Ok so personally I do my own version of a session 0.
For myself as a dm who does more character driven plots... They are nessesary.
But it bugs me that session 0's get pushed as SOOOOO necessary.
I don't do X cards either.
I dont really ask my players what sorts of things they don't want in the game. (I encourage yes and, not no but) If something is a BIIIG Fing space deal to someone, I leave my dms open during downtime. ((This is not to say I force my players to deal with things they cant bear to deal with, but I strickly do this one on one with individual players, Ive been in too many games(as a player) that session 0 just turns into a bunch of soft people telling what they dont want to encounters ime/o it puts the wrong focus at the table.
If you're grown up enough to play at my table.(which is 18+)
You're grown up enough to deal with horror elements.
You don't have to like them.
You do have to act like an adult and bite the bullet when the bad guy does bad guy shit.
If you want to be coddled...
Play Adventure League.
As usual I tend to agree with Brenan Lee Mulligan about dming things.
Matt Mercer Im a little less prone to agree with because Matt has a forever group that he's trained up to play in a complementary way to his dm style.
Matt Colville is the basis for my God of the Knowledge and Lawful War Domain. (So i tend to follow his advice a lot also)
Aabria Iyengar I take some of her things she does(telling the players what their character doesnt see, making tourist traps in world etc) but she's a bit soft and not quite on my plane of humor for my taste as a player.
How I do session 0:
Once I have enough players together for a game run I..
*Let the players know they're playing a role play heavy homebrew lore setting . IE The Races are different than the D&D lore.
I have little blurbs, just a few points that players need to know about their player races. EG (Elves are weird and wild not tree vulcans) My cat people live longer Tabaxi(felis) and Leonin(Panthera) Dwarves in my lore are also farmers rather than exclusively miners that kind of thing.
*I use the charts in Xanathars. To roll up a bit of backstory with my player characters. (I let them know their backstory is where a lot of the things that will happen in the game come from)
*With these two steps: By the time session 0 comes around The players know on a basic level who their characters are, and thus can discuss amongst themselves on session 0 why their character takes the first job and joins the party.
The players have already built their characters, and now they can make last minute changes based on how the players interact in this session 0.
*We go over the content warnings. My table is 18+ the world I tell them is a crazy chaotic place where law and chaos are at odds and good people do bad things and bad people do good things. People Fuck(I fade to black for the most part, but I fade to black later than pg13 would. I fade to black around the same times Deadpool or Constantine would.
*I warn them I don't balance my encounters for player level. If running away feels like the right thing to do. You better damn sure do it. I tell them to make sure to have their backup character ready because death is not the end, but the cheap ways to ressurect are essentially the scene in Conan the Barbarian where they raise Conan from the dead with a combat encounter.
*In the event of a TPK: Don't panic. Death doesnt let the party off the hook(there is no hook)
*We go over leveling. I do a hybrid xp/milestone system. If you want your character to level up quick. Put in the work. We plateu at level 6 for a time, and then at ten for a time. I reward not only with xp but proficiencies as well.
*I explain that adventuring is just one way to make a living. Big Damn heroes is not how most people are gonna view them. Adventurers are rat catchers and outsiders, and not all of them are good to people. (I run evil one shots and mini campaigns sometimes concurrently and I tend to draw my BBEG from evil pcs in these little adventures.
*I let them know I'm rooting for their characters to succeed. I'm not an antagonistic DM, that being said I will give you what you wish for and I WILL let you bradbury yourself and your party.
*I tell them my rules for PCVPC. Its in character only. IF YOU WANT TO PCVPC you have to communicate with the DM before hand, and with the player you're intending on PCVPC with. As soon as the issue leaves the characters and becomes issues between players. The PCVPC stops for the rest of that session and beyond until we square it away outside of game.
*DOWNTIME is a thing. Its when your shopping(Haggling) happens. If we come to a store in game time. DO NOT think we're going to have a critical role shopping episode where you can nit nat and haggle jack. it aint going down like that.
*If NPC's join the party and the party wants them to fight. A player takes responsibility for rolling for them. I have enough to worry about without having to worry my players are worried about a dmpc. Otherwise the NPC is looking out for themselves by fleeing combat.
*We discuss the magic legalities of the world.
*I explain about the "Porters" and "hired crew" mechanic I use. Nothing shows a dangerous situation quite as effectively as having a warm body yanked bodily up and decimated before the party's very eyes. The player characters dont have to hire anyone of course. but in my experience everyone is always glad with Poor forgettable Ted get's picked up by a giant man eating plant rather than a pc.
30 minutes for questions.
30 minutes to talk amongst yourselves to cement your in party ties.
15 minutes to account for shock and disbelief when I tell them to PLEASE split the party. It really kills the sense of reality for me when everyone sticks together ALL THE TIME. Im not going to punish you for splitting the party. You take your chances just like everyone else, but I discourage for the most part clumping together because "Thats what adventure league does"
*EXPLORATION is a big part of my games. There's no railroad tracks where you're going and if you're hoping for a guided tour or an escape room, my table is probably not going to give you the fuzzies.
*celestials, fiends, monstosities, and fey, are just as individualized as any player character and wont react like robots. They will offer you deal. Many of them are even good deals.
*The decks(plural) of many things are full decks and should be drawn from.
*You can play an evil character it just requires a little more discussion during downtime.
*Murder hoboes exist, and yall can even choose to be some, but they wont be viewed as heroes. Your alignment will change based off what you choose to do.
*The Zhentarum has all its teeth and claws back in, and I would very much like you to work for them sometimes.
*Todays patron could be tomorrows threshold guardian.
*If you're looking for a BBEG look in the mirror. (More on that later) ((This begins a conversation that happens everytime out of character discussion about who the BBEG could be.))
*Finally because this tends to only take an hour and 20 minutes if that. We get a little play session in. Our Tavern meeting so to speak.
Session 0 ends right at the place where session 1 picks up. And to date this has worked VERY well for me and my players. Everyone knows what to expect( Rarely other dms who get to play in my games tend to not believe me when I tell them not to worry about what they want to do, that I have world built a multiverse that the player chacters can stumble into if theyre not careful, but only at first.)
*I also leave my players an Appendix N so they can if they choose to get some lists of other things that contain examples of the aesthetics of the world and so on.
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