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  1. #1
    Junior Member
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    Question Am I a SP 3, SP 4, or a 7?

    I have read several books including, “The Complete Enneagram”, “Understanding the Enneagram”, and “Discovering Your Personality Type.” I also regularly listen to the Typeology podcast and The Art of Growth podcast.
    I thought for sure I was a self pres 3w4. However, the more I learn about the 3 and other types I keep second-guessing myself. Here is why….
    I am an extremely hard worker, my husband calls me a workaholic, I have a terribly hard time “spending time” with my family because I feel like I could be getting something accomplished. I'm constantly looking up ways to be more productive but often have way too many things going on at once.
    This is where it gets confusing… Some of the things I have noticed about myself that I don’t understand are for one, I am an EXTREMELY generous person, I will literally give anyone anything if I am able. There have been countless times that I come across a post on facebook from someone that has lost everything and I will literally raid my house and pack up as much as I can and take it to them, perfect strangers. I also have a very hard time telling anyone no and have a huge conscience. I feel guilty very easily.
    Another thing is I care very much about how I am perceived to people. I get embarrassed very easily, and I absolutely HATE being wrong.
    I am SUPER independent to the point that when looking for something in a store I refuse to ask for help. I am not even remotely a touchy-feely type of person which drives my husband (who is a 2) crazy. I usually don’t like to talk about my feelings, and always have to have time to process them before I can do anything. I am also very impatient.
    I don’t have a lot of friends and am terrible at keeping in touch with people. I get along with people just fine but definitely don’t seek them out. (Unlike my husband who can spend an hour talking to a stranger he meets in line at the gas station)
    I am super into personal development and understanding why I am the way I am. I'm always trying to better myself. I was a server for about 10 years then became a manager, I’ve been in sales and about 2 years ago started my own organizing business.
    I’m a terrible procrastinator, I’m terrified of appearing “stupid”, to the point that I have a hard time calling people at times.
    I feel the need to research absolutely everything and have to have all the facts before I can make any kind of decision. Especially when it comes to buying anything. It took me 4 months to decide on which computer to buy.
    The only reason I'm not sure about being a 3 is that I don't feel like I work so hard to get people to like me. If anything, its to prove to myself that I can do it. I became a mom at a young age and am absolutely determined to not be another statistic. The other thing is that when I was younger I rebelled constantly. Basically, if I was told that I couldn't do something, that is probably what I was going to do. I didn't like to get in trouble though, but often did.
    I’m sure there is more but that’s all I can think of, off the top of my head. It's driving me crazy, I want to work on myself and grow and be a better wife and mother and I feel like I’m just lost. Any help would be much appreciated

  2. #2
    ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙* ˚* Luminous's Avatar
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    First, deep breath. Just the fact that you're making an effort to be a good wife and mother means you're doing something to be proud of!

    Second, would you be willing to fill this out New Questionnaire To Fill Out!, and post it here?

    Making a collage of images that appeal to you could also be helpful.
    Likes Kellyrae18 liked this post

  3. #3
    Saprophytic Aphrodite Peter Deadpan's Avatar
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    Generosity isn't something that can be categorized into the Enneagram, so I wouldn't hyperfocus on that. Actually, I'm not seeing anything that would eliminate Sp 3 for you. Self-preservation 3s are the workaholics of the Enneagram. They want to know how to do things and to do them well, preferably better than anyone else.

    I'm pretty sure that Will Smith's character in The Pursuit of Happyness is a self-preservation 3 (Sp/So). His entire goal was to be the best damn provider he could be for his son, no matter what obstacle, and to never, ever be a failure. He certainly didn't look like some phony showman trying to be in the spotlight either.
    Perpetual mood


    "It is not the personality's task to tell the truth,
    but to seem to, try to, or try to seem to."


