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What Each Type Looks for in a Relationship - & What Interferes

Chloe

New member
Joined
May 1, 2009
Messages
2,196
2 things for me, as type 3, have been major issue in relationships

- deceit - i used to pretend too much at the beginning, not completely conscously.
if someone hurts me i can pretend he didnt and say something rude back to him

this is not an issue once i am intimate with person. i lose all masks


- running away from my feelings. by doing thing. planning million actins to solve problems instead of being emotionally present. i am learning this with people because i can be very tense and force change, speed up things just to get results
 

Hopelandic

Permabanned
Joined
Dec 13, 2009
Messages
232
MBTI Type
me
2 things for me, as type 3, have been major issue in relationships

- deceit - i used to pretend too much at the beginning, not completely conscously.
if someone hurts me i can pretend he didnt and say something rude back to him

this is not an issue once i am intimate with person. i lose all masks


- running away from my feelings. by doing thing. planning million actins to solve problems instead of being emotionally present. i am learning this with people because i can be very tense and force change, speed up things just to get results

In what ways do you pretend? when you lose the mask, how much of a different person are you? how much does your SO have to adjust to this 'revealing'?
 

Moiety

New member
Joined
Aug 3, 2008
Messages
5,996
MBTI Type
ISFJ
Type Seven
What they look for
Stimulation, adventure, excitement, variety.
What gets in the way
Insisting on postponing making commitments. Manipulates by staying upbeat and hyperactive and by insisting that others meet their demands for gratification.

Type Eight
What they look for
Dependability, loyalty, strength, sexual compatibility.
What gets in the way
Insisting on maintaining control of others. Manipulates by dominating others and by demanding that others do as they say.

I'm an 8w7 but I'd never want to control anyone. At the same time, I wouldn't want to be the beacon of strength of the relationship, so in that sense I definitely look for strength in a partner. I need to know they can fend for themselves in the real world to feel at peace. Loyalty is also very important, since it also tells me that they are strong enough to be impervious to what also goes on in the outside world, to an extent.

The 7 aspects are true to me, but I have no trouble making commitments at an emotional level. I have trouble unmaking them. I might obsess a little about knowing my partner is having fun while with me, so the second sentence is definitely true. Nothing I hate more than feeling I'm boring my partner.
 

Chloe

New member
Joined
May 1, 2009
Messages
2,196
In what ways do you pretend? when you lose the mask, how much of a different person are you? how much does your SO have to adjust to this 'revealing'?

i didnt notice, or hear from people i am intimate with, that they were surprised once i put off my masks: they didnt even know i did that. its something i know when it's off when it's on. actually, of course it's spectrum.
i dont know your type but i think all people can relate to that but just comparing to my non-3 friends with me, and other 3s, it's bigger.

pretend hah ? dunno.. hmm... maybe to be happier than i am. not sure now. it changed a lot recently so i'd have to think about it to remember how it was, or what was i thinking when i was writing that previous post
 

Giggly

No moss growing on me
Joined
Jun 12, 2008
Messages
9,661
MBTI Type
iSFj
Enneagram
2
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Just saw this thread for the first time now. Good work, OrangeAppled. These ring true to me.
 

You

New member
Joined
Jun 8, 2010
Messages
2,124
MBTI Type
entp
Enneagram
7w8
I'm a 7w8 thru and thru, even combining the 7 and 8 here.
 
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