My family is filled with crazy people. I should include myself, although I find it quite funny, because if you dont laugh, you cry.
My mom is an enfp who was abused very badly as a child-physically, sexually and emotionally. She ran away at 15 and got married. She carries a lot of diagnosis, takes lots of meds, but about every three years she chunks it all and goes on an alcoholic or meth induced binge. OTC and presciption drugs just dont seem to do the trick....
She has been married 9 times. (You can laugh, it's okay, I certainly do.
) We are all taking bets on double digits, so were quite excited when she dumped husband number 9, an ISTJ, a few years back and moved in with this entp guy, but no go, she got back with number 9. Did I mention she dumped number 7, a sweet ISFP for the ENTP brother of number 9? You cant make this stuff up. I went to 12 schools in 12 years. i left home at 16 and moved in with an older friend as i couldnt handle my sister stealing cars and having sex with guys in her bedroom while I tried to sleep. Not to mention smoking dope with my mom.
My childhood was filled with excitement when she would dump a husband as that meant we got move to a new house, a new school or maybe, if we were really lucky, live with my ENFP grandmom for a bit. It turns out relationships are hard. Relationships are REALLY hard if you are completely emotionally unstable and prone to drug and alcohol abuse. I would happily play under the table with my ponies while she screamed and fought with my grandmom, her current husband, or her brothers. We had lots of family therapy together, although it doesnt seem to have worked very well on her or my sister, or even me i guess.
My dad died when very small and the limited exposure to his mostly FJ family was hard as it felt like they looked down upon us. I just sort of knew they didnt understand.
My mom's husbands and boyfriends would come and go. The first one I recall was the ESFP who would drink and then beat her bloody. Then their were the fights with the INTJ and him either not feeding us or forcing us to eat giant meals due to his control freak nature. We lived in a nice house though. There was also the incident where he got in a fist fight with my uncles and they through a cinder block through our front window. After that, I recall going hungry as she was so fucked up on coke, she couldnt make us burgers-that was her ESFP boyfriend Guy. ISFP husband was nice until he tried to kiss my sister, granted after our mom ran off with another man and left her with the guy. Dont feel bad, my ESFP sister stole several thousand dollars from him and left him as co-signer on a car loan that got repo-ed. Actually two car loans. He didnt seem to pick up on the pattern...
Um,so, yes your family can totally influence how you grow and develop. I started off shy, but never really learned normal social skills as we moved so often that I was always the new kid. I just gave up after awhile and became introverted and detached from the whole mess and would loose myself in books or my own imagination and exploration.
My mom and sis are exceptionally emotionally manipulative. I have listened to them wail for hours and cry about things as they ask me for money. I cant cry. I really have a hard time crying myself. pain yes, but tears are so very rare.
In addition I, as you might imagine, didnt trust men very much, or place much value in the sanctity of marraige, thus was driven to develop Te very strongly-I knew I needed to be independent so that i would not get caught in the trap of reliance upon others that my mom was in. Responsibility, work ethic, self reliance and an extreme aversion to depending upon others are the bumpy scars I carry as a result. In order to cope with the overwhelming emotional, manipulative environment I became extremely concealed in my emotions-they are mine. I cut off the other people around me as a child, as I would have gone batty, feeling their screaming pain. I also detest emotional manipulation. Oddly I realize that when I am badly hurt, I will appear to be emotionally manipulative, inadvertantly, by sharing my pain. It sickens me in some sense.
However now, when I do allow myself to feel others pain, I am extremely sensitive and hyperaware of it, highly sensitive person style. I am also very sensitive to emotional pain when I choose to share myself with others, far too sensitive.
Oddly ^^ this all sounds really bad, but if anybody asked how my childhood was, I'd just say pretty normal, if I didnt stop to think on it...I guess I always think of kids who have it so much worse, like my cousins, so I almost seem blessed in some sense.