Massaging my boss

[INTJMom]

Thank you. This isn't difficult to understand. I understood it just by reading the title of the thread.

and for goodness sake.

I mean, i can't believe that you actually have a problem with what's really going on there in the first place. You likely just have a slight bit of guilt because a part of you says you shouldn't be doing that, but overall you don't mind massaging your nude boss even if he's doing it to take advantage of all his female employees. Some part of you likes it/doesn't care, and you're simply denying the extremely overtly obvious facts of the situation.

And no, your bf would NOT like that.

It's a lot easier to judge logically and rationally at a safe distance.
I don't think the OP deserves to be ridiculed.

 

[MinervaSSS]

Of course, he's saving hundreds.. without taking into account the probable lawsuit.



Ohh, it was a fully body massage supposedly to also alleviate stress from his massive workweek. And I know it's common for full body massages to be in the nude.. not to say it is/should be the norm.

By the way, I work at an upscale urban spa, and at NO POINT are clients ever nude! They ARE nude at the 'other' spas, i.e. the rub-n-tugs. So him saying that this is 'the norm' for any kind of therapeutic massage is highly dubious. ...not that there's anything wrong with rub-n-tugs, but they have their place! Ok, enough posting on this thread *bows and exits*.

 

[Risen]

It's a lot easier to judge logically and rationally at a safe distance.
I don't think the OP deserves to be ridiculed.

I'm not ridiculing just for the heck of it. I'm being blatantly honest because she really should've been aware long before it got to the doing part. I honestly can't comprehend how people think sometimes. I mean if you're young then I guess you might have a harder time recognizing a bad situation. That's nothing new. I just hope that I can help someone to realize that they should think a little (even if they are a feeler, they are capable of thinking too) more about what they are doing. Like I said before, it's whatever if that's what she wanted, to be her boss's sexy masseuse. But I don't understand how she can set aside ALL rational thought for the sake of "being open minded" at the cost of getting herself into obviously bad situations that you will likely regret. In any case, I hope she can look back on the experience, whether she wants this or not, and learn from it. She definitely needs to learn from it.

 

[Tewt]

I'm not ridiculing just for the heck of it. I'm being blatantly honest because she really should've been aware long before it got to the doing part. I honestly can't comprehend how people think sometimes. I mean if you're young then I guess you might have a harder time recognizing a bad situation. That's nothing new. I just hope that I can help someone to realize that they should think a little (even if they are a feeler, they are capable of thinking too) more about what they are doing. Like I said before, it's whatever if that's what she wanted, to be her boss's sexy masseuse. But I don't understand how she can set aside ALL rational thought for the sake of "being open minded" at the cost of getting herself into obviously bad situations that you will likely regret. In any case, I hope she can look back on the experience, whether she wants this or not, and learn from it. She definitely needs to learn from it.

Anyone can get gotten. Predators know their victims before they even meet them. What could work on OP won't work on you, but that still doesn't mean you're superman and invincible. This is just a classic example of how young girls/women get into stupid situations.

 

[Risen]

Anyone can get gotten. Predators know their victims before they even meet them. What could work on OP won't work on you, but that still doesn't mean you're superman and invincible. This is just a classic example of how young girls/women get into stupid situations.

And that's why I'm trying to assist her in realizing that she NEEDS to be more aware from now on. Somebody needs to get that message across, though I apologize if she realizes all this anyway. It's called tough love. Or I could just be like everyone else and be like "Oh, it's alright, go forward again young one!' and enable her in repeating mistakes that could easily be avoided (if she judges the results of her actions here and determines it was a mistake). That kind of approach is why people never learn.

 

[Ivy]

Many young women are trained to be nice and polite above all else, and to always consider the feelings of others before their own comfort. It's difficult for some of us to grow a set (of ovaries, not balls).

 

[Tewt]

And that's why I'm trying to assist her in realizing that she NEEDS to be more aware from now on. Somebody needs to get that message across, though I apologize if she realizes all this anyway. It's called tough love. Or I could just be like everyone else and be like "Oh, it's alright, go forward again young one!' and enable her in repeating mistakes that could easily be avoided (if she judges the results of her actions here and determines it was a mistake). That kind of approach is why people never learn.

I didn't see anyone in this thread say it was ok, go ahead and do it. I think OP got it. She talked to her boyfriend and quit a job she needed. I'm sure this was a big learning experience.

Everyone has done something colossally stupid at one time or another. The difference is if something bad actually came from it or not. Some people get lucky.

As far as it being stupid, yeah it is. But you wouldn't believe how many young girls would do this or have done something similar.

 

[Risen]

But you wouldn't believe how many young girls would do this or have done something similar.

Yes, I would believe it. It's much the reason why I go around advocating some manner of ethics and morality because I know many people (girls in particular) are too naive to make the sorts of decisions that would otherwise help them avoid unfavorable situations like these. People will always make mistakes, but the point is to learn from them, and not repeat them. So long as that happens, you're generally well off (though some mistakes in life are hard to come back from). And as I alluded to, only the person themselves can decide if what they did was a mistake and if they can appreciate what resulted of their actions. One can only give advice to help people avoid things they know the person wont appreciate, not necessarily what is "good or bad" for them.

 

[Kasper]

Hehehe... I know I'm making a huge fuss, but someone's gotta stand up for the [potentially] innocent cause he aint here to give his side of the story.

*shrug* who cares if he's [potentially] innocent, she is innocent.

People have acknowledged that he may simply be stupid and cheap, the possibility he doesn't have sinister thoughts is covered, looking at the potential consequences of her gut being right vs being wrong the only thing that matters is her being protected not his potential innocence.

I get what you're saying but that's the attitude that leaves people in bad situations, the OP didn't leave straight away when she realised what was going on because I'm sure she wanted to believe he was innocent and safe, her gut told her it wasn't right though, rather than giving him the benefit of the doubt she should have listened to her gut then, the fact that nothing happened is great but not to be taken for granted.

I've heard plenty of people over the years blame rape victims for putting themselves in bad situations, situations where their intuition tells them not to feel safe and yet for reasons of politeness or not wanting to think bad of others they ignore it, I don't agree that rape victims are to be blamed but women do have to learn to pay attention to that feeling and act on it accepting that they may look foolish or judge someone unfairly, the consequences of going against your gut with the wrong person is too scary to think of.