Here are some very simple linguistic skills everybody can learn. Say "Yes, and..." rather then "but".
Perfect!! Perfect, perfect, perfect.
Two of the people closest to me are an ESTJ and an ENTP.
In the eyes of a nine, they argue A LOT. And I always have to sit there listening to how they are arguing with eachother... about the same side of an argument.
Te takes Ti's ideas and adds more to them.
Ti takes back and deepends them, etc.
The whole time, both look extremely argumentative but are going through a series of shouted "yes, and.."s.
They are never upset at eachother after.
I think all ExTx types seem like they are arguing when they really aren't.
ALSO language technique wise, never ever victimize yourself.
It's never "You're arguing about this and it needs to stop!"
Say "I feel like we're arguing, are we?" or "I feel like your voice is raised, I'm sorry, but could you tone it down maybe?"
By making it seem as though you could be the wrong one, it disarms others. Accusations create more anger. Understanding leads to happiness.