I meant to post earlier.
I am in no way a J; but in many of my tests I score high in Ni and Fe, I really like and can identify with INFJs (despite the self-protective measures many undertake), and when I take tests about "what type you are versus what you want to be" I come up with INFJ as the type I end up trying to portray. It's sort of funny. I was always attracted to INFJs as friends as well and felt a lot of empathy with them.
I think it's more the function use emulation than anything. It's just that I can write INFJ away, off the bat, because I am just so NOT J, it's rather pathetic.
I also class as 5w4 (only a few points less for 4 than for 5) and INFJs can score as Fours.
I'm a slob at home. Everything is an organized mess. Completely chaotic to the outsider, but I know (at least generally) where everything is. There's piles of crap everywhere around here though. At work, I can get obsessed with organization. A place for everything and everything in its place. There has to be a better way to arrange this to make things easier to get to.
Sounds more like P organization in practice, but I know INFJs who are slobs at home and orderly elsewhere.
What would you prefer, if you could?
I forget things. I have auto-pay set up on most of my bills. If I don't, I'll forget to pay them. The bill gets set off to the side, stuff gets piled on top, and it ceases to exist until I come home and power is turned off (that happened twice last year 'til I came up with a way to remember).
Could be an N thing (versus S). J gets closure in things that are important to it. More likely for P to forget things like this than J, but when you compare ITP to IFJ for N types, well both include some "fuzzy functions" that could lead to ignore physical reality for the internal world.
Overly emotional people piss me off. If you come to me for advice, listen to what I have to say. I've had several friends in the past who would take the first emotion they felt in a situation and run with it, no rhyme or REASON in it. We can't help how feel about something or somebody, but we can choose how we react to those feelings. THINK before you ACT!
I see this reaction as common for INFJ and INTP. Ni+Ti and Ti+Ne both have this as a trademark. Even Fe isn't really excited about people just doing stupid emotional things, it's the Se/Ne + Fi people that really react outwardly on an emotional level as a trademark move. Both INTP and INFJ control their emotions; INTP does it because it's trying to intellectualize the emotions and feels completely out of sorts with experiencing them (i.e., being incompetent), INFJ does it more directly as a means of avoiding getting hurt.
I don't like people. A person can be smart, but people are stupid. If I see somebody suffering, my heart goes out to them, but unless they're close to me I don't really want to get involved. I don't care what others think of me. Their opinion doesn't matter. On the flip side, If you're in my inner circle, I'm constantly worried about how you view me.
Again, both INTP and INFJ have self-protective mechanisms. They can dismiss people who 'don't matter,' but for people who do matter? INTP is probably more apt to worry about losing resources and freedom if they displease those around them, INFJ is more worried about losing love and self-respect... but just guessing there.
I'm usually considered a ghost or a hermit to my friends. Even though I think the world of them and enjoy spending time with them, I'll still drop off the planet sometimes. In the old days, my friends didn't consider it odd to go 2 weeks without hearing from me. Nowadays, the friends I have get a little worried about me if I do that. I'm not really used to that.
Again, INTPs do this naturally... more apt to be lost in their little world. INFJs do it more as a means of keeping a safe buffer there, to not get over-attached and thus vulnerable unless a strong commitment has been made and the person is trustworthy in practice.
I think my biggest hurdle is a physical affection barrier I have. I "talk" my emotions, I don't really "express" them in the normal sense. I'm not comfortable with people touching me. Growing up I got a lot more "hard" touch than "soft" touch. I can take a punch, slap, poke, kick and not think anything of it. A hug is just kinda weird to me. When somebody does touch me, I'm kinda...I dunno, hyper-aware or hyper-sensitive, I can kinda feel them when they're still a couple of inches away from actual contact. Touch=Trust to me. The more comfortable I am with someone touching me, the more it means I trust them.
Again, both can be issues... usually for the INTP, it's fearing a loss of freedom and mobility (emotionally and physically), INFJ might feel invaded on a personal level. If you let someone into your space, you suddenly have to accommodate them as well as a heightened sense of vulnerability. I don't really sense the same issues with INFP (which seems to often handle the warmth okay, although sometimes not) or INTJ (which just either avoids it altogether and is fine with not having it, or else putting bounds on it so it's never in danger of getting out of control).
When I do express, its not usually obvious. If I actually initiate physical contact with someone it means they're in my inner circle. Even with those closest to me its hard to initiate though even when I really want to. I'm more subdued about things when I do. I've got this weird head pat/hair-ruffle that's my equivalent to a hug.
I like to run my hand through someone's hair tenderly, or along a shoulder, or almost do the "FaceOff" trademark move... it depends on the depth of the relationship.
I do do hugs nowadays though, and like them.
The thing is that these are not my raw responses. Physical affection for me was years in the making, and just because I can do it now with ease and without fear is no indication of how hard it was for me twenty years ago. That's the problem sometimes when people get more well-rounded, in regards to determining type. We change, and part of positive growth is getting better at things that are not naturally us.
I've been told I don't give a lot of visual cues when something is bothering me. I find this to be true. I feel I've got a level of self-control that's oftentimes bordering on unhealthy.
Totally the same here. My pulse never goes up, my breathing never changes, I talk in the same casual voice... but inside I might be ready to scream, flee, or black out from anxiety. I told someone I was mad at them the other night because I felt like they dumped a bunch of crap on me, and yet I just did what was best in the situation, and they said they couldn't even tell I was mad; that was because people do not get to see my emotions unless I decide to allow my body to show them. It's mostly a self-protective measure; emotions can be dangerous (because they might trigger uncontrollable responses in other people), and because they reveal one's feelings and then you can be vulnerable.
INTP and INFJ are both pretty renown for their ability to not reveal emotion when they want to cloak it.