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  1. #11
    Senior Member mgbradsh's Avatar
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    I am terrible at Networking. I don’t have a LinkedIn, I absolutely refuse to friend co-workers on Facebook and I am extremely bad at maintaining friendships when I’m not in regular contact with someone - all which seem like effective skills to have if you want to attain higher levels of success in life.

    I don’t think it’s necessarily needed though. I think there are some peopl (a lot, maybe even most) that get ahead more by networking than skill. It’s the foundation of the “Old Boys Club.” However, people with knowledge and skill in their field still do really well. It’s more difficult and a lot more frustrating, but you’ll get there in the long run.

    I’ve kind of learned to play to my strengths. I could go to a Networking event, talk to one person that I already knew and waste a whole night, or get some work done that will get me ahead in other ways.
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  2. #12
    HOLY blessblessblessbless   PRIDE MONTH™ Earl Grey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gentleman Jack View Post
    Networking makes the world go 'round, and it can be quite enjoyable. It doesn't have to be rank toadyism or backstabbery and skullduggery; it can be quite rewarding. Building teams and bridges. But I'm probably not the target audience...
    Interesting.
    Could it be said that because Introverts generally dislike socializing, the only reason to socialize they see in a business setting, would be for, well, business, and nothing more? As opposed to extroverts who can still gain an energy boost or some sort of fulfillment, 'real' friends / connections etc from it.

    I do know that several of my friends, especially the E-FPs are very much able to make 'friends' with people they have just met. A real big one that comes to mind is an ESFP, who worked with me in the marketing section of a company. He does have a genuine focus / actual degree of connection when doing so, and was the first to welcome me. Guess what he did, show me the ropes? No. Introduced me to every one cast member and offered to help me make friends. Despite this, he does maintain his connections professional.


    I would like to hear it from an extrovert, if you wouldn't mind (others, extroverted or not, are welcome to pitch in as well);

    1. How do you feel about workplace relationships? What do you go after / focus on?
    2. What do you think / feel when you have to network? What makes it easy / what makes you like it, and what are parts you dislike / make it hard?
    3. How do you network best, and how do you maintain your networks?
    4. Do you think Introverts are bad at networking? Should they get better at it? If yes, how/why?


    Thank you in advance, for any replies.



    EDIT: Oh boy this is probably worthy of its own thread.
    If a mod / the OP wants to move it (though I think the responses could help OP too) I wouldn't mind.
    Non mi snudare senza ragione.
    Non mi impugnare senza valore.
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  3. #13
    You have a choice! 21%'s Avatar
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    Not INFP -- but I really hate the whole concept of networking, even when intellectually I feel like there shouldn't be anything wrong with it. That said, sometimes there are good, honest people who are just doing it because they have to. But then again, sometimes there are those I-inherited-my-family's-business-and-I'm-super-rich guys/girls that I just can't stand.

    My INFP SO probably hates it even more than I do.
    4w5 sp/sx EII
    Fear less, love more, be the change you want to see in the world.

  4. #14
    A Bittersweet Symphony... Eryn Silverfrond's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ixaerus View Post
    Interesting.
    Could it be said that because Introverts generally dislike socializing, the only reason to socialize they see in a business setting, would be for, well, business, and nothing more? As opposed to extroverts who can still gain an energy boost or some sort of fulfillment, 'real' friends / connections etc from it.

    I do know that several of my friends, especially the E-FPs are very much able to make 'friends' with people they have just met. A real big one that comes to mind is an ESFP, who worked with me in the marketing section of a company. He does have a genuine focus / actual degree of connection when doing so, and was the first to welcome me. Guess what he did, show me the ropes? No. Introduced me to every one cast member and offered to help me make friends. Despite this, he does maintain his connections professional.


    I would like to hear it from an extrovert, if you wouldn't mind (others, extroverted or not, are welcome to pitch in as well);

    1. How do you feel about workplace relationships? What do you go after / focus on?
    2. What do you think / feel when you have to network? What makes it easy / what makes you like it, and what are parts you dislike / make it hard?
    3. How do you network best, and how do you maintain your networks?
    4. Do you think Introverts are bad at networking? Should they get better at it? If yes, how/why?


    Thank you in advance, for any replies.



    EDIT: Oh boy this is probably worthy of its own thread.
    If a mod / the OP wants to move it (though I think the responses could help OP too) I wouldn't mind.

