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ENFP and ENTP working together

EcK

The Memes Justify the End
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Hi,
I was wondering if any of you had experience of an ENFP and ENTP working together.
I'm working with an ENFP at the moment and am experiencing problems with communication.

For example:
- asks for too much information while I'm the one managing the project. I can't manage a project and make it into a short novel at the same time. I got work to do.
- No clearly defined line as to what my responsibility is and what is his - which creates problems during conflict as all the 'bad' seems to suddenly be on me even if I'm not the decision maker on that point (all the 'bad' gets somehow on me and the talk is mostly about how he feels. I love the guy but in work context it irks me and makes me want to scream "SH*T THE F*CK *P)
- very critical of me when stressed about a project we are working on
- expects me to be there to 'make up' for all and any of his flaws (if he's late I have to be 101% on time all the time, etc.)
 

Luke O

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I'm near a team with an ENTP manager who manages an ENFP. I don't see any problems between them. Said ENFP is quite self-motivated though (and a bit of a narcissist), every week I get to overhear which Tony Robbins video he's been watching...

Maybe self-motivation and confidence is key here, the confidence to work independently on a task, and taking pride and responsibility for their work. Praise for good work (even though it doesn't come naturally to thinkers like us) can go a long way.
 

EcK

The Memes Justify the End
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I'm near a team with an ENTP manager who manages an ENFP. I don't see any problems between them. Said ENFP is quite self-motivated though (and a bit of a narcissist), every week I get to overhear which Tony Robbins video he's been watching...

Maybe self-motivation and confidence is key here, the confidence to work independently on a task, and taking pride and responsibility for their work. Praise for good work (even though it doesn't come naturally to thinkers like us) can go a long way.

I'm currently working on projects for an ENFP. I'm just frustrated by how I essentially get critiqued for everything that 'goes wrong' (75% of that in my opinion is not anything that went wrong at all) when he doesn't apply the same rules to himself. Ok that's not relevant I guess.

I think the main problem I have is communicating with Fi. Because to me it sounds "i feel a and b and c" and frankly I don't care how someone feels about things in a work context. whether it's my employer or client. I realize that's an issue and I'm easy to talk to for 'positive talks' however I have a hard time in Fi talks where I feel like it's all a 'personal talk about work' which has no place in a work context and gets my 'fe guilt trip' started. Which drives me nuts because i'll start feeling like shit when I have to be motivated on the project.

I think NTJs deal with that better. IE: in my experience they 'll just state A) is ur problem because C and D and don't seem to harbor any doubts what so ever. Whether I see critique when I'm working hard as a personal attack on my ability. Because all i hear in these context is ' you are incompetent' which I am not and "I am perfect" which he is not. And it drives me nuts.

I'm someone who learns new skills on the fly as projects require. Including programming and design. I don't know many people in my industry willing to do that without an hourly compentation just because they want to make sure the project is successful.

so yeah. I guess I'm just pissed off.
So i'd say my main problem is that the Fi talks just drive me into Fe guilt trip and prevent me from being 'rational' on the project and therefore impact my productivity. Which in turn gets me more 'Fi talks' and makes me murderous.
 

Luke O

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I'm currently working on projects for an ENFP. I'm just frustrated by how I essentially get critiqued for everything that 'goes wrong' (75% of that in my opinion is not anything that went wrong at all) when he doesn't apply the same rules to himself. Ok that's not relevant I guess.

I think the main problem I have is communicating with Fi. Because to me it sounds "i feel a and b and c" and frankly I don't care how someone feels about things in a work context. whether it's my employer or client. I realize that's an issue and I'm easy to talk to for 'positive talks' however I have a hard time in Fi talks where I feel like it's all a 'personal talk about work' which has no place in a work context and gets my 'fe guilt trip' started. Which drives me nuts because i'll start feeling like shit when I have to be motivated on the project.

I think NTJs deal with that better. IE: in my experience they 'll just state A) is ur problem because C and D and don't seem to harbor any doubts what so ever. Whether I see critique when I'm working hard as a personal attack on my ability. Because all i hear in these context is ' you are incompetent' which I am not and "I am perfect" which he is not. And it drives me nuts.

