User Tag List

12 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 13

  1. #1
    Tempbanned
    Join Date
    Jan 2018
    MBTI
    ISTP
    Enneagram
    954 so/sp
    Socionics
    SLI Te
    Posts
    6,175

    Default Instinctual Variants tard moments

    There is a thread for MBTI sensotard moments and it's pretty fun but I wanted to make one for Ennneagram's IV's.

    My IV-tard moment of the day is wanting to navigate certain group dynamics and climb but not knowing how. I prefer groups over 1 on 1 these days, depending on the group, but I can get insecure about my place within it if I don't see myself as being as well-liked as others. I'm not insecure about myself from it, just insecure about my position in it. It's stupid that I care so much and I will sometimes opt for the black sheep / lone wolf role, maintaining a certain aloof independence, just because it's my comfort zone. I'm not really accepting that from myself though, I'm forcing myself out of it and seeing it as a challenge.

    Feel free to be silly or not as "vulnerable" as I was here (or most would call it vulnerable, I do not feel vulnerable). This is just an Enneagram version of this thread: Sensotard moments

  2. #2
    Senior Member Pessimistic Hippie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2020
    MBTI
    ISFP
    Enneagram
    469 sx/sp
    Socionics
    ESI Fi
    Posts
    624

    Default

    First thing that comes to mind is when one of my exes and I were in the car with a group of his friends some years back. I was a huge homebody back then and didn't realize that socializing meant finding a way to talk to the entire group. So I kept only pointing out things to him the whole time and wondered why he was being so short with me, completely unaware of what the people around us were doing.

    Later on when I was worried I did something wrong and asked him why he was being so different, he explained. xD
    "If only sounds were words."

    4w5 ∙ 6w7 ∙ 9w1

    True Neutral | FEVL | Melancholic
    Likes Klaus V., Enigma, SirCanSir liked this post

  3. #3
    Member Klaus V.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2018
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    5w4 sp/sx
    Posts
    64

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Pessimistic Hippie View Post
    First thing that comes to mind is when one of my exes and I were in the car with a group of his friends some years back. I was a huge homebody back then and didn't realize that socializing meant finding a way to talk to the entire group. So I kept only pointing out things to him the whole time and wondered why he was being so short with me, completely unaware of what the people around us were doing.

    Later on when I was worried I did something wrong and asked him why he was being so different, he explained. xD
    I can relate a lot to this. My childhood friend once told me that sometimes when we are in social situations I act as if everyone else were NPCs except for him. Not something I'm particularly proud of, but most of the time I don't see the value in treating others just as I treat my friends/close ones. Sometimes I just don't have the energy to focus on that many people, and being in a group almost always stresses me out unless I'm familiar with everyone, but even then, I might not be fully comfortable.
    Likes Enigma, Pessimistic Hippie, SirCanSir liked this post

  4. #4
    Senior Member SirCanSir's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2020
    MBTI
    hmm
    Enneagram
    hmm sp/sx
    Socionics
    LIE Ni
    Posts
    191

    Default

    I used to have an issue with focusing too much to one person to the point i would miss the chance to get to know the rest of the group when i participated. I also find myself having issues to fit in the dynamics because of it. Ive always had a hard time at adapting to the group's "character" when i tried. That said I think i had awareness of the dynamics or atleast I grew to be very observant of those. So i usually can understand who is the mobilizing element of the group, i just hardly care enough to let it affect me. But because of that lack of interest in adapting to a group's mood my usual approach is either to ignore certain individuals by focusing on the more interesting ones or to change the pace myself to maintain interest. When in energetic mood i go for the second option, otherwise ill stick to what is the most comfortable to me - which is ignoring the group.
    𝔗𝔥𝔢 𝔬𝔫𝔢 𝔴𝔥𝔬 𝔪𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔰 𝔥𝔦𝔪𝔰𝔢𝔩𝔣 𝔦𝔰 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔱𝔯𝔲𝔢 𝔪𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯 𝔬𝔣 𝔥𝔦𝔰 𝔩𝔦𝔣𝔢.
    Likes Froody Blue Gem liked this post

  5. #5
    Senior Member SirCanSir's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2020
    MBTI
    hmm
    Enneagram
    hmm sp/sx
    Socionics
    LIE Ni
    Posts
    191

