iNtrovert
New member
- Joined
- Nov 28, 2012
- Messages
- 359
- MBTI Type
- Ni
- Enneagram
- 4w5
- Instinctual Variant
- sp/so
Let me just start by saying I'm an INFJ. Even though I don't like working in groups I normally do pretty well. I'm good at filling w.e role I need to fill to get the job done. I like being a team player but If I have to take control I will. That being said I have never in my life been apart of a more dysfunctional group than this one.
For clarifications sake I'll give you the long and shot of our first few meetings and the group dynamic.
Girl A : The Planner, organizes group meetings, everything extremely opinionated.
Girl B : The Doormat,very quiet and will let other group members walk all over her.
Boy(only guy) The Dictator, Extremely stubborn and extremely opinionated.
INFJ(Me): The Mediator,Listening and trying to meditate everything all the time.
A typical group discussion looks like this:
Girl A: Today we need to get parts 1-3 done and I think we should do it this way. I'll do part 1 ....Boy you do part 2... GirlB you do part 3 and ....INFJ(me) you do summery and analysis. Everyone should have it done by this time.
Boy: No I don't want to do part 2.... I don't even think we should be working on part 1-3 I think we should be working on part 3 - 5 and I think it should be done this way and Idc what you say this is what we are doing.
INFJ(me): Well why don't we just Let Boy work on what he's most comfortable with. I can consolidate all the work If....
Girl A: NO we need to do it this way!
Boy: Who made you the boss. I'm doing it my way!
Me: Well we can actually do it both ways if we......
Boy: No we need to do it this way
Girl A: Your way makes no sense we need to go in order
INFJ(Me): Well actually we can work within the schedule and get it done and Boy you can still....
Girl A: My way is best
Boy: Your can't tell me what to do
INFJ(me): I think we can all get what we want here if we work within Girl A's scheduled and just let Boy work on part 3 since he wanted to do parts 3-5 anyway. All we have to do is switch
Girl B and Boy's parts around. Are you OK with that Girl B?
Girl B: Yea that's actually a good Idea. I'm more comfortable doing part....
Boy: No! I am doing part 3
INFJ(me) Yea ,I just said that that if we do it this way you can....
Girl A : No we are doing parts 1-3
INFJ(me): Yes if we do it that way we will sill be working on.....
Girl A : MY WAY! EVERYONE ELSE IS WRONG!
Boy: MY WAY...BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO LISTEN TO ANYONE EVEN THOUGH I HAVE NO IDEAL WHAT REALLY NEEDS TO BE DONE!
Girl B: ......
I Can normally work around people like this but Girl A and Boy simply don't listen. They spend the entire time talking at each other instead of listening. Even when they can get what they want by compromising they are just so caught up in themselves that they can't even see it. Girl B doesn't stick up for herself at all so I feel like I have to advocate for her and myself all while keeping the other two members from killing each other. What ends up happening is my portion (which is to summarize and analyze the other parts) takes me twice as long because Girl A and Boy give me two completely unrelated topics and Girl B is so confused on what to do I can barely use her work. I'm new to the whole MBIT thing and I just recently typed myself. I don't think I'm skilled enough to go around typing others but i'll try anything at this point to get these people to work together. What types are Girl A, Girl B and Boy and how can I get them to listen to each other?
For clarifications sake I'll give you the long and shot of our first few meetings and the group dynamic.
Girl A : The Planner, organizes group meetings, everything extremely opinionated.
Girl B : The Doormat,very quiet and will let other group members walk all over her.
Boy(only guy) The Dictator, Extremely stubborn and extremely opinionated.
INFJ(Me): The Mediator,Listening and trying to meditate everything all the time.
A typical group discussion looks like this:
Girl A: Today we need to get parts 1-3 done and I think we should do it this way. I'll do part 1 ....Boy you do part 2... GirlB you do part 3 and ....INFJ(me) you do summery and analysis. Everyone should have it done by this time.
Boy: No I don't want to do part 2.... I don't even think we should be working on part 1-3 I think we should be working on part 3 - 5 and I think it should be done this way and Idc what you say this is what we are doing.
INFJ(me): Well why don't we just Let Boy work on what he's most comfortable with. I can consolidate all the work If....
Girl A: NO we need to do it this way!
Boy: Who made you the boss. I'm doing it my way!
Me: Well we can actually do it both ways if we......
Boy: No we need to do it this way
Girl A: Your way makes no sense we need to go in order
INFJ(Me): Well actually we can work within the schedule and get it done and Boy you can still....
Girl A: My way is best
Boy: Your can't tell me what to do
INFJ(me): I think we can all get what we want here if we work within Girl A's scheduled and just let Boy work on part 3 since he wanted to do parts 3-5 anyway. All we have to do is switch
Girl B and Boy's parts around. Are you OK with that Girl B?
Girl B: Yea that's actually a good Idea. I'm more comfortable doing part....
Boy: No! I am doing part 3
INFJ(me) Yea ,I just said that that if we do it this way you can....
Girl A : No we are doing parts 1-3
INFJ(me): Yes if we do it that way we will sill be working on.....
Girl A : MY WAY! EVERYONE ELSE IS WRONG!
Boy: MY WAY...BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO LISTEN TO ANYONE EVEN THOUGH I HAVE NO IDEAL WHAT REALLY NEEDS TO BE DONE!
Girl B: ......
I Can normally work around people like this but Girl A and Boy simply don't listen. They spend the entire time talking at each other instead of listening. Even when they can get what they want by compromising they are just so caught up in themselves that they can't even see it. Girl B doesn't stick up for herself at all so I feel like I have to advocate for her and myself all while keeping the other two members from killing each other. What ends up happening is my portion (which is to summarize and analyze the other parts) takes me twice as long because Girl A and Boy give me two completely unrelated topics and Girl B is so confused on what to do I can barely use her work. I'm new to the whole MBIT thing and I just recently typed myself. I don't think I'm skilled enough to go around typing others but i'll try anything at this point to get these people to work together. What types are Girl A, Girl B and Boy and how can I get them to listen to each other?
