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  1. #21


    Quote Originally Posted by Novella View Post
    Amberiat, assumptions abound. You need to review your sign off signature, it's contradicting your message.
    Do you have an actual argument?
    Johari | Nohari


  2. #22
    Senior Member
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    Jun 2009


    A lot of people are awful though

  3. #23
    Senior Member cascadeco's Avatar
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    Oct 2007
    9w1 sp/sx


    I think it's still as simple as people not looking deeply into 4sx descriptions specifically. It's easy to mistype as a 4 if you just take a test or read more generic type 4 descriptions (minus any instinctual parts), and then it's easy to type as sx-dom if you read more generic sx descriptions and associate sx- with the more glamorized version of what it stands for. [Or maybe more accurately: the sometimes indirect implications that sx-last is all sorts of negative boring things that are terrible to be]. Too, with 4 specifically, an online psych forum is already going to draw a lot of the more lonely misfits, who almost all will identify with some of the core issues of a 4 to a degree.

    Though I did mistype as 4 for a while, I never in my life considered sx dom -- most especially sx- as tied to 4. My reasons for the 4 mistype were that, while I never related to having a drive to be unique (which is funnily enough the main element of 4), I did relate to feeling different, something wrong, ashamed, envious. Though for a while when I first knew about enneagram I never considered 4 (due to not relating to the drama/ I'm-so-special element -- because I knew everyone felt that way in some way -- I ultimately landed on it for a number of years because ironically I delved a lot more into it and overanalyzed to the extent that I passed over the really crucial elements!!!! Which are not me - I have such a stronger urge to unite with people, not emphasize differences, and seek out common ground -- assuming I'm healthy, that is).

    So I mean, I don't really understand why people would be drawn to 4sx specifically, but I do get why a lot of people would relate to what is written about 4 in general.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  4. #24
    Senior Member mgbradsh's Avatar
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    Nov 2008


    Quote Originally Posted by Amberiat View Post
    Do you have an actual argument?
    I think Novella was pointing out that you said some pretty unflattering things about 3 different types in your post, things that might be somewhat offensive to a large number of people, and you said them in the context of a signature that suggests we all seek truth in an unbiased manner.

    It was probably more of an observation than an argument. I suspect Novella isn’t here to argue at all, maybe just be heard and understood.
    ”Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal."

  5. #25


    This is a sensitive topic because so many people type as or identify with the archetype of e4. I don't want this thread to be one conflict after another, so if it gets heated, I encourage everyone to pause, step back, and take further interactions elsewhere privately. Also, say sorry when you need to.

    The thing about personality is that people mistake it for identity when in fact it is just a structure that runs in the background of who you are and better explains how you are. Any type can be original, unique, and creative, and everyone has pain that they identify with, and most people can relate to feeling inferior or wanting what they don't have, but none of these things are what type 4 is at the core.

    4s cannot handle being like everyone else because it makes them feel insignificant. This is why they want to be "unique" or are attention seeking. They do not feel like they are anything unless they are actively individuating from those around them. They want to be differentiated and actually want to be misunderstood, even though it hurts, because that is what their entire identity is based on.

    "People don't understand me."
    "You wouldn't get it."
    "No, that's not exactly it".
    "You don't even know me."

    It is this suffering that they are addicted to, and when that isn't present in an apparent way, they will find something to long for, something that they don't have in order to cling to this sense of lack and alienation because they are dependent upon being frustrated with current conditions (specifically in relation to their primary instinct). If they get to a place where they feel content, they lose the beauty of suffering and become like everyone else, which means that they lose their identity.

    The sexual 4 needs frustration in their intimate connections and with their sexual appeal/energetic draw. This is why they idealize love, because as long as they imagine what it is that would "complete" them, no one will ever measure up for long and they can continue with their tragic dissatisfaction. That is why they are prone to push-pull dynamics and will end relationships only to draw the other back in. They long for the other when the other is away because they escape into their internal landscape of fantasy and idealize the other. When they are with the other, reality doesn't measure up to their fantasy and they get frustrated. In order to maintain that whole "Nobody understands me and I'll never have what I need!" thing, they may cause conflict just to heat things up, which can look like angry dramatic outbursts. This gets them the attention that they so crave and keeps the suffering going.

    In reality, it's not nearly as glamorous a type as people think it is. To be fair, no type is glamorous, but no type is as misunderstood as e4, which honestly just makes all the 4s even more "satisfied" because it ensures the frustration of being misunderstood and gives them wiggle room to squirm away from any box with a label, allowing room for constant differentiation.

  6. #26
    Complex paradigm Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Jun 2008


    but no type is as misunderstood as e4

    Very questionable claim.
    Since they actually want to be misunderstood for the most part even if at the very core they are generally fairly simple people that rotate around their negative-controverisal image. Which they made up for the most part themselves to order to satisfy their own desires. Also just because you want to be misunderstood that doesn't mean that you are. Of course saying this is politically incorrect and it will hurt their feelings but in reality e4 really isn't that complicated when compared with other types.

    While Sx 4 is just a 4 on "steroids" and everyone that is stuck in negativity will display Sx 4 traits for sure. The only real difference is that for actual Sx 4 world revolves about that kind of stuff all the time. Plus it is kinda trendy to be misunderstood.

  7. #27
    Softserve Ice Cream Agent Washington's Avatar
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    Jan 2017


    A lot of people are constantly individuating from others though.

    I think... A lot of people gravitate towards those typings because it gives them a reason to not change.
    There's no love in fear.
    - Tool

    Do we want to remind you of something? Yes: the world is good and we belong here.
    - Richard Siken

  8. #28


    Quote Originally Posted by Ogata View Post
    A lot of people are constantly individuating from others though.

    I think... A lot of people gravitate towards those typings because it gives them a reason to not change.
    I have an even deeper understanding of type 4 fixation now. I posted about it in another thread yesterday.

    Sexual 4 is far from a pretty type though. I am allowed to say this because reasons.
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  9. #29
    Weary traveler Maou's Avatar
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    Jun 2018
    459 sp/sx
    ILE Ti


    Sp 4 mastertype! *dabs*
    The beginning of the end is beginning.

  10. #30
    Forged In Flames Hexcoder's Avatar
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    Jan 2018


    Quote Originally Posted by Peter Deadpan View Post
    It's the most common mistype, and in my opinion the most unappealing type to be. Jealous. Angry. Competitive. Insecure. Dramatic. Emotionally unstable. Hot and cold..... etc etc etc.

    So why do people so willingly type as sexual 4? Why would one want to claim all of those if they didn't have to?
    Maybe they want to be mystical deepities? Maybe they honestly see themselves as such despite the negatives? Maybe they've read more appealing resources than you? Who knows...?

    Though I'd be interested in knowing why the fuck people type me as Sx 4 until they actually get to know me and then realize I'm quite far from it.


    “But the worst enemy you can meet will always be yourself. ... You must be ready to burn yourself in your own flame: how could you become new, if you had not first become ashes?” ― Friedrich Nietzsche

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