Fun ways to watch Star Wars

[Doctor Cringelord]

A while back someone came up with "Machete Order", where you watch the SW films in the following order:

A New Hope
Empire
Attack of the Clones
Revenge of the Sith
Return of the Jedi

the idea being that episodes II and III play like an extended flashback between V and VI, whilst also preventing spoilers that would otherwise ruin the big reveal at the end of Empire (not that it really matters since even people who haven't seen that movie know that plot point). That said, I think this is a way better way to view the films and actually makes II and III more enjoyable. It adds some weight to OT scenes with Ben and Yoda, because we get this nice long flashback showing us their failures and regrets and it really helps to explain why they were so worried about Luke being unready to face Vader.


So I came up with some other ways to watch the films.

Super Machete Order:

The Force Awakens
The Last Jedi
A New Hope
Empire Strikes Back
Return of the Jedi
Rise of Skywalker

This turns the OT into an extended flashback between episodes 8 and 9, sort of adding some "explanations" for who Luke is when he's encountered in The Last Jedi. The idea would be going into this that the viewer pretends they have zero knowledge of the OT era when starting Force Awakens. So this mysterious Luke curmudgeon we encounter in Last Jedi gets a nice extended flashback to explain his motivations and backstory before we head into the final film in the saga.


Super Super Machete Order

The Force Awakens
The Last Jedi
A New Hope
Empire Strikes Back
Attack of the Clones
Revenge of the Sith
Return of the Jedi
Rise of Skywalker

An extended flashback within an extended flashback!


The Rebel Collection: focuses on "the dark times" and the formative years of the rebel alliance up to their first major victory. If you want, you can shoehorn the Rebels series in between Solo and Rogue One

Solo
Rogue One
A New Hope

If one exists, find a fan edit of A New Hope including the deleted scenes at Anchorhead with Biggs. Just because it adds some exposition and lines referencing the Rebel Alliance.


The Ewok Saga

Caravan of Courage
Battle For Endor
Return of the Jedi

I had to look it up, but the Ewok films apparently took place prior to Jedi.


From The Fall to A New Hope:

Revenge of the Sith
Rogue One
A New Hope

Someone on youtube edited and spliced together the end of Rogue One with the beginning of A New Hope. Ideally, watch this with a spliced together edit of those two films.


The Clone Wars Saga:

Attack of the Clones
Clone Wars movie and series (make sure you watch them in the correct order. Some of the episodes actually aired out of chronological order.)
Revenge of the Sith


The Friendship of Han Solo and Chewbacca Collection aka The Solo Saga:

Solo
A New Hope
The Holiday Special (optional)
Empire Strikes Back
Return of the Jedi
The Force Awakens

 

[Doctor Cringelord]

The Kenobi Saga:

Phantom Menace
Attack of the Clones
any Clone Wars episodes focused on Kenobi, especially the ones where he's in love with that chick, since I think it adds to his character development, and also might explain how he was willing to overlook the obvious romance going on between Anakin and Padme
Revenge of the Sith
any Rebels episodes focused on Kenobi, plus the eventual Kenobi series
A New Hope

I'd add Empire and Jedi, but he's barely in those, and I think it ends on a nice note with A New Hope, since it really becomes Luke's story past that point.

 

[Doctor Cringelord]

The Lando Collection:

Solo
Rebels episodes with Lando
Empire
Jedi
Rise of Skywalker

 

[Julius_Van_Der_Beak]

I was thinking something like this, which I posted in my blog

Tpm
Solo
Rogue One
A New Hope
Empire Strikes Back
Attack of the Clones
Revenge of the Sith
Return of the Jedi
The Force Awakens
The Last Jedi
The Rise of Reddit

The first three are kind of one-offs, but also show the evolution of the galaxy and provide context to A New Hope. The machete order is invoked, followed by the sequel trilogy.

 

[Doctor Cringelord]

I was thinking something like this, which I posted in my blog

Tpm
Solo
Rogue One
A New Hope
Empire Strikes Back
Attack of the Clones
Revenge of the Sith
Return of the Jedi
The Force Awakens
The Last Jedi
The Rise of Reddit

The first three are kind of one-offs, but also show the evolution of the galaxy and provide context to A New Hope. The machete order is invoked, followed by the sequel trilogy.

I like the idea of keeping TPM first but then shuffling the other prequels into the machete order.

It doesn't really ruin the narrative flow, and it provides a more enjoyable way of looking at the history of the SW galaxy. Somehow Solo seems a good film to follow TPM with. Having this order also makes Vader's gradual reveal more dramatic. So we first see him in Rogue One as this mysterious figure, only gradually learning about how he fits into the grand scheme as we watch the next movies. That to me is a better flow for Vader, since if you look at his scenes in A New Hope, he's really not in it all that much and is basically a glorified henchman of Tarkin.

 

[Doctor Cringelord]

BTW I always thought Tarkin was a badass, being one of the few imperials who didn't seem one bit intimidated by Vader.

