You always play this little trick. Run of the mill INFJ baiting.
INFJs, on the other hand, are far less brash. They're like ninjas using their Ni to get the job done. In a sneak attack, they slip in, plant the subliminal message, and escape. INFJs (healthy ones) also would never manipulate to the point of risking the relationship either. They would, rather than strong arm the person quickly to get what they want when they want, be patient, and slowly change the person's mind (brainwash them).
I definitely have an evangelistic streak, when I am really passionate about something I have the power to influence people. However I am very careful about manipulation, I would feel incredibly bad and fake about coercing someone into doing something for my own selfish gain, even if the person did in the end exactly what I wanted them to do I wouldn't be able to enjoy the victory because I would hate myself for the manipulation.
It's something else if I try to get people to do something for the greater good or if I have their best interests in mind, I will try to guide them towards what I consider the right path but I will also always give them an in-built exit strategy, again I would hate myself if I really forced someone to do something against their will.
But you think there's a difference between manipulation and winning someone over, don't you. There's lots of stories where the girl was NOT interested in the guy but he kept at it and she ended up falling for him.
I wouldn't even think to say he manipulated just because she changed his mind. Manipulation comes into play when you use a person's personality, situation/circumstances, fears, motivations and other stuff as a 'carrott' to get them to walk in the direction you want to.
So, to use my example above but change it a bit...
Let's say an ENTP dude notices there's a single mom who's not making ends meet and he uses this knowledge to his advantage. He befriends the woman, 'learns' of her situation 'for the first time', expresses compassion, offers to help, and won't accept any kind of gratitude except a spoken 'thank you'. But later he'll come back and talk about some kind of tough situation, maybe tell a sad story that he used to be the son of a single mom who was barely making ends meet trying to strike a chord with the woman... suddenly he's trying to get her to feel something for him using her situation and what he's done to gain selfishly.. you get my point, right?
Let's say an ENTP dude, for example, notices there's a single mom who's not making ends meet and he uses this knowledge to his advantage. He befriends the woman, 'learns' of her situation 'for the first time', expresses compassion, offers to help, and won't accept any kind of gratitude except a spoken 'thank you'. But later he'll come back and talk about some kind of tough situation, maybe tell a sad story that he used to be the son of a single mom who was barely making ends meet trying to strike a chord with the woman... suddenly he's trying to get her to feel something for him using her situation and what he's done to gain selfishly.. you get my point, right?
odd. This is manipulation, however it would never work on me (as a single mom) as I would refuse assistance in the first place. Or I would quantify the assistance in a very Te specific way and then outline how I would repay the favor. I would recognize the implied obligation inherent in any sort of offering of help and be aware.
Would the above ENTP tactic work effectively on an Fe user?h
Ti and Te are different flavors of manipulation. It's essentially the same end-product. How you get there is different.
Synarch has a good point. ENTPs would be more versatile in manipulator in many different situations (different people). Whereas the INFJ's strong suit lays in sincerity/genuine-ness.
For an INFJ to go against that and try to manipulate outside of their strong suit, I think they'd run into the way of, "Ohh, but they might think I was trying to...." INFJs care greatly about having people happy, and prize peace and solace with others. They'll avoid conflict and any paths that could lead to conflict.
So for an INFJ to manipulate selfishly... I think that's one (yes, there's more than one) of their self-destruct buttons.
Interesting.
I think ENTP's are likely to manipulate in a fairly superficial and instrumental fashion, which is unlikely to cause a crisis of conscience. Like, "Let me use my Fe powers to smooth things over and we can both be happy."
Whereas I can see an INFJ agonizing over a manipulation.
I think you're interpretation is wrong.
I actually find that by not loading every interaction with empathy that could be misplaced (strong Fe types can make the most bizarre assumptions) I am free to analyze a given human interaction and determine what is necessary to make everyone feel better. Make sense?
In other words, strong empathy can sometimes make things worse.
Also...
Coldness and reserve does not mean uncaring.
I care more about achieving a result of helping someone than actually commiserating, which has arguable utility in the grand scheme of things and can create emotional dependence. What I really want to do is help people stand on their own.
I agree with you.
Too much Fe can often lead to a lot of 'crazy' in a relationship.
But a complete absence of it lead can lead to neglecting the communication of closeness and intimacy (compassion).
Yes, I agree with that for sure. But, too much Fe can also create avoidance on the part of the INFJ who might find themselves drained by too many taxing relationships where they are pouring forth empathy into bottomless souls.
Granted, I do have problems being close with people, so my approach has its downsides. I get short-circuited really easy by heavy emotions to the degree that I have to seek shelter. I find heavy emotion from others to be overwhelming so I do tend to wall up just to weather it.
Dude, I'm like the biggest softie in the world. I'm always the one thinking people hate me.