    Philip Trussell

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  4. #4
    Da Voodoo Boogie man's Avatar
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    6w5 sp/sx
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    The subtype of Self Preservation 3 is sometimes referred to as the "counter-type" 3. Of course, it doesn't actually run counter to the type at all, but it does run against the stereotyped view of the type 3 individual who works for approval and status. That would be the stereotypical Social 3. The Self Preservation 3 is more into building up the self to be(come) the best one can be, indeed to prove it to themselves that they can do it. To be super-man or super-woman. I think what you wrote is a great example of type 3, and I agree with the other poster that I see nothing in your post that contradicts this typing.
    Likes Peter Deadpan, Kellyrae18 liked this post

  5. #5
    Junior Member
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    1) Context:
    a) What is your age range and general location (Country so that cultural values can be taken into account)? Do you have any impairments that may affect the way that you answer this questionnaire? Any religious or political beliefs (or anything else along those lines) that also might have an effect?
    - Just turned 30 TODAY
    - South Dakota
    - No impairments
    - No extremely strong beliefs, consider myself a Christian but don't go to church

    b) Which types are you currently considering? Why are you considering them and why haven’t you decided on one?

    - SP 3- I am an extremely hard worker, my husband calls me a workaholic, I have a terribly hard time “spending time” with my family because I feel like I could be getting something accomplished. I'm constantly looking up ways to be more productive but often have way too many things going on at once. I care very much about how I am perceived by people. I get embarrassed very easily, and I absolutely HATE being wrong. I am SUPER independent to the point that when looking for something in a store I refuse to ask for help. I am not even remotely a touchy-feely type of person which drives my husband (who is a 2) crazy. I usually don’t like to talk about my feelings, and always have to have time to process them before I can do anything. I am also very impatient.
    I originally thought this was my type however, looking back on when I was younger, I was not very 3-like at all. If anything I was probably more of a 4, granted I'm sure that was partly due to hormones. But I don't recall ever "being loved for what I did." My mom made it super clear that she would love me no matter what. And I definitely didn't try to please, I was a trouble maker, always getting into trouble one way or another. My Mom has always said that I ALWAYS take the hard road. Also, up until probably about 5 years ago, it seemed like I was always depressed. I have countless notebooks full of extremely depressing poems. Obviously I understand that any type can be depressed which is part of the confusion. I don't feel like I do things to get the approval of others if anything it's to get the approval from myself.
    Also, I had a phone consult with one of the hosts from the Art of Growth podcast and I did a test and he told me that I scored highest for type 3, however, the 2 and 4 were the ones I scored the lowest on so he thought it was unlikely that I am a 3. 7 was the second highest and then 5.

    - Type 7- So when I first read about type 7 I thought, no possible way. I do not see myself as childlike at all. I became a mom very young and therefore had to grow up very fast. Which makes me come back to the 3 with the whole, sacrificing their heart’s desires at a young age to live up to the ideals of their culture. I have always been very mature for my age for as far back as I can remember.
    I also don't try to turn negatives into positives. Generally, I just try to avoid negatives as much as I possibly can. I wouldn't consider myself spontaneous but my mom argued that I am because I started my own business.
    But then I listened to the 7 panel.... it blew my mind! I could relate to soooo much! I absolutely can't stand someone telling me how to do something, to the point that I will do it a different way just because. I avoid conflict in every way possible.
    I bounce around from one project to the next and often have several projects that I have started but not finished. I get distracted easily and am a terrible procrastinator.
    I could definitely see myself being a head type because I tend to overthink everything. I research stuff TO DEATH! I also always need time to think about my feelings before I really know how I feel. I absolutely LOVE figuring out "puzzles" I'm a professional organizer and I've always said Tetris was my all-time favorite game.

    2) What do you deem as your purpose in life?
    - Not really sure I guess... I do know that when I'm old I want to be able to look back on my life and feel like I DID something with it. That I have something to be proud of.

    3) Of the seven deadly sins, which one(s) do you relate to the most and the least and why?
    - Probably relate most to either Pride or envy and least with Sloth

    4) Analyzing your relationships with others, briefly describe:

    a) The type of people you are drawn to- Attractive, Popular, Fun, Respectful

    b) The type of people who are drawn to you- Not sure

    c) The type of people you are repulsed by- Indecent, Shameless, Immoral, Disrespectful

    5)What are the traits in others that you admire but you cannot emulate yourself? Elaborate.