I'm someone who learns new skills on the fly as projects require. Including programming and design. I don't know many people in my industry willing to do that without an hourly compentation just because they want to make sure the project is successful.

so yeah. I guess I'm just pissed off.
So i'd say my main problem is that the Fi talks just drive me into Fe guilt trip and prevent me from being 'rational' on the project and therefore impact my productivity. Which in turn gets me more 'Fi talks' and makes me murderous.

How can these talks go from Fi-orientated (Fi just makes me want to run sometimes) to Ne? How do you two collaborate on this project?

I don't want to reduce this to mere cognitive functions, I'm just thinking of what strengths you share.
 

five sounds

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I have a hard time not talking in terms of "I feel..." sometimes, so I can relate to that. Try to parse out the message from the delivery and I bet you'll find the things he's telling you in these terms are actually ideas and thoughts that are being framed as feelings. Personally, I think I might do this because it's an expression of 'this is just my initial opinion/open to others/open to hearing alternatives'. It's a less concrete way to propose something which you may relate to as an Ne-Dom.

As for blaming you for his shortcomings, that sounds like an enfp at his worst under stress. I have those gut reactions when I feel overwhelmed but 99% of the time keep them in my head and rationalize my way out of that thought pattern before it has time to really effect me. I would advise gently explaining what you're doing and that you're willing to help but have plenty of your own work to do.
 

EcK

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I have a hard time not talking in terms of "I feel..." sometimes, so I can relate to that. Try to parse out the message from the delivery and I bet you'll find the things he's telling you in these terms are actually ideas and thoughts that are being framed as feelings. Personally, I think I might do this because it's an expression of 'this is just my initial opinion/open to others/open to hearing alternatives'. It's a less concrete way to propose something which you may relate to as an Ne-Dom.

As for blaming you for his shortcomings, that sounds like an enfp at his worst under stress. I have those gut reactions when I feel overwhelmed but 99% of the time keep them in my head and rationalize my way out of that thought pattern before it has time to really effect me. I would advise gently explaining what you're doing and that you're willing to help but have plenty of your own work to do.
Thanks for the advice.
Yes he's really stressed in personal and work life. Just I'm afraid I'm really running out of patience as well. Given that he essentially blames me for situations he messed up and i fixed. (blaming me when he thinks something is not perfect in his view though I brought the project back to life without any help, seems unfair to me)
I m open to suggestions and help but I do tend to have a 'deal with your personal shit outside of work please and involve ur girlfriend in it, not me' mentality at work. It's not 100% of course just as an NT I do tend to have less patience for emotional than rational critique of my work.

Would you have any suggestion on how to try and solve the situation without going into a my view vs your view perspective ?
My work is to take over some of his projects. Which means he'll always be involved. However It's very hard for me to work on something when he won't give me full control or full credit for it and as time passes I have less and less desire to offer up information about the projects.

To be fair I have my own flaws. I'm not often timely for example, I'm also very stubborn when people give me instructions which to me 'dont make sense' I tend to just to it my own way. But he shares these flaws. Yet he will call me to critique me for half an hour when for example he was 6 months late on project and I get not end of sh*t for being 3 days late with ALOT of attenuating circumstances (He was supposed to continue the project I had started while I was on a long-before-planned break and didn't as much as touch it or answer phonecalls from the developer who ended up contacting me so i took over the project again)

he just wont see it at all if i explain

Alot of his critique is about 'how a and b' will make him look to the client. He's essentially asking for perfection. Which he doesn't deliver himself as alot of his projects are very flawed.

He also has 20 years experience in the sector and I have 4. He expects me to do better than him essentially and with very little to no support from his side (he doesn't see it that way and thinks I must 'align' with him level, when the reality is his level is very variable. He wants my work to always be "his best work" in his eyes. Yet appart from the general unfairness of it I think it's obvious that two people will do things differently and take different decisions on a project. Yet he expects me to make the same choices he would and deems alternatives as 'wrong', then asks me to make changes at the end of the project which take me tens of hours and add to the design/development budget. At the end he blames me for budget overflow on these changes)
 

EcK

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How can these talks go from Fi-orientated (Fi just makes me want to run sometimes) to Ne? How do you two collaborate on this project?

I don't want to reduce this to mere cognitive functions, I'm just thinking of what strengths you share.

