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  1. #21

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    Giving birth can also count as an accomplishment, at least I advise you to treat it as one, and make sure your kid knows you're proud of it as well.

    Other than that I think staying positive is a good initial step, stay positive and try to work your way up to a suitable career, something you're passionate about, as long as you don't give up you'll eventually reach it regardless of how difficult it may be.

    I wish you the best of luck in the future!

  2. #22
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    It can be easy to become discouraged when work is presented in the sense that you're describing here, its just possible that its unlikely work is ever going to be as satisfying and a source of so much existential joy as a lot of people make out, as I've gotten older I've gotten way more wary and way more suspicious of that sort of thinking and message. There's a lot of ways that its encouraged in people only so other people can exploit it for their own ends.

    That said, I'm quite socialistic in my out look, I think that good work can set you up in so many ways, besides earning a living (which is pretty important too, all said). The question is what's "good work", well, the only person who can answer that is you, its pretty subjective and I think deserves to be. Life can be pretty absurd, avoiding college because you thought it may not prove to be time well spent only to find that you dont think you have spent that time well anyway is just one example of it. Everyone experiences that absurdity but since its experienced individually everyone has to decide their own response to it.

    For me "good work" is any work, why wouldnt you take the chance to do as many different jobs as you could and experience as many different work places, work mates, types of work, sorts of jobs and develop different sorts of skills as you could, before you're too old to perform as many of them or whatever. Part of the reason that I like ideas such as universal basic incomes is that I imagine it would provide that sort of flexibility to be this year doing one thing and the following year doing another different thing, perhaps even within a shorter timescale than a year, who knows.

    Plus I remember a kid talking to me once who was steeped in anti-corporate thinking who told me that they didnt think they wanted to take a job working in McDonalds or somewhere because they'd be serving corporations, I said what, that's a bit privileged, its not a case of being selective about jobs and refusing work when you can, you should do the opposite, take any work that's available.

    What I would say about it all is that you should be constantly thinking about your resume or CV and building it and working on it, every week or couple of weeks, think about how the work you're doing is allowing you to amend it or build it or if it doesnt then think about a change, maybe, possibly, as work does involve more for people who are thinking about it that way than simply earning an income. That can be hard work to begin with, it can be something that seems like a chore but when you get all the initial work on it done and its something you can do without as much effort and you can track and log effort too its easier as you go.
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  3. #23
    Senior Member great_bay's Avatar
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    It's actually pretty normal to feel the way you do OP. There were surveys done and most people dislike their jobs. Most jobs out there aren't really more fulling than working at retail or Mcdonalds. A lot of people later on their life go back to college in order to avoid the fate from working at retail or McDonald for the rest of their lives.

    I am glad I went back to college and on my way to earning a degree.
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  4. #24

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    Quote Originally Posted by GoggleGirl17 View Post
    Re-organizing rooms. I like to experiment with how doing that affects the aesthetic of the room; I'm interested in interior design. I like critiquing the layouts and design choices of buildings and businesses, and also the way businesses are run. Other than that, I've been trying to budget to go rock wall climbing once a week, and take horseback riding lessons once a month. I can't afford to, but I also love white water rafting, and like to play World of Warcraft.

    I was once very enthusiastic about a dessert parlor I was designing. I had everything planned out to my satisfaction and felt proud of those plans and details, until my interest in the culinary arts started to wane. Then all of my ideas became useless.
    Save the money from your hobbies, to put towards interior design courses.

  5. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by great_bay View Post
    It's actually pretty normal to feel the way you do OP. There were surveys done and most people dislike their jobs. Most jobs out there aren't really more fulling than working at retail.

    I am glad I went back to college and on my way to earning a degree.
    I would agree with that.

    Its interesting to see that job satisfaction still matters, I think that the extent to which "being your own boss" and self-employment of some sort remains a goal for many points up that for a lot of people lousy management is still and issue but I cant help but think a big part of it is that jobs, any job, cant really provide what people are looking for out of life.

    I remember reading a lot discussions about this a long time when marxism hadnt disappeared altogether as a force in public opinion (and that was a little later in my part of the world than anywhere else I'm beginning to discover). All the talk was about what work could be for people and what was a realistic expectation of work, talk about alienation and work and whether work was any the less alienated or alienating in the communist world to it was everywhere else and what that meant anyway.

    Was alienation just a matter of a magic percentage being made off with by capitalists or business owners who werent giving people the full value of their labour (because they couldnt, not even if they wanted to) or was it something else, not a percentage but some part of your individual sovereignty, the psychological injury of having to be servile towards others, of work being a chore, a bind, a hateful thing, instead of being about creativity, artistry, mad skillz.

    I love a lot of these philosophical musings and perspectives on things, I think asking the questions and thinking about them is a good all in itself, but it can either prove just depressing or something else depending on other things I think. Personally, I always think you have to qualify your conclusions by the fact that you have to live in the real world and avoid utopianism while keeping the hopeful bent alive at the same time and enjoying the small pleasures (like when you get to go in late or leave early or when they finally repair the lift you use to get to the office).
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  6. #26
    Give me a fourth dot. The Tsarevich's Avatar
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    I'm 35, and I'm in the same boat as you. So, I probably shouldn't be offering you any advice on what to do. But, I can maybe advise on what NOT to do.

    My suggestion, as nicely as possible, is not to go into English teaching.

