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help skylights type herself? <3

OH GOOD A POLL

  • 2w3

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • 3 (w2 or w4)

    Votes: 2 40.0%
  • 4 (w3 or w5)

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • 6w7

    Votes: 1 20.0%
  • 7w6

    Votes: 2 40.0%

  • Total voters
    5

Speed Gavroche

Whisky Old & Women Young
Joined
Oct 20, 2008
Messages
5,152
MBTI Type
EsTP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
From Helen Palmer's book:

3s and 7s are look-a-like. 7s have a lot of energy and work hard as long as they see are inrested in. At first glance they may look like 3s: they look for competition, are interested with victory and concerned about the reflection of their excellence in the sight of others. Even if 7s and 3s look similars from an outside point of view, they are actually driven by very different worldviews.

7s, sitting on the same bench at the forefront of Competition, are engaged in "one meaningful activity, one among many others." They also want to be highly esteemed by others, but not in a form of any power over them. They do not like to be labeled according to their profession. "To tell that I'm physicist is limitating, I am very much more than that." Their idea is to excel in many activities. "I run, I cook, I write poems, I know everything." They are less likely to reach the top, especially if it take too much time or force them to confront those who've not a good opinion about them. They want to know they have been selected to join the group of the best, but are not always willing to limit their other interests to reach the top rank. "I know I'm capable but I don't need to prove my value. " They work several days in a row to earn their money allowing them to escape, rather than to buy the car of their dreams. Proof of success is to have done a lot of fascinating things and to have reached the summit without allowing himself to be trapped by commitments.

The psychological difference between the workaholic 3 and the 7 very much more narcissistic lies in that, for 3s, their value is based on a deserved personal success. His true self may not exist, but his identity card exists. He's focused on the perfection of his work, because his value in the sight of others depends of the brilliant achievement of a task. As his reward lies not in the well-being, but the power to inspire respect from others, he works much harder than it would want.

The 7, also eager that people to have a good opinion of him, consider their own self-esteem as an accurate reflection of his inner value. He do not need to constantly make efforts because "life is beautiful and I am happy to be who I am." if others do not recognize his merits, he turned himself to seek comfort in denial and rationalizing it by saying he is not responsible for this. His ego has as many dimensions as there are ways to play. Wrong time can be erased with a walk in the countryside, a good book, a large sun, a cup of hot tea. Somehow, the 7 suffers less than the 3 from the indifference of others, because they keep company with themselves and are convinced of their bright destiny.
 

Chloe

New member
Joined
May 1, 2009
Messages
2,196
Still betting and giving my kidney if i am wrong :yim_rolling_on_the_
I mean, what bad can happen? Chances I will need my other kidney in a lifetime are really really low (thank you, my good kidney genes!), some ill person will get well, skylights will know herself and i will figure how little of enneagram i still know which will be intriguing so i will continue to learn

^^^ that is the worst case scenario. Imagine others. :laugh:
 

the state i am in

Active member
Joined
Feb 12, 2009
Messages
2,475
MBTI Type
infj
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
skylights said:
that's cool about the so/sx "flow".

and yeah, that sounds a lot like me too. i do get kinda 1ish when i'm stressed out... i tend to retreat into myself and freak out mentally by hiding from the real world.

i dunno, how do you separate 7w6 from 6w7? maybe 7w6 explains why i don't feel well-described by the 6's positive adjectives, but i do feel fairly accurately described by the 7's...

hm. i would definitely say i'm 3w4, if i'm a 3, but i don't do that reverting to polish thing... when i get nervous i get very self-conscious. it's not like going into a shell as much as being too open, really. i've had to work a lot on maintaining professionalism, because i tend to open up and be gushy (i mean i am an ENFP). when i'm really stressed out i can be kind of cold to others and very avoidant, which i associated with 9, but i dunno. i definitely do try to be seen in a good light, but i almost feel like it's more like the 6's desire for inclusion than the 3's need to be on top. though i do have this sort of embarrassing habit of checking up on the most successful students at my high school, to make sure they're not doing "better" than me (succeeding at things i would like to succeed at). i can't tell if it's a sort of 6 thing or a 3 thing though, because in some ways i'm looking for what direction i should take... for example, the most achieving girl in my high school is now a business consultant, and suddenly i really am not as envious of her anymore, because i would really hate that job. i mean it still annoys me a little, because i know she's continuing to overachieve and will probably be a CEO and philanthropist by 30 (she is DEFINITELY a 3w2), but her job kind of takes the edge off because it's not the direction i want to go in. but at the same time, that's kind of unfortunate, because that doesn't help me at all figure out what i want to do. she can't be a sort of guidepost for me anymore. i guess because i tend to idolize people like that, i have this tendency to feel like i'm always running after someone in my accomplishments. i don't know. the more i think about it the more i relate to 6, but i have a strong connection to both types. i've seen 3s called vain though, and i'm really not. i'm actually quite insecure, at least lately. whatever it is in the enneagram that i grow to, i become much more self-assured and self-centered when i grow. if i had to choose a neurosis i would probably be dependent or histrionic. that's why i'm so confused about integration/disintegration, because if i could make my own pattern, i'd say i'm a 6 who integrates to 3 and disintegrates to 9

sx is usually more power hungry. they want what they want when they want it. so is more dutiful. the image conscious is more focused on finding a great place/position in the group rather than conquering the group. the self-definition is different. i want to be recognized without respect to my place in the group. i want that recognition to triumph over my relationship to the group. i hate being constrained by the group. i want what i want and get really impatient/frustrated when i can't get it.

3s are image conscious, but that's not the whole of it. it's more about being kinesthetically aware and being able to see themselves through the eyes of others and then construct themselves through that mirror. i've never met a primary e3 who was an Fi type. the 7s are looser, they win you over with a totally different kind of charisma. 3s know what you want and how to give it to you. 7s know how to be so fun that you can't say no, that you start dancing with them too. so types are more socially conscious in terms of trends, wider variable distributions of culture, etc. 3s know how to see themselves through your eyes. and they know how to tell a story that that gives others exactly what they want, that knows how to perfectly manipulate their experience. that's why the negative side of e3 is about deceit. the negative side of e7 is loaf time and not sticking it out when things get tough. e7s (especially 7w6s) are extremely open. 3w4s have a wall. the 4 image consciousness produces a hyper-aware feeling of performance, knowing that the icons of performance can be arbitrary and groundless, and creating a kind of self-schism between show/hide. the 7w6s so/sx types know how to work a room and get people going, their sense of performance is great, but their self-critique is more about standards and not meeting standards (and being dutiful to others for w6) than it is about feeling fake, deceitful, and being trapped in a feeling of being fundamentally different and unlovable as a result (the envy, the why am i not like them, the i need to be loved at all times because i cannot love or accept myself, drama queen kind of quality--strongest with sx types; it's my wing too, and it sucks!).
 
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