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  1. #1
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2019

    Default Help. Struggling as a 4w3

    hi everyone. I am a definite 4wing3 going through what should be an easy breakup with an 8 (forgot her wing). Anyway, we dated for only 3 months or so but ultimately she wouldn't commit and I began to get pissed. In short, after we broke up on the phone she sent me a text basically saying nice to meet you bye forever in nicer terms which triggered my feeling of abondonment and sense that I was not enough. I am living in 4 hell right and and cannot stop feeling sorry for myself / angry. 4s just can't fucking out emotions down and I'm almost ashamed. Her 8 made her confident and able to walk away from things rationally. I'm seriously envious of her ability to meet new people and feel satisfied during this emotional time. Even though I know it was a bad fit I'm still angry I wasn't enough to make her commit (fuckin crazy right). She stated on date 3 that she wasn't looking for a relationship because she Just got out of one. Yet here I am saying I wasn't enough because she didn't want a relationship WITH ME.
    Anyway. I feel so disgusted to be a 4 and have such little control over my emotions and rational. Like part of me says I wish I could know what it was like to just walk away and leave things be. God knows I've tried. But my mind just Takes me back to a place of rethinking, analyzing, and I am not enough. It sounds so stereotypical, I know it's my type, but I can't escape it. Fuck 4 dude.

  2. #2
    Senior Member RedAmazoneFriendZone's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    7w8 sp/sx
    HIGH Fi


    Until we don't work on our scares (by ourselves), we will attract the same kind of sufferings. 4 or not, this isn't the question.

    What generally helps in this situation is to try to understand (and/or get the info) why the person didn't want to go on. Did you ask her ?

    Most of the time it has nothing to do with "I was not enough". Which is only a belief among others.

    Dare observing your shadows (50 shades of darkness) for your own well-being Unfortunately we are all fucking contagious Smile and see what happens around you......
    Likes Eryn Silverfrond liked this post

  3. #3
    A Bittersweet Symphony... Eryn Silverfrond's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    749 so/sx


    she wasn't looking for a relationship because she Just got out of one. Yet here I am saying I wasn't enough because she didn't want a relationship WITH ME.
    Sounds like she didn't want a relationship with ANYONE. So regardless it wasn't going to happen. So no matter what you could have done different or who different you could be. It just wasn't in the cards. Seems to me like it was nothing personal from their perspective against you. At least you got to have a good time while it lasted... Instead of focusing on what you didn't get to enjoy, re-frame it to the aspects you got to enjoy. There will be other lovers. Some will go further others wont. It's still a lot of fun on the journey. I hope you feel better. It sucks when it's a hard loss. -_-
    With all due respect,
    Eryn Silverfrond;
    of the Gentleman Jacks.

    We're all Faery Tales; after a fashion,
    Our stories unfolding around us...
    and through us...

    Our Sky Father and our Earth Mother are dancing.

    Life is a chrysalis.
    The dreams of butterflies cocooned in the womb of becoming.

    Likes Maya Dawn liked this post

  4. #4
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2019


    Yeah she expressed early that's not what she wanted. I thought I could change her mind if I was "enough" whatever that meant. I was comfortable walking away until she had the same thoughts. Then it became whoa I'm not enough. I continuously forget that she would always hit me up first and want to do things. And always grab on to me. It all gets muted by the abandonment.

  5. #5
    ∂ιѕgяα¢є∂ ¢σѕмσηαυт Luminous's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    952 sx/sp
    EII Fi


    You are enough. She's just not right for you. You will find someone who clicks and who wants what you want, and then you will be more than enough. In the meantime, be a good friend to yourself.
    ✦ᏖᏒᎥᎮ ค ℓιɬɬℓɛ Ꮭıɠɧɬ ʄคŋɬคʂɬıƈ✦ -: ✦ :- ƒ O ᖇ G E ᗪ I ᑎ ƒ I ᖇ E ❋-: ✦ :-★ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ꜰᴇᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇᴇʟꜱ★
    * ・゚ ・゚ * ⊱9w1✶S✶5w4✶X✶2w1⊰ * ・゚ ・゚ *
    ✦Շђєяє คяє ๓σяє тнιηﻭѕ ιη нєανєη αη∂ єαятн Շђαη คяє ∂яєαмт σƒ ιη уσυя ρнιℓσѕσρну.✦

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