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  1. #1
    ... Julius_Van_Der_Beak's Avatar
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    Default Beak's Contemporary Comedy Corner

    Why do classics professors love baseball?


    Why did the entomologist want to bring dairy products on the plane?



    Why did Jim open up a bar near an interdenominational theology school?



    What is Satan's favorite section in the orchestra?

    A path is made by walking on it.

    -Zhuangzi





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  2. #2
    F off, NPCs and tradbots asynartetic's Avatar
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    You’re a funny guy, Vulcan. That’s why I’m going to kill you last.
    har har

  3. #3
    ... Julius_Van_Der_Beak's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by asynartetic View Post
    You’re a funny guy, Vulcan. That’s why I’m going to kill you last.
    I have clones.
    A path is made by walking on it.

    -Zhuangzi





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  4. #4
    F off, NPCs and tradbots asynartetic's Avatar
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    har har

  5. #5
    ... Julius_Van_Der_Beak's Avatar
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    More movies need to open with fight sequences between crappy-looking CG scorpions.



    The fact that this never become a trend is proof of the lack of vision in Hollywood.
    A path is made by walking on it.

    -Zhuangzi





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  6. #6
    ... Julius_Van_Der_Beak's Avatar
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    I demand a TV show where Dee Snider rooms with an evil clone of himself. It will be called (wait for it):



    Also, Timecop, while a brilliant film on every level, failed to establish enough momentum for an entire series of Time-Profession movies.

    Timejudge (about the judge from Timecop [the movie probably has a judge in it])
    Timebusters (Ghostusters in Time... similar to Turtles in Time in some respects)
    Timewaiter
    Timejanitor
    Timeteacher
    Timestronaut
    Timeshamus
    TimeYankee (ripped off from Mark Twain)
    Timepirate
    Timeweatherman
    Timenun
    Timebaker
    TimeRhymer(starring Iced T)
    Timeweaver
    Timepainter


    Plot summaries / Hollywood pitches of at least some of these will be forthcoming.
    A path is made by walking on it.

    -Zhuangzi





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  7. #7
    F off, NPCs and tradbots asynartetic's Avatar
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    TimeCallGirl - she gives her clients a good time in any time
    har har

  8. #8
    darkened dreams Ravenetta's Avatar
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    This is one a little piano student told me and I can't stop laughing...

    Why did the chicken cross the road?
    It's entirely possible and realistic to live your life in such a way that you don't accidentally rape people. ME
    The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool. FEYNMAN
    If this is monkey pee, you're on your own.SCULLY
    You have to let the metaphysical guy chase you. ABIGAIL

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