    Default

    i think the only alternative to my variants is Sx/sp but im probably too contained to type as that. Besides i definitely dont want to be the "teenage girl in love" type.
    𝔗𝔥𝔢 𝔬𝔫𝔢 𝔴𝔥𝔬 𝔪𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔰 𝔥𝔦𝔪𝔰𝔢𝔩𝔣 𝔦𝔰 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔱𝔯𝔲𝔢 𝔪𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯 𝔬𝔣 𝔥𝔦𝔰 𝔩𝔦𝔣𝔢.
    Likes Enigma liked this post

  6. #6
    Tempbanned
    Join Date
    Jan 2018
    MBTI
    ISTP
    Enneagram
    954 so/sp
    Socionics
    SLI Te
    Posts
    6,175

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by SirCanSir View Post
    Besides i definitely dont want to be the "teenage girl in love" type.
    Lmao, now I'm going to start typing you as this.

  7. #7
    Senior Member SirCanSir's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2020
    MBTI
    hmm
    Enneagram
    hmm sp/sx
    Socionics
    LIE Ni
    Posts
    191

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Aerix View Post
    Lmao, now I'm going to start typing you as this.
    Time to plot murder.
    𝔗𝔥𝔢 𝔬𝔫𝔢 𝔴𝔥𝔬 𝔪𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔰 𝔥𝔦𝔪𝔰𝔢𝔩𝔣 𝔦𝔰 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔱𝔯𝔲𝔢 𝔪𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯 𝔬𝔣 𝔥𝔦𝔰 𝔩𝔦𝔣𝔢.
    Likes Enigma liked this post

  8. #8
    Senior Member GoggleGirl17's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    MBTI
    ISFP
    Enneagram
    478 so/sx
    Posts
    437

    Default

    Sometimes I feel caught between so and sx. Usually when I meet people, I notice that they tend to lean towards one or the other, so whichever one that is, I indulge that instinct because I assume that's their preferred communication style. What I struggle with is how to bridge the gap when a relationship starts off light, but then I get the sense that the other person wants to be more vulnerable, or when it starts off heavy, but I worry that I'm not giving them enough room to be playful. It feels like my responsibility to balance out the other person's energy so the interactions aren't too heavy in one element, but I'm worried about putting them in an uncomfortable position if I try to do this. Yet if I don't do this, then I feel like I'm holding them back, so establishing intimacy can be tricky for me.
    Likes Enigma liked this post

  9. #9
    Tempbanned
    Join Date
    Jan 2018
    MBTI
    ISTP
    Enneagram
    954 so/sp
    Socionics
    SLI Te
    Posts
    6,175

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Enigma View Post
    There is a thread for MBTI sensotard moments and it's pretty fun but I wanted to make one for Ennneagram's IV's.

    My IV-tard moment of the day is wanting to navigate certain group dynamics and climb but not knowing how. I prefer groups over 1 on 1 these days, depending on the group, but I can get insecure about my place within it if I don't see myself as being as well-liked as others. I'm not insecure about myself from it, just insecure about my position in it. It's stupid that I care so much and I will sometimes opt for the black sheep / lone wolf role, maintaining a certain aloof independence, just because it's my comfort zone. I'm not really accepting that from myself though, I'm forcing myself out of it and seeing it as a challenge.

    Feel free to be silly or not as "vulnerable" as I was here (or most would call it vulnerable, I do not feel vulnerable). This is just an Enneagram version of this thread: Sensotard moments
    I grow too fast. Already got over this.

  10. #10
    ARMY fatgurl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2021
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    9w1
    Socionics
    LII Ne
    Posts
    115

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Enigma View Post
    There is a thread for MBTI sensotard moments and it's pretty fun but I wanted to make one for Ennneagram's IV's.

    My IV-tard moment of the day is wanting to navigate certain group dynamics and climb but not knowing how. I prefer groups over 1 on 1 these days, depending on the group, but I can get insecure about my place within it if I don't see myself as being as well-liked as others. I'm not insecure about myself from it, just insecure about my position in it. It's stupid that I care so much and I will sometimes opt for the black sheep / lone wolf role, maintaining a certain aloof independence, just because it's my comfort zone. I'm not really accepting that from myself though, I'm forcing myself out of it and seeing it as a challenge.

    Feel free to be silly or not as "vulnerable" as I was here (or most would call it vulnerable, I do not feel vulnerable). This is just an Enneagram version of this thread: Sensotard moments
    Wow, the statements in bold are exactly what I'm like. What's your instinctual stacking? I'm confused about whether or not I could possibly be so blind since I'm socially anxious.
    Chronic "grass is always greener" syndrome
    Likes Enigma liked this post

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO