aleks2200
New member
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2022
- Messages
- 12
Hi everyone! I filled in another questionnaire from Personality Cafe. I wanted to focus specifically on my MBTI but I'd love any input on any other types, if you find anything. My enneagram is 3w4. And my temperament is sanguine. I'd consider myself more introverted than extroverted, but I think that my other inclinations are inclined towards the external, rather than the internal. It's been hard to find my MBTI because I've got a contradictory personality, and often use my imagination more as a coping mechanism than a way to make decisions and interpret the world. I'd love to answer more questions if you have any.
Prerequisites
What age range are you in?
I'm 19 years old.
Any disorders or conditions we should know about?
An anxiety disorder and possible ADHD.
Main Questions
1. What do you think your life is about? What drives you in life? This can be something like a goal or a purpose, or anything else that comes to mind.
2. What were you like as a kid?
Growing up, I was extremely self-centered and admittedly lived like I was the 'main character,' often imagining being famous and successful. I was very hyper and talkative with people and in environments I was comfortable in, but the opposite (super reserved) when I was with people I specifically felt anxious around. I didn't feel anxious around strangers, but people who seemed judgmental or criticised me. I felt like I didn't want to open up around anyone who'd hurt me, but in general, I found it easy to open up with anyone else. I was also very introverted and found more comfort in reading and doing homework than I did in running around the playground at school. (However, I was definitely much more lively with family and friends at home)
I was also a very stubborn child and went through my emotional/rebellious teenage stage before I was 13. As a teenager, I was much more laidback, except that I didn't work as hard as I did as a child, and didn't do as well as I'd have liked to in school. Growing up, I definitely wanted to work as hard as I could, because I saw success as a way out of my situation. If I was the cleverest child in my class, I could go to a new school. It also gave me recognition I enjoyed. I wanted a very clear identity, and since I knew I was relatively intelligent, I decided to be the intelligent one. As a teenager I had a very black/white way of thinking, so I decided instead of being intelligent, I wanted to be attractive and put all my energy in that. I often vacillated between wanting to be everything and focusing on perfecting one thing.
3. Describe your relationship with your parents. Does anything stand out about the way you interacted?
I think I'm pretty lucky with my parents, because they understand me well enough and are very accommodating when they need to be. I wish that we were closer, where we could communicate our feelings to each other constructively, but I think that we're all too afraid to. I've noticed I can be very stoic, even with my loved ones, because I'm scared of letting people in. Even though talking about my emotions and pain has yielded good results and closer relationships in the past, my mind focuses on all the times it led to temporary misunderstandings and conflict. I don't know how to talk about emotions without it sounding accusatory or possibly hurting someone, even unintentionally, so I'd rather preserve my relationships and deal with my feelings on my own, if at all.
4. What values are important to you? What do you hope to avoid doing or being?
I value the things most humans do like family and friends (any human connection), safety and health. The more distinguishing things I value are material and abstract success and the freedom to explore all my possibilities. I want to achieve all my goals and live up to my ideal idea of myself, so that I don't need to keep thinking of when it'll happen and actually experience it instead. However, I also want a good bit of fun in my life, where I can travel, meet new people and have fulfilling, healthy relationships. I don't think my goals are very different from the average person but I definitely put more value on success than my siblings, for instance, who also think about their future families and communities a lot.
I hope to avoid being someone who becomes complacent in their abilities. I want to keep growing and encouraging myself to grow. I've become complacent before and it isn't fun, because it keeps me in one place. I also don't want to be someone who thinks I'm above other people. That's admittedly something I've struggled with in the past, possibly as a coping mechanism for my own insecurities, so that's a big one.
5. Aside from phobias, are there any fears that characterized your childhood? Have they continued into the present day, or not, and if not, how have you dealt with them?
One of my greatest fears that characterized my childhood was that I'd never be more than what I was. I was very ambitious but my fear of failure and looking ridiculous held me back. I'd work at being a singer or actress, but always felt afraid that I wouldn't actually get a role or a good role or that I'd be too shy, and that my time would be in vain. I didn't want to try so hard only to be rejected and fail. My fear of failure still exists and it's held me back more now than it did when I was younger. When I was younger, I'd still try for the things I liked, as unfeasible as they were, but now I try to stick to realistic goals, hoping that my success in them will lead me to my greater accomplishments.
6. a.) How do you see yourself? I think that I'm a very sunny, ambitious person. I'd say my strengths are that I'm determined, kind, hopeful and playful. My weaknesses are probably that I'm materialistic, vain and self-centered (sometimes, less so than I used to be).
b.) How do you want others to see you? I want people to see me as elegant, graceful, kind and ambitious. I don't mind if people acknowledge some of my faults like being naive or vain, but I wouldn't like anyone to think I were a failure or anything like that.
c.) What do you dislike the most in other people? I dislike aggression or pushiness in other people, especially when it's rewarded.
