Merced
Talk to me.
- Joined
- May 14, 2016
- Messages
- 3,596
- MBTI Type
- ESTJ
- Enneagram
- 28?
- Instinctual Variant
- so/sp
So it starts off as any other dream. The goofy premise of the day is going to some elementary school to participate in a summer camp that focuses on prep for our next AP classes. There must be multiple camps happening at the same time, because there are kids of all ages. We do a lot of work and I have a little folder filled with assignments and notes. I remember being extremely annoyed but mildly satisfied. I'm pretty sure I only went to prep for two AP classes, but the camp made all participants do prep for all of the AP courses available. The camp has many of my classmates, as this isn't my first time with AP classes and most of us were encouraged by our AP Western Civics teacher to "go if you know for a fact that you suck as a student and need a reminder that school exists and summer work is always watching you."
It's lunch time and looks like our camp isn’t the only camp that is having lunch at this time. As we are walking (in a line for some reason) to cafeteria, a classmate that I vaguely know who was line leader starts speedwalking-- borderline running. I laugh at his excitement, calling out to him by saying "I can’t believe this 17 year old kid is actually breaking a sweat to get a chicken sandwich!" He stops and turns around to realize he is way ahead of us. Laughing, he comes back and stays in the middle of the line. I am now the line leader. We are all still chuckling and someone says something that makes me make an ugly snort. At the same time, it looks like one of the younger kids was walking by. He must've also said something before I laughed because he turns really defensively towards us and then snarls at me. He’s just some kid, fifth grade probably, so I smile at him and shrug it off. When we get inside the cafeteria, there isn't any "food". Just mints and s’mores. I take a seat, not knowing that it is sorta like a buffet, where you just grab something and go. Everyone gets their food and sits at a table across the room from me. It then clicks that I can just get up and go to the table with the food. When I do, the little brat from earlier is sitting right next to the food. He insults me and I quickly snap back with something pretty brutal to say at a 5th grader. He doesn't seem too phased by it however and says "I know a word in spanish that I'm not allowed to say that’s just like you." One of my hispanic classmates walks up to get another s’more. She peps up asking if it's the B word. The little boy giggles and nods with a malicious face.
"Good thing I'm a big kid and not a chubby little 7 year old because I can actively fucking swear. Shit, I don't even have to spell my swear words cause I can just fucking say them, bitch. That’s b-i-t-c-h if you need a fucking c-l-u-e." I flip him off and my classmate is laughing and trying to get me to walk away. We are both aware that this dumb little kid is just being a dumb little kid, there is no real anger in my words, just annoyance. I reach for a s’more because that’s why I was near this kid in the first place and there’s only one left. My classmate snatches it up and I shrug. Wasn't a real meal anyway. When I’m back at my seat, there are a few stereotypical nerd boys at my table. They are most likely in middle school. They all seem flustered by either my presence or my blunt, humor filled statements towards them like "I would fight an infant in a heartbeat." They do not play along at all with my 'what if' style of small talk. My AP history teacher calls me over with an annoyed face. I assume he figured out that I cursed out a little kid was going to reprimand me, so I play it cool. No matter what, I can talk my way out of it. When I approach him, he nods to the English teacher next to him, who was just curious about where I learned what career field I wanted to go in and if my high school was a big influence on me.
Fast forward some time and the others are starting to feel the exact same way. One thing leads to another and we all collectively decide to leave in the middle of camp. When we sneak out, we're at first at a loss for ideas. We start playing hide n seek (ironically at first but it quickly becomes an unironic good time) when someone says "Let’s raise the stakes" and we’re all confused. "It’s hide n seek, not hunger games dude." another person calls out before the original speaker, a friend named José, flashes us all a bunch of golden cards. "We can fly anywhere in the country with these. Let's play hide n seek across the nation!" Most people are really turned off by that idea and bail. Only me, a few of the Hispanic girls i know, and my friend Kaitlyn stay to hear him out. Just enough people for everyone to get there own card.
When we magically get to the airport, the Hispanic girls claim to be a team and they wonder off immediately. It’s clear they only wanted the cards. That leaves me, Kaitlyn, and José. It's decided that I will be chasing those two down. If one of them is caught, they both lose. No more than two plane rides. They start running and throughout the terminals, I maintain a two car length distance between them. I am not athletic, not anymore at least, and running has never been my strong suit. Yet here, it is super fun doing parkour in this fun, familiar environment. Being on the plane with them doesn't count as catching them, so they felt more like time outs than anything. They managed to together on both of their plane rides. I wasn't anywhere near them.
Soon the game starts to get boring. I also got distracted by seeing a few acquaintances and old friends in the airport. I no longer know where they are, so I start using investigative skills to track them down. I manage to find them, except the are mildly irritated and say they are catching the next flight home. Sounds reasonable enough, I ask them to come with me so I can change my shoes and they do. They sit down with me and as i'm tying my shoes, I notice a lot of people boarding the plane. This gate isn't for the flight we are trying to catch, it was just the closest with seats available. I pay no attention to the movement of a large mass of people. When i am done fixing my shoes up, I look up to find that neither José nor Kaitlyn are sitting near me. They aren't in line either, so what gives? Turns out, that’s not the only thing to board. Across the gate is a BART like train that takes people different places. They make eye contact with me and smile as the doors shut. I really try not to feel absolutely hurt by this and attempt to distract myself by reviewing the folder of prep work I still had on me for some reason. Coincidentally, there is a guy next to me doing the same with his divorce papers. He gets annoyed at my paper rustling, as if he is doing any better keeping his papers quiet, and notso politely asks me to sit away from him. I tell him that I'll put the papers away but I am not moving seats. He seems displeased by the compromise but doesn't say a word until his name is called from the standby list.
The entire gate is empty now. The sun is setting. I peer through the window at the setting sun, verbally acknowledging that this has to be some form of performance art. One plane ride later and I am at the airport in the city I live it. It is nighttime. The Hispanic girls from earlier are also here. They must've just gotten home, too. Again, I am upset and betrayed, but I also understand that it won't get me home to mope. Just then, the public bus speeds by. I try waving violently to get it to slow down but to no avail. It turns the corner. I look at one of the clocks that the pick up area is scattered with. It says 7:58pm, which starts a panic within me. The public buses in Charleston do not run pass 8:00pm, meaning that there won't be another one. I can't call my parents to come pick me up because Dad would tear my head off if he found out I ditched another camp and the other is still at work, which is ironically at the very airport I need transportation from. I need to think fast. I then remember that the hispanic girls who were waiting for a ride live near me. I run to them, trying to hide the tears that are building up in my eyes. When I ask for a ride, one is about to answer, but she is cut off by another. "Sorry, we are going to my aunt's house. It’s on the other side of town." I nod, thanking them for some reason that is synonymous with nothing. As I’m walking away, the girl who was cut off speaks up. "Oh thank god. I don’t want to be in a car with her." The others laugh and continue that conversation in Spanish. As soon as I turn a corner, I break down crying.
This wasn't fun at all.
I “wake up†in a cold sweat. It's 2:00am. I get up and everything feels stiff and blurry. I use the bathroom and when I finish up, my mom gets home from work. She's concerned that I am even still awake right now and I tell her it was another nightmare. She makes me a glass of orange juice, which was weird, and tells me to try to go back to sleep. A menu appears in my thoughts. It’s four options of dialogue, like in a TellTale game. The memory of a menu appears, it’s of two possible endings: good and bad. Both are gray, implying I haven't gotten either. It is a little strange to me, seeing how TellTale games would never use definitive words like that to label their endings. More importantly, it scares me. The likelihood of me getting a bad ending is pretty high, given the circumstances, so I go to my room and hide. I stay in my room, huddled in a corner, until I see the sun come up. Right when i feel comfortable again, my body starts morphing. Well, splitting. like, mitosis.
And that's when I really wake up. at 2:40am.
It's lunch time and looks like our camp isn’t the only camp that is having lunch at this time. As we are walking (in a line for some reason) to cafeteria, a classmate that I vaguely know who was line leader starts speedwalking-- borderline running. I laugh at his excitement, calling out to him by saying "I can’t believe this 17 year old kid is actually breaking a sweat to get a chicken sandwich!" He stops and turns around to realize he is way ahead of us. Laughing, he comes back and stays in the middle of the line. I am now the line leader. We are all still chuckling and someone says something that makes me make an ugly snort. At the same time, it looks like one of the younger kids was walking by. He must've also said something before I laughed because he turns really defensively towards us and then snarls at me. He’s just some kid, fifth grade probably, so I smile at him and shrug it off. When we get inside the cafeteria, there isn't any "food". Just mints and s’mores. I take a seat, not knowing that it is sorta like a buffet, where you just grab something and go. Everyone gets their food and sits at a table across the room from me. It then clicks that I can just get up and go to the table with the food. When I do, the little brat from earlier is sitting right next to the food. He insults me and I quickly snap back with something pretty brutal to say at a 5th grader. He doesn't seem too phased by it however and says "I know a word in spanish that I'm not allowed to say that’s just like you." One of my hispanic classmates walks up to get another s’more. She peps up asking if it's the B word. The little boy giggles and nods with a malicious face.
"Good thing I'm a big kid and not a chubby little 7 year old because I can actively fucking swear. Shit, I don't even have to spell my swear words cause I can just fucking say them, bitch. That’s b-i-t-c-h if you need a fucking c-l-u-e." I flip him off and my classmate is laughing and trying to get me to walk away. We are both aware that this dumb little kid is just being a dumb little kid, there is no real anger in my words, just annoyance. I reach for a s’more because that’s why I was near this kid in the first place and there’s only one left. My classmate snatches it up and I shrug. Wasn't a real meal anyway. When I’m back at my seat, there are a few stereotypical nerd boys at my table. They are most likely in middle school. They all seem flustered by either my presence or my blunt, humor filled statements towards them like "I would fight an infant in a heartbeat." They do not play along at all with my 'what if' style of small talk. My AP history teacher calls me over with an annoyed face. I assume he figured out that I cursed out a little kid was going to reprimand me, so I play it cool. No matter what, I can talk my way out of it. When I approach him, he nods to the English teacher next to him, who was just curious about where I learned what career field I wanted to go in and if my high school was a big influence on me.
