User Tag List

123 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 31

  1. #1
    Junior Member GoggleGirl17's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    MBTI
    ISFP
    Enneagram
    4w3 sp/sx
    Socionics
    ILI
    Posts
    4

    Default 25 with no accomplishments, and no career is appealing

    I don't have my own place, I make barely enough to survive, my husband can't work, and on top of that we have a 13-month-old together. Honestly I feel like dying every day. I feel unfulfilled, regretful, stagnant, overwhelmed... I never went to college because there was nothing I felt called to do, and I didn't want to waste my time, energy, and money on something I was not passionate about. I thought that eventually I would have some idea about what I want, but I've only found myself ironically wasting my life anyway. When I try to reevaluate my goals, I only feel discouraged. I've gotten excited about teaching in Japan, but you need a 4-year-degree, and I know deep down I'd only be doing it for the chance to travel, not because I want to teach. I've also thought about flipping houses, or designing a business and becoming an entrepreneur, but you need a lot of money, or another passion to back it up. Nothing I enjoy is marketable or affordable, so I feel my only solution is to become a plumber and work for money rather than enjoyment so that I have the money to do what I love, but even with that money, I still don't know if I will feel a reason to live. I'm afraid I'll still feel I have sacrificed the majority of myself to something I don't value.
    Does anyone have some serious advice to offer?
    Likes The Cat liked this post

  2. #2
    Tempbanned
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    6 sp
    Posts
    8,928

    Default

    You are still young... a child complicates things- your money is not all yours... but have you considered maybe getting an associates degree? You could apply to community colleges- pay for cheaper classes, and graduate and open up your options for yourself and for your child.

    I know personally I hate feeling trapped in anything. And I can understand how just your situation right now can make you feel that way. But there ARE things you can do. It might take time but- just knowing you are moving towards something might help you feel more in control of your own situation/fate.

    Also. Community colleges might have free counseling services- the suicidal feelings arent things you should have to deal with on your own (but I do feel like they are likely to decrease JUST by having tje feeling of having more doors open- but Im not a professional so I cant say for sure)- anyways. Im not sure if any of this is what youd want to do or even viable considering your specific situation- but its something to think about maybe.

    (Also... there is definitely value in raising children and being a good mother- so you HAVE already accomplished something- just saying. )
    Likes GoggleGirl17, Kas, Luminous, JAVO, Suaimhneas and 1 others liked this post

  3. #3
    Junior Member alexa0ne's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2018
    Posts
    7

    Default

    You need to figure out what you really wanted to do. Explore until you find what you are passionate about. You are still young, don't overstress yourself.

  4. #4
    Member wildmoon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    MBTI
    INTP
    Posts
    92

    Default

    What are your hobbies? Maybe there's some way you could fit one of them into a career. Also I agree with Frosty, raising a kid is definitely an accomplishment.

  5. #5
    Junior Member GoggleGirl17's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    MBTI
    ISFP
    Enneagram
    4w3 sp/sx
    Socionics
    ILI
    Posts
    4

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by wildmoon View Post
    What are your hobbies? Maybe there's some way you could fit one of them into a career. Also I agree with Frosty, raising a kid is definitely an accomplishment.
    Re-organizing rooms. I like to experiment with how doing that affects the aesthetic of the room; I'm interested in interior design. I like critiquing the layouts and design choices of buildings and businesses, and also the way businesses are run. Other than that, I've been trying to budget to go rock wall climbing once a week, and take horseback riding lessons once a month. I can't afford to, but I also love white water rafting, and like to play World of Warcraft.

    I was once very enthusiastic about a dessert parlor I was designing. I had everything planned out to my satisfaction and felt proud of those plans and details, until my interest in the culinary arts started to wane. Then all of my ideas became useless.
    Likes The Cat liked this post

  6. #6
    Doot Dat Doot Dat asynartetic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    MBTI
    ISTJ
    Enneagram
    9 sx/so
    Posts
    14,194

    Default

    maybe you should dump him and upgrade.

  7. #7
    Fabula rasa Kas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Posts
    2,554

    Default

    I understand how it is to feel trapped and blaming yourself for it. This is hard for idealists, but considering people I know only about 30-50% are passionate about their job. Many work only to make for living or perhaps to realize their passiones somewhere else.

    I am just saying that you can find your passion somewhere else, it doesn't need to be necessarily work. It can be family. Or like you said you would want to travel, perhaps if you manage to save for a trip from time to time (and sometimes even close places are incredible) or these rock climbing, horse riding you mentioned.

    But if you are passionate about design go for it. Try to look what are your options here- I assume first you would need to find way to link education with job.
    “The world is full of obvious things which nobody by any chance ever observes." A.C. Doyle

    Likes prplchknz, GoggleGirl17, Falcarius liked this post

  8. #8
    Head Pigeon Mad Hatter's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    -1w sp/sx
    Socionics
    IOU Ni
    Posts
    1,044

    Default

    Don't get too hung up on the kind of work at this point. Speaking as a dad myself, you should think of bringing home the bacon, to be honest.
    Most work isn't enjoyable, or even supposed to be. Rather than find something you enjoy, think of getting some sort of job where you get along well with your coworkers.
    IN SERIO FATVITAS.

    -τὸ γὰρ γράμμα ἀποκτέννει, τὸ δὲ πνεῦμα ζῳοποιεῖ-
    Likes Forever_Jung liked this post

  9. #9
    Macabre Reputation Thestralis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/sx
    Posts
    24,249

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by GoggleGirl17 View Post
    Re-organizing rooms. I like to experiment with how doing that affects the aesthetic of the room; I'm interested in interior design. I like critiquing the layouts and design choices of buildings and businesses, and also the way businesses are run. Other than that, I've been trying to budget to go rock wall climbing once a week, and take horseback riding lessons once a month. I can't afford to, but I also love white water rafting, and like to play World of Warcraft.

    I was once very enthusiastic about a dessert parlor I was designing. I had everything planned out to my satisfaction and felt proud of those plans and details, until my interest in the culinary arts started to wane. Then all of my ideas became useless.
    Learning a skilled trade like plumbing (or are you already a trained plumber?) is not a bad foray into the world of interior design. I suspect most interior designers are short on the technical nuts-and-bolts side of how to make a design happen, and those skills would give you a leg up for an eventual transition. Meanwhile you can make some good money, and good contacts in the building and renovation industry.
    They are quite gentle, really, but people avoid them because they are a bit . . . different.

  10. #10
    You have a choice! 21%'s Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    3,128

    Default



    But straight to practical advice: first, you need to make money to survive. Make sure you have a safety net. Build up some savings. I don't know what the exact goal should be, but having enough money (to the point you don't have to be stressed about money) will allow you the freedom to slowly evaluate your situation. Right now if you can't afford to quit your job and try something else, it will be difficult to find answers, because any option you try right now will be fraught with insecurity and anxiety, which will affect your judgment of what it really is.
    4w5 sp/sx EII
    Fear less, love more, be the change you want to see in the world.
    Likes GoggleGirl17, JAVO, Suaimhneas liked this post

Similar Threads

  1. [Si] Coward with no money, and low self esteem...seeking attractive and intelligent woman.
    By EnflamedHeartofSand in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 32
    Last Post: 03-07-2013, 03:53 PM
  2. [ENFJ] How possible is it to confuse an ESFP with an ENFJ and vice versa?
    By Lightyear in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 24
    Last Post: 09-17-2009, 09:49 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO