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[Traditional Enneagram] Am I an 8w9?

Chase123

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I always score as an 8, but...Hmmm....

- I'm described as having a usually subdued, intimidating, mysterious, calm demeanor. However, I can also be warmer, energetic and excitable. I am usually very guarded, but I love to find people who I can open up my to and reveal my warmer and softer side. I really tend to alternate between a tough, intimidating loner to energetic, warmer people person. This mostly stems from not wanting to depend on a social 'group' and to be seen as independent, in charge of my own self (I walk to my own drum). As someone who isn't the biggest guy, I usually assert myself by understanding body language that projects confidence and in charge-ness.

- I'm always questioning if what I do is confident and authoritative. I want people to respect me, even if it's more of a fearful, I'll leave you alone kind of respect. I'm not confrontational, but I can be aggressive and willing to punch if I feel attacked. I'd rather stand my ground and lose a fight, than to feel weak by rejecting conflict.

- I hate the thought of losing control, power, and being hopeless in the face of evil. I'm very protective of the people I love. If someone hurt my friend badly, I would go straight to them and beat the crap out of them.

- I have problems with anger. ''This jock is acting so cocky and I feel threatened, I just want to punch him!'' But at the same time, I don't like it, I do not feel comfortable with it, but more-so do it to maintain control.

- I question if I'm an 8, because I don't see myself as power hungry, always looking for conflict to get their way. I'm more of someone who likes to be calm but can blow up like a volcano if the right buttons are pushed.
 

RadicalDoubt

Alongside Questionable Clarity
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You sound as though you could potentially be an 8w9, however there's a couple of things in here that make me question that... It may be worth considering 9w8 even if you don't score super high on 9, you do sound fairly relaxed for an 8 core and also 8 is probably one of the more common mistypes. Same goes with cp6 core, as that type also focuses a lot of becoming and being very independent and has a more aggressive/assertive edge that can make it look a lot like 8 superficially. Nonetheless, I have a coupe of clarifying questions that may help you figure things out:

1) What is your relationship to the concept of vulnerability? What makes you feel vulnerable and how do you deal with such feelings if at all?

2) Describe your anger and how it manifests. Does it tend to be relatively defensive rather than offensive or can it go both ways? Would you ever say that your anger is primarily used to maintain boundaries and bring security rather than something that's worth indulging in often or does it mean more than that to you? How hard is your anger to control?

3)
- I have problems with anger. ''This jock is acting so cocky and I feel threatened, I just want to punch him!'' But at the same time, I don't like it, I do not feel comfortable with it, but more-so do it to maintain control.
Stupid question, the quote represents your own internal thought process, correct? What about anger makes you uncomfortable in particular? Under what circumstances would you quell your anger?

4) Have you ever been told that you have a large presence or tend to be very noticeable or perhaps are you more subdued and drifty [neither is also an option]? Do you ever find that people can become overwhelmed with you and your responses to things because they are larger than necessary or are perhaps too confrontational/speak your mind even when the rules of diplomacy suggest you probably should hold back a little?


Sorry for the relatively vague questions, the more info you provide the easier this should be. Honestly, my gut is telling me you might lean 9w8 over 8w9, but you didn't provide a ton of info to work with.
 

Chase123

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Nonetheless, I have a coupe of clarifying questions that may help you figure things out:
Yeah....I'm not an 8. I'm leaning towards 3w4, cp 6w7, or 7w8. Let me know which ones you see!

) What is your relationship to the concept of vulnerability? What makes you feel vulnerable and how do you deal with such feelings if at all?
With close loved ones, vulnerability is easy. It can sometimes even be a tool for me to use to get me closer or more well liked with someone (For example: ''Yeah, I suck at basketball and fell while trying to shoot a layup!''). However, I usually hate it. I feel that if most people know that I'm vulnerable that I'll be easier to attack and that I'll be dethroned by the social hierarchy. I battle with two sides of me. The side that needs to be in control and tough, and the side of me that wants to be warm and friendly. I want to be tough enough so people know not to mess with me, but also warm enough to get people to laugh and enjoy my presence. It's a weird double edged sword.

2) Describe your anger and how it manifests. Does it tend to be relatively defensive rather than offensive or can it go both ways? Would you ever say that your anger is primarily used to maintain boundaries and bring security rather than something that's worth indulging in often or does it mean more than that to you? How hard is your anger to control?
It pretty much comes when I'm feeling threatened. When I perceive something as a threat, I worry and then react defensively. I'll give an example: Bully: I'll mess you up right now. Me: Your an ass, and a loser, you know that, buddy? *punches* . Memories of feeling weaker as a child come up and haunt me, and I feel my gut pushing me to be in charge and put the bully in their place. I do not indulge in anger for fun, it is a part that I'm ashamed of because of how uncontrollable I get, it's rage and it's unstoppable because it stems from fear.

What about anger makes you uncomfortable in particular? Under what circumstances would you quell your anger?
Because if someone gives me enough reason to be angry then it means doomsday for the person who caused it. In a way, I enjoy being the justice bringer to someone I hate, and it gives me a feeling of chatoic justice because I become kind of a Punisher figure. I would rather be liked by others and have a good reputation, than to be hated for my anger, so if it's for a small thing, I'll let it go, but mess with my inner circle and my image is not on my mind.

Have you ever been told that you have a large presence or tend to be very noticeable or perhaps are you more subdued and drifty [neither is also an option]? Do you ever find that people can become overwhelmed with you and your responses to things because they are larger than necessary or are perhaps too confrontational/speak your mind even when the rules of diplomacy suggest you probably should hold back a little?
Neither. People do find me intimidating, dark, a bit cocky but they also find me well humored and playful. I know it's a weird combination, but it's the best way I can describe it. I'm more protective than confrontational so to speak. I try to be the charismatic, adventurous lone wolf.
 

Tomb1

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9w8 works, social-last. Too much self-questioning for an 8w9, as follows:

I'm always questioning if what I do is confident and authoritative.

Denial in 8s means they aren't questioning themselves about their confidence and authority. They just, kind of, well, assume it.

Nines have core issues with self-doubt which leaves them in a state of self-questioning and seeking out mental re-assurances.

Stackemup Enneagram Description for Enneatype IX

Some peripheral matters:

I always score as an 8, but...Hmmm....

Test scores mean little because tests are based largely on overly-generalized distinctions between types and answers which rely exclusively on self-reporting. Self-reporting is tainted by the ego which has an agenda of its own...as a general rule of thumb, the male ego has a propensity for mistyping as eight, the female ego has a propensity for mistyping as four.

- I'm described as having a usually subdued, intimidating, mysterious, calm demeanor.

Those characteristics line up quite well to the 9w8's tough/contrarian-leisurely gestalt.

Furthermore, given the nine issue with inner clarity, reliance on others' descriptions of self is a hallmark of the nine approach to self-typing.

However, I can also be warmer, energetic and excitable.

That's folded into 9w8's alliance-building.

I am usually very guarded,

Eights have an aggressive gestalt, so 'to fend off' is not part of the action set.

Fending off and guarding fits best with the six's self-protective gestalt.

However, you're too kinesthetically relaxed for the self-protective gestalt.

This is best accounted for through the nine's disintegration point (type 6).

but I love to find people who I can open up my to and reveal my warmer and softer side.

Eights are out of touch with vulnerability and an all-aggressive personality style, so the jekyll and hyde-like split you're presenting with strongly points away from 8.

I really tend to alternate between a tough, intimidating loner to energetic, warmer people person.

I've defined the 9w8's gestalt as the tough/contrarian-leisurely gestalt.

This mostly stems from not wanting to depend on a social 'group' and to be seen as independent, in charge of my own self (I walk to my own drum).

That's part and parcel to the 9w8's contrarian style (who I also nickname "the sheriff"). Also, some social last.

I'm not confrontational,

So that just reinforces the need to exclude 8-1-6 aggressive triad from consideration.

but I can be aggressive and willing to punch if I feel attacked. I'd rather stand my ground and lose a fight, than to feel weak by rejecting conflict.

I have typed and organized nearly 3000 people into nine core types, with wing and stacking, and I can tell you there is no enneagram type whose fixation precludes them from punching somebody in retaliation for an attack. On top of it, you're a guy.

- I hate the thought of losing control, power, and being hopeless in the face of evil. I'm very protective of the people I love. If someone hurt my friend badly, I would go straight to them and beat the crap out of them.

I have defined protectiveness as a core marker for 9w8.

I have problems with anger. ''This jock is acting so cocky and I feel threatened, I just want to punch him!'' But at the same time, I don't like it, I do not feel comfortable with it, but more-so do it to maintain control.

Type 8 is an all-aggressive personality style, so typically low in social charisma. Moreover, eights are very comfortable with being ruthless and aggressive, especially when it comes to bending others to their will.

I question if I'm an 8,

Eights don't question if they are eights to this extent. They get their type right away.

because I don't see myself as power hungry, always looking for conflict to get their way. I'm more of someone who likes to be calm but can blow up like a volcano if the right buttons are pushed.

That reinforces the need to exclude 3-7-8 assertive triad (pushing one's self to the front of the line) from consideration.

Having already addressed your "always self-questioning," the remainder sounds like the passive-aggressive style of 9w8, not the strategic aggression of 8...you're leaving others to walk on eggshells and provoking the environment into having to manage/control your reactions. Remember, nines have a distintegration to type six, so can display some hot-headedness. Keep in mind that anger and aggression are not necessarily the same...the eight temperament typically rises to positions of leadership and competes with confidence in the cut-throat rough and tumble. Part of this pertains to an ability for self-command (eights like to feel masterful in their exercise of power).
 

Chase123

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9w8 works, social-last.
I'm seeing it as well.

Edit: I'm torn between 7w8, 6w7, 3w4 and 9w8. Shit, my self perception is absolutely non-existent.
 

Peter Deadpan

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I'm not convinced you aren't a 6 and I've seen evidence for that in some of your other posts.
 

Peter Deadpan

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Interesting, explain, please.

I'd have to go through your stuff more thoroughly in order to do so (which to be honest, I'm not going to do because I can't even do half the stuff I say I am going to do). I'm just saying that from what I have seen of you, I wouldn't rule it out yet.
 

Peter Deadpan

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You also said you could be confrontational in another thread, for what it's worth.
 

Earl Grey

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Could I even be a 3?

This caught my attention. Skimming through only this thread, I thought you could possibly be a 3, but there are several overlaps that have to be ruled out first, though several are quite impressionistic due to the general lack of information. I have questions.


- I'm described as having a usually subdued, intimidating, mysterious, calm demeanor. However, I can also be warmer, energetic and excitable.
This is how others describe you- how would you describe yourself, and do you agree/disagree with that?


I am usually very guarded, but I love to find people who I can open up my to and reveal my warmer and softer side.
Why are you guarded, what does that get you? Why do you love to find those you open up and reveal to, what does that get you? What will happen if you find none of these?


I really tend to alternate between a tough, intimidating loner to energetic, warmer people person.This mostly stems from not wanting to depend on a social 'group' and to be seen as independent, in charge of my own self (I walk to my own drum). As someone who isn't the biggest guy, I usually assert myself by understanding body language that projects confidence and in charge-ness.
Under what circumstances are these things true? Which is your 'real self', and which are you most relaxed doing? Why do you want to be independent and in charge, to what end? What does that get you, what do you want out of it?


- I'm always questioning if what I do is confident and authoritative. I want people to respect me, even if it's more of a fearful, I'll leave you alone kind of respect. I'm not confrontational, but I can be aggressive and willing to punch if I feel attacked. I'd rather stand my ground and lose a fight, than to feel weak by rejecting conflict.

1) What is conflict to you,
2) Why does 'rejecting conflict' make you feel weak,
3) Can you recall any examples of this?


- I hate the thought of losing control, power, and being hopeless in the face of evil. I'm very protective of the people I love. If someone hurt my friend badly, I would go straight to them and beat the crap out of them.

What is evil? What gives you that sense of losing control, power, and a sense of hopelessness? What motivates you to go 'beat the crap out of' those who hurt your friends badly?


- I have problems with anger. ''This jock is acting so cocky and I feel threatened, I just want to punch him!'' But at the same time, I don't like it, I do not feel comfortable with it, but more-so do it to maintain control.

What is uncomfortable about it? You accomplished what you wanted, no?


- I question if I'm an 8, because I don't see myself as power hungry, always looking for conflict to get their way. I'm more of someone who likes to be calm but can blow up like a volcano if the right buttons are pushed.

