TheGodson
New member
- Joined
- May 19, 2017
- Messages
- 25
- MBTI Type
- ENFP
- Enneagram
- ???
Stardate: 79412.8
Location: Bridge
Captain Picard: Ensign Wesley, I have an assignment for you.
Wesley: (ridiculously excited) What is it! I will gladly take whatever it... (more calm) I mean, what is it sir.
Riker: It seems little pee-pants here can't stop himself from wetting himself with excitement.
Wesley: Commander Riker, with all due respect that really hurt my feelings.
Worf: You are clearly not a man Wesley. In you were among Clingon warriors they would call you ra'ph paw'kff
Data: Allow me to translate since many of you look confused. Ra'ph paw'kff translates to the English phrase "little bitch". Other variants include "whiny brat", "pussy", "person-of-little-moxie", "man whore", "fu-
Picard: Yes, Data enough. Everyone shut the hell up. Riker, your boondoggle will get you killed on this ship quicker than a monkey learning French with a hollo-graphic-brain sematic enhancer. Now Wesley, allow me to tell you your assignment.
Wesley: Yes sir.
Picard: I need you to scoop Laforg's poop off of the deck. He no longer has control of his... his...
Deanna Troi: ...bowels
Picard: ...yes, that's it. bowels. He's embarrassed by it so I didn't want to draw too much attention to it. I want everyone listening to understand that Laforg is still a valued member of our crew regardless of his infantile abdominal dysfunctions.
Wesley: (smiles ridiculously wide) Captain, I can't begin to describe how honored I am to accept this responsibility. (looks up overly theatrical) To actually be scooping up a Starfleet officer's droppings, wow.
Riker: There will also be some mineral deposits in there for a young genius such as yourself to study.
Wesley: (continuing to be overly happy) It is really fascinating. The mineral deposits can teach me a lot. One day I'll be a man, but for now. (frowns) I'm just a child.
Laforge: Laforge to bridge
Picard: Aknowledged.
Laforge: Bridging ready?
Picard: ready.
Laforge: Bridging?
Picard: Bridge on.
(Laforge enters bridge.)
Laforge: Guys, I know that I've been pooping around the ship and I just... ughhhh. How do I say it... I want you all to know that I'm very sorry.
Picard: Well I think it is fair to say that everyone here has evolved to a much more sanctioning being. We are empathetic entities and can reflect on Lieutenant Geordie's issues. Throughout time mankind has progressed to being able to ponder in our self-indulged brilliance creating a perpetual state of exponentially growing intelligent. Our human desire to learn, to explore, to take risk, and be humbly human... makes us exquisitely extraordinary.
(Q appears)
Q: Hello, evolved little pea-brained humans. Your arrogance is so misguided. I'm so much more powerful. I just fucked a monkey. Created a miniature figurine of the Captain and made it take a bath in my oatmeal which I didn't even eat. Later I grew a boner and cut it off. Then I painted it green, pretended it was a pickle, and then ate it. But now I'm bored and decided to come here.
Picard: Damn it Q, stop meddling with us humans.
Data: Captain, I am puzzled by what a boner is. Why can I not have one. What is that sensation feel like? How does one acquire the state of mind to develop one.
Riker: Data, it is a great feeling. It can only be experienced.
Data: I still don't quite understand.
Deanna Troi: Data, when a male child becomes of age and he meets a special someone. He may develop... well... feelings. Those feelings can generate a physical response.
Wesley: (sheepishly) That reminds me captain. I... I... Nevermind. I'd rather talk about it later.
Data: Just an observation, but it appears that Riker and Worf's assessment of Wesley... was indeed accurate. He is indeed a pussy.
Wesley: No one understands me... I'm going to go beam myself into the sun and burn.
Picard: Wesley, wait. We are compassionate lifeforms. Let us embrace your conundrums.
(Wesley quickly leaves bridge)
Riker: Captain, permission to pretend to be a hero and save the boy?
Picard: Permission denied number one.
Deanna Troi: Ughhhhh!
Picard: What is it?
Deanna Troi: Confusion, such confusion. It is so overwhelming.
Picard: From where?! From Who?! Tell us!
(To be continued)
Okay, I was just doing this as a quick joke, but it ended up being a script. Too much quality work to erase it now though. I can't post it anywhere else so I guess it will stay here.
[MENTION=19700]Anaximander[/MENTION] You may use the "J" stick up your butt thing as your signature
I was basing my MBTI on season 1 and part of season 2 since I'm watching it on Netflix currently. So I guess that makes sense for Riker. It will be interesting to see the characters develop over time.
Interesting that you see Deanna as an introvert. She seems like such a people person. Her perspective on life seems to be from everyone else's perspective.
[MENTION=13589]Mal12345[/MENTION] That's an interesting fun fact. I've always found that when I insert myself into my own stories I don't like my own character for some reason. I wonder if Gene feels this way in retrospect.
Location: Bridge
Captain Picard: Ensign Wesley, I have an assignment for you.
Wesley: (ridiculously excited) What is it! I will gladly take whatever it... (more calm) I mean, what is it sir.
Riker: It seems little pee-pants here can't stop himself from wetting himself with excitement.
Wesley: Commander Riker, with all due respect that really hurt my feelings.
Worf: You are clearly not a man Wesley. In you were among Clingon warriors they would call you ra'ph paw'kff
Data: Allow me to translate since many of you look confused. Ra'ph paw'kff translates to the English phrase "little bitch". Other variants include "whiny brat", "pussy", "person-of-little-moxie", "man whore", "fu-
Picard: Yes, Data enough. Everyone shut the hell up. Riker, your boondoggle will get you killed on this ship quicker than a monkey learning French with a hollo-graphic-brain sematic enhancer. Now Wesley, allow me to tell you your assignment.
Wesley: Yes sir.
Picard: I need you to scoop Laforg's poop off of the deck. He no longer has control of his... his...
Deanna Troi: ...bowels
Picard: ...yes, that's it. bowels. He's embarrassed by it so I didn't want to draw too much attention to it. I want everyone listening to understand that Laforg is still a valued member of our crew regardless of his infantile abdominal dysfunctions.
Wesley: (smiles ridiculously wide) Captain, I can't begin to describe how honored I am to accept this responsibility. (looks up overly theatrical) To actually be scooping up a Starfleet officer's droppings, wow.
Riker: There will also be some mineral deposits in there for a young genius such as yourself to study.
Wesley: (continuing to be overly happy) It is really fascinating. The mineral deposits can teach me a lot. One day I'll be a man, but for now. (frowns) I'm just a child.
Laforge: Laforge to bridge
Picard: Aknowledged.
Laforge: Bridging ready?
Picard: ready.
Laforge: Bridging?
Picard: Bridge on.
(Laforge enters bridge.)
Laforge: Guys, I know that I've been pooping around the ship and I just... ughhhh. How do I say it... I want you all to know that I'm very sorry.
Picard: Well I think it is fair to say that everyone here has evolved to a much more sanctioning being. We are empathetic entities and can reflect on Lieutenant Geordie's issues. Throughout time mankind has progressed to being able to ponder in our self-indulged brilliance creating a perpetual state of exponentially growing intelligent. Our human desire to learn, to explore, to take risk, and be humbly human... makes us exquisitely extraordinary.
(Q appears)
Q: Hello, evolved little pea-brained humans. Your arrogance is so misguided. I'm so much more powerful. I just fucked a monkey. Created a miniature figurine of the Captain and made it take a bath in my oatmeal which I didn't even eat. Later I grew a boner and cut it off. Then I painted it green, pretended it was a pickle, and then ate it. But now I'm bored and decided to come here.
Picard: Damn it Q, stop meddling with us humans.
Data: Captain, I am puzzled by what a boner is. Why can I not have one. What is that sensation feel like? How does one acquire the state of mind to develop one.
Riker: Data, it is a great feeling. It can only be experienced.
Data: I still don't quite understand.
Deanna Troi: Data, when a male child becomes of age and he meets a special someone. He may develop... well... feelings. Those feelings can generate a physical response.
Wesley: (sheepishly) That reminds me captain. I... I... Nevermind. I'd rather talk about it later.
Data: Just an observation, but it appears that Riker and Worf's assessment of Wesley... was indeed accurate. He is indeed a pussy.
Wesley: No one understands me... I'm going to go beam myself into the sun and burn.
Picard: Wesley, wait. We are compassionate lifeforms. Let us embrace your conundrums.
(Wesley quickly leaves bridge)
Riker: Captain, permission to pretend to be a hero and save the boy?
Picard: Permission denied number one.
Deanna Troi: Ughhhhh!
Picard: What is it?
Deanna Troi: Confusion, such confusion. It is so overwhelming.
Picard: From where?! From Who?! Tell us!
(To be continued)
Okay, I was just doing this as a quick joke, but it ended up being a script. Too much quality work to erase it now though. I can't post it anywhere else so I guess it will stay here.
[MENTION=19700]Anaximander[/MENTION] You may use the "J" stick up your butt thing as your signature
I was basing my MBTI on season 1 and part of season 2 since I'm watching it on Netflix currently. So I guess that makes sense for Riker. It will be interesting to see the characters develop over time.
Interesting that you see Deanna as an introvert. She seems like such a people person. Her perspective on life seems to be from everyone else's perspective.
[MENTION=13589]Mal12345[/MENTION] That's an interesting fun fact. I've always found that when I insert myself into my own stories I don't like my own character for some reason. I wonder if Gene feels this way in retrospect.