Well he's very' Ne dom in his communication style. meaning that people are expected to make huge intuitive leaps of Ne-dom + 20 years accumulated experience.
I can manage just fine but I do like to get information / fuel for thought. Projects go better when im in direct contact with the client. Which he doesn't always let me do as they are 'his clients'.
I then must write emails to him that he's going to send to the client. Which strikes me as very frustrating (he doesnt send all messages and then I really wonder why the hell I bother to spend half an hour writing an email with exactly 'his specifications, style of communication etc.' It seems silly to me. Either im the client contact and voila, or he is and I'm not his secretary.
I'd be happy to do that if he didn't expect me to 'correct emails' myself. By correct I mean 'add something he would have written if it was him' . That to me is completly ridiculous. He can just edit it himself and I shouldn't have to write his emails in the first place if I'm not the client contact.

He's the 'project owner' and i'm the project manager. But he generally doesn't stick to his consultative role and barges in with requests out of the blue. I have yet to find a way of convincing him of something he doesn't feel/believe.

For example I get out of a conversation with a team of designers, they are very happy with my work and keep repeating it. Then he calls and spends 20 minutes threatening to take away the project and asking me to make a document which I told him 3 times was not needed at this point in the project also I've already done an equivalent he just wants me to use 'his format' for a project he wont even be managing because he's convnced that his method is the best.

I personally think his method, overall, is flawed (ie: lots of missing documentation, information, no clear planning to be shared with other people, no methods to control budget on a project and it's very hard to get that information from him when managing a project) it's his experience and people skills that get him through the day and make him a success.
My point is that if he takes away the people skills, the creativity and the experience his method on its own would not work. Yet he is convinced his success is due to his method when its due to everything BUT his method which cannot really be 'scaled up' as its all contingent on his own opinions rather than on things other people can emulate.

A good example of that is the way in which he acquires clients: through recommendations only. I would not be capable of doing that, I just don't have the sheer charisma he has. I get by in my life with my talent for quickly learning things and solving problems. Yet he essentially wants me to display 'his talents'. That doesn't seem reasonable to me.
 

Starry

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From everything you describe [MENTION=5643]EcK[/MENTION] ... I honestly think it's the sexual tension that exists between the two of you that's the real culprit in all of this... and maybe if you were to just open-up and allow yourself to be vulnerable to him...




I worked side by side...day in and day out with an ENTP for 4 years...and it remains as my favorite co-worker experience of all of them - it was so easy. And we got shit done...all while laughing our asses off the entire way through.

I want to say bringing some humor into the situation might set things to right a hell of a lot quicker than a deep discussion with Luke O on the nature of Fi.
 

Luke O

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From everything you describe [MENTION=5643]EcK[/MENTION] ... I honestly think it's the sexual tension that exists between the two of you that's the real culprit in all of this... and maybe if you were to just open-up and allow yourself to be vulnerable to him...




I worked side by side...day in and day out with an ENTP for 4 years...and it remains as my favorite co-worker experience of all of them - it was so easy. And we got shit done...all while laughing our asses off the entire way through.

I want to say bringing some humor into the situation might set things to right a hell of a lot quicker than a deep discussion with Luke O on the nature of Fi.

I thought dwelling on Fi would be a problem. Having seen ENFP-ENTP dynamics in my own workplace though, two-way sharing of ideas and having a laugh/banter is good. Stuff not work related but not Fi related either (news, sport etc)?
 

Starry

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I thought dwelling on Fi would be a problem. Having seen ENFP-ENTP dynamics in my own workplace though, two-way sharing of ideas and having a laugh/banter is good. Stuff not work related but not Fi related either (news, sport etc)?


You didn't say all that much in your post and yet I understood exactly what you were attempting to get at and agreed wholeheartedly. Sometimes we can't find all the right words to say but the courageous will still stand to (try and) point out the way. I truly believe that's what you did.



((And yes... Fi is terrifying to inferior Fe. :evilgenius: ))
 

Qlip

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I don't understand, which subjects aren't related to Fi? This does not process.

JK, I get along well with ENTPs and INTPs when discussing neato crazy and interesting ideas, and how things work, connect on the Ne. I have nerd cred, so I can always default to systems, techie stuff and electronic hobby stuff, which many ENTPs I've run into have some interest in. Maybe he does as well?
 

EcK

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[MENTION=10714]Qlip[/MENTION] [MENTION=18819]five sounds[/MENTION] [MENTION=10082]Starry[/MENTION] (i dont know if the @ works if there's a space? mod people? help? is it like five_sounds? five+sounds)
Do mods have an @mod or @mods tag? Because that'd be useful and stuff. Anyway i digress.

