Book recommendations for the mentally retarded

[burningranger]

OKay I used to devour books as a kid. The I started gaming...and oh look shiny, low-attention span required hobbie....and bam books are now dead to me.
I'm becoming a writer. Well....I'm writing anyways. Rather than see the atrophy of my writing and reading abilities as hindrances...I now see them as a great way to discern if a book is truly great...in my book

SO! I wanna write something really good. Something I can be really proud of. So I'm starting to investigate reading again....I even bought Stephen King's Dark Tower the other day.....I'm already bored to tears...two pages in.....

I need something FRESH!!! I read some Bukowski and I think....well that guy has an interesting voice. I need an even more interesting voice. I need something truly compelling but on the short side. Not compelling as in Da Vinci's Code kind of compelling....I need something better. I need something for retarded people like me. Something with that almost spiritual quality that grabs you by the balls...something that doesn't rely on your brains enjoyment of the process of reading for it's own sake....something without a lot of exposition (shit I almost killed myself reading The Fellowship of the Ring the other day....good god Tolkien get a life!!).....

I picekd up The Alchemist from Paulo Coelho the other day. I thought....hmmm...this is a step in the right direction kinda. This seems closer to the book I want to write Short...not a lof of complex words....but still very compelling.

So having read all that....could you please recommend some books for the mentally retarded like me? Someone who doesn't take any pride in his reading comprehension....who is not numb to true FEELING and QUALITY....but whose brain function and attention span makes him reluctant to read most books.

Or you know...you can just recommend me a good book. Original stories favoured. Thanks. Have a nice day <3

 

[Lark]

Obvious troll is obvious.

 

[Obfuscate]

meh... try Still Life with Woodpecker by Tom Robbins

 

[anticlimatic]

So you're aspiring to write mediocre stories? If even Stephen King is unpalatable to you I don't know what to say.

The Berenstein Bears? Uh. Shel Silverstein?

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When I want to program my brain to write the way I want I usually read some Cormack Mcarthy or Lovecraft. But both use big words.

 

[burningranger]

So you're aspiring to write mediocre stories? If even Stephen King is unpalatable to you I don't know what to say.

The Berenstein Bears? Uh. Shel Silverstein?

--

When I want to program my brain to write the way I want I usually read some Cormack Mcarthy or Lovecraft. But both use big words.

I'm aspiring to write stories where not being book-saavy doesn't pose a problem for the reader. Something for non-readers if you will.
I firmly believe great art...at least the one I really aspire to...isn't heavily dependent on understanding the language of the medium so much.
So say....you can be not so big on music....but everyone has something they love to listen to.
Or you are not a movie buff....but there's obviously some great movie for you out there.

Something that is not trapped wihtin it's medium. A person with average vocabulary might not be able to enjoy Stephen King. I want the medium and the things we've come to associate with it...to not be a hindrance for the person picking it up....but for it's substance and quality to shine forth irrespective. You know what I mean?

 

[citizen cane]

The only thing "mentally retarded" about you is that you think it's a socially acceptable term to use.

 

[Lord Lavender]

Oh god ya make me laugh . Oh man if you got bored of the amazing Dark Tower books two pages then faith in humanity is lost . Kidding . Hmmm I think a good book for you would be say The Hungry Caterpillar.

 

[Tomb1]

http://www.typologycentral.com/foru...emup-enneagram-description-enneatype-vii.html

 

[anticlimatic]

I'm aspiring to write stories where not being book-saavy doesn't pose a problem for the reader. Something for non-readers if you will. I firmly believe great art...at least the one I really aspire to...isn't heavily dependent on understanding the language of the medium so much. So say....you can be not so big on music....but everyone has something they love to listen to. Or you are not a movie buff....but there's obviously some great movie for you out there. Something that is not trapped wihtin it's medium. A person with average vocabulary might not be able to enjoy Stephen King. I want the medium and the things we've come to associate with it...to not be a hindrance for the person picking it up....but for it's substance and quality to shine forth irrespective. You know what I mean?

The best part about reading is new and strange words that you have to roughly define based on their context before moving on- it imitates life.

 

[burningranger]

The only thing mentally retarded about you is that you think it's a socially acceptable term to use.

I dunno if it's "socially" acceptable. But it's acceptable to me. The only people who care about how PC the word retarded is , are the people who are not retarded in anyway. As if any harm is being done in the process.

The best part about reading is new and strange words that you have to roughly define based on their context before moving on- it imitates life.

I never heard it put that way. Maybe I've been doing it wrong because I beat myself up everytime I don't know a word. And my RAM is too small to remember it the next time I pick up a dictionary. One thing I loved hearing from Bukowski in an interview was his famours "Bim bim bim!" when addressing how to write....how it must have tempo and pace and how many writers take so much time in setting up the scene to the grand emotion and when you get to the scene with the grand emotion there isn't any. He's illustrating something that for me is also very apparent in most writing. There's no energy behind what is written most of the time.

Mind you we could be talking about movies (an area where I'm a bit more well versed and knowledgeable) and I could be saying how most movies are also boring...which many are. And how most have nothing interesting to say...which is also true. It's not a criticism of the art form. Everyone can create something. We all do in whatever we are doing in life. Doesn't mean everything is good...let alone good for your personal sensibility. So yeah.

 

[citizen cane]

I dunno if it's "socially" acceptable. But it's acceptable to me. The only people who care about how PC the word retarded is , are the people who are not retarded in anyway. As if any harm is being done in the process.

So intellectually disabled people don't take offense if people call them retarded? I've never heard that line of reasoning before.

 

[Obfuscate]

So intellectually disabled people don't take offense if people call them retarded? I've never heard that line of reasoning before.

the local organisation for their welfare still includes it in the name... the original definition is slow, and it still sees a fair amount of use that way today...

rough idle - My Ignition Timing is Retarded, no seriously, it's really screwed up - Motor Vehicle Maintenance & Repair Stack Exchange

the reason the word is offensive is because it has been used to make fun of them... they switched to special, but they use that to make fun of them also... the problem isn't really any given word... the problem is as quickly as they can agree on a term, it becomes derogatory through use...

i see what you are getting at cap, but if he wants to call himself mentally slow i'm not offended personally...

 

[Lord Lavender]

He he he he he he he he ive got a good book idea for you to read . I suggest the book below once you finished with my previous suggestion of the Hungry Caterpillar cuz im in it . Just read what I say in that book and you shall have fun and delightful times .

 

[burningranger]

He he he he he he he he ive got a good book idea for you to read . I suggest the book below once you finished with my previous suggestion of the Hungry Caterpillar cuz im in it . Just read what I say in that book and you shall have fun and delightful times .

I'll drop some acid beforehand thanks