Something I Wrote

[Jack Flak]

LOL! That was pretty complex for a 12 year old writing a dirty limerick, actually.

LOL you've revealed it in your quote.

I was a pretty damn complex twelve-year-old. *nervous tick*

 

[LadyJaye]

I'll post one more.


I wrote this for a girl who had been given an intervention for cutting herself.


The Cutting Edge

nothing looks right
the pressure's building
got to be just right
but the path is tilting

in a flood of blood
to bring her relief
she cuts herself
to dissect her need


some days
it's too hard to be you
the punishment
it puts you through
to drive you down
into the dirt
the tug of war
to hold your worth


though her soul cries no
to the oozing lines
a voice, it says
just one more time

protracted crawl
to the finish line
fighting, gaining
falling behind
claw and tear
to the bitter end
see how it feels
to win again

 

[Jack Flak]

I like it quite a bit, namely the last verse.

 

[LadyJaye]

I like it quite a bit, namely the last verse.

You know, I keep all of my writing over at one site, along with my photography. I'll give you the link, if you like. I just feel like such a doof posting my dithering on here. It seems really lame. lol

 

[Members Only]

You know, I keep all of my writing over at one site, along with my photography. I'll give you the link, if you like. I just feel like such a doof posting my dithering on here. It seems really lame. lol

Awww, don't, tis not lame. I thought both were great. I'm not lying to be nice either, since I'm not one for false compliments. I would have just refrained from posting if I did not think much of your work. Truthfully, I enjoyed them both.

 

[Jack Flak]

"The Coolest Story Ever" by Jack Flak, age 16 iirc. (In the style of Beavis et al)

There was this cat that used to live next door to me with this real psycho guy. This guy was psycho and he had this cat too. His cat was really cool because we would feed him drain cleaner or other stuff and then he would go have hallucinations or something. This cat was psycho, cause he would like run around with mice and birds in his mouth and flush them down the toilet afterwords, and sometimes he would flush himself down the toilet and no one would see him for days. It was really cool cause the cat would like get flushed and then show up a couple days later, you know? I couldn't explain it too. One day this cat was running real freekin fast like a cheetah cause I saw a cheetah on tv once they're freekin fast. Anyway he was running and his owner, that psycho, was chasing him on this big-ass motorcycle he stole from a rich dude after he shot him. This cat was getting chased and he got run over by us as we peeled around the corner but the coolest part was when we hit the driver of the motorcycle and he flew like fifty feet away and hit a sports car and it crashed too. Everybody died except me and the cat and we're almost dead now so I wrote this story. Yeah, this story kicks ass.

 

[Members Only]

*Refrains from posting*

............................

Nah, actually it made me giggle.

 

[Jack Flak]

I should probably say, specifically, that I'm capable of throwing my consciousness into another realm--the story's not autobiographical in the LEAST.

 

[RiderOnTheStorm]

Nice Beavis rendition hun.

 

[LadyJaye]

"The Coolest Story Ever" by Jack Flak, age 16 iirc. (In the style of Beavis et al)

There was this cat that used to live next door to me with this real psycho guy. This guy was psycho and he had this cat too. His cat was really cool because we would feed him drain cleaner or other stuff and then he would go have hallucinations or something. This cat was psycho, cause he would like run around with mice and birds in his mouth and flush them down the toilet afterwords, and sometimes he would flush himself down the toilet and no one would see him for days. It was really cool cause the cat would like get flushed and then show up a couple days later, you know? I couldn't explain it too. One day this cat was running real freekin fast like a cheetah cause I saw a cheetah on tv once they're freekin fast. Anyway he was running and his owner, that psycho, was chasing him on this big-ass motorcycle he stole from a rich dude after he shot him. This cat was getting chased and he got run over by us as we peeled around the corner but the coolest part was when we hit the driver of the motorcycle and he flew like fifty feet away and hit a sports car and it crashed too. Everybody died except me and the cat and we're almost dead now so I wrote this story. Yeah, this story kicks ass.

LOL!

That cat sounds like a Weapon X project.

 

[colmena]

I just finished watching Cyrano de Bergerac, and am eager to come up with something flowery and cool. 'though I'd have to cut off a limb or something to be able to do it whilst dueling.

 

[Domino]

Please tell me it was the exemplary Jose Ferrer version. I love that movie. The play is wonderful too.

 

[Jack Flak]

Steve Martin version is the only one.

 

[Domino]

Steve Martin version is the only one.

That had better be a joke!

 

[Jack Flak]

That had better be a joke!

I don't "do" jokes. *serious face*

 

[Domino]

You fitfully disgust me! *storms away*

 

[colmena]

I watched the version by the guy who did A Clockwork Orange.


But I vow to learn French so I don't need subs. It sickened me hearing the rhymes but not seeing them.

Nevertheless, the writer did a wonderful job. A beautiful script.

 

[Jack Flak]

Kubrick didn't do Cyrano de Bergerac, did he? I thought I knew Kubrick quite well.

 

[colmena]

I'm talking scripts. Hence the subject of the thread.

Sorry for misreading the both of you.

 

[colmena]

The play has been produced all over the world. In 1950 it was brought to movie screens in the United States by the United Artists studio with Jose Ferrer starring in the title role. Noted writer Anthony Burgess (A Clockwork Orange) translated the play in 1971: this translation was used as the basis for the subtitles for the 1990 French film version directed by Jean-Paul Rappineau and starring Gerard Depardieu.

Hence I will take an uninformed guess that the 1990 version is better.