    1. How do you feel about workplace relationships? What do you go after / focus on?

    Work place relationships first and foremost are workplace relationships. I try to keep a certain degree of professionalism. What I go after? Mostly I go after fostering relationships where I see potential. As I see it its in my/the companies best interest if my team mates are successful in their endeavors on the job and I'll do what I can to assist with that (within reason of course) As time goes on sometimes those relationships dvelop past the work place. Successful connections are better than unsuccessful ones, so as I see it, it's in my best interest that whatever department I'm in, flourish, so I'll do what I can to foster that growth within the bounds of professionalism. (as much as is practical/possible)


    1. What do you think / feel when you have to network? What makes it easy / what makes you like it, and what are parts you dislike / make it hard?

    To be hoest I spend the first few days pretty quiet, unless directly engaged or I have a question. I want to observe and understand the current of the work place. I watch and listen as I work, figure out the social lay of the land, which supervisors want to get the job done, whcih ones are just failing upwards on the success of the people under them, and which other employees are gossips, which ones arent, whos there to milk the clock vs who's there to work; I focus on my job and start finding ways that I can assist others in weaker areas for them, which might be strong for me, and vice versa. I make it a point to volunteer for the jobs I KNOW no one else wants. I'm self directed, and I hate just standing around on the clock, so I'm always doing something job related at work. This ethic works great with employers and employees who show up for their job ready to work and kick ass, and who want the machine running as smooth as possible. It can make a few smiling enemies of folk who think you make them look bad, and some of those folks will be your supervisors (which sucks), but unfortunately thems the bricks, you can either move on, or hope they do. But you're probably not going to be able to network properly with them, unless you can be a convincing enough fake failure to put their minds at ease, but the next work day is gonna throw that illusion out the window cause shit needs doing and I aint got time to make a failure look like a success if they're not going to help me help them. (ie I will dress a pig in a tuxedo, but I cant stop it from going to the mud) There's always someone in the chain of command who is gonna feel threatened by a hard worker and a smooth running team. (Ime at least)


    1. How do you network best, and how do you maintain your networks?

    Availibility to lend a helping hand, a keen observation for what needs doing, a professionally mercenary mindset, keeping a good sense of humor and humility, and respecting confidences whenever possible. Basically I endeavor to simply be one hell of a butler. As for maintaining. That entirely depends. Some require a close constant engaeing. Regualr calls, holiday cards, phone calls/ texts. Others are much more free range and are served better by letting distance foster between them then every six months to a year, you check in with a phone call, maybe set up a mini hang for drinks or whatever their interests might be. I find one of the most rewarding aspects of networking comes from the myriad new activities I get to learn about and engage in I wouldnt have otherwise gotten to enjoy: For example I play golf. TERRIBLY I am hopeless at it. Not the worst I've ever seen. But I ant gonna come close to beating most folks. Now I make no secrets I'm not good at it. And most folks who play with me, end up having as much fun watching me goof off on the green (I know how to lose amusingly)But they know when we talley score cards, they're gonna get mine back, and see I've been playing hang man or whatever my favorite was birdie watching. (Saw several eagles, ) Really it comes down to the people you're trying to network with. For me it's not so much about what you can and cant do well (apart from what you were hired for) its about having the kind of attitude that wants to experience things outside of your comfort. So long as it doesn't interfere with me clocking in and out on time. Or letting to many of my other responsibilities fall apart. I will network till the cows come home. But as to how. It really depends on said network what works with one wont necessarily work with another. There's a bit of uncertainty to it at times. Just don't think about it too much and just sort of dance in step to the music.


    1. Do you think Introverts are bad at networking? Should they get better at it? If yes, how/why?

    Not in the least. I think many introverts believe theyre bad at it. and arguably what you believe informs your reality, but no I dont think anyone is inherently bad at it without choosing to be on some level for whatever reason (there are plenty of extroverts who are terrible at it, and many introverts who are true masters.) As to should those who arent good at it get better? Well if you want to. From what I've seen a lot of the objections come from it feels fake, if it feels fake and you try to "act the part" well you're just acting fake, because of your own inner feeling of it. If you can find a way to make it genuine for yourself (and it 100% can be) then a lot of the fake phoniness drains out like a bucket with a hole in the bottom.

    And remember folks there is a difference between networking and nepotism networking and toadyism, networking and skullduggery, and networking and being fake. Not everyone who engages in the activity knows this it seems and I think that's why there's largely a big stigma with networking imo.

    Did this answer your questions?
    With all due respect,
    Eryn Silverfrond
    & Gentleman Jack

    I am the Cat who walks by Himself; and all places are alike to me...
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  5. #15
    Can't be satisfied. Peter Deadpan's Avatar
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    Start with one person that you don't hate, and just see what happens from there.
    Perpetual mood


    “Sometimes I think I have felt everything I'm ever gonna feel.
    And from here on out, I'm not gonna feel anything new.
    Just lesser versions of what I've already felt.”


    - look it up yourself


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