Fast forward some time and the others are starting to feel the exact same way. One thing leads to another and we all collectively decide to leave in the middle of camp. When we sneak out, we're at first at a loss for ideas. We start playing hide n seek (ironically at first but it quickly becomes an unironic good time) when someone says "Let’s raise the stakes" and we’re all confused. "It’s hide n seek, not hunger games dude." another person calls out before the original speaker, a friend named José, flashes us all a bunch of golden cards. "We can fly anywhere in the country with these. Let's play hide n seek across the nation!" Most people are really turned off by that idea and bail. Only me, a few of the Hispanic girls i know, and my friend Kaitlyn stay to hear him out. Just enough people for everyone to get there own card.
When we magically get to the airport, the Hispanic girls claim to be a team and they wonder off immediately. It’s clear they only wanted the cards. That leaves me, Kaitlyn, and José. It's decided that I will be chasing those two down. If one of them is caught, they both lose. No more than two plane rides. They start running and throughout the terminals, I maintain a two car length distance between them. I am not athletic, not anymore at least, and running has never been my strong suit. Yet here, it is super fun doing parkour in this fun, familiar environment. Being on the plane with them doesn't count as catching them, so they felt more like time outs than anything. They managed to together on both of their plane rides. I wasn't anywhere near them.
Soon the game starts to get boring. I also got distracted by seeing a few acquaintances and old friends in the airport. I no longer know where they are, so I start using investigative skills to track them down. I manage to find them, except the are mildly irritated and say they are catching the next flight home. Sounds reasonable enough, I ask them to come with me so I can change my shoes and they do. They sit down with me and as i'm tying my shoes, I notice a lot of people boarding the plane. This gate isn't for the flight we are trying to catch, it was just the closest with seats available. I pay no attention to the movement of a large mass of people. When i am done fixing my shoes up, I look up to find that neither José nor Kaitlyn are sitting near me. They aren't in line either, so what gives? Turns out, that’s not the only thing to board. Across the gate is a BART like train that takes people different places. They make eye contact with me and smile as the doors shut. I really try not to feel absolutely hurt by this and attempt to distract myself by reviewing the folder of prep work I still had on me for some reason. Coincidentally, there is a guy next to me doing the same with his divorce papers. He gets annoyed at my paper rustling, as if he is doing any better keeping his papers quiet, and notso politely asks me to sit away from him. I tell him that I'll put the papers away but I am not moving seats. He seems displeased by the compromise but doesn't say a word until his name is called from the standby list.
The entire gate is empty now. The sun is setting. I peer through the window at the setting sun, verbally acknowledging that this has to be some form of performance art. One plane ride later and I am at the airport in the city I live it. It is nighttime. The Hispanic girls from earlier are also here. They must've just gotten home, too. Again, I am upset and betrayed, but I also understand that it won't get me home to mope. Just then, the public bus speeds by. I try waving violently to get it to slow down but to no avail. It turns the corner. I look at one of the clocks that the pick up area is scattered with. It says 7:58pm, which starts a panic within me. The public buses in Charleston do not run pass 8:00pm, meaning that there won't be another one. I can't call my parents to come pick me up because Dad would tear my head off if he found out I ditched another camp and the other is still at work, which is ironically at the very airport I need transportation from. I need to think fast. I then remember that the hispanic girls who were waiting for a ride live near me. I run to them, trying to hide the tears that are building up in my eyes. When I ask for a ride, one is about to answer, but she is cut off by another. "Sorry, we are going to my aunt's house. It’s on the other side of town." I nod, thanking them for some reason that is synonymous with nothing. As I’m walking away, the girl who was cut off speaks up. "Oh thank god. I don’t want to be in a car with her." The others laugh and continue that conversation in Spanish. As soon as I turn a corner, I break down crying.
This wasn't fun at all.
I “wake up†in a cold sweat. It's 2:00am. I get up and everything feels stiff and blurry. I use the bathroom and when I finish up, my mom gets home from work. She's concerned that I am even still awake right now and I tell her it was another nightmare. She makes me a glass of orange juice, which was weird, and tells me to try to go back to sleep. A menu appears in my thoughts. It’s four options of dialogue, like in a TellTale game. The memory of a menu appears, it’s of two possible endings: good and bad. Both are gray, implying I haven't gotten either. It is a little strange to me, seeing how TellTale games would never use definitive words like that to label their endings. More importantly, it scares me. The likelihood of me getting a bad ending is pretty high, given the circumstances, so I go to my room and hide. I stay in my room, huddled in a corner, until I see the sun come up. Right when i feel comfortable again, my body starts morphing. Well, splitting. like, mitosis.
And that's when I really wake up. at 2:40am.
