User Tag List

First 1234 Last

Results 11 to 20 of 31

  1. #11
    Per Ardua Metamorphosis's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    3,475

    Default

    There's a misconception that everyone has some hidden passion that will be their lifelong calling and they just have to wait for it to appear. I imagine that this is compounded by all of the people faking passion on social media. If you want to discover passion for something, you need to actually try a lot of things. There isn't some passion waiting around the corner that's going to fall into your lap. You need to experiment and see what you like. Reading about something on the internet or watching t.v. shows about something isn't going to do anything except give you this vicarious feeling that you're actually doing something. On top of that, if you find something that you're passionate about, that doesn't mean that you're just going to be some kind of prodigy at it and everything is going to fall into place and life is going to make sense. It's still going to require a lot of work. The difference is that if you're passionate about something you are willing to push through and grind to make it happen.

    At the end of the day, I agree with all of the previous advice about work. You need to do whatever is going to set you up in life and look for your passion along the way. A lot of people are drawn to things like house flipping and being an entrepreneur because it looks easier on the outside than it is and we're all exposed to the successes without seeing the failures. Everyone wants to just chase their passion all day and not have to slave away doing stuff that they don't want to do, but sadly that's not life unless you are extremely lucky.
    "You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit."

    Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions, and can never pretend to any other office
    than to serve and obey them. - David Hume
    Likes /DG/, awbro, SurrealisticSlumbers liked this post

  2. #12
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 sp/so
    Posts
    672

    Default

    Hang in there. You're still young. And I agree that being a parent in and of itself if an accomplishment. I don't think I could handle it at all. Kids and babies are cute and all and I like them, but I've always been fairly certain I'm more quirky, eccentric Aunt material than mother material.

    I would definitely recommend looking into therapy. I know it can be hard to trust someone you just met. But it's really worth it.

    Plus if you were to go to a community college, there would be free access to counseling. However, this costs money and even though it's chraper would still require you to get loans and have debt.

    Learning a trade is also a good path.

    I would personally do what you can to put yourself and your family on steadier footing now. In that time, explore things you find you are passionate about. It'll take patience and effort, which is why it's also important to have someone like a counselor with whom you can address the issues related to it.

    But don't work yourself too hard. Self-care is important.

    It'll work out eventually.

  3. #13
    Lord Grumpus Tellenbach's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    MBTI
    ISTJ
    Enneagram
    6w5
    Posts
    4,970

    Default

    Be careful of slipping into depression. Feelings of hopelessness, not making a difference, boredom, and lack of control is one of the causes of depression.

    From "Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression and the Unexpected Solutions":

    As a result of this research, and the science it opened up, "the notion of what constitutes stress at work has undergone a revolution," Michael explains. The worst stress for people isn't having to bear a lot of responsibility. It is, he told me, having to endure "work (that) is monotonous, boring, soul-destroying; (where) they die a little when they come to work each day, because their work touches no part of them that is them." Joe, then, in his paint shop, by this real standard, had one of the most stressful jobs there is. "Disempowerment," Michael told me, "is at the heart of poor health" - physical, mental, and emotional.
    Religious fanatics have killed roughly 500 million people in the past thousand years; leftists have killed around 100 million. Libertarians have killed less than 10 in the entire span of human history.

  4. #14
    Senior Member awbro's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    MBTI
    ESFJ
    Posts
    354

    Default

    Hmm, I don't know much about these, but maybe you could try an apprenticeship program? You make money while you learn. I don't know how much money, but money. My sister currently works the most out of the two of them, her husband and her, because of his health issues. If your husband is willing to stay and home and watch your kid, you could work a lot of hours and bring home the dough. But you have to be fine with being the breadwinner. I don't know what careers pay a lot out of the gate without a degree or experience, but if you have experience, you should start with what you can get. If not, show that you want it. I haven't actually done this myself but it's advice I should take. Be enthusiastic and take on every challenge you can. That's how I see people getting promoted, and how I'm not.

    Let us know what you decide to do.

