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  1. #1
    Can't be satisfied. Peter Deadpan's Avatar
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    Default Why do people mistype as 4 Sx when the descriptions sound so awful?

    It's the most common mistype, and in my opinion the most unappealing type to be. Jealous. Angry. Competitive. Insecure. Dramatic. Emotionally unstable. Hot and cold..... etc etc etc.

    So why do people so willingly type as sexual 4? Why would one want to claim all of those if they didn't have to?
    Perpetual mood


    “Sometimes I think I have felt everything I'm ever gonna feel.
    And from here on out, I'm not gonna feel anything new.
    Just lesser versions of what I've already felt.”


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  2. #2
    Senior Member Novella's Avatar
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    I have no answer for that. I understand intrinsically, how it feels to be misunderstood. Meh, XX years of this carry on and I just grow stronger. Try and do the same. It's not worth the energy.
    Meh, be who you want to be and I'll be who I want to be. No point in fighting over petty transgressions.

  3. #3

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    Low self-esteem, self-hatred?

    Though before you get to the core of it, 4s are prepped up to be super unique snowflakes who are all kinds of magic and misunderstood because they're sooooo special. I suspect the majority of the mistypes don't even get to the negative traits you've listed there and barely scratch the surface before they delude themselves into thinking "that is totally me!".

    We all know how the snowflake syndrome works in typology cough muh INFJ/INFP cough, and this extends to enneagram to varying degrees as well.
    Johari | Nohari

    Moving forward, put aside all unnecessary preconceptions, eliminate all biases, analyze all the facts without letting external influences cloud your better judgement and put together a coherent picture of the truth like a jigsaw puzzle, you have the pieces you need, the only thing left to do is to learn how to put them together properly.
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  4. #4
    Give me a fourth dot. The Tsarevich's Avatar
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    Because I have mistyped this way, this certainly deserves my answer.

    And first let me start by saying you are right: Who would want to be sx4? In fact, who would want to be a 4 at all? (sorry 4s) That was my actual thought process on this matter for many years. I thought 4 was, like, the worst thing anyone could ever possibly be. It totally grossed me out--all whiny and envious and dramatic and ingrown and self-absorbed and pretentious and, well, pathetic.

    It DISGUSTED me that I saw so much of myself in this type and that so many other people (my family and peers) seemed to think I was a 4 as well.

    HORRIFIED me.

    I thought it was foolish and humiliating. And yet, so very much like me.

    Choosing to ignore that niggling feeling you get when you KNOW someone is talking about you, I proceeded to go for about 14 years without declaring a type claiming I had NO IDEA what type I could possibly be.

    Then on another forum everyone tried to tell me that those who don't know their type are 6s, so I typed that way for about 18 months. It would be fair to say that I actually tried to brainwash myself into being a 6. And it still didn't work. The whole thing came down around me when I realized that other types explained me a lot better.

    So, because--for the 15 years this tale covers--everyone had basically put Type 8 on this ultra high shelf that a metaphorical shorty like me couldn't reach...well, 4 was just the only thing left that made sense. I was still humiliated by it, but I had grown over the years. I was now big enough to accept my own defeat. (Also it didn't hurt that people seemed to worship 4s on the internet...like a fairy that magically made every negative quality you've ever had turn positive.)

    I had already figured out I was sx-first (believe me, I wasn't happy about that either--sx was the last thing I ever thought I could be, and I didn't like typing that way. I didn't like being perceived as one of those people going on about how magnetic and attractive and INTENSE they are. But the understanding and liberation that typing as SX brought me was another truth I couldn't deny).

    So, I didn't have much choice BUT to type as sx 4 at that point.

    That was when I first came here. It was around the same time that I purchased a shit ton of books and started reading. (I literally bought them so I could out-argue people who were still DEMANDING that I be a 6.) Deeper reading yielded more accurate results. I was happy to change my type and begin the very real business of actual inner work.

    I regret nothing (except the way those assholes treated me re: Type 6, but that's a rant for later). I'm not ashamed of my typing mistake. I wish it didn't have to be so typically American and moronically predictable that I would type that way, but it was necessary for a deeper understanding of both myself and the types.

    So, that's a quick sketch of exactly how it happened.

    tl;dr: It was because no one believes me about my real type, and 4 fits me painfully well, and I had already worked out I was sx-first...so I basically had no choice.

    PS. Also I don't think Type 4 sucks anymore. Not even sx4. I have developed a healthy appreciation of it. Like I said, I grew in knowledge and wisdom.

    PPS. Also the sx4 descriptions DO explain a fair amount about me--hatefulness, angry envy, competition, insecurities about my own desirability, obsessions, acts of revenge, over-the-top emotional vomit at times. I own that. And I don't think it's nearly as bad as any one of the 8 descriptions on any single day ever (and often, 8s themselves).

    PPPS. I hope that was a serious question and not something else. I treated it seriously loool.
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  5. #5

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    Because some people would rather be interesting instead of likable?
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  6. #6
    Senior Member Venus Rose's Avatar
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    I don't think sexual 4 profiles apply to everyone...so I would be careful with framing the subtype itself as "competitive, dramatic, angry" etc.

