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  1. #1
    Senior Member phoenix31's Avatar
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    Default INFPs and the dreaded networking

    So... I hate the word networking. I hate small talk, I hate people, I hate social events in general, and I certainly can't stand anybody that's phony just because they're ambitious and they want to use other people as a stepping stone to a better career.

    Also, I was raised in a closed religious community where any type of ambition and education was looked down upon, so I've got that going against me in terms of my general mindset and overcoming it.

    I am pursuing my BS and am currently learning about the importance of both volunteer work and networking in terms of eventual desired career outcome. And I suppose it's inevitable that I have to actually get out into the world with the intent and purpose of gaining experience and making professional connections. Ugh.

    I guess I just want to know if "networking" is even possible for INFPs and if so, what does it look like? Can one create professional connections in an authentic way that doesn't make you want to throw yourself off a roof? Are there any INFP's involved in business or successful in business, and how does one stay true to one's self and authentic in general while also making the necessary good resume building decisions that one must make?

    Also I'm curious if there are other types similar to INFP that tend to feel this way in general about "networking" and building social connections with a professional purpose in mind and how it's completely awful?

  2. #2

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    Your first paragraph sums my feelings up perfectly. With the exception that I don’t necessarily hate people, but I detest phonies and groveling. It’s definitely impeded me at times, but I’d rather face some roadblocks than sell my soul while exchanging crocodile smiles. It all reminds me of campaigns and politicians or CEO’s. *Shudders and washes hands thoroughly* It also depends on why you’re networking. In your case, it’s obviously not to win social media popularity contests, it’s business based. So I’d treat it as such. Be businesslike. I suppose it’s difficult at first to do that because it’s more like a service than anything and that means you need something to offer in return for their cooperation. Starting to feel the need to wash my hands again. Buy lots of hand sanitizer.

    I’m glad I don’t have to engage in much of this nonsense. I’m far too honest (rude?) to pretend I like people I don’t like. My dislike for someone just pours out of my subconscious when I attempt to conceal it. Micro expressions or a barely perceptible tone of disdain, those sorts of things just emerge. If I don’t keep a stone face going my filter can be nonexistent at times.

    The pursuit of business and being genuine seem to part ways the higher an individual climbs or the bigger a company becomes. It’s the nature of it. The further into the machine you venture, the more you become the machine. Good luck.

  3. #3
    🍓 girl in an 🍎 world SurrealisticSlumbers's Avatar
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    I've been to 'networking events.' None of which led anywhere or put me in the network of anyone I had any interest in knowing. Just creepy old dudes.

    @Population: 1 pretty much summed up my sentiments. It's a waste of time, gas and makeup imho.
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  4. #4
    Pyromanic tea Earl Grey's Avatar
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    Ew. Networking.

    Anyway, I don't know what you're going to be working as, but people probably recognize that business connections are well, business connections.
    It's not often that it goes any deeper than it. You don't have to fake-friendly or anything like that, just stick to utility and maintain a degree of professionalism.
    After a while, people won't be looking at whether your face is smiling or not if you have a good established background, skillset, etc.

    Admittedly, knowing many people helps, but if makes you want to throw yourself off a cliff you don't have to overdo it (it's easy to, what with everyone putting so much stress / importance on it now). Go for what you need, keep what you already have. And, keep in mind the person you're talking to is also looking at you from a utility standpoint; it's a fair exchange.

    Quote Originally Posted by phoenix31 View Post
    So... I hate the word networking. I hate small talk, I hate people, I hate social events in general, and I certainly can't stand anybody that's phony just because they're ambitious and they want to use other people as a stepping stone to a better career.
    If it makes you feel better (?) everyone is doing it anyway.
    A lot of phoniness (legit phoniness, not just people being inauthentic) go into the making / running of a business.
    Non mi snudare senza ragione.
    Non mi impugnare senza valore.

  5. #5
    A Bittersweet Symphony... The Mysterious Stranger's Avatar
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    *Enters with Networking merch, and wearing an I networking foam finger... takes a look around, checks day planner, checks Marriott conference room number.*

    Well, guess it's time for me to be hitting the old dusty trail...

    I am but a dream--
    Your dream,
    A creature of your imagination...


    We're all Faery Tales; after a fashion,
    Our stories unfolding around us...
    and through us...



    In a moment you will have realized this,
    then you will banish me from your visions
    and I shall dissolve into the nothingness out of which you made me...

    Likes Population: 1, phoenix31 liked this post

  6. #6
    silentigata ano (profile) /DG/'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gentleman Jack View Post
    *Enters with Networking merch, and wearing an I networking foam finger... takes a look around, checks day planner, checks Marriott conference room number.*

    Well, guess it's time for me to be hitting the old dusty trail...

    I didn't even know people like you existed! I just assume everyone hates networking and just sees it as an unfortunate necessity.
    Likes The Mysterious Stranger liked this post

  7. #7
    A Bittersweet Symphony... The Mysterious Stranger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by /DG/ View Post
    I didn't even know people like you existed! I just assume everyone hates networking and just sees it as an unfortunate necessity.

    Networking makes the world go 'round, and it can be quite enjoyable. It doesn't have to be rank toadyism or backstabbery and skullduggery; it can be quite rewarding. Building teams and bridges. But I'm probably not the target audience...
    I am but a dream--
    Your dream,
    A creature of your imagination...


    We're all Faery Tales; after a fashion,
    Our stories unfolding around us...
    and through us...



    In a moment you will have realized this,
    then you will banish me from your visions
    and I shall dissolve into the nothingness out of which you made me...

    Likes Peter Deadpan liked this post

  8. #8
    silentigata ano (profile) /DG/'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gentleman Jack View Post
    Networking makes the world go 'round, and it can be quite enjoyable. It doesn't have to be rank toadyism or backstabbery and skullduggery; it can be quite rewarding. Building teams and bridges. But I'm probably not the target audience...
    Yeah, I guess I could see why extroverts could like it. I think introverts just get miffed that it is such a necessity. It plays more to extrovert strengths than introvert ones.
    Likes LittleCat liked this post

  9. #9
    𝕯ყ๓คჯιơŋ Luminous's Avatar
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    What kind of networking are we talking about?
    ✦ᏖᏒᎥᎮ ค ℓιɬɬℓɛ Ꮭıɠɧɬ ʄคŋɬคʂɬıƈ✦ -: ✦ :- ƒ O ᖇ G E ᗪ I ᑎ ƒ I ᖇ E ❋-: ✦ :-★ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ꜰᴇᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇᴇʟꜱ★
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  10. #10
    Somber and irritated cascadeco's Avatar
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    While it's highly unlikely I'm an INFP, I can relate enough to the comments in this thread, and also have a few good friends who are really really good networkers (to contrast with myself, ha), to believe/say that I don't think there's much purpose in your trying to 'network' if you're uncomfortable about it and there's no way for you to find a more natural, personalized way of doing it where you're 'ok' doing it. Any discomfort or forced element of it will be apparent I think, ie people can tell when someone is not comfortable or not enjoying themselves....which 100% defeats the purpose which is to meet people who you might have stuff in common with or who might be good people to know professionally to give you tips, advice, etc, and who if they like you could eventually give you a job. I mean that's the whole point of it, though obviously there are a lot of b.s.'ers out there.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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