tongue
Joined
May 26, 2009
Messages
3,932
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I'm not sure if these are 6 things, and in some respects they are more reassurance than compliments. But I like:

-You're very kind
-You have good friends around you because you are a good friend to them
-The fact that X person treated you badly/unkindly/thoughtlessly is much more to do with them, than with you - there is nothing wrong with you
-You're a strong person, but I know that sometimes you just want to lean on someone else instead of being strong for other people all the time.

Dammit. I feel like crying now. I'm such an idiot, but I guess I had a rough week. I really want people to lean on. :(
 

Engineer

Dependable Skeleton
Joined
Feb 1, 2011
Messages
625
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I'm not sure if these are 6 things, and in some respects they are more reassurance than compliments. But I like:

-You're very kind
-You have good friends around you because you are a good friend to them
-The fact that X person treated you badly/unkindly/thoughtlessly is much more to do with them, than with you - there is nothing wrong with you
-You're a strong person, but I know that sometimes you just want to lean on someone else instead of being strong for other people all the time.

Dammit. I feel like crying now. I'm such an idiot, but I guess I had a rough week. I really want people to lean on. :(

I know exactly how you feel...
 

the state i am in

Active member
Joined
Feb 12, 2009
Messages
2,475
MBTI Type
infj
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
first thing that comes to mind "i want to be part of your world" and "i believe in you"
 

mochajava

New member
Joined
Jul 28, 2010
Messages
475
MBTI Type
INFJ
I liked this thread. I like sometimes being told that I DID something well -- what about you all? Do you want to be complimented on what you do or who you are?
 

Sunny Ghost

New member
Joined
May 28, 2010
Messages
2,396
^more on who i am, i think... though things i did well are nice compliments as well. especially if it's in an arena i feel insecure about.
 

highlander

Administrator
Staff member
Joined
Dec 23, 2009
Messages
26,562
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I liked this thread. I like sometimes being told that I DID something well -- what about you all? Do you want to be complimented on what you do or who you are?

Definitely who I am. What I did is in the past.
 
Top