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  1. #31
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EcK View Post

    One thing I can't quite let go off (I guess it's the 8 wing : P) is when he told me that a payment that was due me for work done month previously was a 'loan' because he hadn't been paid by the client yet (he actually had, the check was in the mail but he went on a 1 month vacation). He was 6 months late on this mission - I saved it and insured that he got paid. He then sort of transfered all the responsibility for everythijng that happened in the mission on me. (ie: yeah the client is going to be difficult when you've ignored him for 6 months after he's paid you a 15,000 usd DOWNPAYMENT).

    So I worked about 100+ extra hours on the project to calm them down - only to hear how 'he wouldn't have put as many hours' as if I was incompetent. Despite him ASKING ME to do that EXTRA WORK after my job was technically done.

    He also had the balls to blame me again and again for the project being delivered 5 days late. Let me explain: he had decided to take over the project again mid-project only to ignore the developer and not touch the project for 3 weeks. The developer was then unavailable and I had to cajol him into finishing the project on nights and evenings while he was working on something else. - I think only having 5 days of delays in these conditions is pretty damn good. it was also a VERY challenging project (not enough budget to do a full system, had to adapt one of the most messed up backend/cms system I've seen in my life and modernize it to plug it into the new site).
    He chose the developer on that mission: the guy was a prick who charges you to fix his own bugs. Then complained about it to me as if it was my decision.

    I then had to hear him tell me again and again how i 'didn't help him' on that project and he wasn't going to get much profit on it. Overall I got paid about as much as a supermarket casheer per hour on this project, which i see as me doing him a favor. he sees it the other way around. I see that as highly disrespectful/insulting.
    I wouldn't put up with that weaselly nonsense.
    Without music, life would be a mistake.
    ― Friedrich Nietzsche

  2. #32
    The Memes Justify the End EcK's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaguar View Post
    I wouldn't put up with that weaselly nonsense.
    Well I was a bit tired when writing that post so it may have ended up as some some of mental diarhea.
    I guess I Could have been more concise, less ranting.

    I was upset as he had recently asked me to 'discuss' a bill i sent him for my services and questioned my hourly rates (I don't charge all my hours, including the hours spent trying to find his requests amongst the uh, about 700 emails I get from him monthly).
    He keeps trying to have me on a 'minimum rate + bonus' system. The bonus being at his own discretion. I see that as insulting (ie: it's my amount of work that defines how much I get paid, not your good will). He keeps telling me that his 'normal system' despite the fact that every freelancer we work with (i'm a freelancer, I just work with him alot, that doesn't make him my employer) charging twice to 4 times more.
    I really TRIED to do it his way but I just can't sift through all that information all the time just to find one request he says he made (ie: he wont actually tell me what it is, he'll just say 'read your texts/emails'. Most of the time it's something that will be in the history of his exchanges with clients (2 emails down and gmail 'hides' that by default) or in an email with a title that has nothing to do with the request.

    I feel like asking for a simple structure of
    1-proper title for the email [name of client] NEW REQUEST - short description of request
    2- clearly stating that this is a request and putting bullet points of what the request is

    is not difficult. I get that on occasion when the client actually writes it that way and it saved me ALOT of time. ( i can just pretty much copy past it into my task management solution and start the work).

    His opinion is that he tried many solutions with me and that I failed to use them properly:
    - we've had a shared google doc with all tasks listed : i stopped using it after a month as he never left any comments on it so I saw it as a pointless waste of my time.

    - he doesn't want to use trello (task management system) - despite having told me he used it with another project manager and that all was going smoothly. When I suggested we use it he said he didn't have time for it.

    - he prefers to give tasks by phone and via separate emails etc. alot of those sound like suggestions to me. Which I disregard (ie: if he works with a designer, and he sends an email suggesting to do a design I don't think he'd expect that designer to send him a design by end of day)

    - he says he's very happy with 2 people. having worked with them and given them detailed docs with pictures about what to do (illustrated, annoted powerpoint) I ended up having to repeat the same things 3 to 5 times to get them all done. So I'm not sure what the difference is between that and him claiming I don't do what he asks me to do. (ie: not read all his emails in details - I don't because I don't want to spend an hour a day combing every single email and the email history of that email to check if there's something ressembling a request). If it doesn't LOOK like something relevant to my job or a clear request I tend to ignore it. (like forwarding me a client conversation where they were discussing a possible solution for something - that to me just sounds like 'informing me' it doesn't sound like "eck, please take care of that - here is the budget and deadlines')

    - he asks me to do things he never does himself. (briefs with deadlines etc. when the initial request I got was a 4 word sms, drowned in what i see as information not relevant to my job - personal stuff makes me fall asleep)

    - He (to me) confuses his personal 'style' with company policies. ie: he's very good at convincing people. I can't 'use that' as a method. Or he wants me to write emails to clients like he would (it would take me 5 times more time, I'm a factual person, i state facts in emails, I'm not a cheerleader)
    I think he is very skilled at these things but I can't use any of them in my work.

    recently he told me he wanted to take care of clients relations more and let me do the work (as I should). Only to come back to me asking me to do client relations and blaming me for unhappy clients (even if it's on a project I stopped working on months ago).
    IT CONFUSES ME SO MUCH.
    Expression of the post modern paradox : "For the love of god, religions are so full of shit"

    Theory is always superseded by Fact...
    ... In theory.

    “I’d hate to die twice. It’s so boring.”
    Richard Feynman's last recorded words

    "Great is the human who has not lost his childlike heart."
    Mencius (Meng-Tse), 4th century BCE

  3. #33
    Its time. Cassandra's Avatar
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    Bear, it looks like you guys don' appreciate each others strengths and aren't a natural match for covering each others weaknesses. Add to that the difference in valuing similar information (Ne info through Fi or Ti) and that would drive anyone in that situation bonkers.

    Overall, I'd say he probably feels like you don't value his skills and experience, and that is going to make him seriously rebellious and butt hurt. Unfortunately, that kind of tension can really throw an ENFP off his motivation to do his job and make them distracted as it creates a negative affirmation-esque situation. IOW, people avoid things they consider unpleasurable and anything that is associated with this. If he is starting to associate his job with this aversion, he's unable to be on his game. Remember that you get your drive somewhere else.

    And to be honest...it sounds like you are..blind or immune to what he does have the ability to contribute (it's that Fi thing). If he has picked up on that, he might be resentful that you don't recognise his strengths. In fact, in one of your posts you described it as a weakness (the whole 'liking' thing) and commented on how it doesn't work on you...you do realise that that is what often makes us great at customer service for instance (granted, as long as we have the follow-through right as well, but again, that hangs together with the whole losing motivation thing, perhaps - I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt as I don't know him or his level of professionalism)

    I know you probably do value him, but the tension and frustrations kind of have made him seriously doubt that, I bet. Similarly, the fact that you dismiss info he finds highly relevant, is going to add onto that.

    I'm not excusing this stuff, I'm simply trying to find some answers for the questions you're asking, for the record.


    I'm betting that a lot of the frustration is probably also stemming from you guys seeing your own Si shadow in each other and reacting badly to it (think things as being on time, staying on schedule, important details and stuff).

    Is there any way you can give him perhaps a quick intro to MBTI, or at least sit down with him and acknowledge which things are important to him and explain to him how come they aren't important to you and how you work? If he truly is ENFP, he should lap this info up and appreciate you opening up. I get that this isn't usually your cup of tea, but it may just...help you guys work better in sync. Also use this as an opportunity to show him how what he has to teach might be valuable, but it isn't something that suits your style, and that you'll need to adapt that info to make it work *for YOU*. It should appeal to his Fi to hear that.

    As for hiring the wrong guy, is it possible that he was just venting at you because of the frustration the guy was causing him, and not blaming you for it? That sounds like something I would do, myself. Normally, I'd own up to that mistake but if I already felt my reputation and value were under attack, I'd be a lot less likely to voice that since I might feel owning it will just be used as one more reason to not take me seriously.



    ....keep in mind this is a very crude brainstorming session.
    Likes EcK liked this post

  4. #34
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EcK View Post
    He keeps trying to have me on a 'minimum rate + bonus' system. The bonus being at his own discretion. I see that as insulting (ie: it's my amount of work that defines how much I get paid, not your good will). He keeps telling me that his 'normal system' despite the fact that every freelancer we work with (i'm a freelancer, I just work with him alot, that doesn't make him my employer) charging twice to 4 times more.
    I really TRIED to do it his way but I just can't sift through all that information all the time just to find one request he says he made (ie: he wont actually tell me what it is, he'll just say 'read your texts/emails'. Most of the time it's something that will be in the history of his exchanges with clients (2 emails down and gmail 'hides' that by default) or in an email with a title that has nothing to do with the request.
    You're a freelancer and it sounds like he's trying to treat you like an employee.


    I feel like asking for a simple structure of
    1-proper title for the email [name of client] NEW REQUEST - short description of request
    2- clearly stating that this is a request and putting bullet points of what the request is
    Tell him it would streamline your productivity.

    Or he wants me to write emails to clients like he would (it would take me 5 times more time, I'm a factual person, i state facts in emails, I'm not a cheerleader)
    You're a freelancer and it sounds like he's trying to treat you like an employee. Rinse and repeat.

    recently he told me he wanted to take care of clients relations more and let me do the work (as I should). Only to come back to me asking me to do client relations and blaming me for unhappy clients (even if it's on a project I stopped working on months ago).
    IT CONFUSES ME SO MUCH.
    Clearly, there is a communication problem. If you don't need the money, bail. If you do need the money, solve the problems.
    Without music, life would be a mistake.
    ― Friedrich Nietzsche

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