    - Confidence, for example, I have a friend that is a striper, and aside from the fact that my parents would KILL me, I still could NEVER do that. I would absolutely DIE if I was on stage and someone I went to school with came in!
    - Self Disciplined, I have a really hard time making myself do some of the things that I need to do, for example, bookkeeping
    -Challenging, for example, my husband will fight with customer service to get what he wants, I will usually just accept what they say and deal with it

    6) Describe your relationship with the following:

    a) Anger- Rare, obviously I can get angry but when I do I typically isolate myself and try to determine what it is that I am truly angry about

    b) Shame- Often, I have an extremely guilty conscience. I hate to feel like I am in any way a bad mom or wife

    c) Fear- Just of random things like spiders, icy roads, and small spaces

    d) Love/passion- Not nearly as "loving" as my husband would like.

    e) Conflict- Hate it. I try to avoid it as much as possible

    7) What are some of the themes that have played a prominent role in your life (ie. A struggle you’ve been unable to conquer, ect)?
    - I struggle maintaining friendships

    8) Answer only one of the following:
    a) [College aged and above] What is your area of work/study? Why did you choose this and would you change it? If so, what would be your ideal?
    - I am a Professional Organizer and a Reseller. I started my own business about 3 years ago and I absolutely love it.

    b)[Under college aged] What do you plan on studying/working as in the future? How did you go about deciding this? If this is not your ideal area of pursuit, what would be?

    9) When meeting a new person, what do you tend to focus on?
    - No idea

    10) How do you feel about humanity as a whole? What do you feel are some of the biggest problems the human race faces and why?
    - People are way to judgemental and paranoid about everything

    11) What are some of your hobbies and interests?
    - Shopping, Painting, Woodworking, Personal Development, Organizing, Jewelry making, Sewing, Reading, Coin Collecting, Metal Detecting

    13) How do you usually “hang out” with your friend(s)? When answering, think about what activities you tend to choose, whether you hang out with one person at once or many, whether or not you initiate the interaction.
    - I basically have one friend, I'm terrible at keeping in touch with people. I have like 5,000 facebook friends but hardly any real friends. I have always gotten along much better with males. I feel like girls are often too catty and back-stabbing

    14) What is more important, actions or words? Why?
    - Actions, they speak louder

    15) Oh dear, you’ve been cursed by a witch! It’s ok though, you get a choice on which curse you will receive. Will you choose….
    a) To never be able to experience the sensation of taste
    b) To be immortal - this one, because the other ones sound terrible!
    c) To lose your memories
    d) To be poor for the rest of your life
    e) Or to never experience passion
    Elaborate on why!

    16) What do you hope to avoid being? If it helps, describe a person who embodies what you avoid/you as a villain, ect.
    - I have a terrible fear of being nothing, doing nothing with my life, never making anything of myself

    17) How do you relate to obsession? Do you tend to "merge" with others or your interests? How do you feel about the idea of doing this?
    - I have always preferred to be a leader vs. a follower. I like things to be my idea

    18) Organized or messy? Plans and blueprints or impulse and surprises? What are you preferences and tendencies?
    - I can be very messy, however, everything has a place and it is easy to clean up. I prefer plans, I like to have some idea of what is going to happen

    19) How do you subjectively view comfort and how do you create comfort in your life and surroundings?
    - I suppose to me comfort would relate much to being financially comfortable

  6. #6
    ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙* ˚* Luminous's Avatar
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    Happy Birthday!!!

    I think you are probably a 3, either sp/so or so/sp (a collage might be helpful in narrowing that down). I would guess there's a 1w9 or 9w1 in your tritype (both 9 and 1 feel rather strong as you are both conflict avoidant and seem quite clear on what you consider to be correct and holding yourself to a high standard). I'm not sure on the heart... I think it may be 3ish tendency to adapt to opportunities - therefore going from project to project - rather than 7, that you see.
    Likes Kellyrae18 liked this post

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