Why is men wearing jewelry so taboo?

[Elfboy]

I think a little bit is ok - ie. a necklace and one or maybe two non-wedding rings. And something tasteful/understated.
More than that, to me, tends to make the guy look vain or like a player. I guess that's societal conditioning? But I genuinely think that some guys I've known who are really into jewelry have turned out to be just those things... Certainly not all, though.

my obvious response would be to ask why you associate these things with being vain or a player except
1) you have some anecdotal evidence and acknowledge that it is anecdotal and
2) I am extremely vain myself, so I would be being a hypocrite
thus, the question I will ask is, why is being vain a bad thing?

 

[Thalassa]

I'm just dying to know what kind of jewelry you wear. I am now envisioning a man in a casino in Las Vegas in the mid-70's.

 

[Antimony]

I'm not sure I would quite call it 'taboo.' Some places you'll get odd looks, some places you'll fit right in.

Same way with everyone.

 

[SilkRoad]

my obvious response would be to ask why you associate these things with being vain or a player except
1) you have some anecdotal evidence and acknowledge that it is anecdotal and
2) I am extremely vain myself, so I would be being a hypocrite
thus, the question I will ask is, why is being vain a bad thing?

Oh, I wouldn't say all guys who I've seen wearing jewelry have been players/vain - there would just be a bit more of a trend in that direction, I'd say. It just seems a bit more likely that he'll be that way, from my personal experience with non-jewelry-wearing men, and jewelry-wearing men.

Vanity - well, I find it unattractive as it suggests self-absorption. I totally agree with wanting to look good, but being obsessed with it or admiring yourself all day long, I don't find that attractive in another person.

 

[Elfboy]

Oh, I wouldn't say all guys who I've seen wearing jewelry have been players/vain - there would just be a bit more of a trend in that direction, I'd say. It just seems a bit more likely that he'll be that way, from my personal experience with non-jewelry-wearing men, and jewelry-wearing men.

Vanity - well, I find it unattractive as it suggests self-absorption. I totally agree with wanting to look good, but being obsessed with it or admiring yourself all day long, I don't find that attractive in another person.

even I think it has it's limits. it's not productive to pamper yourself 70 hours a week, fun though it may be

 

[Antimony]

You should post pictures of you and your style

 

[Randomnity]

I think it looks repulsive on men, unless it's extremely discreet and has personal meaning. A plain ring or a very discreet necklace, some guys can pull off, if they aren't too distracting. The casual bead/string necklace things can actually look good with the beach bum look. But all those awful chains, gems, etc....

I don't care if you wear them as long as I'm not dating (and therefore have to be attracted to) you, though.

 

[Thalassa]

Elfboy why won't you just describe the sort of jewelry you wear or show us a picture?

This all seems very strange to me that anyone would think it's so taboo unless it's more like cross-dressing.

 

[Elfboy]

I think it looks repulsive on men, unless it's extremely discreet and has personal meaning. A plain ring or a very discreet necklace, some guys can pull off, if they aren't too distracting. The casual bead/string necklace things can actually look good with the beach bum look. But all those awful chains, gems, etc....
I don't care if you wear them as long as I'm not dating (and therefore have to be attracted to) you, though.

why does a man have to look discreet but a woman can look bold and attention grabbing?

 

[violet_crown]

It's sexy when a guy can pull off an earring.

It's embarrassing when they cannot.

 

[Antimony]

More attractive to many females.

 

[Randomnity]

why does a man have to look discreet but a woman can look bold and attention grabbing?

It's not about what a "man should be" for me, it's simply what I find attractive. Other things I find unattractive that aren't related to manliness: bleached hair, spiky gel hair, fake (or tanning-bed) tan, pants falling down to knees, sideways baseball caps.

I don't find excessive jewelery attractive on women either for that matter, just not to the same degree.

Again, just my own opinion, blah blah blah. You're gay anyway so your target audience isn't women, so what do you care? Maybe gay men find it more attractive, I have no idea.

 

[Thalassa]

why does a man have to look discreet but a woman can look bold and attention grabbing?

This is due to gender roles in our culture, in which females mimic the bright colors, shiny things, et al, of some animals in nature in order to attract a mate.

It's not biologically inherent, though, because in some tribal cultures it is the men who wear make-up or whatever to win the admiration of the women.

It's just sexual gender roles in our culture...the reason why women traditionally wear make-up is because it mimics arousal, and there's that whole thing about how high heels make your butt stick out, as Victor will be happy to remind you.

I think it's related to the fact that men are supposed to be tough and due practical things physically, and a lot of jewelry could be an impediment to being able to pull that off.

 

[Elfboy]

It's not about what a "man should be" for me, it's simply what I find attractive. Other things I find unattractive that aren't related to manliness: bleached hair, spiky gel hair, fake (or tanning-bed) tan, pants falling down to knees, sideways baseball caps.

I don't find excessive jewelery attractive on women either for that matter, just not to the same degree.

Again, just my own opinion, blah blah blah. You're gay anyway so your target audience isn't women, so what do you care? Maybe gay men find it more attractive, I have no idea.

this isn't about attraction. personally, I'm not attracted to lots of jewelry, but I think jewelry can make people look more beautiful and attention grabbing (I am of course speaking about men's jewelry and not men wearing women's jewelry. that's weird)

 

[Elfboy]

Elfboy why won't you just describe the sort of jewelry you wear or show us a picture?

This all seems very strange to me that anyone would think it's so taboo unless it's more like cross-dressing.

stuff like this:

 

[Antimony]

You are pimpin'.

If you fell into the ocean, sharks would swarm you, thinking you were schools of fish
Frankly, it doesn't seem tooooo bad.

 

[Randomnity]

tons of guys wear stuff like the first three necklaces without many second looks. I think those rings are really tacky (well mostly the bottom one is god-awful, the other one's just tacky if it's a non-wedding ring) but I'm not the ultimate guide of style or taste, or a lover of jewelery at all, so ymmv.

Are you getting shit for wearing necklaces like that? Do you live in a very conservative area or something?

 

[Elfboy]

You are pimpin'.

If you fell into the ocean, sharks would swarm you, thinking you were schools of fish
Frankly, it doesn't seem tooooo bad.

I don't own any of this stuff btw lol

 

[Antimony]

I assumed as much. The pictures gave that away

But assuming it is stuff like that, I stand by my statement.



Btw, do gay men find that sort of stuff attractive?

 

[Elfboy]

tons of guys wear stuff like the first three necklaces without many second looks. I think those rings are really tacky (well mostly the bottom one is god-awful, the other one's just tacky if it's a non-wedding ring) but I'm not the ultimate guide of style or taste, or a lover of jewelery at all, so ymmv.

Are you getting shit for wearing necklaces like that? Do you live in a very conservative area or something?

I get shit for wearing an abercrombie necklace and wearing dress shirts with 2 buttons undone. it has nothing to do with being gay as much as people seem to think it's wrong to show any kind of sexuality as a man (I hate Kansas) they don't say anything to my face because they know I could verbally bitch slap them but I get looks a lot, and I don't think the way I dress even looks gay at all