The reasons for hating Dane Cook...

[EffEmDoubleyou]

FINE. Agree with him. *Ivy's patented hairflip*

You know what, sir? You can sleep on the couch tonight. In front of two million faceless people.

Sweet dreams.

Fine, be angry! You obviously still think that even asleep, I'm compelling enough to make two million people pay attention

 

[Nocapszy]

Fine, be angry! You obviously still think that even asleep, I'm compelling enough to make two million people pay attention

Counter-owned




Ivy has a patented hairflip?

 

[Ivy]

Counter-owned




Ivy has a patented hairflip?

I do. It's very haughty.

Is this really the first you've heard of an anti-Dane Cook movement, nocapszy?

 

[Mempy]

Fine, be angry! You obviously still think that even asleep, I'm compelling enough to make two million people pay attention

Well, when you wet the bed, maybe.

When you start talking unintelligibly in your sleep about how you want to go to candy mountain to frolick with Ghandi and Denzel Washington? Maybe.

When you.... wait, no, I can't say that.

When I put whipped cream on your face so you scratch it, getting it on your hand and smearing it all over the place, yeah, maybe.

Oh. I forgot the best part. You like to cross-dress in your sleep and sing Backstreet Boy songs.

Yeah, I think you'll get a few viewers. Hey! Maybe Dane Cook will tune in!


Nah.

 

[zarc]

OH FUCK I forgot about those commercials. Okay, I'm officially on the Dane Cook Blows bandwagon.

(He's still HOT AS HELL though. Hatesex!)

He's what?!!! Sweetheart, there are better....loads better of worthless people we can have you crush on...even I'll crush with you if you'll let this one go?

And though I did not watch Good Luck Chuck, I hear he made out with Jessica Alba. I've had a crush on her since Flipper days!! :steam:

It's not Hatesex. It's just Hate.

 

[Ivy]

Puh-leeze. I have crushes on many worthless people other than Dane Cook. I just really do think he is way cute. I am allowed this one flaw amongst my many triumphs!

BTW is there anything more substantial to say about hating Dane Cook? Seems like maybe we've said it all already- which means it may be time to retire this one to the land of fluff.

 

[zarc]

Puh-leeze. I have crushes on many worthless people other than Dane Cook. I just really do think he is way cute. I am allowed this one flaw amongst my many triumphs!

Okie, I shall grant it, though it pains me for you! The first step to recovery is admitting that you're attached to something bad for you. I have hope...

BTW is there anything more substantial to say about hating Dane Cook? Seems like maybe we've said it all already- which means it may be time to retire this one to the land of fluff.

Well, I don't keep track of the dude and don't care to know any more beyond what I unfortunatly know already. The Jessica Alba thing stings!! Curse him!

 

[The Ü™]

We should all hate Rob Zombie while we're at it, because I can't think of a bigger hack.

 

[EffEmDoubleyou]

We should all hate Rob Zombie while we're at it, because I can't think of a bigger hack.

I like Rob Zombie (and White Zombie) in a cheesy way. I'll never call him a great musician, but I find him an enjoyable one.

 

[The Ü™]

I like Rob Zombie (and White Zombie) in a cheesy way. I'll never call him a great musician, but I find him an enjoyable one.

I'll call him quite a dreadful filmmaker.

House of 1,000 Corpses, for example, was one of the biggest jokes in history. I pity the poor fools who think that movie is a work of genius.

 

[Mempy]

I'll call him quite a dreadful filmmaker.

House of 1,000 Corpses, for example, was one of the biggest jokes in history. I pity the poor fools who think that movie is a work of genius.

Yeah, you know, I like to pity people when they're enjoying themselves too. Why enjoy yourself when there are so many things in the world you can hate, huh? DANG, the list is endless. I haven't even gotten STARTED yet. You know what I'm gonna start with? I'm gonna start with hating college.