  5. #15
    Face tattoo sold separately A-a-ron Carter's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    MBTI
    XNTP
    Enneagram
    954 so/sp
    Posts
    4,936

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by GoggleGirl17 View Post
    I don't have my own place, I make barely enough to survive, my husband can't work, and on top of that we have a 13-month-old together. Honestly I feel like dying every day. I feel unfulfilled, regretful, stagnant, overwhelmed... I never went to college because there was nothing I felt called to do, and I didn't want to waste my time, energy, and money on something I was not passionate about. I thought that eventually I would have some idea about what I want, but I've only found myself ironically wasting my life anyway. When I try to reevaluate my goals, I only feel discouraged. I've gotten excited about teaching in Japan, but you need a 4-year-degree, and I know deep down I'd only be doing it for the chance to travel, not because I want to teach. I've also thought about flipping houses, or designing a business and becoming an entrepreneur, but you need a lot of money, or another passion to back it up. Nothing I enjoy is marketable or affordable, so I feel my only solution is to become a plumber and work for money rather than enjoyment so that I have the money to do what I love, but even with that money, I still don't know if I will feel a reason to live. I'm afraid I'll still feel I have sacrificed the majority of myself to something I don't value.
    Does anyone have some serious advice to offer?


    How do you feel about potentially moving to Philly and starting a salsa company??

    More seriously, don't stress. You're young. You've got your entire life ahead of you and you have no idea what's in store or what's coming ahead. Don't try to solve all the world's problems at one time -- Focus on making small, incremental steps forward that will put you in the right position to capitalize for when luck and opportunity presents itself.

    All of that probably sounds non-specific and vague -- I'm an author of Self-Help books.
    The order of preference for your cognitive functions appears to be
    Ne > Ti > Te = Ni > Fi > Fe = Se > Si

  6. #16
    Moderator Yuurei's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Enneagram
    8w7
    Socionics
    Duno None
    Posts
    4,190

    Default

    I'm 35. Can't work, can't own a house or drive. My husband is in too much of a constant state of existential crisis to GET a job. It's been six months since he lost his job and he has spent less than a week total working on his resume.

    And I don't give a shit because I do not allow societies ideals of success to define my own.

    I survived a terminal disease I wasn't supposed to. I survived three cases of sepsis-while on dialysis as well-hell I survived dying. Despite my abusive relationship with, well, name em, growing up I am the strongest and most stable person in my family., hell out of anyone know. I have obtained things which others may consider "basic human rights." but were considered an impossibility for me and I did it not only with no help but with everyone trying to stop me.

    Our Capitalistic first world countrie's concept of "worth" and "Success" is royally fucked. Someone with every opportunity is just handed everything because they deserves it in that they already had it while working your ass off against overwhelming odds to obtain and be happy with slightly less -a makes you a loser.

    To hell with that, define success for yourself. I'm sure you will find at least a few things if you do.
    " Do something, even if it's wrong."

    " I don't wanna have to but I will, if that's what I'm supposed to do
    We don't wanna set up for the kill, but that's what I'm 'bout to do."
    Likes SurrealisticSlumbers liked this post

  7. #17
    Junior Member GoggleGirl17's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    MBTI
    ISFP
    Enneagram
    4w3 sp/sx
    Socionics
    ILI
    Posts
    4

    Default

    I just wanted to throw in my heartfelt thanks to everyone so much for their compassion and all the different perspectives I've received that I can begin to piece together for myself. You've all made me feel more grounded and optimistic about my options. Everyone has given me something to think about in their own way, and it is so uplifting in itself to see this many strangers reach out to support another person in distress
    Likes Frosty, Luminous liked this post

  8. #18
    clever fool Typh0n's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    3,543

    Default

    I disagree with those who say that you shouldn't seek your passion. Of course you should.

    What terrible advice to say "there is maybe nothing out there for you, just settle on bringing home money for it's own sake". Especially given how you listed a few things which you are interested in and which frankly can be turned into a career.

    Now, maybe you haven't discovered what that passion is, at least in terms of tying to together dreams with an economic reality. If what you like is redoing the look of rooms in a creative manner, do interior design. That seems like a good option if it is your passion.