7. Which habit do you most automatically act on? Rank the following habits from most to least automatic, on a scale of 1 (most) to 3 (least).
a.) Work for personal gain with more concern for self than for others. (1)
b.) Strive for a sense of tranquility in yourself and the world around you (2)
c.) Decide what is right for the betterment of something or someone else. (3)
8. Where does the wandering mind take you? What provokes this?
I believe I fall victim to my wandering mind when I'm bored or angry. When I'm bored, I think of fun things I'd rather be doing, what I need to do later on (like planning assignments in my head) or imagining random things. When I'm angry, I think of all the clever things I wish I'd say to that person but know I don't want to, because I dislike showing anger because I think it makes me look uncultured.
9.What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?
10. Let's talk about emotions. Explain what might make you feel the following, how they feel to you or how you react to the emotion:
a.) anger
I don't have a great relationship with anger. I used to throw lots of tantrums as a child, often with a dramatic edge to them, like 'sorry I'm not perfect'. My books inspired my lines. However, I'd feel a great amount of shame after I threw a tantrum and I'd silently plead with myself not to do so again when I was angry.
Now, years later, I usually close off when I'm angry. I feel and look cold to other people, and I don't say anything at all. I don't want people to know I'm angry because I don't want to talk about my feelings, because I don't want to confront my feelings. I'd rather wait for it to ease and then do something else.
b.) shame
Shame is probably my most prominent emotion. I don't like it and avoid it at all costs. I feel easily embarrassed and often do things so that I don't feel embarrassed. I remember I used to put chocolate in my coffee and my mum didn't seem to like that so I started swearing off any sweetener in my coffee, unless she wasn't home, because I didn't want her to think of me a certain way.
c.) anxiety
Since I've had anxiety from a young age, it's affected my life quite a bit. My coping mechanism is to often 'get over with' what's causing me the anxiety, but I feel like I'm emotionally closed off from it while I'm feeling it. It feels like a physical discomfort but I try to distract my actual mind.
11. Describe how you respond to the following:
a.) stress
Stress is similar to anxiety, except that it feels less like fear, and more like a nagging thing in my brain. I mostly get stressed from schoolwork, so I try to finish it up as quickly as I can now. I try to avoid being too perfectionistic because my perfectionism has nearly always led to extreme procrastination.
Something that stresses me is when other people are stressed for me, because I don't want them to feel like I'm incompetent and can't worry for myself. I don't let on how stressed I get, so people often think I'm much more easygoing than I really am.
b.) negative unexpected change
Long-term negative change stresses me out and my mind quickly looks for solutions to avoid it, but when I know I can't escape it, I go into problem-solving mode, where I try and find every thing I can do to deal with it. Quick unexpected change also stresses me but I try to breathe through it and remain calm.
12. a.) What kind of role are you naturally inclined to take in a group? Why?
I'm inclined to take the 'quietly working hard on her own and wishing she could do this herself' role in a group. I'd like to lead but I don't know if people would actually listen to me. And I can be a bit of a control freak when I want to, so I like to do everything on my own.
b.) If put in power, how do you behave? Why?
If put in power, I would probably try to be a good but fair leader. I've never led because I was always the quiet one at school and then in my family, I'm actually the least controlling. However, I'd love to try and lead a group.
c.) Do you tend to struggle with others who have authority over you? Why?
Yes. I struggle when others try to make decisions for me, probably because I can be a bit irresponsible and immature sometimes. I understand why they feel the need to step in but I also feel like it does less good in the long run, because I don't get to do things on my own. Since I'm actually very responsible when I need to act independently.
13. What do you see or notice in others that most people don't?
This one's tricky because I'm not always the most observant. I can pick up on people being passive-aggressive quicker than others.
14. Comment on your relationship with trust.
I'm a very trusting person, sometimes to a fault. I trust people's motives, and believe that most people are inherently good and fair. However, I don't always trust people with my thoughts and emotions, or to do my work for me.
15. Briefly: What religious and/or political beliefs do you have? Do you think they influenced your responses in this questionnaire?
I don't have any strong religious or political views, so definitely didn't influence my responses.
Extra Questions
Which of the following temptations do you find yourself acting upon the most? (And briefly state why)
- To constantly push yourself to be “the best”
- To think that fulfillment is somewhere else
- To consider yourself entirely self-sufficient
- To cyclically become indecisive and seek others for reassurance
- To replace direct experience with concepts
- To have an extreme sense of personal moral obligation
- To avoid conflicts and asserting yourself
- To overuse imagination in searching for yourself
- To be without needs, well-intentioned
I put this in order. I want to be the best at everything I try, whether it's a uni course or a hobby like drawing. Sometimes I feel like I could push myself harder in different circumstances. This might be more my anxiety and ADHD but I definitely become indecisive and need to hear from other people that something's all right.
I'm not a very abstract thinker so I appreciate having experience with something to learn more about it. I think that I have a strong moral compass, even if I fall short of it sometimes.
Prerequisites
What age range are you in?
I'm 19 years old.
Any disorders or conditions we should know about?
An anxiety disorder and possible ADHD.
Main Questions
1. What do you think your life is about? What drives you in life? This can be something like a goal or a purpose, or anything else that comes to mind.
2. What were you like as a kid?
Growing up, I was extremely self-centered and admittedly lived like I was the 'main character,' often imagining being famous and successful. I was very hyper and talkative with people and in environments I was comfortable in, but the opposite (super reserved) when I was with people I specifically felt anxious around. I didn't feel anxious around strangers, but people who seemed judgmental or criticised me. I felt like I didn't want to open up around anyone who'd hurt me, but in general, I found it easy to open up with anyone else. I was also very introverted and found more comfort in reading and doing homework than I did in running around the playground at school. (However, I was definitely much more lively with family and friends at home)
I was also a very stubborn child and went through my emotional/rebellious teenage stage before I was 13. As a teenager, I was much more laidback, except that I didn't work as hard as I did as a child, and didn't do as well as I'd have liked to in school. Growing up, I definitely wanted to work as hard as I could, because I saw success as a way out of my situation. If I was the cleverest child in my class, I could go to a new school. It also gave me recognition I enjoyed. I wanted a very clear identity, and since I knew I was relatively intelligent, I decided to be the intelligent one. As a teenager I had a very black/white way of thinking, so I decided instead of being intelligent, I wanted to be attractive and put all my energy in that. I often vacillated between wanting to be everything and focusing on perfecting one thing.
3. Describe your relationship with your parents. Does anything stand out about the way you interacted?
I think I'm pretty lucky with my parents, because they understand me well enough and are very accommodating when they need to be. I wish that we were closer, where we could communicate our feelings to each other constructively, but I think that we're all too afraid to. I've noticed I can be very stoic, even with my loved ones, because I'm scared of letting people in. Even though talking about my emotions and pain has yielded good results and closer relationships in the past, my mind focuses on all the times it led to temporary misunderstandings and conflict. I don't know how to talk about emotions without it sounding accusatory or possibly hurting someone, even unintentionally, so I'd rather preserve my relationships and deal with my feelings on my own, if at all.
4. What values are important to you? What do you hope to avoid doing or being?
I value the things most humans do like family and friends (any human connection), safety and health. The more distinguishing things I value are material and abstract success and the freedom to explore all my possibilities. I want to achieve all my goals and live up to my ideal idea of myself, so that I don't need to keep thinking of when it'll happen and actually experience it instead. However, I also want a good bit of fun in my life, where I can travel, meet new people and have fulfilling, healthy relationships. I don't think my goals are very different from the average person but I definitely put more value on success than my siblings, for instance, who also think about their future families and communities a lot.
I hope to avoid being someone who becomes complacent in their abilities. I want to keep growing and encouraging myself to grow. I've become complacent before and it isn't fun, because it keeps me in one place. I also don't want to be someone who thinks I'm above other people. That's admittedly something I've struggled with in the past, possibly as a coping mechanism for my own insecurities, so that's a big one.
5. Aside from phobias, are there any fears that characterized your childhood? Have they continued into the present day, or not, and if not, how have you dealt with them?
One of my greatest fears that characterized my childhood was that I'd never be more than what I was. I was very ambitious but my fear of failure and looking ridiculous held me back. I'd work at being a singer or actress, but always felt afraid that I wouldn't actually get a role or a good role or that I'd be too shy, and that my time would be in vain. I didn't want to try so hard only to be rejected and fail. My fear of failure still exists and it's held me back more now than it did when I was younger. When I was younger, I'd still try for the things I liked, as unfeasible as they were, but now I try to stick to realistic goals, hoping that my success in them will lead me to my greater accomplishments.
6. a.) How do you see yourself? I think that I'm a very sunny, ambitious person. I'd say my strengths are that I'm determined, kind, hopeful and playful. My weaknesses are probably that I'm materialistic, vain and self-centered (sometimes, less so than I used to be).
b.) How do you want others to see you? I want people to see me as elegant, graceful, kind and ambitious. I don't mind if people acknowledge some of my faults like being naive or vain, but I wouldn't like anyone to think I were a failure or anything like that.
c.) What do you dislike the most in other people? I dislike aggression or pushiness in other people, especially when it's rewarded.
7. Which habit do you most automatically act on? Rank the following habits from most to least automatic, on a scale of 1 (most) to 3 (least).
a.) Work for personal gain with more concern for self than for others. (1)
b.) Strive for a sense of tranquility in yourself and the world around you (2)
c.) Decide what is right for the betterment of something or someone else. (3)
8. Where does the wandering mind take you? What provokes this?
I believe I fall victim to my wandering mind when I'm bored or angry. When I'm bored, I think of fun things I'd rather be doing, what I need to do later on (like planning assignments in my head) or imagining random things. When I'm angry, I think of all the clever things I wish I'd say to that person but know I don't want to, because I dislike showing anger because I think it makes me look uncultured.
9.What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?
10. Let's talk about emotions. Explain what might make you feel the following, how they feel to you or how you react to the emotion:
a.) anger
I don't have a great relationship with anger. I used to throw lots of tantrums as a child, often with a dramatic edge to them, like 'sorry I'm not perfect'. My books inspired my lines. However, I'd feel a great amount of shame after I threw a tantrum and I'd silently plead with myself not to do so again when I was angry.
Now, years later, I usually close off when I'm angry. I feel and look cold to other people, and I don't say anything at all. I don't want people to know I'm angry because I don't want to talk about my feelings, because I don't want to confront my feelings. I'd rather wait for it to ease and then do something else.
b.) shame
Shame is probably my most prominent emotion. I don't like it and avoid it at all costs. I feel easily embarrassed and often do things so that I don't feel embarrassed. I remember I used to put chocolate in my coffee and my mum didn't seem to like that so I started swearing off any sweetener in my coffee, unless she wasn't home, because I didn't want her to think of me a certain way.
c.) anxiety
Since I've had anxiety from a young age, it's affected my life quite a bit. My coping mechanism is to often 'get over with' what's causing me the anxiety, but I feel like I'm emotionally closed off from it while I'm feeling it. It feels like a physical discomfort but I try to distract my actual mind.
11. Describe how you respond to the following:
a.) stress
Stress is similar to anxiety, except that it feels less like fear, and more like a nagging thing in my brain. I mostly get stressed from schoolwork, so I try to finish it up as quickly as I can now. I try to avoid being too perfectionistic because my perfectionism has nearly always led to extreme procrastination.
Something that stresses me is when other people are stressed for me, because I don't want them to feel like I'm incompetent and can't worry for myself. I don't let on how stressed I get, so people often think I'm much more easygoing than I really am.
b.) negative unexpected change
Long-term negative change stresses me out and my mind quickly looks for solutions to avoid it, but when I know I can't escape it, I go into problem-solving mode, where I try and find every thing I can do to deal with it. Quick unexpected change also stresses me but I try to breathe through it and remain calm.
12. a.) What kind of role are you naturally inclined to take in a group? Why?
I'm inclined to take the 'quietly working hard on her own and wishing she could do this herself' role in a group. I'd like to lead but I don't know if people would actually listen to me. And I can be a bit of a control freak when I want to, so I like to do everything on my own.
b.) If put in power, how do you behave? Why?
If put in power, I would probably try to be a good but fair leader. I've never led because I was always the quiet one at school and then in my family, I'm actually the least controlling. However, I'd love to try and lead a group.
c.) Do you tend to struggle with others who have authority over you? Why?
Yes. I struggle when others try to make decisions for me, probably because I can be a bit irresponsible and immature sometimes. I understand why they feel the need to step in but I also feel like it does less good in the long run, because I don't get to do things on my own. Since I'm actually very responsible when I need to act independently.
13. What do you see or notice in others that most people don't?
This one's tricky because I'm not always the most observant. I can pick up on people being passive-aggressive quicker than others.
14. Comment on your relationship with trust.
I'm a very trusting person, sometimes to a fault. I trust people's motives, and believe that most people are inherently good and fair. However, I don't always trust people with my thoughts and emotions, or to do my work for me.
15. Briefly: What religious and/or political beliefs do you have? Do you think they influenced your responses in this questionnaire?
I don't have any strong religious or political views, so definitely didn't influence my responses.
Extra Questions
Which of the following temptations do you find yourself acting upon the most? (And briefly state why)
- To constantly push yourself to be “the best”
- To think that fulfillment is somewhere else
- To consider yourself entirely self-sufficient
- To cyclically become indecisive and seek others for reassurance
- To replace direct experience with concepts
- To have an extreme sense of personal moral obligation
- To avoid conflicts and asserting yourself
- To overuse imagination in searching for yourself
- To be without needs, well-intentioned
I put this in order. I want to be the best at everything I try, whether it's a uni course or a hobby like drawing. Sometimes I feel like I could push myself harder in different circumstances. This might be more my anxiety and ADHD but I definitely become indecisive and need to hear from other people that something's all right.
I'm not a very abstract thinker so I appreciate having experience with something to learn more about it. I think that I have a strong moral compass, even if I fall short of it sometimes.
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