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  1. #1
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    Default type 4 and type 8 success story

    Hey, what's up everybody. Long-time lurker here. I figured it's worth letting the Typology world know that I (an ENFP 4w3 sx/sp) am enjoying a pretty solid friendship with an ENTJ 8w7 sx/so. Though our story is pretty wacky and a bit uncanny overall.

    Long story short: we met in a professional context, had a mutual mentorship thing going for a bit, and became romantically involved for a few months. Then, us being younguns, we had the typical 4 - 8 problems and the typical sx/sp - sx/so problems. I dumped her pretty unceremoniously over a text, and then, of course, we ended up going to war against one another for a while where things became pretty socially messy.

    Despite completely blocking one another across all forms of social media, we both discovered we were stalking the other's Spotify playlists and began messaging one another symbolically through song choices and playlist titles. After around a week, we unblocked one another, made up, and quickly became close friends.

    Since we both work in the same field and interact with the same people and subject matter, let me point out how good that xNFP x xNTJ + 4 x 8 + sx x sx can be when things are moving and grooving. When we team up professionally, it's a bit like fire and ice where we have one another's blind spots covered absolutely. When duoing up on somebody, I'll soft open and play buddy cop whereas she can hard close and make my ideas sound good. When we're strategizing between just the two of us, I'll bring all possible points onto the playing field where she'll choose the best few and nail those into the ground with ease. The synchronicity is great and there's 0 conflict because we both trust one another to have all bases covered.

    Romantically, we're seeing other people but we still enjoy flirting with one another and overall the connection runs about as smoothly as a knife through hot butter. And as of today, she's officially my boss, which is pretty exciting overall.

    Not really sure if I can give advice that's universal to all the 4's and 8's out there, but I can deffo say that the Enneagram + MBTI helped us navigate our differences and actually really come to a place of appreciation regarding our combined strengths and growth paths. Keep chugging on, yall

    Edit: I'm also a 478 with strong 7 tendencies and I *strongly* suspect that she's got a 4-fix somewhere in there so that could contribute to the "how" and "why" behind said success story, hahahaha

  2. #2
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    I can't see a sx/sp 4 stalking her spotify playlists like that....a 3w4 sx/sp sure...sx/sp 4 no. you'll be lucky if a sx/sp 4 asks you more than a dozen questions about your life in the first few months of dating.
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  3. #3
    Can't be satisfied. Peter Deadpan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tomb1 View Post
    I can't see a sx/sp 4 stalking her spotify playlists like that....a 3w4 sx/sp sure...sx/sp 4 no. you'll be lucky if a sx/sp 4 asks you more than a dozen questions about your life in the first few months of dating.
    Why do you oversimplify so much? It's like you see people through only the narrow scope of core archetype. It's impossible to predict such nuanced behavior based on someone's placement in one spot of a possible 54. Surely you've been exposed to more than 54 types of human in your life?

    Also, it doesn't sound like you are personally familiar with the romantic obsessing than sexual subtypes can be capable of or the fire and ice quality of some intimate connections. Furthermore, stalking is a suitable archetypal example of Sx/Sp, as is the man who has a secret double life with a mistress while he's on "business trips".
    Sp in support of Sx = hidden sexual agendas

    Edit: Also, asking questions about someone's life is more in line with the Social instinct.
    '“Sometimes I think I have felt everything I'm ever gonna feel.
    And from here on out, I'm not gonna feel anything new.

    Just lesser versions of what I've already felt.

    - look it up yourself


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  4. #4
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    furthermore, nothing is ever just a success story for a four....nothing ends up so smoothly in the end with roses and cherries on top, as in perfect synchronicity.
    Click here for my 2500+ Enneagram Type List to type yourself and others with. It's the only valid breakdown for every enneagram type, wing and stack.

    Click here for the only valid visual typing model of stackings on earth and socionics.
    Click here for enneagram type descriptions as a supplement to the only valid breakdown for every type, wing and stack.
    Click here for my typings of 100+ fictional exemplars and here for my typings of 90+ typology central members.