Thanks for all the comments guys. Much appreciated.
Just. Part of me, when I get negative feedback just wants to be like "yay I can become better at stuff" but at the same time It so happened that one of the clients is where a common acquaintance works. So I asked for her feedback on my work and it was pretty much like "dude you work so hard! WTF is wrong with *ENFP*, he was supposed to deliver the project 6 months ago you came in and fixed everything and he gives you shit on a daily basis for that ????! Of course the client isn't going to pay right away after finishing the project when *ENFP* didn't even return his calls for 6 months?! What the hell did he imagine?! )

As to ENFPs yeah I like them, I mean there's a 'personal fit' factor from individual to individual but overall when it comes to smart enfps we get along just fine. and that particular ENFP is smart. I was even in romantic relationships with enfps (a female enfp [MENTION=10082]Starry[/MENTION], you devil) so it's not like I have some fundamental issue with them. Or maybe it's some kind of 'if you can't kill them, fuck them' I dont know. :laugh:

Nah you guys are cool. Just I think this ENFP is very stressed. I would appreciate feedback from enfps or people who've seen enfps or/and enneagram 7 stressed (i think he's a 7 but I give it a 50% chance only. He self tested enfp and i fully agree with this assesment)
 

Mane

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For starters: Keep him away from here. I noticed my interaction with ENFPs who aren't typology aware (At least not beyond the occasional test) is a lot better then ENFPs who are (And know about the evil cold Ti coming to gut their hearts open.. Or something to that effect). Second... It might be faster to just solve his personal problems for him and get back to work.


You'll want this.
 

andresimon

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I'm currently working on projects for an ENFP. I'm just frustrated by how I essentially get critiqued for everything that 'goes wrong' (75% of that in my opinion is not anything that went wrong at all) when he doesn't apply the same rules to himself. Ok that's not relevant I guess.

I think the main problem I have is communicating with Fi. Because to me it sounds "i feel a and b and c" and frankly I don't care how someone feels about things in a work context. whether it's my employer or client. I realize that's an issue and I'm easy to talk to for 'positive talks' however I have a hard time in Fi talks where I feel like it's all a 'personal talk about work' which has no place in a work context and gets my 'fe guilt trip' started. Which drives me nuts because i'll start feeling like shit when I have to be motivated on the project.

I think NTJs deal with that better. IE: in my experience they 'll just state A) is ur problem because C and D and don't seem to harbor any doubts what so ever. Whether I see critique when I'm working hard as a personal attack on my ability. Because all i hear in these context is ' you are incompetent' which I am not and "I am perfect" which he is not. And it drives me nuts.

I'm someone who learns new skills on the fly as projects require. Including programming and design. I don't know many people in my industry willing to do that without an hourly compentation just because they want to make sure the project is successful.

so yeah. I guess I'm just pissed off.
So i'd say my main problem is that the Fi talks just drive me into Fe guilt trip and prevent me from being 'rational' on the project and therefore impact my productivity. Which in turn gets me more 'Fi talks' and makes me murderous.

As an ENFP I'll give you some help. When working with ENFP's you will find that ENFP's vary widely depending on their stage of development as well as their environment. So it will be hard for me to give you specifics but it sounds like you are dealing with someone who isn't as developed as some of the world class ENFP's. Their are many ENFP's that even I have a hard time getting along with although their behavior brings a smile to my face because I can understand where they are coming from. While most ISTJ, ENTJ's and ESTJ for example understand each other very well, I find that NF functions don't.

Here is some of my advice.

#1 Motivations are the most important thing for us. We focus way more on what we intended then what the person actually understood.
#2 Authenticity comes hand in hand with motivations. Be real and stop sugar coating. If you are holding back DON'T.
#3 The stress situations you mentioned are generally two things.
a. Anything that goes wrong is a breakup of our "perfect" reality. The reason we are so easy going most of the time is because we just go with the flow and rarely plan. When something goes wrong it shatters our sense of calmness.
b. AND (our calmness won't shatter if we are dealing with someone who is highly resourceful) we are anticipating a negative conversation. More often then not what I've found is that if an ENFP gets negative its because intuitively they have picked up on a negative pattern and they are anticipating it.

#4 If you are dealing with a well developed ENFP. They will expect accountability for mistakes and they will own up to their own mistakes as well. If this is not the case then you don't have an ENFP who is very self aware.

#5 Don't underestimate our Fi. Personally I think Fi is a far more accurate predictor of reality then lets say Ti or Te. I say this because we live in a human world and usually logic isn't the driving force, motivations, intentions, emotions are. .... Something most Te and Ti people fail to understand. Every single NT and ST is motivated by their cognitive order, their belief systems, and their goals -- They then rationalize and argue within those boundaries. If you think YOU are being logical and he is being emotional you are wrong. You are misunderstanding the functions completely a COMMON mistake for T functions. You focus on the use of things, we Fi types (specially) focus on the meaning of things. How is that not rational? To get to the core of it? Also emotions such as fear, anger, distaste, pessimism, control, power, security are all emotions similar to giddiness, excitement, sensitivity, and optimism. Anyone who thinks they are NOT being influenced HEAVILY by MANY emotions is the one being illogical and misjudging the situation.

It's funny how certain emotions are viewed as rational and others are viewed as irrational lol... Then people find all kinds of reasons to rationalize their emotions as "rational" because that's how the world "is".

Ok back on topic. Sorry for the rant.

It sounds like you guys share similar weaknesses, this probably isn't a good thing to begin with BUT you can HACK the process to make it easier. Use a project management process like SCRUM. Brain dump all of your ideas, prioritize, gain a shared vision on everything, then execute. That way you are working on the things that matter most and you can focus on 1 task at a time. If you are truly resourceful you will find a way to make it work. Change your approach until ...

More insights into the ENFP mind. Right and wrong (ethics) are very important to us. NEVER play games and NEVER lose our trust. If we start doubting your intentions trust me the situation is going to get really bad. Be clear about WHY you want something done a certain way. If you don't want to do it all day long, fair enough. Set clear boundaries. Do a morning huddle and an evening recap session as well as weekly recaps and meetings as well.

More than anything ENFP's are motivated by possibilities, more specifically PEOPLE possibilities. If you can prove to the ENFP that you are the resourceful baller you say you are. (Learning code etc...) Then be resourceful in this situation and I pretty much guarantee the ENFP will catch to the knew shift and join you.

I'll add a few more things. ENFP's are stars when performing with a limited amount of variables. When we have too many variables we often expand possibilities into infinity. That's why a framework for reigning in the chaos is necessary. ENFP's are naturally great sales people although I think ENTP's are also great salespeople. For the most part I guess both ENTP's and ENFP's are highly capable at almost anything they set their mind to. The best advice I have is stop thinking the way you think is rational and they way the ENFP thinks is not. Instead harness the energy and direct it towards something productive, I think that's the only truly "rational" thing you can do.

That's how I FEEL :)
 

Starry

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[MENTION=10714]Qlip[/MENTION] [MENTION=18819]five sounds[/MENTION] [MENTION=10082]Starry[/MENTION] (i dont know if the @ works if there's a space? mod people? help? is it like five_sounds? five+sounds)
Do mods have an @mod or @mods tag? Because that'd be useful and stuff. Anyway i digress.

Thanks for all the comments guys. Much appreciated.
Just. Part of me, when I get negative feedback just wants to be like "yay I can become better at stuff" but at the same time It so happened that one of the clients is where a common acquaintance works. So I asked for her feedback on my work and it was pretty much like "dude you work so hard! WTF is wrong with *ENFP*, he was supposed to deliver the project 6 months ago you came in and fixed everything and he gives you shit on a daily basis for that ????! Of course the client isn't going to pay right away after finishing the project when *ENFP* didn't even return his calls for 6 months?! What the hell did he imagine?! )

As to ENFPs yeah I like them, I mean there's a 'personal fit' factor from individual to individual but overall when it comes to smart enfps we get along just fine. and that particular ENFP is smart. I was even in romantic relationships with enfps (a female enfp [MENTION=10082]Starry[/MENTION], you devil) so it's not like I have some fundamental issue with them. Or maybe it's some kind of 'if you can't kill them, fuck them' I dont know. :laugh:

Nah you guys are cool. Just I think this ENFP is very stressed. I would appreciate feedback from enfps or people who've seen enfps or/and enneagram 7 stressed (i think he's a 7 but I give it a 50% chance only. He self tested enfp and i fully agree with this assesment)



You're such a good person Eck.

I'm bothered by the fact that he is blaming his fuck-ups on you <-Like there's something in that - that I'm trying to find a way to describe. Now, some may doubt our abilities but I am of the belief that the ENFP can manipulate just as effectively as all the rest of the EPs...okay? :wink: Technically, I don't think this is what he is doing here in that I strongly suspect he has actually convinced himself that these faults...whatever they may be...are truly on you. And this is the mind-fuck of the Feeler in a nutshell for you...this thing that I'm trying to describe... that when a Feeler is stressed and/or unhealthy...and feels they are letting down someone they care about or merely feel an obligation to...they will unknowingly turn that shit around on you. I am not even remotely explaining this well at all...but I very much believe that is what is occurring. He resents you for having let you down...it's all very painful for our tender souls Eck can't you see?

It's so fucked-up...but if there's any way you could compliment his shit-work...lie like an ENTP my friend...and make him feel valuable while talking about golf and laughing <-this is all so sick but will most likely work if you want to do it the fast way.
 

EcK

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You're such a good person Eck.
That's suspicious.
Why are you complimenting me. What's your end game. *waterboards starry*.

On an unrelated topic I just came up with this totally innocent way of clarifying MBTI for laymen.
It goes that way. First your judging function preference (F/T) then whether your the order of your functions EI if you are say se/ne dominant introvert Ti or Fi then your primary function n/s then a D. because i said so.

So let's see how it works with some examples:
ISFJ
Feisd

ENFP
Fiend

It's all very scientific and objective of course :coffee:

I'm bothered by the fact that he is blaming his fuck-ups on you <-Like there's something in that - that I'm trying to find a way to describe. Now, some may doubt our abilities but I am of the belief that the ENFP can manipulate just as effectively as all the rest of the EPs...okay? :wink: Technically, I don't think this is what he is doing here in that I strongly suspect he has actually convinced himself that these faults...whatever they may be...are truly on you. And this is the mind-fuck of the Feeler in a nutshell for you...this thing that I'm trying to describe... that when a Feeler is stressed and/or unhealthy...and feels they are letting down someone they care about or merely feel an obligation to...they will unknowingly turn that shit around on you. I am not even remotely explaining this well at all...but I very much believe that is what is occurring. He resents you for having let you down...it's all very painful for our tender souls Eck can't you see?

It's so fucked-up...but if there's any way you could compliment his shit-work...lie like an ENTP my friend...and make him feel valuable while talking about golf and laughing <-this is all so sick but will most likely work if you want to do it the fast way.

Well yeah. he is. and i assumed that's what he was doing but a) im not an enfp so ultimately you guys would know better. b) he's not BAD at his job at all, he has flaws like anyone else. I dont have any issue with that. I have issues with the whole "ur faults are to be expanded to the 10000th degree and while we're at it lets transfer all responsibilities of my fuckups on you then moralize about how u should have known everything about the project when I didn't even brief you properly"

It's just. you know. not cool. and doesn't really motivate me.

On a side note about enfps I 've known. Well yeah you guys are usually pros at the innocent game stuff. I dont know how to describe it. like this girl would get like, all guys after her and was a big flirt but it's all like she was just running in a field of butterflies and was just having fun with puppies and suddenly all these guys think she's up for sex.
Right. :laugh:
I've been guilty of this kind of mischief more than once frankly.

Well I mean I got the girl so I'm not sour or anything, but as an entp I found that quite funny/cute because I understand the type of games/fun seeking. ENTPs also do that sort of things, I mean just the other day I got bored and my finger slipped on the 'release mysterious substance into the sewer system of gotham city' button. I was just hanging out around that button and took the safety cap off to play with it. How I got there in the first place? Well I met this shady guy who sounded like fun and I kind of implied I might be a killer for hire then managed to place myself in that interesting 'restricted access' room. But I didnt actually intend to REALLY PRESS IT.
 

Starry

Active member
Joined
May 22, 2010
Messages
6,103
ENFP
Fiend


That is so weird because I too used my valuable free time to create an easy-to-understand clarifying system for people new to the MBTI...

ENTP
nerd



haha Eck. :wubbie:

(Im not quite at home yet and will return)
 

Starry

Active member
Joined
May 22, 2010
Messages
6,103
You're such a good person Eck.

That's suspicious.
Why are you complimenting me. What's your end game. *waterboards starry*.