    I don't know whether or not people mistype...just that I see people as being honest usually...and I haven't personally encountered many who are mistyping purposefully, to try to look like another type...etc.
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  7. #7
    Can't be satisfied. Peter Deadpan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Venus Rose View Post
    I don't think sexual 4 profiles apply to everyone..so I would be careful with framing the subtype itself as "competitive, dramatic, angry" etc.

    I don't know whether or not people mistype...just that I see people as being honest usually...and I haven't personally encountered many who are mistyping purposefully, to try to look like another type...etc.
    You're right. They only apply to the sexual 4.

    For all intents and purposes, this thread will be referring to sexual 4s in the average to low health levels. Also, I was by no means summarizing the type in those few words.

    If you don't personally relate to those descriptors though, then you probably are either not being honest with yourself, or are not a sexual 4.
    Perpetual mood


    “Sometimes I think I have felt everything I'm ever gonna feel.
    And from here on out, I'm not gonna feel anything new.
    Just lesser versions of what I've already felt.”


    - look it up yourself



  8. #8
    Senior Member Venus Rose's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Peter Deadpan View Post
    You're right. They only apply to the sexual 4.

    For all intents and purposes, this thread will be referring to sexual 4s in the average to low health levels. Also, I was by no means summarizing the type in those few words.

    If you don't personally relate to those descriptors though, then you probably are either not being honest with yourself, or are not a sexual 4.
    That is what I take an issue with. You presume to know people better...? That they are lying to themselves based on a single description that I have yet to see apply naturally and easily to the sx 4s I have met? That they are lying to themselves despite who they think they are, or who people who know them think they are?

    Competition for instance is defined thus:
    .
    relating to or characterized by competition.
    ruthless, merciless, aggressive, fierce; More

    I am, for instance, not those things. For me personally those things are directly in conflict with se PoLR. A description can not be error free (say something might apply to 90% of the population, with 10% margin of error) but I have yet to see it - exactly what it says on the sx 4 profile - apply directly to sx 4s. And by direct I mean when it says “competitive” it means the person is competitive; not some roundabout way of trying to justify it through saying you have repressed it or something. That the description should speak for itself.

    It is arrogant and mean to try to force (...through force, charm, manipulation) something to be true even when reality might at times resist.

    It’s just a profile naranjo came up with - and I love his contributions! But I cannot understand what is so wrong with keeping an open mind. Enneagram is esoteric, there’s always things to find out, new ways of looking at something, etc.
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  9. #9
    Can't be satisfied. Peter Deadpan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Venus Rose View Post
    That is what I take an issue with. You presume to know people better...? That they are lying to themselves based on a single description that I have yet to see apply naturally and easily to the sx 4s I have met? That they are lying to themselves despite who they think they are, or who people who know them think they are?

    Competition for instance is defined thus:
    .
    relating to or characterized by competition.
    ruthless, merciless, aggressive, fierce; More

    I am, for instance, not those things. For me personally those things are directly in conflict with se PoLR. A description can not be error free (say something might apply to 90% of the population, with 10% margin of error) but I have yet to see it - exactly what it says on the sx 4 profile - apply directly to sx 4s. And by direct I mean when it says “competitive” it means the person is competitive; not some roundabout way of trying to justify it through saying you have repressed it or something. That the description should speak for itself.

    It is arrogant and mean to try to force (...through force, charm, manipulation) something to be true even when reality might at times resist.

    It’s just a profile naranjo came up with - and I love his contributions! But I cannot understand what is so wrong with keeping an open mind. Enneagram is esoteric, there’s always things to find out, new ways of looking at something, etc.
    I'm saying that most self-typed sexual 4s are in fact not sexual 4s. Enneatype 4 is probably the most widely misunderstood and misrepresented type of the Enneagram.

    Enneatype 4s essentially feels like nothing unless they are constantly individuating from others. 4s are not just "sad, special, defective snowflakes". It is so much more than that.

    Descriptions of 4s suck, for the most part, and are actually too universally relatable.
    However, this is not the thread for that conversation, so instead I will redirect it back to its intended purpose, which is stated in the original post.
    Perpetual mood


    “Sometimes I think I have felt everything I'm ever gonna feel.
    And from here on out, I'm not gonna feel anything new.
    Just lesser versions of what I've already felt.”


    - look it up yourself



  10. #10
    Senior Member Venus Rose's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Peter Deadpan View Post
    I'm saying that most self-typed sexual 4s are in fact not sexual 4s. Enneatype 4 is probably the most widely misunderstood and misrepresented type of the Enneagram.
    You can see it as you wish I guess. I don't know if that really is the case, as the people I have encountered are happy to be honest.
    I haven't interrogated all sx 4s I have come across, even online, to determine whether or not they are that type...but then I haven't encountered a high amount of them to begin with.

    Enneatype 4s essentially feels like nothing unless they are constantly individuating from others. 4s are not just "sad, special, defective snowflakes". It is so much more than that.
    That's true.

    Descriptions of 4s suck, for the most part, and are actually too universally relatable.
    However, this is not the thread for that conversation, so instead I will redirect it back to its intended purpose, which is stated in the original post.
    All e-types are "universally relatable" to some extent and it seems like it takes some digging to find out your core motivations.
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