  5. #5
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    "Nothing is ever" isn't the rhetoric of critical thought when it comes to the Enneagram, which posits each type as existing on a path of integration or disintegration. So I don't have to listen to your argument re: why I'm a different type than I know I am.

    Edit: this is specifically aimed at Tomb, seeing as there might be a misunderstanding there lmao

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Peter Deadpan View Post
    Furthermore, stalking is a suitable archetypal example of Sx/Sp, as is the man who has a secret double life with a mistress while he's on "business trips".
    Sp in support of Sx = hidden sexual agendas
    So in support of Sx will also have hidden sexual agendas, but they'll hide those behind flirtatiousness with a wider number of people. From experience, both types stalk depending on circumstances.

    Edit: Also, asking questions about someone's life is more in line with the Social instinct.
    In my experience, So/Sx and So/Sp hate being dug into in a meaningful way over a short period of time. With those types, you need to move at the same pace as their entire social hierarchy. Skipping the line just annoys them. So I don't entirely agree with what you're saying here.

    If an Sx/Sp is interested in you, we'll drill you with questions. If we're satisfied, we won't then also drill somebody else with questions. An Sx/So will typically take turns drilling different subjects of interest with questions, and they'll assign those levels of interest by their own personal (and/or social) hierarchy.

  7. #7
    Can't be satisfied. Peter Deadpan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heavenvoid View Post
    So in support of Sx will also have hidden sexual agendas, but they'll hide those behind flirtatiousness with a wider number of people. From experience, both types stalk depending on circumstances.



    In my experience, So/Sx and So/Sp hate being dug into in a meaningful way over a short period of time. With those types, you need to move at the same pace as their entire social hierarchy. Skipping the line just annoys them. So I don't entirely agree with what you're saying here.

    If an Sx/Sp is interested in you, we'll drill you with questions. If we're satisfied, we won't then also drill somebody else with questions. An Sx/So will typically take turns drilling different subjects of interest with questions, and they'll assign those levels of interest by their own personal hierarchy.
    Did you somehow get the impression that I was arguing with you? Because I wasn't. I'm also not interested in discussing these things with you, specifically here, in this trainwreck of a one-sided thread.

    But, I do recommend starting your own thread because the forum is sorely lacking in any sort of reasonably intellectual topological discussion. There's plenty of typoillogical chatting though.
    '“Sometimes I think I have felt everything I'm ever gonna feel.
    And from here on out, I'm not gonna feel anything new.

    Just lesser versions of what I've already felt.

    - look it up yourself



  8. #8
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    Did you somehow get the impression that I was arguing with you? Because I wasn't. I'm also not interested in discussing these things with you, specifically here, in this trainwreck of a one-sided thread.

    But, I do recommend starting your own thread because the forum is sorely lacking in any sort of reasonably intellectual topological discussion. There's plenty of typoillogical chatting though.
    Your response seems a bit more pointed if not downright hurt than mine was. I simply disagreed with the points you brought up. You deserve to have your beliefs and understandings challenged. Everybody does, including me.

  9. #9
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    I want to add though, the two areas I'm not 100% sold on my typing are 4w3 vs. 4w5 and 478 vs. 468. Seems like just sharing a personal trend/datapoint isn't enough to satisfy the Typology forums without some group analysis, so I'll gladly go back and forth with anybody who's interested in psychoanalyzing me to that end.

  10. #10
    Can't be satisfied. Peter Deadpan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heavenvoid View Post
    Your response seems a bit more pointed if not downright hurt than mine was. I simply disagreed with the points you brought up; you deserve to have your beliefs and understandings challenged. Everybody does, including me.
    You mistake how invested I am in you or your opinion of me. I was merely asking a question and practicing my social "skills" for once, but if you prefer I default to my normal approach, your wish is my command.

    *waves wand made of burnt human femur and disappears into cloud of sulfur dioxide*
    '“Sometimes I think I have felt everything I'm ever gonna feel.
    And from here on out, I'm not gonna feel anything new.

    Just lesser versions of what I've already felt.

    - look it up yourself



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