[Writing Blog] Fluffywolf's adventures in fiction land

[Fluffywolf]

Well, gotta leave in an hour, but made a small addition.

Tension is rising!

 

[Fluffywolf]

Teehee, internet at the hotel.

New addition made.

Tears might flow.

Would love to hear peoples thoughts on how I've written page 40 to 43.

My personal concern is that it might be too much, too dramatic compared to the rest of the story.

I've rewritten those pages and feel much better about them now.


Voted my own thread to be excellent as well.

 

[Fluffywolf]

Important note for those that have read it past page 9, and are willing to keep reading:

Removed mention of Yelena's father dying and brother 'taking over'. Since I'm not approaching that subject for a while, I feel the early mention of those details in her background are out of place.

This may or may not mean that those details of her background are subject to change. But I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

For now, forget it was written down.

 

[WALMART]

It's very hard for me to get involved with books and things of the like, but I am very interested in reading this. Maybe I'm waiting for it to become more developed


You seem like you would be very efficient in your writing style, something I enjoy greatly. Keep up the work!

 

[Fluffywolf]

It's very hard for me to get involved with books and things of the like, but I am very interested in reading this. Maybe I'm waiting for it to become more developed


You seem like you would be very efficient in your writing style, something I enjoy greatly. Keep up the work!

I won't force you or anything.

Seems like it will be a bundle of chronological short stories though. At the very least the first in the sequence seems to be nearing completion, the following stories might not be short at all. Once Im done with that Ill polish the story up, making sure the flow's alright.
This first part is mainly an introduction of the world and main characters with small events. I will start focusing on a bigger plot soon.

Im pretty full with ideas, just need the time to put it on paper.

 

[Aquarelle]

I only read the first few pages so far, but I think it's really good. The one thing I would say is that present tense narrative is really hard to pull off, especially from the third person perspective. I would recommend telling the story in the past tense.

 

[Fluffywolf]

I only read the first few pages so far, but I think it's really good. The one thing I would say is that present tense narrative is really hard to pull off, especially from the third person perspective. I would recommend telling the story in the past tense.

I don't disagree there. I think present tense can work well towards putting the reader right into the thick of it. But present tense is a bit unpolished in a sense.
Past tense seems to flow better for reading. Not to mention not everything can be put in present tense (unless you 'go around the bush' which will annoy the reader), but everything can be put in past tense.

Either way, I wanted to finish the first story before I repolish the document, for the sake of current readers, I'll keep using present tense to the best of my ability for now since most of the story is written like that.

I'm also thinking of more clearly making a distinction between narrative and thoughts by using cursive text, without having to add Kaynin thinks, ponders, wonders, assumes or whatever with every single thought. And polishing the sentence structures of the sentences that are kind of inbetween narrative and thought at the moment. Right now there are parts that explain too much.

 

[Aquarelle]

Either way, I wanted to finish the first story before I repolish the document, for the sake of current readers, I'll keep using present tense to the best of my ability for now since most of the story is written like that.

I'm also thinking of more clearly making a distinction between narrative and thoughts by using cursive text, without having to add Kaynin thinks, ponders, wonders, assumes or whatever with every single thought. And polishing the sentence structures of the sentences that are kind of inbetween narrative and thought at the moment.

Totally. The hardest part is just getting SOMETHING on paper, I think-- you're smart to focus on that first and editing later. I have the problem whenever I try to write that I try to edit as I go along, and then I don't get very far.

 

[Stanton Moore]

I don't have time to read it through, but it seems strong to me.
'Err' is a verb. The nominative form in English of 'error'.
Well done!

 

[Pinker85]

Have read half way through. Really impressed. Keep up the awesome work. Looking forward to seeing the finished product.

 

[Fluffywolf]

I don't have time to read it through, but it seems strong to me.
'Err' is a verb. The nominative form in English of 'error'.
Well done!

Have read half way through. Really impressed. Keep up the awesome work. Looking forward to seeing the finished product.

Thanks, got a bit of work to do, but I'll be back on track in no time.

 

[Fluffywolf]

I think I'll first make a past tense draft, see how it pans out. This could mean scenes will be rewritten a bit here and there, but if I like the new draft better, I'll be sure to make notes of any added important information.

 

[Fluffywolf]

Little question about writing in past tense. How to write facts?

For example, the following phrase is present tense:

It is regarded as highly disrespectful to interrupt a merchant halfway through a sentence.

Even if I write the events that play out as past tense, surely that sentence needs to stay in present tense? If I was writing about the 12th century and the case in point is no longer relative, then I could write it in past tense. But in fiction, that is not the case. For all the reader knows, the world that exists in my book, it is still the same.

 

[Fluffywolf]

Anonymous User 7908: I don't get that feeling from her so much. I feel her attachment as more that she is a fish out of water because there is some thing she is avoiding in her tribe (yet to be revealed ) and Kaynin was like an unexpected oasis. I think you've made Yelena strong enough that she *knows* she can survive on her own. She is just along with Kaynin for the ride because he helped her when she was hurt and because she's very go with the flow that way.
And because they have this underlying energy that makes them continue on this journey together.

Not sure who 7908 is, but here's my response.

We know Yelena has been with another human before, most likely a long time ago. I think her fear of losing Kaynin is a very plausible emotion if you take that into account. Sure she can take care of herself quite well, but does she really want to?

I'lll be going deeper into her past soon, but first I'm having some issues as to how far I want to take their swimming excursion.

 

[Fluffywolf]

*stretches finger*

Nice little update added. Sixty pages already!

Got a tough part to write coming up now, so next update might have some delay.

 

[Fluffywolf]

Since my last update I've been averaging now on a page per day. Work is currently dominating my life a bit with peoples taking vacations.

There is more to come though, in September I should have plenty of time again.

 

[Totenkindly]

Since my last update I've been averaging now on a page per day.

Even a page a day is better than no pages a day.

keep up the good work!

 

[Fluffywolf]

Even a page a day is better than no pages a day.

keep up the good work!

Definately, I'm sufficiently hooked to keep this going for a while.