inwards vs outwards enneagram type?

[slowriot]

Quote below is a post I made on a different forum.

So I was talking to someone from PC about enneagram on ventrilo last night and I had some thoughts on it. This idea has some lacking thoughts so Im not saying it is perfect.

I have a basic problem with the test. Its not just this test but basically a lot other tests. That there seems to be an inwards behavior and an outwards behavior. My thoughts are basically in correlation with The Johari Window where you have a known self but not known to others (here inwards self) and a known self that is also known to others (the outwards self). Basically if I use myself as an example I have an outwards apperance of 9w8 and an inwards self of 5w6. This problem seems to be something that I have seen in many that have a hard time figuring out their motive for as an example why and how they do things. That these processes hinders them coming to a certain conclusion of what personality they are. Even for myself. And that seems to be a basic problem that I have not with my knowledge of enneagram - which might not be much - have seen adressed.

So I have in the meanwhile been reading up on enneagram and specifically read the descriptions of type 5 and type 9 from the revised version of "Personality Types" by Don Riso and Russ Hudson.

I understand that most of what I say here has been adressed in that book and that it describes both an inwards and outwards approach. But I have difficulty to still figuring out which type I am, basically when I adress this problem. I can see alot of 9 behavior in my outwards face to the world and how I want to treat people especially on level 3, 4 and 5 but dont see alot of the inwards behavior in me that the type 9 experience. While I see a lot of myself in the inwards of the type 5 but not much in the outwards approach.

It might just be me but this complex might be explained better with sp/so/sx than what my understanding of the enneagram is. I just seem to have a hard time indentifying my type. I have the placid feelings of a 9 inwards but I tend to flow from different states all the time, but consciously try to control myself to the placid state of mine. But I also search myself and criticize myself and my feelings and try consciously to improve myself. Which might be a healthy 9 approach as much as an average 5.