It's been funny to me for a few hours now that you picked-up on how awkward that sentence was to leave like that when I posted...just hovering there unnaturally. It's weird because it's only the first sentence of the 14 page essay I had wanted to gush-out on how generous and gracious and kind-spirited you are but prevented myself because I know how you like to keep that hidden. But see, I actually make things weirder when I show restraint than when I don't right? This definitely makes a strong argument for why I should never have any restrictions ever.




Well yeah. he is. and i assumed that's what he was doing but a) im not an enfp so ultimately you guys would know better. b) he's not BAD at his job at all, he has flaws like anyone else. I dont have any issue with that. I have issues with the whole "ur faults are to be expanded to the 10000th degree and while we're at it lets transfer all responsibilities of my fuckups on you then moralize about how u should have known everything about the project when I didn't even brief you properly"

^^You're being very tolerant but something doesn't sit right with me merely because...while ENFPs can be absolutely hideous...we are generally not absolutely hideous in the way you describe. If he actually is an ENFP and not a mistyped ESFJ...the fact he has the attention span to recall all the ways in which you supposedly fucked-shit-up makes me uncomfortable and if it were me I would shut that down so fast. Do you want me to talk to him for you? If you think he is a good person that feels bad about his current work performance/letting you down and is putting that on you...give him lots of warm fuzzies. If you have any feeling he's a bad dude...or if he can do damage to your reputation...shut it down.



Well yeah you guys are usually pros at the innocent game stuff. I dont know how to describe it. like this girl would get like, all guys after her and was a big flirt but it's all like she was just running in a field of butterflies and was just having fun with puppies and suddenly all these guys think she's up for sex.
Right. :laugh:


Totally. Whenever I'm dancing in a field with wildlife...everyone knows I'm lookin for a servicing. (<-I could not type that without laughing.)
 

EcK

The Memes Justify the End
Joined
Nov 21, 2008
Messages
7,708
MBTI Type
ENTP
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738
It's been funny to me for a few hours now that you picked-up on how awkward that sentence was to leave like that when I posted...just hovering there unnaturally. It's weird because it's only the first sentence of the 14 page essay I had wanted to gush-out on how generous and gracious and kind-spirited you are but prevented myself because I know how you like to keep that hidden. But see, I actually make things weirder when I show restraint than when I don't right? This definitely makes a strong argument for why I should never have any restrictions ever.
I'd have complained about length. Then begrudgingly read it over the next 24h thinking I'm the one who started it anyway





^^You're being very tolerant but something doesn't sit right with me merely because...while ENFPs can be absolutely hideous...we are generally not absolutely hideous in the way you describe. If he actually is an ENFP and not a mistyped ESFJ...the fact he has the attention span to recall all the ways in which you supposedly fucked-shit-up makes me uncomfortable and if it were me I would shut that down so fast. Do you want me to talk to him for you? If you think he is a good person that feels bad about his current work performance/letting you down and is putting that on you...give him lots of warm fuzzies. If you have any feeling he's a bad dude...or if he can do damage our reputation...shut it down.
Yeah he's really an enfp. I'm sure of it. So is he.
I think he's just under a lot of stress. He works with an INTP who's apparently always like 2 weeks/2 months late on everything so he for example goes crazy if im 10 minutes late to anything. I do admit i shouldn't be late in the first place, but my point is
a) that I am sometimes late doesn't mean he gets to blame me for other things that are due to him not reviewing the work (ie: if he wanted something another way and only tells me at the end of the project). I'm neither stupid not incompetent, there are some things I wont do in a project due to budget restrictions. If he wants to have his view of the project in the project he can either do it himself or comment on the project early on, not when all is finished.
He's been having this obession with 'fixing all issues with his work' lately. The issue is that he can't expect other people to fix his own fuckups. He already stopped working with alot of people who according to him are 'messing up his work'. The thing is that alot of the time I think he's just essentially blaming people for not being a perfect fit for his work style. It's not a proof of incompetence that someone is not your "clone without any of your flaws".



Totally. Whenever I'm dancing in a field with wildlife...everyone knows I'm lookin for a servicing. (<-I could not type that without laughing.)
:laugh:
 

Riva

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 26, 2014
Messages
2,371
Enneagram
7w8
Off topic post -

Whatever you do dear entps dont fall in love with enfps.

Breaks hearts they will.

^ wise old man
 
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