    Also, I personally found this inspiring:



    I like how he says you shouldn't just go to work for the sake of going to work, that it's important to find something you are passionate about.

    Quote Originally Posted by Yuu View Post
    define success for yourself. I'm sure you will find at least a few things if you do.
    Pretty much. Discovering what makes you happy, only you can know that, not society.

    Self-discovery can take time though. There is nothing wrong with experimenting with different types of work to see what you like doing. The jobs I've had, I tried to first ask myself if I liked the work or not, and if yes, why. And once I understand what it is about the work I that like, I can reorient my future job search and potential training to find something that shares the same element. For example, if you work in a grocery store and your favorite part of the job is being in contact with the customers, then maybe sales is what you should think about once you're no longer working there.

    Basically, know what your likes and dislikes are so you can find work that suits you if you don't have just one dream job. While not everyone has a specific dream, anyone can find something they love, I think.

    Good luck.
    Likes GoggleGirl17 liked this post

  9. #19
    clever fool Typh0n's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    3,543

    Default

    More advice to you. @GoggleGirl17

    You may or may not find it useful, but you risk nothing trying. I suspect you will find this useful though.

    Make a list of your goals. Make a list of what you want to obtain intellectually, that is interms of your career and education goals. Make the same list for your love life and your social networking. I suggest you use of something like the S.M.A.R.T. program to make your goals more concrete and achievable.
    Likes GoggleGirl17 liked this post

  10. #20
    Remember, Humanity. A Radiant Dawn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Enneagram
    379 sp/sx
    Posts
    2,545

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by GoggleGirl17 View Post
    I don't have my own place, I make barely enough to survive, my husband can't work, and on top of that we have a 13-month-old together. Honestly I feel like dying every day. I feel unfulfilled, regretful, stagnant, overwhelmed... I never went to college because there was nothing I felt called to do, and I didn't want to waste my time, energy, and money on something I was not passionate about. I thought that eventually I would have some idea about what I want, but I've only found myself ironically wasting my life anyway. When I try to reevaluate my goals, I only feel discouraged. I've gotten excited about teaching in Japan, but you need a 4-year-degree, and I know deep down I'd only be doing it for the chance to travel, not because I want to teach. I've also thought about flipping houses, or designing a business and becoming an entrepreneur, but you need a lot of money, or another passion to back it up. Nothing I enjoy is marketable or affordable, so I feel my only solution is to become a plumber and work for money rather than enjoyment so that I have the money to do what I love, but even with that money, I still don't know if I will feel a reason to live. I'm afraid I'll still feel I have sacrificed the majority of myself to something I don't value.
    Does anyone have some serious advice to offer?
    Life is scary, we want to know the future. That's why people go to psyhics and consult arcana cards for some sort of comfort. We want to know, to be in control of our fates. At the very least you're making a start, you recognize a situation in the present that you can use to work towards your future. A future you make, for both you and your child. People make the world crazy and beautiful at the same time. I'm not you, so I don't know what is going on in your mind, but at the very least I wish you well. You and your child both deserve happiness, not because of any other reason than you being you. I may just be a stranger on the internet, but I wish you well and I'll believe in you, even if you sometimes feel as if you don't.

    Stay awesome, stay you.
    Always forward, never back!

    "I always love talking to people and hearing their story. People always have a good life story to tell ya know?"

    Today is the beginning, and tomorrow is the beginning of everything else.

    March on, life's too grand to let things get you down for long. It's a beautiful place and we're so blessed to be here.

    I am a person of fortune and I must seek my fortune.


    My blog
    Likes GoggleGirl17 liked this post

Similar Threads

  1. [Si] Coward with no money, and low self esteem...seeking attractive and intelligent woman.
    By EnflamedHeartofSand in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 32
    Last Post: 03-07-2013, 03:53 PM
  2. [ENFJ] How possible is it to confuse an ESFP with an ENFJ and vice versa?
    By Lightyear in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 24
    Last Post: 09-17-2009, 09:49 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO