Well, it's said that if you drop what causes you unhappiness then what is left is "happiness".
There are a great deal of sad things.
1.) my childhood (mostly). MY father said nothing positive to me ever. There was absolutely nothing I could do earn a crumb of approval. (I can't change my past. Maybe the "E-1 imaginary friend" and I can go back and visit my childhood self.)
2.) My job is difficult because it seems that we work harder and harder for decreasing revenue, and this economy seems bad. We produce a luxury good. Further, even if sales were great, our actual production was very bad. (But it's not as simple as quitting my job to find a new one. My current job is very rare.)
3.) Lack of relationships, which is life-long.
4.) 40 year old virgin. It's not so much that sex is a great, wonderful place. It's that I seemingly have little ability to form psychologically intimate relationships, and it doesn' seem to be getting easier.
Probably (according one online test) I have major depression. However, local therapist has told me he doesn't want to see me because I don't really have a class 1 disorder like schzophrenia or something.
I can't even talk about some of the problems in a forum.
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What causes me happiness?
1. Suceeding at my job or E-5 praise.
2. Approval and feedback (like this thread)
3. My pets (dog and cat)
4. I'm reading a book I like.
5. Approval from my source of security (my job)
6. Hints of improvement in the economy
7. Food (acutual I wonder if I'm getting an eating disorder)
8. Shopping. I spent an insane amount this week, which may be another "disorder". I have about $80 of stuff coming from Amazon, for example.
9. I live and work in nature, so I like nature. I also enjoyed my trip to a medium sized city last weekend. Also, I'm socializing with a local free thought group, which I hope to do more regularly.
10. Functional equipment and vehicles.
11. Looking the baby fish at night with a flashlight.
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There are probably other things that make me happy. I think my childhood created a well of sadness that will never be satisfied.
I was reading about major depression in conjunction with taking an online test. It said that suicide is more likely when "coping skills" are less than "pain". Therefore, in this thread, I'm seeking both ways to increase my coping skills and reasons for living, and also ways to decrease my "pain", such as it is.
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Thanks for your replies!