    When I was your age, that's exactly what I did. And to this day, I struggle to repatriate myself. I've dealt with illness and depression and other psychological issues since embarking, and forever curse the day I left America.

    I'm not saying this will happen to you, but simply that I find TEFL to be exploitative and depressing. I, too, taught in Japan and...well, you don't get much time to travel tbh. I was putting in 80 hour work weeks and still not making ends meet. I was a social prisoner to a society I would never be a part of. Some people have good experiences, but don't do it just because you need something to do. Do it because you genuinely enjoy teaching English and/or are interested in the culture of the country. (There are countries that accept high school degrees.)

    Sorry I know that wasn't helpful. There's a solution out there somewhere, I just don't have it. All I can do is put in a word of caution on the TEFL idea.
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  7. #27
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    I think many people confuse liking something with having a "passion" for it. If you can consider anything else other than something that you're "passionate" about, you're not passionate. It's obsessive, it forms an unexplainable drive. You can hate the conditions that you work in and people who you work with, and still be passionate and willing to give everything up for it.

    Basically, "passion" is something that you feel, on a gut level, is important enough to fight for, to change yourself for, and to give everything up for. An unwavering compass that forms the perspective from which you interpret all information that you receive, if you will. If you haven't found something like that, it's fine. Most people don't, and it isn't necessary to living a productive or happy life. Passion also has terrible drawbacks and a high price to pay - usually by the people in your life, and in your relationships and quality of life. What's shiny on the outside, that people admire, is very different from the lived reality.

    At 25, you have time ahead of you. I didn't find my passion until I was 28/29 and had lived a major health crisis. I wasted my time before that being worried about definitions of success and about finding something that I "wanted" to do. The truth was that I hadn't lived long enough or experienced enough to sharpen my view about what was important to me (more like I feel compelled to do, at almost any cost). Living isn't just survival. But it also isn't necessary to have a passion to live well. There's more than one philosophy that can produce a happy life.
    "How badly did you have to break it to make it care about people so much?"
    "That didn't break it. It's what made it work."

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  8. #28
    Senior Member anticlimatic's Avatar
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    Yeahhhh, unfortunately the only thing we have to help young people find their productive place in society is a racket of an education system whose primary concern has nothing to do with helping anyone and everything do with with funneling exorbitant amounts of money into the system- financed by banks in the immediate, but dumped on your shoulders as debt in the long term. Most people who find happiness and success still just stumble into it on accident despite all the bullshit they've been told, so having a contrarian spirit can come in handy towards that end. I think it is an absolute travesty that people who speak about career passion never differentiate or discuss the relationship between form and content, and actually completely ignore the 'form' angle all together.

    Work is a process, not an object or an aesthetic, therefore it is by definition a form (verb) not a content (noun). People passionate about 'helping people' go into the recommended social work only to realize that 'helping people' actually just entails growing a fat ass at a desk cubicle at DHS and talking to awful people who, every day little by little, make them question any faith they might have had in humanity to begin with. By converting the verb into a noun the verb is ultimately destroyed. Here's another example- people who are passionate about the artistic elements of photography go into it as a business, and discover that day in and day out they end up taking the exact same pictures of the same senior portraits and weddings, and ultimately lose any of the artistic pleasure that first brought them into the field.

    OP seems to enjoy design, but what is it exactly about the designing process that they enjoy? Is it the from-scratch creative freedom element? Because if they go into design as a profession, it will largely be other people telling them what they want, and her responsibility to adapt those needs to the reality of the situation, which makes it more of an adaptation field in the truer 'verb' sense, than a creative field in the 'noun' sense (not that adaptation isn't creative, just might not be what people expect). If you really get to know what type of form you need for work satisfaction, you can find it in many many many different fields. At that point you just need to pick one, or stumble into one, and proceed to master it- which, when paired with a form one enjoys, snowballs one's sense of satisfaction and occupational pride (not to mention raking in the cash at constantly rising rates while you're at it).

    My verb preference has always been designing systems within arbitrary rule sets (formal systems), and I struggled for a long time under the assumption that these systems had to be more cerebral in nature- novels, computer programming, business management efficiency- but while I was pursuing separate goals of trying new and challenging things just for the sake of seeing if I could do them, I stumbled into fields I never dreamed would appeal to me, and fit into them like a glove. Seriously, don't worry about having a career you enjoy in your 20s and just enjoy it- do what you want, and with enough experimentation and luck you'll stumble into it. 20s are all about trying things to fail at them. It's kind of universal.
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  9. #29
    Shadow Sovereign Sung Jin-Woo's Avatar
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    I have interest in very little, so I just chose higher paying jobs at where ever they came from. I eventually crawled up to double min wage in 5 years just capitalizing on opportunities. Even if I hated the work, it opened up opportunitues for me. Im now 28 with a partner who makes slightly more than me. We rent a house and own a nice car. All without accomplishments or degrees. We make a yearly income of about 40-50k. Not a lot, but not poor either.
    “No matter how much we ask after the truth, self-awareness is often unpleasant. We do not feel kindly toward the Truthsayer.”
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  10. #30
    Junior Member punkermit's Avatar
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    ISTP women are in high demand because they are rare. See if you can learn physical therapy or anything that require good S. Another great unconventional job that would be very suitable for ISTP is expedition related jobs. Be a travel guide, especially extreme travel. Many women clients will appreciate you.

    Also, why can't your husband work? Unless he has a disability I find that inexcusable.

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