 

[Doctor Cringelord]

I was thinking something like this, which I posted in my blog

Tpm
Solo
Rogue One
A New Hope
Empire Strikes Back
Attack of the Clones
Revenge of the Sith
Return of the Jedi
The Force Awakens
The Last Jedi
The Rise of Reddit

The first three are kind of one-offs, but also show the evolution of the galaxy and provide context to A New Hope. The machete order is invoked, followed by the sequel trilogy.

I've actually been thinking of a similar ordering for a potential Alien/Predator marathon. Normally you'd start with Predator or AvP since they are earlier in the chronology, but I feel like that's a lousy way to watch them.

 

[Doctor Cringelord]

Alien
Aliens
Alien 3
Predator
Predator 2
Predators
AvP
Prometheus
Alien Covenant
Alien Resurrection

This omits AvP Requiem and The Predator

 

[Julius_Van_Der_Beak]

Alien
Aliens
Alien 3
Predator
Predator 2
Predators
AvP
Prometheus
Alien Covenant
Alien Resurrection

This omits AvP Requiem and The Predator

Did you like Prometheus? I think the bad rap it gets is somewhat unfair, but then, I did like TLJ. The only thing that bothers me is that Guy Pearce's old age makeup is really bad, and I also didn't understand what the point was of making him Charlize Theron's father.

 

[Doctor Cringelord]

Did you like Prometheus? I think the bad rap it gets is somewhat unfair, but then, I did like TLJ. The only thing that bothers me is that Guy Pearce's old age makeup is really bad, and I also didn't understand what the point was of making him Charlize Theron's father.

I liked Prometheus, I just didn't like how so many characters acted insanely stupid. This is supposed to be a group of trained scientists and yet they continue to make one stupid mistake after another. Like, let's all take off our environmental helmets and breathe in the air on this creepy alien ship. But then when I thought about it, these movies tend to be full of people acting stupid. Prometheus isn't really the exception in that regard. Scott is a great visual storyteller, kind of like Lucas, but if you look too closely at the story, there's a lot of loose threads that go nowhere such as the relationship between Charlize Theron and Weyland.

I enjoyed Alien Covenant too, but I actually think I'd have enjoyed it more minus the xenomorph and focusing more on David's arc and his house of horrors. I feel like the xenomorph was squeezed into the third act to appease fans who bitched about Prometheus not having xenomorphs. It feels like 2 different movies. It's halfway Prometheus 2, which Scott oringially intended, and halfway an Alien film. I liked that Prometheus despite being in a shared universe was focusing on a different thread than that explored in the alien films, so disappointing to see the second half of the movie turned into a generic alien prequel just to appease some fans and critics. I also hated the look of the xenomorph. I mean it was surely done with state of the art CGI and yet I found it looked worse than the xenomoprhs in any previous alien film.

 

[Julius_Van_Der_Beak]

I'm trying to practice Spanish by watching all the films in that language.

Yesterday, I watched TPM. I will say that Jar Jar is much less annoying in Spanish. It's still apparent, though, that George was so proud of his creation that he placed lots of unnecessary emphasis on the character at moments where he does nothing to further the plot or characters. I think that's probably the biggest part of the backlash against the character. I've stated my opinion that I still don't really see the racial angle to the character, or to Watto; I don't see anything particularly Jamaican or Yiddish about the way those characters talk. The Neimoidians are a different story, though. Really, the emphasis placed on Jar Jar should have instead been placed on Obi-Wan, who is largely a non-entity in this movie. Also, there are parts of that Tatooine portion of the movie that drag. I like the podrace, though.

I also think it's interesting that the force seems to operate as blind luck towards the climax of this movie, with the exception of Obi-Wan vs Maul scene where Maul failed to appreciate the importance of the high ground. (I assume the reason Obi-Wan told Anakin "don't try it" was because he did the exact same move on Maul and knew how to defend against it). It kind of reminds me of Chirrut in Rogue One.

In retrospect, I do appreciate the fact that we got a whole movie showing the galaxy at relative peace, though I haven't always felt that way in the past.

The prophecy stuff is annoyingly vague, and I like the way Yarael Poof approached the topic in that one Robot Chicken sketch. It's never clarified in any of the movies why the Jedi want to balance the Force; it doesn't seem like something they should want. I suppose with ROS it's now entirely irrelevant if one regards that movie as canon. I think the movie would have benefitted with telling us what the prophecy actually is so we could see how it could be interpreted both ways.

Solo will be next. I suppose it's also linked by the occurrence of Darth Maul. It's funny that I remember reading that Darth Maul originally fell down that shaft in one piece, and it was changed so that it was made clear that he couldn't come back.

And of course, they brought him back anyway.

But, he probably shouldn't have been offed like that in the first place. The later parts of the PT suffer from a problem where they keep on having to invent new secondary villains (because the characters can't be aware of the identity of the Phantom Menace) without really having the time to explain where the hell they came from. Maul would have solved this problem. Maybe Obi-wan just chops his arms off here instead, or something.

 

[The Cat]

And the Number 1 Most fun way to watch Star Wars:

With Friends.