And the color of lipstick Lindsey Lohan was wearing on the cover of some tabloid I saw in the check-out line at the grocery store today. PUH-lease Lindsey. Puh-lease. It doesn't go with your skin tone AT ALL.

 

[The Ü™]

You know what I'm gonna start with? I'm gonna start with hating college.

I'm with you there. At least community college, which is not much different than high school. The thing I despise about college is the way they require people to take classes that aren't related to their field of interest.

For example, I want to learn the mathematical formulas to design roller coasters efficiently, I don't care about any other mathematical theory unless it is applicable to my own theoretical model.

 

[Ivy]

I'm with you there. At least community college, which is not much different than high school. The thing I despise about college is the way they require people to take classes that aren't related to their field of interest.

For example, I want to learn the mathematical formulas to design roller coasters efficiently, I don't care about any other mathematical theory unless it is applicable to my own theoretical model.

We wouldn't want anyone getting a well-rounded education, would we?

 

[SillySapienne]

Dane Cook is an interesting comic in that his whole shtick is heavily based, (I'd say roughly 90% of it), on his larger-than-life, charismatic delivery of what is indubitably an unoriginal, uninspired, wit-deprived, thought-recycling source of skimpy substandard material.


He is all bark and no dog.

All package and no present.


I view David Cross as Dane Cook's polar opposite, i.e. he's all content, while exhibiting minimal amounts of celebrated "cool".

 

[Ivy]

Interesting point CC. I have to say when I was trying to think of funny Dane Cook moments earlier in the thread, none of them sounded funny enough in text to even put down. "he has this thing about how you can't understand people in the drive thru!" Very mundane- but I'll admit, I laughed my ass off when I saw it. It's just his mannerisms, I think, that are funny about him.

David Cross is exceptionally low-key. But I find that charming in its own way.

 

[The Ü™]

We wouldn't want anyone getting a well-rounded education, would we?

If others want to get a well-rounded education, that's their decision.

I, on the other hand, want only the information that I find useful for either implementing or expanding my own conceptions or satisfies my curiosity.

 

[Ivy]

If others want to get a well-rounded education, that's their decision.

I, on the other hand, want only the information that I find useful for either implementing or expanding my own conceptions.

So go through a certificate program or get a technical degree instead of a traditional college degree. But if your career of choice requires traditional college then it's probably best if you just get over it.

 

[SillySapienne]

Interesting point CC. I have to say when I was trying to think of funny Dane Cook moments earlier in the thread, none of them sounded funny enough in text to even put down. "he has this thing about how you can't understand people in the drive thru!" Very mundane- but I'll admit, I laughed my ass off when I saw it. It's just his mannerisms, I think, that are funny about him.

David Cross is exceptionally low-key. But I find that charming in its own way.

In a sick sorta way, *looks left, looks right*, and strictly on an animalistic basis, I find Dane Cook sexually attractive.

He's chalk-full of testosterone and confidence, and in a hypothetical situation, sure, I'd do him.

But a guy like David Cross, a guy like him, would stop me in my tracks, and make me fall in love.

 

[Ivy]

In a sick sorta way, *looks left, looks right*, and strictly on an animalistic basis, I find Dane Cook sexually attractive.

He's chalk-full of testosterone and confidence, and in a hypothetical situation, sure, I'd do him.

But a guy like David Cross, would stop me in my tracks, and make me fall in love.

Totally. On all counts. And a guy like Jack Black who I think has both form and substance would be like the best of both worlds!

(On a related note- SEE, DD? I'm not the only one!)

 

[zarc]

In a sick sorta way, *looks left, looks right*, and strictly on an animalistic basis, I find Dane Cook sexually attractive.

He's chalk-full of testosterone and confidence, and in a hypothetical situation, sure, I'd do him.

But a guy like David Cross, a guy like him, would stop me in my tracks, and make me fall in love.

:horor: Not you too, CC! One of my female OL crushes, not you!!!

What do I have to do for you women? Use cosmetic surgery to look like that thing?!

Dane Cook, you!!! and deja vu...