As an unrelated note, good question, because anyone blows up if the *right* buttons are pushed. I look forward to your answers.
 

Chase123

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This is how others describe you- how would you describe yourself, and do you agree/disagree with that?
Ideally, I'd describe myself as witty, a bit cocky, attractive, impulsive tough exterior with a hidden soft side underneath, playful, and able to be charismatic. Negatively, I'd describe myself as a hot head, impulsive, vengeful, and arrogant. When others say that I'm calm, the people closest to me and myself, know that I'm hot tempered, I'm good at projecting myself enough to appear calm.

Why are you guarded, what does that get you? Why do you love to find those you open up and reveal to, what does that get you? What will happen if you find none of these?
I'm guarded because I'm afraid of being used, and because I have two 'ideal' identities that I live up to. I can either be the strong, silent type or the outgoing, fun loving guy depending on my mood. I love to be the outgoing guy, because I like the admiration that the role gets me, but I also like being guarded because people know not to mess with me and I can keep a strong image. I love to find people to open up to, because I feel like I'm a actor playing either role and is always acting in a way to project themselves in a certain way! If I don't find people like this, I'm forever trapped in a persona and it can be tiring eventually to say the least.

Under what circumstances are these things true? Which is your 'real self', and which are you most relaxed doing? Why do you want to be independent and in charge, to what end? What does that get you, what do you want out of it?
Real self? This is why I'm on here. I have absolutely no clue who I am, and it scares me how quickly I can change. I can act like a stereotypical ENFJ, to a stereotypical ISTP on a given day! Being independent and in charge is what everyone 'respects' seeing in a male, if I'm able to be this, I'm able to be one step closer to an idealized self, and it also makes me feel safe from the awful things in the world. At the end of the day, I want to feel good and have fun doing exciting things.

1) What is conflict to you,
2) Why does 'rejecting conflict' make you feel weak,
3) Can you recall any examples of this?
1. Conflict to me is a situation where someone is being either illogical or threatening others, and I need to either correct them or stand up for others.
2. As a male, you need to be strong and assertive. Rejecting conflict isn't...Idk, an attractive/admirable feature?
3. Someone says a sassy remark to me in a sports game. I immediately want to put this person in their place and stand up to my strong image, so I tell them to shut up, but after wards, I worry about how my loved ones would think of me, and I use them as my conscience in these situations.

What is evil? What gives you that sense of losing control, power, and a sense of hopelessness? What motivates you to go 'beat the crap out of' those who hurt your friends badly?
Evil to me is anything that wants to harm. I read somewhere a description of a 7w8 that disintegrates to 1, and I relate to it. I have this feeling of vengeance, a need to get back, and a need for revenge. I want to punish you for your actions because this is my sense of justice. Losing control for me is when I'm failing to protect and save people, and my last resort is this twisted 'need for justice'. Beating the crap of someone who hurt my friend is chaotic and reckless justice.

What is uncomfortable about it? You accomplished what you wanted, no?
After this day, people would be looking at me weirdly, as if I was a monster. No one is going to want to even smile at me. Yes, I'm guarded and yes, I can be very social and have people still don't know me, but at the end of the day, being able to feel charismatic enough to get a smile and respect out of people is what I truly want. Winning a fight would make me feel accomplished, but it would also force me to accept another role socially. I feel like when people see your charismatic side, they expect it more, so sometimes it's easier to be guarded in order to not feel pressured by people's expectations.
 

Earl Grey

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I had several thoughts, but now am inclined to 3w2 for you, or at least having 3w2 influence somewhere in your tritype, likely along with some social variant influence.

Throughout your answers, you seem to have deferred expectations or explanations ultimately to the exterior; fulfilling a certain image, being concerned about being admired/loved, which immediately already points to some kind of attachment triad (3, 6, or 9) along with some soc influence, and likely sp second or last due the focus being external rather than something internally driven, or towards a particular, and specific goal. You describe how you are and how you appear, you describe them as-is, without tying them much to what it gives you, so that inclines me to E3 > E6. E3s are indeed goal-oriented, but are more prone to 'image for image's sake' rather than a pre-planning, goal-oriented, procedural "I do X, so that I can acquire (or avoid) Y" thing that head or gut types, especially 6, 7, 8, 1 does.

You seem to find some fulfillment in even the projection of an image as well (even in the admiration), not just what it gets you. A lot of talk about modes and personas that I find is also a feature of certain types, attachment types and types like E2 included (thus me thinking 3w2 for you). More examples; your idea of aggression and masculinity are also derived from the outside, and your behaviour naturally follows 'it isn't masculine to do X', or isn't attractive/admirable, which shows again that you do seem to derive value and fulfillment in being 'admirable' on its own, for its own sake, as well as you making use of a social image in order to navigate life and wade through the social aspect of things (pointing again to E3 and soc). Your answer on what conflict is also points to possibly competency triad (1, 3, 5), 'problem solving' outlook than a reactive one due to the nature of what you define conflict to be- "Conflict to me is a situation where someone is being either illogical or threatening others, and I need to either correct them or stand up for others." Look up what each triad considers conflict, and see if the competency + attachment triad fits you.

I do not think you may be E9 first or second, firstly, because E3 and E6 seem more likely, and because you do seem to have some reactive triad (4, 6, 8) component in you that is strong enough and shows in how you handle and face what you perceive to be conflict- diving in head-on, which is a reactive (4, 6, 8) + expansive (3, 7, 8) triad tendency, as opposed to competency triad / positive outlook triads. Look them up and see how you match up to those triads.
Here;
Triads — Enneagrammer
The Harmony Triads - David Daniels M.D. Website on the Enneagram and Life | David Daniels M.D. Website on the Enneagram and Life


Overall my preliminary guess is 3w2 with soc influence, possibly so/sx, with a reactive component second in your tritype, likely E6 over E8 because your core reasonings / motivations (which is what enneagram is all about) to why you behave in certain ways, aggressive or not, seem to come from an attachment triad (3, 6, 9) basis than an expansive (3, 7, 8) one. The strong reactivity and sense of justice and fear of control that do exist points to some E8 influence, and I think if you are indeed E3 + E6, the remaining blank in your tritype would be E8.

3w2, 6w7, 8w9 so/sx or so/sp for now. Not enough data for variants.

@Chase123
 

Chase123

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I had several thoughts, but now am inclined to 3w2 for you, or at least having 3w2 influence somewhere in your tritype, likely along with some social variant influence.
Thanks for the in depth response. I'm a 3w2 for sure. As a younger teenager, I would see a character that people thought was awesome and embody those traits. It even helped me achieve the fashion and personality that I have today. I get a high off of being seen as charismatic and awesome, the wing wants to be loved and seductive, I'm easily anxious and stressed which comes from the 6, and my chaotic and reactive sense of justice is from the 8 in the triad.

One more thing, on the MBTI spectrum, I've self typed myself as an ExTP with strong, tertiary Fe. Would you agree with this?
 

Earl Grey

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Thanks for the in depth response. I'm a 3w2 for sure. As a younger teenager, I would see a character that people thought was awesome and embody those traits. It even helped me achieve the fashion and personality that I have today. I get a high off of being seen as charismatic and awesome, the wing wants to be loved and seductive, I'm easily anxious and stressed which comes from the 6, and my chaotic and reactive sense of justice is from the 8 in the triad.

One more thing, on the MBTI spectrum, I've self typed myself as an ExTP with strong, tertiary Fe. Would you agree with this?

You're welcome.
(And this is trivial, but points to so/sx more than so/sp- a focus on attraction and the crafting of a sense or state of being as well as a kind of magnetism, a 'high' that you get from the endeavour itself, rather than self pres concerns.)

I am more familiar / better-versed with Enneagram than MBTI, so I can't much except that Fe + possibly being the Perceiver dichotomy did stand out to me in your responses. Your responses are more about 'how' to do things than the why, you seem more oriented to the procedure itself (doing for the sake of doing) than a specific end result the way I find Judgers usually tend to be more naturally oriented to, as well as your descriptions of yourself seem to be 'polled', so to speak, from external standards as well as your focus being more on others and more interpersonal relationships, both of which alone point to Fe, but I wouldn't say conclusively so since your examples are few and specific. Your responses have been more heavy on points to Fe and J VS P than the other dichotomies, I suggest you answering a couple other questionnaires if you want to delve into I/E N/S T/F more.
 
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